JC rolled over to look at his alarm clock.  Problem was, he couldn’t read his alarm clock.  Not that he cared much what time it was anyway.  JC found it hard to care much about anything anymore.  After the club incident, he had no desire to go out into the world.  Lance and Joey had had to drag him out, since JC was too scared to move.  As they had snaked through the crowds, JC realized just how far from the door he had gotten.  He never wanted to feel that lost again.

            Thankfully, JC had seemed to find the one place where everything made sense: his bed.  He’d always taken solace in his bed, for as long as he could remember.  Now it felt like an old friend, the one thing he could cling to, when the rest of the world scared the living daylights out of him.  Whenever the wrong thoughts crept into his head, JC would slip away into another catnap to sleep off the isolation.

            JC heard the door open, and knew immediately who it was.  Everyone else had gone home, including his parents, who had to get back to their jobs in Florida.  “JC, man, get up.  You’ve been in that bed for three days straight,” Tyler griped.

            “I like it here,” JC replied, still facing the other direction.

            “Yea well, it’s almost lunch time, and you’ve gotta eat something.”

            JC groaned.  He doubted he could make himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, let alone something filling.

            “We can order Chinese,” Tyler tempted, trying desperately to get JC up.

            That was all it took.  Thank god for takeout.  No preparation required and they separated the different items in boxes.  And when it came to Chinese, JC was never one to say no.

            Sitting on the living room floor and munching on fried rice and General Tso’s, Tyler made JC’s emergence from his bedroom an excuse to make conversation.

            “Jace, do you intend on telling the guys that you’re blind?” he asked.

            “Ty, look…”

            “Jace.  They took you to a club.  You freaked and had to come home.  If you’d have said something beforehand, they wouldn’t have taken you,” Tyler explained.  “And do you have any idea how much mom was freaking out?  My God, you nearly gave that woman a heart attack!  What the hell were you thinking?!”

            “I don’t know Ty.  I’m not sure I was thinking.  I just…needed to escape,” JC mused.

            “Well that certainly wasn’t the way to do it.  And they deserve to know, you know.  I know you trust them and I’m sure they’ll support you.”

            “I don’t know Ty.  I really don’t want them to know, you know?  I mean, they see me as a perfectionist, someone who’s not satisfied with anything less than perfect.  I know I’m flawed, they know it, but handicapped?  Someone who’s…..helpless?  I wouldn’t be the same person to them.”

            “You’re still JC aren’t you?  You didn’t get a personality change because of that accident.  They’re not going to see you as some freak JC.”

            “Lance kept a secret from us for years.  Why can’t I do the same?”

            “Being gay is a lot easier to hide than being blind, Josh.  You need to tell them.”

            JC sighed.  He knew his brother was right, he just wasn’t sure how he was ever going to break it to them.

            “Oh, by the way man, the hospital called,” Tyler said, stuffing food into his mouth.

            “Oh God. They didn’t find something else did they?” JC panted.  “Or…or….is this all just temporary?  Am I going to get my sight back?  Am I?”

            “Chill Jace.  It’s neither.”  JC slumped in disappointment.  “They know what happened and they’re concerned about you adjusting.  They gave us the number to this institute for the visually impaired, said they help people who suddenly lose eyesight.  Like you.  Said this place would help you learn how to get around, read braille, stuff like that.  You should probably call them today.”

            “I don’t want to,” JC said.

            “You have to Jace.  You can’t live in denial forever.”

            JC set down his chopsticks.  “Sure I can,” he demanded.  “I’m going to use the bathroom.”

            “You need help finding it?” Tyler asked.

            “It’s my own damn house, I think I can find the bathroom,” JC snapped as he stood up.  He made his way in the direction he was pretty sure the bathroom was, but got no more than five feet before tripping over the coffee table in the middle of the room.

            “You’re calling that institute.”