Contains the song “More Than That” as performed by the Backstreet Boys 

“Hello?”

The feminine voice carried over the line, making her flinch as it pierced her heart.

“Hello?”

The voice came again, light with laughter, not caring that it was ripping her world apart.

She flipped the phone closed, blinking rapidly to keep the tears from streaming down her cheeks.

Taking deep breaths, she stared out the window, her eyes focusing on the beginnings of a gorgeous sunset highlighting the New York skyline.

Despite the mantra, she lost it, hurling the phone across the room, cringing when it smashed against the wall.

Her fingers fisted in the hotel bedspread and she looked around for a moment before getting up, moving quickly into the hallway.

She knew that she’d allowed it to go on for too long, that she needed to separate herself from him once and for all.

But even with that knowledge, she still managed to let him hurt her.

Time after time, she’d let him rip her world apart.

And each time, she really only had one person to turn to.

Hurrying around the corner, she studied the room numbers, finally coming to a stop at the fifth door.

She looked around, making sure no one was in the hallway before she knocked.

A male voice carried around the interior of the room, moving closer to the other side of the smooth wood.

She took a deep breath, trying to focus when she heard the doorknob begin to turn.

The door was pulled open and she bit her lip when she saw him standing there, cell phone to his ear.

“Joey . . .”  Her voice cracked when she tried to speak, forcing her to stop.

His eyes moved over her, widening as he took in her slumped shoulders, trembling lips and defeated expression.

“Listen, Steve . . . I’ll call you back later.”  He listened for a minute.  “No . . . no, everything’s all right.  I’ve just got something here I need to take care of.”  He sighed.  “Yes.  You know very well that I don’t care.  Whatever, man.  Bye.”

He flipped the phone shut, his gaze zeroing in on her face.

“Are you okay?”

“No, I . . . I don’t think so.”  She swallowed hard, attempting to control her quavering voice.  “He . . . he’s doing it again, Joe.  Again.”

“Holy . . . come here.”  He reached out, pulling her to him in a hug.  “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”  One tear escaped, rolling down her cheek until it seeped into the fabric of his shirt.  “She answered the phone.”

“Leah . . . this has to stop.”  His arms tightened around her and he stepped back, pulling her into the room.  “You can’t just let him walk all over you like this.” 

“I know.  I know.”  Her fingers fisted in his shirt as the door closed, her breath hitching as she fought back the tears.  “I just . . . I don’t know why I can’t let him go.”  She leaned back, her watery green eyes meeting his.  “Why can’t I let it go, Joe?”

“Because you love him.”  He gave her a small smile.  “It’s that simple.”

“But he doesn’t love me.  I know that.”  She let out a sob.  “You’d think that Matt Kinsey was a god, the way I let him treat me.  But I just don’t know how to stop it.”  Her arms came up to loop around his neck as she buried her face in his shoulder.  “How do I stop it?”

“I don’t really know what to tell you, sweetie.”  He sighed, resting his chin against the side of her head.  “All I know is that this shouldn’t be happening.  And that it’s far from easy.”

A soft, humorless chuckle escaped, almost immediately becoming lost in his shoulder.  “Come on . . . you’re Joey Fatone.”  She sniffled.  “How would you know how hard it is?”

His eyes narrowed as they stayed focused on the wall.  “Trust me . . . I know all about it.”  One of his hands came up, his fingers tangling in her brown hair.  “Nobody is immune to this kind of pain, Leah.  It happens to all of us.”

“But I just want it to go away.  I want him to vanish and take all the hurting with him.”

“You can’t make him disappear, honey.”

She began to tremble in his arms and he knew she was finally letting it go. 

“Forget him, then.  Let him rot.  I just want rid of the pain.  I can’t take the hurting anymore.”  Her arms tightened around his neck.  “It . . . it’s killing me, Joey.  He’s killing me.”  Her last sentence was broken by sobs as she lost the battle, clinging desperately to him as she let the tears flow.

