7. You Threw Off My Groove

“Is that her?” Sean asked as he watched Miriam and Justin approach. It was sort of a stupid question, but it was all he could think to say upon seeing the daughter he'd only ever seen in pictures.

“No, that's just some random kid who has your eyes and my nose,” Kali replied sarcastically. “Yes, of course that's her.”

“Some things never change,” he commented, smiling at her sideways. Kali had always had that sarcastic streak in her and he was glad to see it hadn't gone anywhere. It somehow made him feel more comfortable.

Kali ignored the comment in favor of greeting her daughter. “Hey, how was the dance?” she asked with a grin.

“Fun,” Miriam replied. When she and Justin had begun the trip back home, she'd been excited to tell her mom all about her night – the food, the music, the compliments she'd gotten on her dress – but now all the details had completely escaped her and she could do nothing but stare at the man standing next to her mother.

“Good, good.” Kali did not fail to notice the way her daughter's eyes were glued to her father, and so she moved to introduce them, as awkward as it felt to her. “Uh, Miriam, there's someone I want you to meet. This...is your dad. Sean, this is Miriam.”

Miriam nodded, but found herself completely unable to speak. She had dreamed of this moment so many times, imagined what she would say to her father if she ever finally met him, but now that he was standing in front of her, she had no idea what to say or how to feel. She couldn't even bring herself to open her mouth, it was like she was paralyzed.

“Hey, there,” Sean greeted his daughter, smiling warmly at her. “I'm so glad to finally meet you.”

“This is Justin,” Miriam finally found herself able to respond, and this was all she could think to say. She reached behind her to grab Justin's hand and pull him forward. It probably wasn't the most normal reaction, but she needed familiarity.

“Uh, hi.” Justin shook hands with Sean awkwardly. It had never occurred to him that he might someday meet Miriam's father, and he wasn't exactly sure how to react. Part of him kind of hated the guy, but no one else seemed to be reacting negatively towards him, so he figured he should probably keep that to himself.

“Hi,” Sean replied with a frown. This was followed by an awkward silence, as all three adults just stood looking at one another, and Miriam stared at her feet to avoid looking at any of them.

“Uh, Miri, your dad is living in LA now,” Kali broke the silence to explain to her daughter. “Isn't that nice?”

“I guess.”

“Yeah, I was hoping since we're finally living in the same town you and I might be able to get to know each other,” Sean told her. “I was kind of thinking we could maybe start tonight. Do you like ice cream?”

“No,” Miriam heard herself say. It was a ridiculous response to a ridiculous question – of course Kalani Colobong's daughter liked ice cream. “I mean...yeah. But, I don't want to go get it with you tonight.”

“Oh.” This was not the response that Sean had expected. It had taken all of his courage for him to come over to see his daughter, and it hadn't actually occurred to him that she might not want to spend time with him. He offered her a sad smile. “Okay, well...maybe some other time or something.”

Kali and Justin were both mildly shocked by Miriam's response to her father's invitation as well. Kali especially, having fielded many questions about said father in the past 13 years, would have thought her daughter would jump at the chance to spend some time with Sean. They both just watched silently as Sean walked down the steps of the front porch and towards his car, shoulders slumped significantly. Kali couldn't remember ever seeing him look defeated like that.

“Do you want to know why I don't want to go with you?” Miriam's small but powerful voice stopped him. Sean turned back around to look at her, so she continued. “Because...I was having a pretty good night, okay? I had fun, and I felt good about my life, and I didn't feel like it was such a bad thing that I didn't have a dad. And you never call me, and you never even send me birthday cards, and you make me feel like there's something wrong with me and...why would I want to go get ice cream with someone like that, right? And if I did, I would have to sit there and wonder why you didn't want to get ice cream with me before now and I'd feel bad and...why would I want to feel bad again?”

It was Sean's turn to find himself unable to do anything but nod. Apparently the inability to speak was genetic, and as he noticed a few tears beginning to roll down his daughter's cheeks, he was experiencing it even more strongly than she had. He knew he should say something, give her some explanation for his absence in her life, but nothing came.

“Miri,” Kali began softly, but her daughter merely shook her head and ran down the stairs towards their house. It only took a few minutes of silence between the three adults for Kali to follow her.

“I'm gonna go talk to her. Don't go anywhere,” she ordered Sean, and then disappeared just as Miriam had.

So Justin and Sean were left alone together in front of the house, both realizing that they were now required to speak to one another, and neither particularly keen on the idea. Justin was the first to make an effort.

“Do you want something to drink?” He gestured towards the house.

