"You need to relax," Justin told Shelby who seemed to be really tense.

"I'm fine," she shrugged trying to relax.

"Well, have a shot. That will loosen you up," Justin said getting ready to fix her a drink.

"I don't want to get drunk right away," Shelby answered with a shake of her head. "Just make me a rum and coke."

"I will do that and you have to do a shot with me to start the night off. Would you like the cherry or the raspberry?" Justin asked.

"Let me try the cherry, I know how the raspberry is."

"Okay." Justin said handing her a shot cup containing a red liquid.

"What exactly are we doing, Justin? Just sitting here drinking?' she asked suddenly feeling very antsy.

"We can do whatever you want," Justin answered. "Cheers," he said holding up his glass.

Shelby gasped as the alcohol hit her throat and burned a track down to her stomach. The flavored vodka wasn't as bad as the real thing, but she normally wasn't much of a drinker so she wasn't used to it at all.

"We could always watch a movie or something," Justin suggested sitting on the couch next to her.

Shelby shrugged her shoulders clearly uninterested in watching a movie as he had suggested.

"Well do you have any other suggestions? You seemed excited before and now you're acting weird. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she lied. All she could think about was being alone with Justin.

"So what did you want to do? Play a game? I'd suggest like strip poker or something, but you'd be naked in no time. You're not wearing much." Justin smiled looking at her outfit.

"It's comfortable. That's all I really care about. I don't know why I kept this shirt. It has brought me through some tough times. When everything happened I found this shirt and it still had your scent on it and I kept it and eventually I had to wish it then it didn't smell like you any more. I should have just thrown it away, but I suppose I kept it as a reminder of you. I knew it was your favorite shirt and when I wore it, it was as if I still carried a part of you with me." Shelby explained drawing her knees up to her chest resting her chin on her knees.

Justin watched as Shelby slip off to another era in her memories. She looked so forlorn as she recalled the days after he left her and that made him feel ten times worse.

"Well, I'm glad you kept it because it looks good on you now." Justin answered softly.

Shelby smiled wistfully not really answering. She just took a drink of her rum and coke.

"I'm sorry, Shelby. I know I've said it before and no matter how many times I say it I know that isn't enough." Justin added.

"Don't beat yourself up over it, Justin. It was a long time ago. I've healed. Yes, I have scars from it, but just like these scars on my arms; I'm not ashamed of them. Bad things happened to me and I know it wasn't my fault and it has only made me stronger." Shelby paused, tracing the white scars on her arms.

"I've been free from cutting and self hatred since then and it is something I can be proud of. The only time I've ever had a relapse of any sort was that night you took care of me when I was drunk and depressed." Shelby added softly looking down at her palm where the blade had been.

Justin had to admire her strength and thought back to when he first met her.

The drive didn’t last very long just a few short minutes before Shelby again felt like an outsider. She watched Aimee enter the house and felt like driving off. She wasn’t good at dealing with people, it was another five minutes before Shelby finally got the nerve to knock on the door.

“We don’t want any.” The coldest blue eyes said down to her.

“I’m here with Aimee.” Shelby replied to this tall man with curly hair and blue eyes.

“Aimee has been here for at least 10 minutes, if you were here you would have come in with her.” He argued.

“I had to take care of something out here.” Shelby pointed to the driveway.

Justin just rolled his eyes and slammed the door.

Shelby felt a sickening in her stomach as she knocked on the door again, Aimee invited her and she was determined to at least speak with her.

“What do you want.” Justin opened the door again.

“Let me talk to Aimee, she’ll let me in.” Shelby stated rather timidly.

“Aimee doesn’t know you. I asked her. We don’t want your,” he looked her up and down, “kind, here.”

He knew that she had security issues when he'd first lashed out at her, but like the asshole he was back then he'd lashed out at her anyway. He was so messed up with all that Britney drama that he couldn't see passed his own pain--until he really got to know Shelby. He remembered the first time he'd kissed her as clear as day.

