He tucked his hands into his pockets as he walked, kicking a few stones into the grass beside the sidewalk.

Looking up, he saw the familiar front porch across the street.

When he’d started out, he hadn’t had a destination in mind.

He’d just wanted to get some fresh air and think.

But his body had known exactly where to go.

He walked quickly across the street and up the stairs, smiling when he saw the old swing.

A few more steps and he was sitting quietly, swinging slowly back and forth.

He checked his watch.

In fifteen minutes they’d be getting started.

He shook his head and ran a hand over his face, leaning back until he was staring up at the ceiling of the porch.

“I should have known better than to get my hopes up.  But at least I finally took the chance.”

He spoke aloud before closing his eyes, taking a deep breath.

Finally able to relax, he listened to a few cars drive by, the soft breeze and the rocking motion of the swing lulling him into a peaceful sleep.

That was how she found him five minutes later.

She stood there and watched him for a moment, her fingers tightening on the envelope to keep from dropping it.

Quietly, she moved over to the swing and sat down beside him, taking care that she didn’t snag her dress.

Her eyes trailed over his face, taking in every detail as she listened to his soft breathing.

She brought her hand up, letting her fingers trace a line starting at his chin and moving around the curve of his jaw, up to his forehead, then down the bridge of his nose until they rested on his lips.

She smiled when his lips puckered against her fingertips, lines creasing his forehead as he turned his face toward her, concentrated on staying asleep.

Her fingers ran through his hair slowly, loving the fact that, after all these years, she was finally able to do it.

“Josh.”

He sighed deeply when her hand cupped his cheek, turning into her palm as his eyes blinked open.

“Katie?” 

He shook his head and looked around, getting a grasp on where he was, his eyes widening as it all came back to him.

“Oh, man.  Kate, I’m so sorry.  I just . . . I couldn’t . . .”

“It’s okay, Josh.”

He stopped stuttering and let his uncertain gaze rest on her face.

She moved her hand down and picked up the envelope, holding it up for him to see.

“It looks like we both missed it.”

His eyes shifted to the envelope and to her left hand before moving back up to her face.

“You . . . you didn’t . . .”

“No, I didn’t.  I couldn’t.”  She took a deep breath.  “I need to know if you meant it, Josh.  Did you really mean what you wrote in this letter?”

He swallowed hard and closed his eyes.

“Yeah, I did.  Every word of it.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“It wasn’t that easy, Kate.”  He ran a hand through his hair.  “We’ve known each other forever.  We watched each other grow up.  You’re the best friend that I’ve ever had.  When I finally figured out what was happening, what I was feeling . . . I was terrified that you’d turn away from me, that it’d screw up everything we’d based our friendship on.”  His eyes met hers.  “Our friendship is one of the most valuable things I have, Katie.  I just couldn’t risk losing it.  Or losing you.”

He smiled and let his eyes roam over her face.

“I can remember back in high school, we’d be hanging out, talking and laughing with each other . . . and I’d be watching you as closely as I could, trying to see anything that would clue me in as to how you felt.  I wanted to know whether or not you were seeing me differently, too.  But I just couldn’t see it.  No matter what we were doing or where we were, you were always the happy, bubbling girl who got along with anybody and everybody.” 

He sighed and turned his gaze out over the front yard. 

“I tried so many times to tell you, but I never thought that you’d ever see me as anything other than the guy who used to sneak out with you to catch lightening bugs in the middle of the night.”

They sat in silence for a moment, allowing her to digest what he’d said and to gather her thoughts.

“You know . . . I always thought that I just couldn’t measure up.”

At her voice, he slowly turned his head so that he could see her again.

“What?”

She reached out, her fingers picking at the fabric on the sleeve of his dress shirt.

“When we hit high school, you started going out with the girls who had supermodel good looks . . . the ones who could have had anyone they wanted with a smile and a toss of their hair.  Then you went to Florida and you’d call and talk endlessly about Keri or Lindsey or whatever woman was on the tour or in the studio.  And that was just the beginning.”  She sighed.  “When the group reached superstar status, I finally realized that you needed more than . . . well, more than me.  You needed more than I could ever give you, more than I could ever be.”

She paused, swallowing hard.

“You needed someone who could reflect your celebrity status, who could be gorgeous for the tabloids and television . . . and that wasn’t me.”  She laughed lightly, shaking her head.  “It still isn’t me.  I’m just the kid who used to short-sheet your bed and help you sneak out when you were grounded.” 

“Kate . . .”  His hand came up so that his fingers could touch the locket hanging from her neck.  “There wasn’t anyone or anything else that I wanted more than you, Katie.  You were everything.  You still are.”

“But I didn’t know that.”  She covered his hand with hers, trapping the locket in his fingers.  “You were the one that I turned to, that I could tell all my dreams and secrets to.  But at that point, all I knew was that you were following your own dreams, making them come true.” 

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. 

“You always told me to dream big . . . but my biggest dream was you, Josh.  When you left me behind . . .”

“You may not have been right in front of me, Kate . . . but you were constantly on my mind.  In my thoughts, my dreams.  Every time you came out to visit, I didn’t want to let you leave.  All those times on the phone . . . I didn’t want to hang up and lose the sound of your voice.  It killed me every time, but I knew that I had to let you go.  You had your own life to live and I couldn’t keep you from doing what you wanted with it.”

“That was then.”  Her free hand came to rest on the envelope in her lap, her fingers tapping across his handwriting.  “And this brings us to now.”

He looked down, envisioning the pages hidden in the sleeve.