“Um...yeah. Sure, that would be good,” Sean accepted, taking a few long strides back towards the porch. It didn't take long, as his legs were at least as long as Justin's, maybe even more so.

The two men filed silently into the house, and didn't speak again until they were settled in the living room with two ice cold beers from Justin's refrigerator. Sean remained standing as Justin sat down on his most comfortable recliner.

“So, where were you guys?” Sean asked.

“Uh, father-daughter dance.” Justin reached around to scratch the back of his neck if for no other reason than to give himself something to do other than sipping his beer and sitting awkwardly.

“Oh, are you and Kali...?”

“No. No, no. Uh...Kali works for me. You know, cleans and stuff, and...well, no. Miri just really wanted to go and didn't have anyone to go with, so I filled in.” He tried to avoid sounding judgmental, but it was hard to do considering that he was speaking to reason that Miriam had no one to go with.

“Right.” Sean nodded, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. “You probably think I'm a complete asshole, right?”

Justin shrugged in lieu of just yelling in the affirmative. “I don't know you.”

“Yeah, but I know what you probably think. I'm a deadbeat dad who doesn't give a rat's ass about his daughter, right?”

“Sure looks that way.”

“Well, I mean, I was 18 and stupid. I didn't want to be tied down or deal with the consequences of my mistakes, so I just left. I'm not proud of what I did, but it is it what it is.”

“You haven't been 18 for a long time,” Justin pointed out, a hint of bitterness finding its way into his voice. He couldn't help it, especially after seeing the look at Miriam's face upon encountering the man who had abandoned her for 13 years. He had to be a little indignant on her behalf.

“I know. Which is why I'm here now,” Sean explained.

“No, you're here now because it's convenient,” Justin muttered under his breath as he took another sip of his beer.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” He shook his head. “Look man, it's none of my business, okay? I'm just the boss.”

Justin had never been as glad to see Kali as he was when she walked in the door at that moment, interrupting the forced and tension filled conversation that he was having with the father of her daughter. He could only stay civil for so long, and her presence would probably make it easier.

“She'll talk to you now,” Kali informed Sean with a weary sigh. She collapsed onto the couch next to the recliner Justin was sitting on. “Go through the kitchen to the backyard and you'll see our house. She's sitting in the living room.”

“Okay, good.” He set his half finished beer down on the mantel above the fire place. “Thanks, Kal.”

“Fine,” she responded shortly. “Just don't be an asshole, okay? I'm going to kick your ass if you upset her anymore.”

“Got it.” And with that, he was gone.

Kali sighed again and closed her eyes, resting her head on her right hand. She was feeling more than a little drained, both physically and emotionally, and it was really starting to get to her.

“Some day, huh?” Justin commented with a small smile.

“Yeah,” Kali agreed. She opened her eyes to look and him and spotted the beer in his hands. “Oh my God, can I have one?”

“Course.” He set his down on the coffee table and stood up. “Stay where you are, I'll go get it for you.”

“You're my favorite.”

* * *

Okay, so when I was a kid, I fully believed about 95% of what I read in books. Even if they were clearly complete fiction, I had this strange tendency to feel that even if it was fantasy and I knew it was fantasy, there was a pretty good chance that it could happen. Like Harry Potter for instance – in the books, muggles didn't know about wizards, right? So, if I was a muggle and I didn't know about wizards, it stood to reason that wizards could in fact exist. I know, I know, it's ridiculous, but this was how my young brain worked.

Another example of this complete ridiculousness of my brain is the time when I was convinced that our house was haunted. I had just finished reading about book about all these haunted places in New England – not fiction, by the way – and so it was on my mind. My mom was gone for the night, out with friends or something, and it was thunder storming outside. I was in my preteens, so she didn't really bother getting me a babysitter anymore, so long as Justin was home, as he was that night. So I was alone in our house, thunder and lightning were filling the sky like it was their job, and suddenly all the lights went out. Total power outage. I freaked. Like...totally freaked. There was screaming, flailing, you name it, I did it. And then I was sure I heard voices in the next room and I finally had no choice but to dash out of the house, into the rain, and over to the main house.

It was late, like maybe 2 am or something, so Justin was already asleep. I think he had a slew of interviews the next day and so he needed his beauty rest. But upon discovering that none of the lights in house worked either, I found myself feeling my way up the stairs and down the hall to what I was pretty sure was his room. And I started pounding on the door like there was no tomorrow. It was a good five minutes before I managed to wake Justin and he answered the door, blurry eyed and groggy.

“What is it?” he asked with a yawn.

“The power's out,” I whined, dripping water all over his expensive carpet.

“I'm sorry to hear that.”

