Welcome To My Life
Chapter 6

After three days of watching Shelby and Joey's close relationship, Cameron sought out Justin to demand some answers. One might think it would be easier to ask Joey, but Cam knew Joey didn't like her and would be useless for information. The way Justin closed himself off when Shelby was around made her even more suspicious of their past relationship.

Cameron waited until they were alone on his bus before she started grilling him.

"Justin we need to talk." Cameron said sitting on the couch across from him.

"What is it Cameron? I was hoping to take a nap." Justin said feeling irritated.

"How is it that Shelby knows you guys so well?" she asked watching him tense up.

"We just do." Justin said making no sense.

"You realize that didn't make sense." Cameron giggled.

"I really don't want to talk about it." Justin growled.

"Come on, I know there is something you aren't telling me. I saw your reaction when she sang that song. I always knew you were still hung up on a girl, but I always assumed it was Britney. You have to be honest with me J, I'm your girlfriend--practically your fiance. I have a right to know."

Justin hated Cameron at that moment. She didn't have a right to know. What happened between him and Shelby was between him and Shelby. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fist trying desperately to calm down.

"What happened between us is none of your business. We dated once, but that's all you need to know."

"Did she cheat on you"" Cameron asked.

"Yes dammit, is that what you wanted to hear? She cheated on me and hurt me. Are you satisfied?" Justin glared at her.

"Why is she here?" Cam asked not caring that he was pissed.

"Hello, she's in our opening act." Justin snapped.

"Are you sure there isn't an ulterior motive for her being here?"

"Leave it alone Cam." Justin sighed.

"How old is her daughter?" Cameron asked.

"I don't know, I don't talk to her." Justin answered.

"Don't you think it's pretty strange that she shows up later with two kids?"

"Cameron just shut the hell up. I don't want to talk about her or anything else related to her."

Justin got up and went to his bunk and lay down. How dare she keep pushing the subject. Cameron didn't understand the pain he felt over Shelby's betrayal. It really irritated him that she kept pushing him for more information. That was something Shelby would never do. Never had she demanded to know what happened between him and Britney. She had simply asked in her quiet subtle way, not demanding in any way.

"Why do I keep thinking about her? UGH. Cam's supposed to keep me distracted, not make me think about her." Justin grumbled rolling out of his bunk.

He made his way back to the lounge area when the bus slowed down and came to a stop.

"The heck?" he mumbled moving to the front of the bus.

"Is there a problem Reg?" Justin asked the driver without looking out the window.

"That's Stan's bus." Reg said pointing to the other bus that had clearly broken down by the smoke rising from the front.

"Who's on there?" Justin asked lookin at the other bus.

"I'll go find out. You wait here and don't come out." Reg said getting out then shut the door behind him for safety reasons.

Justin watched as Reg crossed to the other bus and boarded. He turned around when he heard movement behind him.

"What's going on?" Cameron asked looking out the window.

"That bus broke down. Reg went to go check it out. I'm pretty sure JC was traveling ahead of us, it's probably him." Justin answered.

"Why don't you guys just share buses?" she asked.

"We could have, it was our record company who gave us different buses. Just in case or something." Justin shrugged.

"Do you suppose they'll ride with us til the next stop?"

"Probably, depending on how bad it is." Justin nodded.

"Isn't that her little girl?" Cameron asked nodding to the little girl who sat on the side of the road. She appeared to be leaning down to pick some wild flowers.

Sure enough, Shelby appeared at her side along with Gracie followed by JC and Joey. By the looks of it they were going to jump on Justin's bus; they had their bags with them and Shelby had an arm load of pillows.

"I can't deal with this." Justin groaned punching the drivers seat.

"It'll be okay baby." Cameron said grabbing his hand.

"Let's go to the back." Justin said turning around.

Cameron followed Justin to the back and sat next to him. She kissed him on the cheek then proceeded to kiss him on the mouth. When Justin failed to respond she sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Kiss me." she murmured against his mouth.

Justin felt obligated to grant her request. He kissed her back softly on the lips, feeling a strange sensation of guilt deep in his stomach.

That was the sight Joey was met with as he was the first to board the bus. He looked away disgusted and cleared his throat loudly.

"Please keep it clean, we have children present." Joey said sitting down.

Justin looked toward the front of the bus and Shelby stood there with flushed cheeks, two young charges at her side.

"What happened?" Justin asked turning back to Joey.

"Radiator blew." Joey shrugged.

"Where's the other bus?" he asked.

"My bus is ahead." Shelby answered knowing he didn't want her there.

"I picked you some flowers." Danielle said holding out three of her precious flowers to Justin.

"Thank you." Justin smiled at her.

"You can have one too." Danielle said holding out another one of her delicate blooms to Cameron.

"Thank you sweetie." Cameron said smiling at the little girl.

"What's your name?" Danielle asked Cameron, staring at her with big curious eyes.

"My name is Cameron, what's your name?"

"Danielle-Nicole."

"That's a pretty name. How old are you?"

"Three."

Shelby felt tense as she sat next to Joey. Gracie had settled in JC's lap next to Justin and Danielle was sitting on the floor talking to Cameron.

"How long are you with us?" Shelby asked Cameron trying to be polite.

"I have to be on set in a week." Cameron answered coolly.

"Are you having a good time?"

"Yes thank you."

It was very silent for a few tense minutes. Reg boarded the bus and they were finally on their way. Justin glanced at Shelby and found her looking out the window. She looked deep in thought as she watched the scenery fly by. He couldn't help but wonder how life would be if things hadn't went down the way they did. He watched her for a few more seconds before her phone rang. Her face lit up when she saw the caller and dammit if his stomach didn't flutter.

"Hey Brad."

"Hey sweetie. How are you?" Brad asked.

"I'm good, on tour right now." Shelby answered.

