I'm losing half my soul
To face the world alone
But the days go by and
Things get better

We're not the type to just give up
But I know that it's what's best for us
The days go by and
Things get better

So Justin and my relationship escaladed into something that I always wanted. I eventually sold my town house and moved in with Justin. What a waste huh? But it was good, for once. Jive had the bright idea of having Justin and Christina do a tour together, so most of Justin’s time now was spent practicing for the tour as well as promoting his album on various TV shows and things. Ashley’s pregnancy was progressing along with JC and Ashley’s relationship. He had proposed to her and she said yes. That didn’t take very long. I got all this information for a little birdy aka Justin. He remained friends with Ashley and JC; which I didn’t mind, because he had known JC for a long time. But anyway, they were happy and so was I.

Ashley did finally give birth to a little girl. Her name was Jocelyn Alisa Chasez. Ashley almost died during it as well, there had been some complications during the delivery and they told her she’d never be able to have kids again. Justin began to make his daily trips over to Ashley and JC’s to see the baby. He completely fell in love with her, so JC and Ashley asked him to be Jocelyn’s god father and of course he agreed. JC and Ashley then asked me to be Jocelyn’s god mother, and I did accept the offer after much convincing of Justin of course.

So around this time, Justin had made up his mind that he would be a wonderful father. He knew that if he could watch over his god daughter then he could watch over his own child. So this topic came up when I had gone with him to help baby sit Jocelyn one time. JC and Ashley’s relationship with me wasn’t completely mended but I could stand the sight of them without gagging. ;) Anyway, Justin and I would sometimes baby sit together to have some company and so Ashley and JC could have some time alone. So there we were in the soon to be “Chasez” household. I was cleaning up the dinner dishes while Justin sat with Jocelyn aka Joc (everyone’s nickname for her) in the living room. The little girl was only a couple of weeks old and Justin was trying to teach her to say “Nino” (which is God father in Spanish). He would be in her face repeating “Nino” and she would look at him in a trance. It was the cutest thing. I had finished up the dishes and walked into the living room where Justin was with Joc. I stood leaning against the door way, watching them.

“C’mon Jocy, say Nino” Justin whispered to her “Nino … nino”

I rolled my eyes at his attempt. All Joc did was squirm in his arms and her face tensed up. I laughed a little too loudly and Justin glanced over at me.

“Are you spying on me?” he questioned

I smiled “Of course not” I replied “Jus watching you interact with our god daughter”

He smiled at that and held Jocelyn tightly. I came over and sat down next to him, leaning over to look at Jocelyn as she lay peacefully in his arms.

“Doesn’t that sound good?” he asked “Our god daughter”

I watched Joc and smiled and nudged his side lightly.

“Yea it does” I said

“You know what would sound better?” he asked

“Hmm?” I questioned

“Our child” he said simply.

I looked at him, not saying anything for a minute. He had to be kidding me. He wanted me to get pregnant now? Now that his tour was going to start and he was going to be on the road for months at a time. He watched me for a minute, then looked back down at Jocelyn and made a face at her. I watched him as he played with her, and smiled. It would be great to have a kid with Justin, but I don’t know about the timing. With everything that he had on his plate, with the new album and everything. And me, well I really wasn’t doing much. Maybe this was the perfect timing. I think Justin might have thought that he scared me by not brining it up for a while. But it was the complete opposite. It had me thinking about things that I would have never thought of before; a family with Justin Timberlake. Could it really work? After we got Jocelyn to bed through we both went and sat down in the living room. Justin had turned on the TV and was scanning through the channels as I sat next to him, leaning my head on his shoulder. I reached out and grabbed one of his hands and held onto it tightly.

“Justin” I replied softly

“Hmm” he said, not tearing his eyes away from the TV

“Were you serious?” I asked him

“About what?” he asked,

Gosh. He wasn’t even paying attention. All he wanted to do was watch the dumb basketball game. I leaned over and grabbed the changer from him, practically falling on his lap, and shut the TV off.

“Trace” he whined “I’m tryin to watch this”

I sat myself on his lap side ways my legs hanging, facing him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He looked into my eyes and smiled a little. I smiled back and leaned forward to kiss his lips lightly. He looked at me as our kiss ended and smiled.

“What’s up?” he asked

I smiled; “I’ve been thinking” I started

“About?” he asked watching me curiously

“Having a baby” I said simply, waiting to see his reaction

His face just light up, his eyes shined brightly, and he flashed his million dollar smile.

“Are you serious?” he questioned

I smiled and kiss his cheek lightly, my hands going to the back of his neck where I start to mess with the hair he’s starting to grow back. He wraps his arms around my waist hugging me close.

