Welcome to My Life
Chapter 8

September 23, 2007
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Justin sat in front of the piano absentmindedly playing a few chords. The week had been really stressful for everyone on tour. In his own personal life, things weren't so good. Cameron left in a mood, vowing not to speak to him again until he apologized for some stupid remark he made. Over his dead body, she was bein a bitch to his friends.

Brad and Shelby seemed to be there at his every turn. Everywhere he went, it seemed they were there. Brad was always taking care of Shelby and the girls. He bought them little treats, took them to play, things that a daddy would do. His thoughts brought him back to times when he was the one caring for Shelby. Memories of their short relationship seemed to be popping up at the most random of times.

At this particular moment, he flashed back to the day he apologized for being such an asshole to her in the beginning...

Justin gently put his arms around her waist taking care for the cuts he knew were there. He waited until he felt her wrap her arms around his neck. As he tightened his arms and inhaled her scent she melted into his embrace. He couldn't help but notice how right she felt in his arms. Wait! What was he thinking, he was still in love with Britney, right?

"You are beautiful Shelby." He shocked them all including himself.

Shelby felt her face heat with a blush as she looked into his eyes finding nothing there but truth and something else she couldn't identify. "Thank you," she whispered not breaking eye contact.

Justin pulled her close one more time and whispered for her ears alone. "Forgive me for hurting you Shelby. I'm so sorry."

He heard her sharp breath intake and several moments later he felt her nod against his chest. As he felt this he felt a huge burden lifted from his shoulders.

That was before everything happened. Sometimes he wished that his feelings towards her never changed. That he never would have taken that first step and kissed her that night at Disney. Maybe if he hadn't his life wouldn't be so complicated right now. The memories were killing him.

Shelby became very active when the fireworks started. She sat up and practically kneeled as she watched them go off. They were choreographed with music and she felt tears trickle down her face during some parts, she was in awe at the beauty of it all.

Justin grabbed her hand and held it tightly as he watched Shelby rather than the fire works. Shelby stood up not being able to take it any more and Justin stood with her.

Nothing could prepare either Shelby or Justin for what happened next. As if some sort of Disney Magic, the next song was Hero. Justin grabbed her by the waist and held her close. Shelby relaxed in Justin's arms and let him sway them to the music. There was no place she would rather be then right her right now, in her Hero's arms. The man she loved was holding her and she was happy.

Just when Shelby thought it couldn't get any better, Justin started softly singing the song to her, she turned her head to look at him and watched him sing rather than watching the fire works.

The fireworks in the sky weren't the only fire works that were happening at that moment. Shelby and Justin got lost in each others eyes and in the moment. Finally Justin did what he'd been denying himself, he leaned down and softly kissed her. Shelby made a noise in shock, but soon turned to face him and shyly put her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Kissing Justin was like nothing she'd ever imagined. He was her first kiss, her first everything, she loved him and he was kissing her.

Justin pulled back and sang the last line of the song to her softly, "I can be your hero".

Oh how he longed to take it back. Then he wouldn't feel this pain inside of his heart, inside of his soul--his innermost being. It was eating away at him, he hadn't felt like this since it happened. Since the night she broke his heart. He began to play a familiar tune on the piano as he lost himself again in memory...

Would have given up my life for you
Guess it's true what they say about love
It's blind
Girl, you lied straight to my face
Looking in my eyes
And I believed you 'cause I loved you more than life
And all you had to do
Was apologize

Justin was waiting upstairs at her door holding a brown manila envelope. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest a somber look on his face.

"Hey Justin." Shelby said leaning up to kiss him.

Justin pulled away before she could kiss him and tried not to flinch at the look of hurt in her eyes.

"Won't you come in." Shelby moved to unlock the door, mindful of her shaking hands.

Justin followed her in and closed the door behind him. He opened the envelope and got right down to business.

"What the hell is this?" he said holding up a 8x10 photo of Tony kissing her at the restaurant the other night.

Shelby grabbed the picture and her heart fell to her knees. She had no idea what to say, but continued to study the photo.

You didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me, again

"I'm waiting Shelby." Justin said burning his eyes into her skin.

"It's not what you think." Shelby said instantly regretting it.

"That's not what I want to hear Shel. Who the hell is he and why are you kissing him?" Justin demanded.

"He's my neighbor. I didn't kiss him, he kissed me." Shelby answered.

Sadness has me at the end of the line
Helpless watched you break this heart of mine
And loneliness only wants you back here with me
Common sense knows that you're not good enough for me
And all you had to do
Was apologize, and mean it

"Because this shit happened with Britney. She cheated on me Shelby, she CHEATED on me, yet she kept denying it. I finally caught her with another guy with my own eyes before she finally admitted it. I can't go through that again Shelby. I love you so much, but I can't do this any more." Justin explained.

"What are you saying?" Shelby said feeling her heart breaking.

"I'm saying we're over." Justin shook his head.

"You can't be serious. Why?" Shelby asked crying hard by now.

"Because I don't trust you any more Shelby. These pictures are real, and they're convincing. A picture speaks a thousand words." Justin said throwing the pictures at her feet.

But you didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me

Shelby fell to her knees and cried harder. "Please don't leave me."

Justin opened the door and took one last look at the girl who'd stolen his heart and he felt his heart shatter. He was torn between pulling her off the floor and holding her in his arms and leaving her. He chose the latter has he slammed the door on his way out.

It's like hell I could go back in time
Maybe then I could see how
Forgiveness says that I should give you one more try
But it's too late, it's over now

Justin felt the raw emotion pour into his soul as he continued to play the song that spoke his emotions. He was so into it he didn't see the figure walking down the isle toward him, pausing only when it reached the stage.

You didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me
Again

Again, yeah, yeah
Again, again, again, yeah, yeah, yeah
Never get to love me

The last note faded away and Justin inhaled deeply. He had to stop thinking about this as it was making him crazy. He gathered his things and moved to leave when he spotted Shelby standing there. He turned on his heel to leave, but her voice called out for him to stop.

"Stop running away Justin, we need to talk." Shelby demanded, waiting for him to turn around and face her like a man.

"What do you want Shelby? I don't have time for this." Justin asked turning to face her.

"I think it's about time you finally listen to what I have to say." she said finding her voice, refusing to back down.

"What could you possibly have to say that I don't already know?" Justin said rolling his eyes.

"You will sit down and listen to me Justin. I haven't waited four years for this moment just to have you try and dominate like you always do. Sit your ass in that chair and listen to what I have to say." Shelby yelled getting in his face.

Justin sat down in the chair, surprised that she'd actually raised her voice to him. He figured he might as well at least pretend to listen to whatever made up tale she was about to tell.

"You can wipe that smug look off your face. You really piss me off Justin, you're acting like a two year old child. Your own c--mother wouldn't even like you right now." Shelby glared at him, stumbling over the last words as she almost said his own child acted more mature than he is.

"You really need to get your head out of your ass and see that I never cheated on you. I loved you too god damned much. I gave you my virginity, you fucktard."

Justin heard what she had to say, but he didn't actually hear much of it as he was just picking the skin around his fingernails.

When Shelby saw that he wasn't looking at her, she grabbed his face between her fingers and shouted, "Look at me you self-righteous prick!"

Justin had no choice to listen as his face was caught in her iron grip.

"How could you assume that I would even THINK about cheating on you. You were my world--my life." Shelby dropped her hand and moved away, feeling more than pissed off.

Justin scoffed and rolled his eyes. He already knew what happened, or what at least what he thought happened. He did hear what she said, but he didn't really want to hear it. Because what if she said was the truth, what if HE was the one who was wrong. What if HE threw away the best thing that had ever happened to him.

"Are you finished?" he asked.

"No I'm not finished, but you're not even listening are you? You're just being a fucking GUY and ignoring everything I say aren't you?" Shelby glared at him and it pissed her off even more when his expression didn't change at all. He was just ignoring her, mocking her in his silence.

"It doesn't matter what you tell me Shelby, it's not going to change the past. You cheated on me, you knew how hurt I was after Britney broke me, yet you still cheated on me. I can't stand being in the same room with you Shelby, can't you understand that?" Justin said ending on a yell.

"Yes, you you you. It's always about you. Woe is me, woe is Justin. You know what Justin? The world doesn't revolve around you. I'm not going to be one to bend down and kiss your ass. You can believe whatever you want to about me, I can't stop you. But when it all blows up in your face. Don't come crawling back to me."

"I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this Shelby. It's not like you sat at home and missed me after everything happened. You obviously went out and fucked the first guy you found available which was probably your so called best friend Brad, then got knocked up. Who are you kidding Shelby? You may have JC and Joey wrapped around your finger, but I will not be fooled into believing your bullshit again. You may have fooled me once, but I won't buy into it again." Justin said shaking with anger.

"Right. Whatever Justin. What does it matter to you if Brad is Danielle's father? It's none of your damn business. This conversation is obviously not going anywhere. I never cheated on you and that's the truth. If you don't believe me, I guess you never knew me at all and everything--our entire relationship was a fucking lie. Goodbye Justin."

It took all she could to leave with her head held high. She wanted to break things, she wanted go back and punch him in the face, the only thing she knew she could do was go back to her room for a good cry. Pour feelings into a 'hate the world' song. She was on her way back to her hotel room when she ran at full force into Brad who grabbed her by the arms to keep her from falling over.

"Whoa there, sugar, careful." Brad laughed holding her steady in his arms.

"Sorry Brad." she said avoiding his piercing gaze.

"What's the matter?" he asked getting a good look at her red face and shaking form.

"I just had a little run in with Justin." she said moving toward her room again.

"What happened?" Brad asked stopping her.

"Please, Brad, I need to get to my room before I lose it." Shelby said forcing herself to move again.

"Okay, sorry." Brad said picking up the pace so they could get to her room faster.

Once they were there inside Shelby's room she picked up the nearest object it and threw it hard at the wall across from him. It was just the phone book so it didn't do much damage and before she could pick up anything else Brad stopped her.

"Stop. Breaking things isn't going to solve anything." Brad said grabbing her hands to stop her from grabbing anything else.

"Dammit Brad, you should have heard the things he said. They were so hateful, he didn't even wanna hear anything I had to say. All he did was sit there in his self-righteous prickness and smirk at me. I hate him. I HATE HIM!" She yelled before bursting into tears.

Brad wrapped his arms around her and let her cry on him. It hurt him to see her this way, but he knew this was only the first outburst of many to come.

"You're going to be fine Shelby." Brad said comforting her.

"What's wrong with me Brad? What did I ever do to him? Nothing. Not a damn thing. God, why does he have this control over me after all this time. I--"

Shelby was in mid sentence when she felt Brad's mouth upon hers. She hesitated for a moment until she felt his arms around her waist and shoulders drawing her close to a strong chest. She needed this right now and be damned if she was going to think about it.

Brad couldn't believe he was finally kissing Shelby. He deepened the kiss right away and they found themselves laying on the bed Brad on top of Shelby. They weren't thinking, they were just feeling and right not this is what she needed. Let the thinking happen when they came to their sense, but right now the time is theirs.