I tapped my fingers against the hard, cool surface of the desk. They were long and impatient taps, angry and demanding. My fingers danced along the desk, gracefully with spontaneity. At that moment, I truly believed that I would scream out and rip my hair out from my head. But I couldn’t do that because I was in a public area and I really didn’t want to look like a psycho who should be locked away in a mental institution. Why you ask am I tapping violently against this disgusting desk, (where I do believe there are at least twenty or so used chewing gums sticking under the table)? I will tell you in just a moment.

            I hate talking on the phone. I always have and in most probability I always will. It was something I always tried to avoid. Ever since I was a little girl, I had always dreaded the ringing of the phone… hoping that the caller didn’t ask for me. If the phone rang, I most assuredly would be far away from it. I never know what to say to the person on the other end, especially if it was someone “important,” who I’ve never met before. After the routine small talk of asking how the other person is and crap, there would be always an uncomfortable deadening silence seeming to pierce through the ears. And the only times where I would be at least semi-comfortable with speaking to someone over the phone would be if I was talking to a family member or a very close friend. I guess it always felt awkward talking to person without seeing any of their facial expressions. It’s irritating and annoying.

            I would love to say that, on the other hand, I’m great with people I’m with them face to face. But I can’t say that. It’s not as horrible, but I’m still not the greatest. I always feel shy and uneasy. Seeing how my people-skill is very painful to watch, it’s even horrible for me, because I’m the one who has to live with it. Sure I make those jokes here and there, but after the customary meet and greet, it’s back to my uneasy and introverted self. I seem to get very closed off and very quite.  I really do hate that about myself.

            But when I’m with my closest friends, it seems like I’m a completely different person. I become sarcastic, loud, and even almost wild. I become humorous and I love to laugh and make jokes around them. I sigh at myself. When my friends tell people about this side of me, they shake their heads with disbelief and almost deny that fact. They can’t get over my reserved nature and shy attitude during the first few meetings. I guess my traits really don’t scream out my fun side and perhaps that’s why I can’t make new friends as some people can do it so easily. Who am I kidding? That side of my personality is stopping me from making new friends.  

            But I digress. Back to the original question I was trying to answer. I am sitting down in, what I may point out, a very hard and uncomfortable chair, tapping away my fingers, doing what you may presume? Yes, you may have guess it already… But I am on the phone right now. And I am not a very happy person. And what’s even more frustrating is that the damn person I’m trying to get a hold of isn’t picking up the freakin’ phone. My boss will not be very happy about this. It’s pretty pathetic if you actually think about it. Here I am, working as a secretary where one of my responsibilities is to use the phone, and it’s something I pretty much tried to escape ever since I could remember. I can’t believe how sad my life is. Unfortunately, I had to take this job, since my English degree didn’t do crap for me, and how else am I going to pay the rent that I’m sharing with my roommate? I sighed another sigh as I saw my boss coming towards. He probably wants to see if I got a hold of the bastard.

            “Dina, did you get a hold of him, yet. And please say yes.” I saw the tension in his eyes, and the urgency in his voice. It seem that he was getting impatient as I was. I was sorry to crush his heart with my news, or lack thereof.

            “No, Mr. Wright, ugh, I mean Johnny. He doesn’t seem to see the importance of picking up as of yet. Sorry I’m doing the best that I could.” I apologized.

            “It’s not your fault. He better pick up that phone, or his scrawny is mine. That boy is probably screening these calls at this moment.” Johnny muttered.

            I chuckled. I felt sorry for Johnny. I could see how hectic his schedule really was, as I’ve been working with his schedules for weeks now. I didn’t know how he’s been managing to do all the things that he has been doing. I would have been dead tired. 

            “Anyway, try a couple more times, and if you can’t, than the brat a message. And remind him that I’m gonna kill him when I see him next. And seeing him next better be soon. I can’t believe how he “cleverly” forgot to give me his new cell phone number. That little brat.” Johnny mumbled.

Before he walked of, he seemed to remember something else he needed. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot... after you’re done with this, come see me in the office.” He sighed. “We need to review my unfortunate schedule and see if everythings’s good to go or not. Oh, and I need to speak to you about something, too.” He laughed when he saw the worry in my eyes. “Don’t worry it’s not a bad thing, at least I hope it isn’t.” He said as he started towards his office.

I wonder what he wants to talk about. I shrug it off and decide not to think about it. Then I resume back to what I have been previously have been doing, as I start to tap away and think of doing horrible acts against this person I’ve been trying to get a hold of. I smile cynically as I imagine my hands around his neck, and his strangled yelp for help. Oh yeah, that would be way more fun that doing this.