Nothing could prepare either Shelby or Justin for what happened next. As if some sort of Disney Magic, the next song was Hero. Justin grabbed her by the waist and held her close. Shelby relaxed in Justin's arms and let him sway them to the music. There was no place she would rather be then right her right now, in her Hero's arms. The man she loved was holding her and she was happy.

Just when Shelby thought it couldn't get any better, Justin started softly singing the song to her, she turned her head to look at him and watched him sing rather than watching the fire works.

The fireworks in the sky weren't the only fire works that were happening at that moment. Shelby and Justin got lost in each others eyes and in the moment. Finally Justin did what he'd been denying himself, he leaned down and softly kissed her. Shelby made a noise in shock, but soon turned to face him and shyly put her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Kissing Justin was like nothing she'd ever imagined. He was her first kiss, her first everything, she loved him and he was kissing her.

Justin pulled back and sang the last line of the song to her softly, "I can be your hero".

Justin's thoughts were interrupted when Shelby got up and started digging in her bag and got her ipod out.

"Where is your jack in here? It's way too quiet." Shelby asked looking around the room for the adapter that she had in her room.

"It's over by the TV." Justin said nodding in that direction.

"Thanks," she said spotting the dock and set her ipod inside it and turned it on. She turned up the volume and pressed play.

:What are you playing?" Justin asked making himself another drink.

"Whatever plays." Shelby shrugged. "Are you done with your first drink already?"

"Yeah. I probably put too much coke in it and not enough liquor." he said adding more run to his current drink. "How's yours?"

"It's fine," Shelby shrugged sitting down holding her drink in her hand.

Justin nodded then leaned over and poured another splash of rum in her drink. "There, you have to stay with me so I'm not drunk by myself."

"Jerk," she added holding her drink close to her chest and away from him.

"There's nothing fun about being the only sober one," Justin said holding up his glass.

"When there's a group of people it can be entertaining, but not when it's just us," she said taking a drink.

"So how are you diggin' the tour so far?" Justin asked making small talk.

"It's pretty cool."

"You're so boring, what's the deal," Justin said nudging her.

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm just bored."

"Well let's do something, maybe play cards. I have a deck." Justin jumped up and rummaged around in his bag until he found the red deck of playing cards then sat on the floor in front of the couch.

"Get down here," he said patting the spot on the floor across from him.

Shelby reluctantly moved to sit on the floor leaning back against the couch then took another sip of her drink.

"Need a refill before we start?" Justin asked shuffling the cards.

"What else did we get?" she asked setting aside her empty cup.

"Smirnoff and the vodka." Justin answered.

"I suppose the Smirnoff is warm," Shelby sighed. "No, wait we got it from the fridge."

Shelby got up and grabbed one of the six packs and set them down beside her. She took one out of the case then opened it and took a drink.

"What are we playing?"

"I don't know, what do you wanna play?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure what games you can really play with two people."

"We can play any game. Let's play go fish and make it a drinking game. Whoever loses has to take as many drinks as the winner has pairs," Justin suggested.

"Are we going to do four matching or two matching?" Shelby asked.

"We'll get drunk faster if we do two." Justin said dealing out the cards.

"What are the other rules? We better get 'em all out before we get started," Shelby said grabbing her pile of face down cards.

"Normal rules apply. If you draw and get what you asked for you go again and drink. Also if you draw a card that you already have in your hand and lay it down then you drink," Justin answered.

"Damn, we're gonna get drunk fast," Shelby groaned.

"Not necessarily."

"What if we tie with pairs." Shelby asked.

"Then we're both fucked."

"What if we get a pair right away when the game starts," Shelby questioned starting to get into it.

"Drink of course," Justin grinned.

Shelby took two drinks of her Smirnoff then laid down two sets. Justin didn't have any sets and the game got under way.

Shelby won the first round and laughed evilly when he had to drink all her pairs.

"You may think it's funny now, but just you wait. I will win this round and you will drink."

"Bring it on," Shelby getting totally feeling buzzed from the alcohol.