“I jus want to make sure you’re positive about this” I replied, “I know you’re gonna go on tour soon”

He looked at me and nodded “I know, but nothing will keep me away from you if you need me” he said

I smiled, and kissed him lightly, he kissed me back, holding me close to him. My life was actually working out for once and it was great. When Jocelyn Alisa was 5 months old I was about 4 month pregnant with our first child. We were going to have a boy, and Justin’s heart was set on naming him Justin Randall Timberlake Jr. It will probably end up being that, just because Justin usually gets what he wants.

So yeah, since I became pregnant I didn’t do much dancing. Could you imagine? Trying to do the moves that Wade comes up with? Hah, no. So I became a house wife for awhile. Justin didn’t like me doing much anyway, you know since I was carrying his child and all. Lynn came out a couple of times to visit with me, and also her first little grand baby. She probably was just about as excited about it as Justin was. She helped me pick some things out for the baby room, and a theme for it as well. It was nice to have someone to hang out with while Justin was out. I know he didn’t always want to be, but this was his dream and I wasn’t going to stand in the way of that. My family came out as well a couple of times to stay with us and visit awhile. My mom wasn’t very fond of Justin when I first told her about the whole thing, but she grew to love him like a son. She really wasn’t happy that I wasn’t married and was having a baby but the first time she felt the baby kick; all the anger seemed to melt away. So my life was going on the right track for now.

Right now I was at home. It feels funny to say that: home. But yeah, that’s what it was to me now. My parents had just gone home so I was cleaning up around the house, from having guests all weekend. Justin had been around some of the time, but this morning he told me he had some last minute things to do so he headed out earlier to do those things. I just got done changing the sheets and things out of the guest house in the back yard and was getting ready to fold a pile of laundry in the living room. I was almost done when Justin came storming through the front door,

“Honey I’m home!” he called out

I laughed to myself as I turned over to yell out “In here!”

Soon Justin came through the door way and made his way towards me. I glanced back to see him with this huge smile on his face as he stood in the door way watching me.

I laughed “What’s up?” I asked, as I continued to fold.

“Nothin” he replied and sat down next to me on the couch “Did your family get off ok?”

I nodded “Yes, though they wondered what you were up too” I said

He smiled and leaned into kiss my cheek “Don’t worry, when you find out you’ll forget all about it” he said

I looked at him “Will I?” I questioned

He nodded with a smile. I laughed and finished folding the last piece of clothing, and handed him his pile.

“Here these are for you” I replied, handing off the huge pile

He looked at me and pouted. I watched him and laughed.

“What?” I asked

“I wanted to give you a present first” he replied

I looked at him, hmm, a present huh?

“Okay” I replied and opened up my hand “Let me have it”

He laughed “Close your eyes” he said

I sighed and closed them with a smile. Justin in the meantime had put down the pile of clothes that I had given him and got down on his knees in front of me. I felt him lift my hand, and kiss my fingers lightly. All this time my mind was going crazy with thoughts. Then I felt it, a ring being slipped onto my finger. No way was he proposing! I smiled, and couldn’t help the tears that started to fall out of my closed eyes. I had been really emotional lately, but the doctor said it was the hormones. I could feel butterfly’s in my stomach and began to get all fluttered. The baby must of sensed it too because he started doing what felt like flips. I heard Justin snicker as he saw the tears start to pour out of my closed eyes.

“Okay, open em” he said

I slowly opened my eyes, and looked down at the engagement ring that rest on my left hand ring finger. I squealed like a little school girl and practically fell on Justin as he sat on his knees in front of me.  He laughed and hugged me tightly, as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Yes yes yes!” I cried before he even asked me the question

He laughed, and hugged me tightly.

“Yes what?” he asked, “I haven’t even asked you anything”

I laughed “Ask me, ask me” I replied and broke the hug looking at him

He smiled, and reached out to dry the tears from my eyes with his thumbs.

“Trace…” he said softly

I smiled “Yeah” I said watching him

He leaned in and kissed my forehead, and then brought my hand to his lips and kissed it once more.

“Will you marry me?” he asked, looking me in the eyes

I smiled back at him, and nodded.

He leaned in and we kissed passionately for a minute before breaking the kiss and I hugged him tightly once more. Now this was the life.

We'll pass some crossing roads
Surviving on our own
But the days go by and... 

So things happened pretty quickly after that. My pregnancy progressed well, as well as Jocelyn. She was looking more and more like Ashley with each passing day and acting more and more like JC as well. She had her daddy wrapped around her little finger though. JC finally got his writing bug back and began to write and record songs for his new album. Justin was traveling around the world touring with Christina and doing a lot of promoting. I went with him for some of the things he did locally, just so that I had a chance to be with him.