“I . . . I guess it does.”  He brought his eyes back up to hers.  “So . . . what exactly does all this mean?”

She sighed, rolling her eyes.

“I always knew men were dense.  After everything, you still don’t know, do you?”  She shook her head.  “I ran out of my own wedding – I really think I did Julia Roberts proud with that one, by the way – and left a perfectly respectable guy at the altar because of a letter that you wrote me.  I’m sitting here in my wedding dress . . . and you still don’t have a clue.”

Her hand released his and he was free to bring his fingers to the side of her face.

“It took a lot for me to write that letter to you.  I’d fought it for so long, tried so hard to tell myself that I’d be okay without you.”  A small smile softened his features.  “And now that we’re finally getting it out . . . I need to hear the words just as much as you do, Katie.”

Her eyes moved over his face as she tried to come up with the perfect words.  “Ever since I was little . . .”  She trailed off, distracted by the intensity in his gaze.  “I love you so much it hurts, Josh.”

His eyes closed and she could hear him release the breath he’d been holding.

He stood, reaching out for her hand.

“Come here.”

She let him pull her to her feet and then into his arms.

He held her close, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, his chin against the side of her head.

“I love you too, Katie.  I always have.”

She could hear his smile in his voice and she tightened her arms around his neck, grinning into his shoulder before tilting her head back so that she could see his smiling face . . . the grin that she loved so much.

“It feels awesome to finally say it, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, it does.”  He raised one hand to the side of her face, his eyes skipping over her features.  “And you definitely don’t have to worry about any of those supermodels you think I’m around so much.  They don’t hold a candle to you.”  His thumb traced over her jaw.  “I always thought you were gorgeous, but right now . . . you’re absolutely stunning.”

She laughed softly.

“Must be the dress.”

“No, it’s not the dress.  It’s your eyes . . . and your smile . . .”  His fingers brushed the areas around each feature, smiling as he remembered.  “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Katie.”

Her playful smile and arched eyebrow told him that she remembered as well.

“You’re almost there.  Make me feel like you mean it.”

She felt him moving and her fingers brushed his neck as they moved up and into his hair, pulling him closer as she met him halfway.

He’d been dreaming of kissing her for years, but he’d never imagined that it would be this tender, this open . . . this electric.

Her fingers tightened in his hair and he felt her sigh when he tilted his chin downward to deepen the contact, holding her so tightly that he could feel her heart beating against him.

His hands cupped her face as he pulled back, placing light kisses on each of her cheeks and her forehead.

She smiled when he leaned his forehead against hers and fought to catch his breath, his thumbs brushing back and forth, tracing the lines of her cheek bones.

“I’ve been waiting years to do that.”

“Just don’t try to wait that long again.”

“I don’t think I could if I wanted to.”  He smiled and wrapped his arms around her, holding her against him once again.  

She rested her cheek on his shoulder, grinning when he shivered at the light touches of her fingers playing with the short hair just above his neck.

“I want so much to do this right, Kate, but . . . it’s going to be harder than we think.”  He sighed as she pulled back to see his face.  “I’ve only got a couple of days before I have to head off for the tour.  For now . . . I guess we’ll just have to make do with the phone calls and visits.”

“There’s got to be a way . . .”  She stopped mid-sentence, her hands coming down to settle on her hips as she thought.  Then she grinned.  “I’m coming with you.”

“What?”  His eyes widened.

“I’m coming with you.”

“What about . . .”

“I don’t have anything to keep me here.  My job is history.  Tim didn’t want to give off the impression that I had to work, so he made me quit.”  She laughed at his raised eyebrow.  “Call it a temporary lapse in sanity.”  She shook her head.  “I’m a web designer.  I can do that from pretty much anywhere.  Maybe I’ll start an independent agency or something.  Anyway . . . I put the house on the market a couple weeks ago.  The buyers should be closing on it this week.  My stuff’s already in storage.  I’ll just have to dig out a few things and I’ll be set to go.”

“What about your mom?  Oh, God . . . she’s going to kill me.”

“She’ll just rough you up a little bit.  Nothing permanent.”  She laughed at his groan.  “Seriously . . . my mom has your mom.  She’ll cope.” 

“You’re sure you want to do this?”  His eyes searched hers.  “You won’t miss home?”

“Like they say, home is where the heart is.”  She smiled and touched his chin.  “How can I miss it if I’m right there with you?”

He was about to answer, but she reached up, pulling him down to her again.

She smiled against his lips when she heard his sigh, then felt one of his arms looping around her waist, pulling her as closely as he could and kissing her as if he couldn’t get enough and never wanted to stop.

 ---------------------------------------

Across the street, two ladies sat in a car parked at the curb, watching with bright smiles as their children finally brought it together.

“Think you can store that dress for a while longer?”

“Nah . . . she got it on clearance at a second-time around place.  She can find another when she needs to.”

“How long do you think it’ll take them?”

“With their track record . . . let’s just say that they’ll get around to it . . . eventually.”

They jumped when there was a tap at the driver’s window.

The window was lowered and Tyler leaned inside, grinning as he pointed towards the front porch of the house across the street.

They watched as Josh lifted Kate off her feet and twirled in a circle with her, both laughing as layers of fabric swirled around them, then he set her back down to kiss her again.

“Ladies . . . we did good.”

Tyler gave them a thumbs-up, then backed away, tapping his knuckles on the hood of the car before walking back to his car.

Linda and Karen looked back out the window, watching as the couple on the porch got comfortable in the swing.

They turned to each other exchanging grins and slapping hands in a high-five.

“Yes!”