"You're a silly drunk tonight," Justin smirked watching her shuffle she cards.

"I'm not drunk," Shelby defended.

"I beg to differ."

"I'm not. I have a slight buzz, but I'm not drunk. I'm just loosened up," Shelby added dealing out the cards.

They picked up their hand and Shelby let out a curse.

"Fuck me," she muttered.

"What's the matter?" Justin asked surprised to hear such vulgar language coming from her.

She didn't answer verbally, she just laid all of her cards but one down.

"I told you, you were gonna drink a lot," Justin grinned while watching her open another smirnoff.

"Oh, shut up," Shelby said after taking a drink.

"Just saying," Justin winked.

And he was right. The game went on and Shelby was really lucky with her cards, but that made her have to drink more.

"Damn," she said after drawing yet another card that she asked for.

"That's right, drink up. You're going to be out of Smirnoff soon, then what?" Justin asked relishing the fact that a) he was winning and b) Shelby was getting just as drunk as he was.

"Shut it. I suppose I'll just do shots," she answered with a shrug.

"You will get wasted."

"Isn't that the point?"

"Not totally trashed now." Justin shook his head.

"Oh, I missed that part. Maybe we should stop after this game." Shelby suggested. "Got any jacks?"

"Yes, and no I don't." Justin answered.

The game lasted another ten minutes and ended with a tie. Shelby muttered a few explicative's under her breath.

"Drink both of those bottles." Justin said pointing to the bottle and a half she had next to her.

She downed the half bottle and opened the other one when one of her favorite songs by Panic at the Disco came on.

"Oh my god, I love this song, turn it up," she said getting to her feet. She felt the world spin and straightened up and walked over to turn up the system.

Oh, well imagine, as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,
and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words:
"What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter.
"And yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."

I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of...

She started singing along with the words really loud while dancing around trying not to spill her drink.

Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne
Oh! Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne, pour the champagne

"Come on Justin, get up and bust a move." Shelby said grabbing his arm.

"You are officially drunk," Justin laughed standing up.

"Yes, I believe I am." She said holding up her half empty bottle.

I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.

Again...

Shelby continued to sing really loud and pretty much off key. She finished the rest of her drink and moved a little too quickly to her left to set her empty bottle on the counter. She felt the room spin as she lost her balance and held her arms out to meet the floor as she was certain she was gong to fall.

She felt her insides burning when she felt a pair of strong arms catch her around the waist before she could lose total control.

She looked up in his eyes and saw the bemused expression on his face and started laughing uncontrollably.

I'd chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.

Again...

They were both near tears laughing so hard even though there was nothing that was funny. They just couldn't stop laughing.

"Breath Shelby," Justin laughed calming down some.

"I'm trying," she said as she inhaled deeply letting some much needed oxygen inside her lungs.

"Wow, I haven't laughed that hard in ages. Are you okay?" Justin asked not wanting to let go of her.

"I'm fine," she said searching his face subconsciously leaning closer to him.

They stared at each other for a good few seconds the air sizzling with electricity between them. It seemed fate was working for them because the next song that played was Hero.

Shelby's eyes widened and she felt tears burning in the back of her throat. She cursed the alcohol that made her even more emotional.

"Don't cry, Shelby." Justin whispered bringing one of his hands up to gently cup her cheek.

"I can't help it." Shelby said feeling tears trail down her face.

"What can I do to help you?" he asked cupping her other cheek with his other hand.

Shelby knew this was her only opportunity to be in his arms and nothing could stop her from what she was about to request.

Justin looked down into her eyes tenderly; waiting for a sign to make a move. He wanted to hold her in his arms all night long.

"Kiss me Justin," Shelby whispered her voice so quiet Justin barely heard it.

Justin heard her loud and clear and stepped closer to her, bringing his body up against hers. He heard her sharp in take of breath and knew she wanted this as much as he did.

What if you
Could wish me away
What if you
Spoke those words today

"Shelby," he whispered softly kissing her closed eyelids. He kissed both her eyes soft as a butterfly then the tip of her nose and finally her eager lips.