"Awesome, are you on another club tour?" he questioned.

"Actually no, we're on tour with JC and Justin." Shelby answered hesitantly over Justin's name. She glanced at him and found him looking back at her.

"You're on tour with Justin? As in Justin Justin?" Brad asked flabbergasted.

"Yes, the very same." Shelby agreed.

"How's that going?"

"It's been a little stressful, but for the most part the tour has been okay." Shelby answered not really wanting to say much with so many ears around.

"He's there isn't he?" Brad wondered catching on quickly.

"Yeah, that's the truth of it."

"How's the booger?" Brad questioned.

"She's good. She's handing out flowers left and right. Gracie is chilling with Uncle Josh, they love him."

"How is she doing?" Brad asked concerned for the little girl's well being.

"Good, she still cries for her mom, but she's getting better. She's really coming out of her shell."

"That's good to hear, losing a parent so young is never easy."

"Trust me I know. I was only eight when I lost my mom. I'm just glad I was able to take her in. She shouldn't have to get lost in a foster home like I did." Shelby sighed remembering her horrible experience with Alice.

"Did you know Nancy is pregnant?" Brad asked changing the subject.

"Are you serious? How far along is she? Is it Jason's?"

"She's about three months along. Yes it's Jason's, doesn't she tell you these things?"

"I haven't talked to her in a while." Shelby shrugged.

"She's getting along great here, except for the whole pregnancy thing. I'm not sure what they're going to do about that, she's still a ward of the state. So where are you going next?" Brad asked formulating a plan.

"I don't know, we're on the bus right now going to um, Milwaukee. I think we'll be going to the cities next. Minneapolis to be exact."

"Sounds like fun. Listen, I gotta go sweetie, I'm at work. I'll see you later. Love you."

"Love ya too. Bye." Shelby hung up the phone and smiled.

Brad had been there for her ever since she graduated high school. They started off as enemies, but after a few misunderstandings they had become really close.

"Was that Brad?" Joey asked interrupting her thoughts.

"Yeah. Nancy's pregnant." Shelby answered.

"How's he doing? Is he still in North Dakota?" Joey questioned.

"Yeah, I have a feeling he's going to be at our Minneapolis show." Shelby smiled.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Cameron asked.

"No not at al. He's one of my very best friends." Shelby sighed wistfully.

Justin saw the look on her face and knew she was missing Brad. It had been almost four years, but he could still read her like a book. 'Stop it' he chided himself mentally.

Joey watched Justin carefully keep his emotions at bay, but Joey wasn't blind. He knew Shelby's presence affected him deeply.

"I leave that day." Joey remarked.

"I'll miss ya, it's been fun with you around. I get kinda lonely." Shelby sighed.

"Why? There are always people around. You have the girls and of course the band." Joey questioned.

"I have them yes, and I love them to death, but people rarely ask me how I'm doing you know what I mean? There's nobody to take care of me. I'm not trying to sound like a baby or a whiny bitch, but I've just been totally on my own for the nearly the past four years, it's nice to be taken care of for once." Shelby shrugged.

"Touche." Joey nodded unsure of what to say. This conversation as a whole wasn't very appropriate to be having in front of everyone.

"Can we watch a movie?" Gracie asked quietly from JC's lap.

"Sure sweetie, what do you want to watch?" Shelby asked turning her attention to the little girl.

"Little Mermaid!" Danielle interrupted.

"Danielle, honey, I asked Gracie." Shelby said rebuking her daughter gently. "Please apologize to her."

"Sorry." she whispered.

"It's okay. I like Little Mermaid. We can watch that." Gracie smiled at her younger sister.

"Is it okay if I put in a DVD?" Shelby asked Justin after all it was his bus.

"Be my guest. I haven't seen that movie in ages." Justin said somberly then winked at Gracie who smiled shyly in return.

Shelby put in the movie she'd brought from their bus then settled back to watch the movie. She'd seen it at least 100 times so she took out her journal and pen then started writing.

September 13, 2006

Sorry about last time. I wasn't able to really finish that entry. I was accosted by a stage hand then had some unexpected feelings and memories arise of you know who. He plagues my every thought and I can't seem to get away from him. He's everywhere, shit, we're sitting on his bus right now. Of course she's here too. She pisses me off, she always gives me a glare when she thinks no ones looking. I don't give a damn, they deserve each other for all I care. He's being an asshole and that's that.

Nancy's pregnant. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I should be happy for her, but at the same time I'm kind of disappointed in her. She's so young and I don't think she realizes how hard it is to be a single mom, especially at her age. I'll have to talk to her sometime. I'm surrounded by people so I can't right now, but I will. I don't know what's going to happen with her. The system is so messed up, she might get sent to juvy. I'll take her in before i let that happen. I can home school her and she can come with me. I had a 4.0 GPA when I graduated so I would be more than qualified. I guess we'll just have to see what happens.

It would be nice to have another friend on tour. i accidentally told Joey (and everyone else) that I was lonely and that I had no one to take care of me, which of course is true, but I could have waited for a more opportune moment. Everyone heard me and I felt like a heel, but it felt good to get it out. I saw the look on Justin's face. He's so damn confusing sometimes. There are times when he's mad, times when he seems to care, times when he looks tired. I know he hates, me I can deal with it. I can.

Brad is coming to the MN show, I know him too well for him to surprise me. He's such a sweetheart, I wish I could love him. I love him like a big brother, but it has never blossomed past that. Sometimes I think he's in love with me, but he hides it. I have seen a few looks, but who knows I could be imagining things.

This has been a really long entry so i better get going. Can I kill her? She's glaring again.

Shelby set down her journal along with her pen then grabbed her IPOD and turned it on. She lay her head back on the seat behind her then closed her eyes. It was going to be a very long trip.