Eventually JC and Ashley got married. It was a nice ceremony on the beach, and they headed off to Hawaii to have their honeymoon. And I had finally given birth to the first Timberlake child; we went through with the name Justin Randall Timberlake JR. He looked just liked Justin in every way, from the clear blue eyes to the unruly curly hair and an attitude to boot. He was our “love child” so to speak and will always be that to Justin and I. So during JC and Ashley’s honeymoon Jocelyn stayed with us, which was a little hectic since we had Jocelyn and JR was only about a couple months old. But we got through it okay. When JR was about 1 year old, Justin and I finally got married. It was a quiet ceremony with just family and friends and we headed out to Jamaica to have our honeymoon. We had asked Ashley and JC to be JR’s god parents and they both accepted.

So after everyone had their weddings and things started to settle down again, Justin went onto his Europe leg of the tour and JC began promoting his new album. His first single opened up a lot of eyes in the music world, and got some good and bad reviews but all in all people were excited about another *Nsyncer making a solo album.

Ashley and JC wanted more kids, but since Ashley was un-able they adopted. Andrew Scott Chasez was their second child. He was just a little pudge ball, he had brown hair and big dark brown eyes. He was so cute, and again they asked us again to be his god parents and of course we said yes. So things were becoming semi routine for the both of our families. So around the time Andrew had arrived in the picture, JC started touring around the states.

I had gotten home from a hectic day of activities with the now 2 year old JR; we started a mommy and me program to keep him occupied some of the day and to get some of that energy out. It was fun we did some arts and crafts, sang some songs, things like that. Anyway, I got him into the house and of course he ran straight to the down stairs bathroom to let out our puppy Cocoa. She was a chocolate lab. A dog I had always wanted growing up. I put down our bags by the front door and took off my shoes, listening for JR to make sure he was okay. It was about time for his afternoon nap, and he was getting a little cranky. I walked into the living room where he was playing with Cocoa and laughing that high pitched kid laugh that always melted my heart. I watched him for a minute, smiling.  Then spoke.

“JR baby, come on its nappy time” I said

He looked at me from his position on his floor and pouted, I smiled, geez he was Justin to a T.

“C’mon, don’t you want to be awake when daddy gets home?” I asked him smiling

He sighed, and looked at Cocoa who was lying on her back as JR scratched her belly. He got up and walked towards me, putting his arms up. I smiled and bent down and lifted him into my arms and kissed his forehead. He laid his head on my shoulder, and wrapped his arms around my neck. He talked to me about his day as if I wasn’t with him all day, and we made conversation as I made my way up the stairs and into JR’s bedroom. I took off his shoes and laid him down on his bed and he snuggled close to his stuffed dog that his nino and nina got him.

“Sleep tight JR” I said kissing his forehead

He mumbled his response as his eyes closed. Cocoa had followed us up the stairs and lay outside his bedroom door. She was his watch dog, it was cute. So after I got him all snuggled in, I took the baby monitor with me down stairs. I dug through my bag and got out my brand new JC Chasez “Schizophrenic” album that I had purchased at Target earlier that day. I went into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of iced tea and then made my way into the studio that was down stairs. I closed the door lightly, and put the baby monitor on the shelf and sat down on the couch and proceeded to open up the CD. I was so excited for him; it was something he always wanted to do. So I put the CD is the player and sat back down on the couch. I opened up the little booklet and began to look through it. It was so unlike the JC that I knew in the beginning. He had grown so much over the years it was kind of weird to see him this way. So I let the songs play through for a little while, and then began to go through the ones that I liked. When I came across this one, it was a smooth sounding guitar so I laid back and closed my eyes listening to the beat. It was a good one, smooth sounding, different from his other songs. Then I heard it, the words that described JC and my break up. The pain, emotion, and thoughts were all poured out into the song. I think I listened to it 5 more times, before I reached over for the phone. I dialed JC’s cell, and waited as it rang. Finally he answered.

“Hello”

“Hey Jace, it’s Traci”

“Oh hey Space, what’s up?”

I smiled and laid back on the couch, “I jus wanted to let you know I got your album today”

“Oh yea?” he questioned “What did you think?”

I smiled, “I think it’s awesome, it shows a lot about you and how much you’ve grown”

He laughed “Well thank you”

“You’re welcome”

We were quiet for a minute before I spoke up again.

“Oh and I wanted to tell you something else” I said

“Yeah?” he questioned

I smiled “I forgive you”

He was quiet for a minute, and I almost thought he hung up. Then he spoke.

“I’m glad” he replied, “Everything in that song is true”

I smiled, a tear sliding down my cheek “Thanks JC”

“No problem Space” he replied

“I um gotta go, so I’ll talk to you later ok?” I replied, trying to end the conversation before it became awkward.

“Alright, bye”

He hung up. And that was it. Things were okay from then on. Like always things come up but you work through them and things turn out for the best in the end. And the days go by.

 -*- The End -*-

Dear Goodbye- JC Chasez 

*&*Traci*&*

Comments?? Questions?? E-mail me at Spacey1141@hotmail.com