Shelby moaned softly and put her arms around Justin's neck and kissed him back. It seemed like it had been forever since she'd been in his arms like this.

Their kiss quickly became heated with passion as Justin ran his hands up and down her back. He lifted his head to look at her and smiled.

"What are you smiling at?" Shelby asked still lost in his embrace.

I wonder if you'd miss me
When I'm gone
It's come to this, release me
I'll leave before the dawn

"You," he stated simply.

Shelby opened her mouth to answer and that's what Justin was waiting for. He kissed her open mouth and grinned at her surprised expression.

His tongue entered her mouth and she clung to his shoulders as his kiss made her weak in the knees.

But for tonight
I'll stay here with you
Yes, for tonight
I'll lay here with you

Shelby was caught up in the euphoria of Justin's kiss. She felt fire all over her body, especially where his hands caressed the soft skin under her shirt.

Justin softly skimmed the underside of her breasts barely missing the hard peaks. He felt her shudder and bit off a groan. He put his arm behind her back and knees then gently picked her up and carried her to his bed and lay her down.

But when the sun
Hits your eyes
Through your window
There'll be nothing you can do

He looked down in her eyes and found them reflecting the same fire that he felt. He watched her face as he took the hem of her t-shirt and slowly started lifting it up. He tenderly kissed her bare skin as he lifted up her shirt.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered dropping soft kisses on her breasts narrowly missing her pale pink tips.

What if you
Could hear this song
What if I
Felt like I belong

"Justin," she whimpered lifting her body to meet his, desperate to feel his touch.

"You taste like honey," he whispered taking her pointed peak into his mouth.

Shelby cried out and put her hands on his head threading her fingers through his hair, holding him there.

I might not be leaving
Oh so soon
Began the night believing
I loved you in the moonlight

The little noises Shelby was making was driving Justin crazy. He got rid of the rest of their clothes and rejoined her on the bed. He hovered above her holding his weight on his elbows. He moved his hand down between her legs and felt that she was ready for him. He looked into her eyes and softly kissed her open mouth.

"Are you sure?" he asked barely able to control himself.

But when the sun
Hits your eyes
Through your window
There'll be nothing you can do

"Of course I'm sure, Justin. I want you inside of me." Shelby answered raising her hips up to meet his.

Justin moved between her legs and slowly pushed himself inside her. He watched Shelby close her eyes and smiled and gently reprimanded her

"Don't close your eyes, Shelby," he wanted to look at her beautiful face, he wanted to watch the passion she felt in her eyes. Every emotion she felt, the way she reacted to him as he moved inside of her. He'd never connected to someone on such a level like this before. It was almost more than he could handle.

I could've treated you better
Better than this
Well, I'm gone, this song's your letter
Can't stay in one place

Shelby felt nothing but pleasure as she rose up to meet him and felt fire burning deep in her stomach.

Justin kissed her softly as he thrust in and out, bringing them both closer to the edge. It was only a matter of minutes before they both reached an explosive climax.

So, for tonight
I'll stay here with you
Yes, for tonight
I'll lay here with you

Justin lay on her breathing heavily not wanting to separate.

"Wow, it's never been like that before," Shelby said breathlessly.

"It's never been like that for me either," Justin nodded in agreement. He rolled them to their sides and pulled out of her then just held her for a few minutes.

But when the sun
Hits your eyes
Through your window
There'll be nothing you can do

Shelby felt no regret for what had just happened. She was on cloud nine in the after glow after they had just made love. She snuggled close to Justin's side and felt her stomach drop when he seemed to be distant.

Justin was beginning to realize what had happened and was starting to regret it. Not that it had been bad as a matter of fact it had probably been the best he'd ever had, but he had basically just cheated on Cameron. They hadn't officially broke up yet and he shouldn't have let it go this far. She had just felt so right in his arms and one thing led to another. A thought passed through his brain and he acted on it a little harshly.

"Are you taking the birth control the doctor gave you?"