“I read that sometimes ghosts can knock the power out and I heard voices and our house is definitely haunted and I can't sleep in there!”

“Okay, gullible girl, you can sleep in the room next door. Good night.” He went to shut the door, but I wasn't having any of that. I stopped it with my hand and pushed my way into his room.

“Unacceptable!” I exclaimed. “I have to sleep in here!”

“Miri,” Justin groaned with frustration. “You can't sleep in here, that's totally inappropriate.”

“I can't sleep alone!” I repeated, though this time it was more of a shriek than a mere exclamation. I felt around in the dark until I found his arm to cling to. “Please, Justin? Please?”

He mumbled something to himself, but all I could make out was a distinct, “urgh,” at the end of the mumblings and then finally a, “Fine. I'll take the couch.”

“Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” I perked up immediately and bounced over to where I knew his king sized bed was located. Hopping under the covers while he settled on the couch on the other side of the room, I immediately felt far more safe than I had alone in my own room.

That is, I felt far more safe until a silence fell in the room and I again became sure that every noise and creak was something from “the other side” out to get me.

“Did you hear that?” I whispered.

“No. Go to sleep.”

“I heard something!”

“Yeah, it's called thunder. Sleep!”

“'Kay.”

...

“Justin?”

“What, Miri?”

“I'm like 75% sure that this house is haunted.”

“Why don't you focus on the 25% and go to sleep, okay?”

“I can't!”

“Miriam!”

“Okay, okay, I'll try!”

...

“Justin?”

“How good at you are breathing through your nose?”

“What?”

“Nothing, I'm just trying to decide whether I can duct tape your mouth shut without suffocating you.”

“You can't, my nose is kind of stuffed up. But I have a question.”

“Fine.” I heard him sigh in frustration. “But then you really have to go to sleep.”

“'Kay. So...you're single right?”

“What?”

“You broke up with Theresa, right? So you don't have a girlfriend.”

“Yeah...”

“Do you want a new one?”

“What?”

“Well, I was just thinking, you know? You like my mom right? And she likes you, and she doesn't have a man, so you guys could date.”

“What?”

His exasperation was building. I could feel it, but I didn't let it deter me. Since I'd eavesdropped on Mom's conversation with Lynn, I had decided that my mother and Justin were the perfect match. And this seemed like the perfect opportunity to set my plan in motion. I'd seen movies about this sort of thing. It was bound to work.

“You like her, right? Don't you think she's pretty?”

“I'm not going to have this conversation with you, Miriam.”

“She's hot, right?”

“Goodnight, Miri.”

“Why can't you just answer the question?”

“Goodnight!”

* * *

Miriam sat and stared at the pile of used Kleenex that now sat on the coffee table in front of her. Her tears were finally dried for good, but it had taken a good amount of coaxing from her mother to get them all out and to finally convince her to speak to her father. It wasn't that she didn't want to see him, so much as she wasn't sure she could handle it. In all her daydreams about his eventual appearance in her life, she had not been prepared for the wave of emotions that would overcome her when he finally did show up. It wasn't particularly enjoyable.

But leave it to Kali to find a way to convince Miriam to do something. She wasn't entirely sure that she wanted her daughter around Sean that much anyway, but for some reason she felt that they had to at least give him a chance, and so she had held Miriam while she cried, listened to her say how much she hated Sean, and helped her work through it in a record amount of time.

The door finally opened and the man with her eyes walked through it, looking almost as uncertain as Miriam felt. He smiled tentatively and shoved his hands in his pocket, standing just inside the door rather than walking over to sit next to her. “Hey.”

“Hi.”

“Uhhh...can I sit down?”

“I guess.” Miriam directed her gaze to her hands, a safe place to look, as he sat down next to her. She decided not to look at him until she felt like she had something to say to him. She wasn't exactly sure when that would be.

“So, I know I'm a shitty dad,” Sean began with a half hearted laugh. “And I get why I you didn't want to go with me. I guess I'd feel the same way, but...I'm really sorry, Miriam. Really, really sorry. I've made some bad decisions in my life, and not being a part of yours was probably the worst. But I'd like to try and fix it now, if you'll forgive me. We don't have to be buddies right away, but I'd love it if you'd at least give me a chance. Do you think you can do that?”

She sighed, twisting the ring on her right index finger around and around as she considered what he'd just said. It sounded sincere, and much like what she'd often dreamed of hearing from him. She was glad that some part of this experience finally felt kind of right.

“You're not supposed to say shitty to your kids, just so you know,” she informed him by way of response. Sean laughed.

“Just like your mom,” he commented, ruffling her hair affectionately the way Justin always did.