Chapter 7- Damn Paparazzi

Timberlake is  Love Stoned

September 28, 2007- Singer/Actor, Justin Timberlake, has been seen with a new blonde bombshell during the local Heroes Ball last Saturday. Sources from the ball have reported her as Brooke O'Neil. She is reportedly the sister of law of Melody Miller, fiancé of Timberlake's former bandmate, JC Chasez.  This sight was a new change, seeing as how Timberlake hasn't been seen with another girl after his nasty breakup with Cameron Diaz-

            I shrieked and threw the magazine down on the floor. I couldn't finish reading the damn magazine. I remember going to the grocery store, and seeing me, Brooke O'Neil, on the cover of The Enquirer. I bought it and ran up to my room so fast, to read it.

            How the hell could they know so much about me? Do people really care this much about Justin Timberlake? And why, why, did they make it seem like Justin and I were going out? Eww that thought alone makes me wanna puke. How could Justin put up with it? With all the scrutiny and no anonymity, having people constantly invade his privacy? I had to give him props for that. Maybe...Maybe that's why he doesn't take any shit from anybody...the modest part of him just died after he stayed in the limelight for so long...

            "Brooke is everything all right?" Melody asked, interrupting my thoughts.

            "Oh...um..." I looked down on the floor and my eyes wondered to the magazine.

            Melody's curiosity made her pick up the tabloid, and her eyes grew huge as her eyes scanned the article. "Oh my god Brooke... I had  no idea." She whispered.

            "I know...it's like they know everything about me..." I grunted.

            "Yeah I know how you feel. Same thing happened when me and JC got engaged." She shook her head. "It's sad. Everyone thinks just because we are dating celebrities-"

            "Justin and I are not dating." I corrected.

            "Well, if we have anything to do with a celebrity, people think they have the right to know your business. When they don't have any right at all. I mean we are just normal people trying to live our lives." She admitted.

            Yeah. Normal. Except your fiancé is extremely hot, and has an amazing voice, and is known throughout the world  I thought.

            "And..." Melody continued. "You better get prepared, because when you and Justin start dating-"

            "Again, we are not dating, and we will not start dating." I interrupted.

            "Right. Sorry. I was just going to say um... hypothetically if you were starting to date him, people will get jealous." She acknowledged.

            "Jealous? Of me? Hah!" I snorted.

            "Oh you'd be surprised Brooke. People are always criticizing me and JC... I guess they think that just because he's a celebrity and is so beautiful, I should be, too. But, no I'm just plain Melody." Her eyes lowered.

            "You're... uh... beautiful Mel." I reassured her the best I could.

            "Not compared to other celebrities. You don't hear what the fans say." She shook her head once again, but more vigorously.

            "Fans? Aren't they supposed to be supportive of you?" I asked, hugging a pillow close by.

            "Hah! No, the fans are the worst critics. They think they know about JC, when in fact they don't know him at all. They think I'm not good enough. One time," her voice lowered, "One time a fan called me an ugly bitch right to my face."

            I gasped. "No way! What did JC say?"

            "Nothing."

            "What?" I asked, confused.

            "I didn't tell him." She told me.

            "Well, why not?" This chick is crazy.

            "Because.... I guess I don't want him to view his fans any different. You know what I mean? I just...I dunno." She sighed and looked out the window. "Mail's here, I might as well get it." Melody rose up from next to me and wandered downstairs.

            Melody. I never realized how much shit she has to go through. And...I'm like one of those crazy fans of JC. I want him, but do I really? Do I want to marry him? Yes of course I do. I love JC. I love him. But why do I have to constantly remind myself that I do?

            ~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~

            That night during dinner, Melody announced that JC wrote her a letter, which kinda wierded me out since... I mean who writes letters nowadays? I mean why doesn't he just email her or call her? But when I asked Melody, she said that he can express himself better when he has a pen in hand. I guess that's what you get for being engaged to a songwriter.

            I wanted to know what was in that damn letter. Sure, Melody would read some parts aloud, but most of the time she was silent as she read the letter. And curiosity got the best of me. What with their wedding coming up in two months, I wanted to know what he had to say. Because I know he doesn't love Melody. I know he doesn't.

            So, as soon as she went off to bed, I wondered over to the stack of mail, and carefully took out the letter from the envelope. JC's small handwriting seemed to have leaped off the paper.

            Dear Mel,

            Remember when we talked on the phone last week?

            Hah I remember. They were on the phone for two fucking hours.

            Well, you asked me how I was, and I responded fine. But you know me better than that Mel. I can't keep a secret from you. So I guess that's why I'm writing a letter, you know how I express myself better on paper then in words (which really isn't good, huh?)

            I slowly put down the paper, what if... what if he's admitting that he finally loves me? I excitedly turned my attention toward the sheet.

            I mostly didn't tell you because, well I didn't want to put this burden on your shoulders. But, I can't keep anything from you, you know me too well. Don't worry, I'm not sick or nothing like that. The tour is doing well and tickets are selling fast. But Mel, heavy thoughts lie on my heart. And... I need to get this off my chest.

            This is it. This has to be it.

            Most summer nights I lie awake, while everybody is asleep. And I look up at the stars and wonder, "Why are you here JC? What's your purpose?"

            My heart sunk. This isn't what I was expecting. Nonetheless, I read on.

            Not for money or fame, certainly. What a dirty business I do, Mel. A dog eat dog world.

            Didn't Justin say that? Damn that Timberlake influencing JC.

            I feel as if I'm some sort of trained animal, and everybody wants to get a chance to pet me, and have a piece of me. Yet, here I am in concerts, acting like this huge performer, when really I'm just your normal guy, ya know? It's like... the music isn't in my heart anymore. Mel, it's just I'm pretending to be someone I'm not. It's as if I lost myself in this business and I don't know who I am anymore. Sure, I put on a smile and a happy face, but it's so fake, and I never have any real smiles unless I'm around you Mel. (Hey do I get points for that one? haha just kidding.)

            Well anyway, as I lie on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, and wonder, "Why do you still go on JC? Why don't you just retire?" But then, I think of the fans. My loyal fans who stayed with me through all my life; through MMC, NSYNC, to my solo career. And  I remember when I was little I would always dream of being famous, singing day in and out just because it was fun. But Mel...I always wonder... if I weren't famous, would I be happier? 

            And then I wonder, do the guys feel the same way? I could only imagine what Justin goes through (Cause he's the hottest guy in the group, haha) But really, the paparazzi seems to always target him. Even...even if me and Justin had our disagreements in the past, I have to give him mad props. Because he goes through probably more than all four of us combined. And... I'm so proud of him. What people don't get about Justin Timberlake, is that he is a nice person. Deep down inside. He built a barrier around himself because he won't allow people to get too close, because most people betray him in the end.  That's what the paparazzi can do to you. But, even if he has hateful words, he's still a good guy. Once you get past that hard exterior, you'll find he soft. (Like an M&M! haha) I think I'm just worried I'll turn into that, Mel. I don't want that to happen...

            Well I guess I'll talk to you later, Mel. Lonnie is telling me to shut the fucking light off, and if I don't, he says "I'll kick your ass so hard, that I'll slap the  chap off your lips!" Gotta love that Lonnie.

            I carefully folded up the letter, and thrust it back in the envelope. JC makes no sense. He must've been tired when he wrote this. Because... how can somebody who makes so much money, be so miserable? That didn't make sense to me...

            But it made me think, is Justin really the way JC describes him? Maybe...Justin... he's a good guy. Why, if I get to know him, he might be caring-

Wait...why the hell do I care about Justin?

I love JC.

Right?