"Yeah," Shelby answered suddenly feeling very hurt.

"Good, because we didn't use any protection and the last thing I need right now is a kid," he answered.

Shelby stiffened and felt the words break her heart. She knew he wasn't trying to be hurtful that he was just trying to be honest, but the way he had said it tore at her. There was no way she could tell him about Danielle now.

Justin knew he'd hurt Shelby some how and wished he could take back his harsh words or at least put some sensitivity in it.

"Listen, honey, I didn't mean to be so harsh. I was just thinking that we didn't use any protection."

"I know," she nodded sitting up. She couldn't bear to be in the room with him any longer. She gathered her clothes and quickly got dressed.

"Where are you going?" Justin asked watching her.

"I have to go check on the girls." Shelby answered trying not to cry in front of him.

"Come here Shelby," Justin commanded quickly putting on his pants.

Shelby hesitated then looked back at him.

"Come here," he said opening his arms.

Shelby felt herself moving like a robot into his arms and let him wrap his arms around her. She fought for all she was worth not to start crying

"Go get some sleep, Shelby, I'll see you tomorrow morning." Justin said before placing a soft kiss on her swollen lips.

Shelby nodded obediently and turned and went out the door. Justin followed close behind to make sure she made it to her room and waited for her to close the door behind her then went back to his room.

He looked at the messy bed and felt a familiar tightening in his loins as he thought about what they'd just done. It was a serious mistake to let himself get that close to her. He was a hypocrite and it was killing him. He'd accused Shelby of cheating on him and she hadn't; he swore to Cameron that he'd never cheat on her, but yet he just had. Now every time he was around Shelby he would think about what they'd shared. He'd better keep a safe distance from her for both of their sakes.

Shelby was relieved to find Carrie, Nancy, and the girls in their room engrossed in a movie. She locked the door to the bedroom and threw herself on her bed and started sobbing.

She felt dirty and cheap after what Justin had said. She'd had the best time in her life and he had to ruin it by being insensitive. Even though he probably didn't mean it, it still hurt.

After a few minutes of crying, she pulled herself up and went to the bathroom. She turned on the shower and grabbed the hem of her shirt to pull it off when someone knocked on the door inside the suite.

"Shelby?" Carrie's voice called through the door.

Shelby went to open the door for her and stood back while she came in.

"Are you okay? I heard crying in here." Carrie asked looking concerned.

"Oh god Carrie, I fucked up," she said letting the tears fall again.

"Why? What happened?" Carrie asked putting an arm around her.

"I slept with Justin," she answered. "I was perfectly happy it was the best time of my life, and then when we were done he asked me if I was on birth control because the last thing he needed was a kid."

"Oh, I'm sorry Shelby," Carrie said sympathetically unsure what else she could or should say.

"I feel so dirty. I know it's stupid and I know he wasn't trying to be mean, but it just hurt so much. I don't know if I can tell him about Danielle now. I never meant to sleep with him, we were just both drunk and one thing led to another."

"I didn't regret it at all until he had to open his mouth and say that. God, I feel so stupid." Shelby explained not holding anything back.

"You're not stupid, you just love him. You saw an opportunity to be with him--even if just for a night and you took it. Love makes us crazy sometimes and it makes us do things we wouldn't normally do," Carrie said giving her insight.

"Thank you, Carrie, that really helps. I'm glad Ryan found you. I really needed a girl friend here," Shelby said hugging her.

"I'm here for you Shelby, no matter what. Ryan's driving me nuts so I don't think I'll be with him much longer, but as long as you still need me I'll be here. I don't have many girl friends either." Carrie added returning her hug.

"I have to go shower now, but I'll be in to see the girls after I'm done in here." Shelby said standing up.

Carrie nodded her head then got up and went into the other room where Nancy and the girls waited for her.

Shelby grabbed a change of clothes and took them into the bathroom and got in the cleansing shower washing away the reminder of what she'd done.

Songs:
I write sins not tragedies - panic at the disco
What if you - Josh Radin