He held his breath, trying valiantly to keep her at an emotional distance, to not let her cries get to him . . . but in the end, he failed miserably.

As always.

Very carefully, he lifted her into his arms, carrying her over to the bed, where he lowered both of them onto the soft comforter.

She curled into him, too lost in her pain and confusion to see the torture she was putting him through.

His right hand moved comfortingly over her back, the fingers of his left still buried in her hair, as he began to speak quietly to her, soft words designed to calm her down.

By the time she’d relaxed her hold on him, having fallen into the beginnings of sleep, the room was cast in red light from the setting sun.

He shifted, slowly rolling her onto her back and gently lowering her head to the pillow, removing her arms from around his neck.

Making sure to keep a considerable amount of space between them, he stretched out next to her, propping his head in his hand so that he could study her.

Her brow furrowed and she twisted slightly, an uneasy expression marring her features.

The words echoed through his mind, a memory from some time ago, and he chewed on his lip before deciding that it was worth a try.  Leaning forward, he moved closer to her, taking a deep breath before starting to sing softly.

I can see that you’ve been crying
You can’t hide it with a lie
What’s the use in you denying
That what you have is wrong?

The worry lines disappeared at the sound of his voice, her features relaxing into a smooth mask. 

His hand moved up, his fingers combing through her hair as she slept, a smile coming to his face when she sighed peacefully, rolling so that she was lying on her side, facing him. 

Shaking his head, he marveled over how beautiful she was – tear stained cheeks and all. 

Images of her smiling face, echoes of her light-hearted laughter, memories of hugs and kisses on the cheek . . . they all flashed through his mind as he listened to her breathing grow deeper, testament to the deep sleep that she’d fallen into. 

He thought of all the times she’d come to him, broken up over whatever it was that her scumbag of a boyfriend was putting her through. 

All that hurt, all that disappointment. 

And still she kept running back to him. 

Completely oblivious to what was right in front of her. 

Chocolate brown eyes narrowed, his hand fisting in the comforter as he continued with the song. 

I heard him promise you forever
But forever’s come and gone
Baby, he would say whatever
It takes to keep you blind
To the truth between the lies 

His eyes moved over her features, her peaceful expression giving him the courage to sing just a little bit louder. 

She was so far gone, she’d never know what he was saying . . . but he’d feel better knowing that it had been said in her presence. 

He didn’t think he’d ever have the guts to admit it otherwise. 

Those green eyes of hers could make a guy second guess everything, make those nerves lose all control. 

Whenever she looked at him, whenever she smiled his way, whenever he was around her . . . he just wanted to lose himself in the comfort of her presence. 

He wanted to hold her close and never let her go. 

But at the same time, he wanted to shake her, to yell at her, to make her see that she didn’t need to look anywhere else because he was right here. 

Loving her. 

In the end, he did none of those things. 

Instead, he put up a good front, kept the smile in place and tried to focus on being like a brother to her. 

He was successful in being the type of friend that she so desperately needed. 

A friend.  Nothing more. 

He knew with certainty that there would never be anything more than friendship. 

So, he took advantage of this time with her, finally able to say what he needed to say . . . even if it didn’t make a bit of difference. 

Baby, you deserve much better
What’s the use in holding on?
Don’t you see it’s now or never
’Cause I just can’t be friends
Baby, knowing in the end that 

There’s not a day that passes by
I don’t wonder why we haven’t tried
It’s not too late to change your mind
So take my hand, don’t say goodbye 

His hand released the comforter, moving over to cover the hand she’d rested on the pillow. 

He smiled, considering how his fingers would fit perfectly with hers. 

His eyes moved down, taking in the whole picture. 

She was so small compared to him, appearing so fragile in the middle of the bed. 

Such a small body, but her heart was so large, caring and loving at the drop of a hat, so easily broken and bruised. 

His gaze moved over the faint traces of her tears and he had to fight down the anger surging through him. 

She didn’t need a jerk like Kinsey. 

Men like him could only poison, crushing women on their path to the top. 

What she needed was a man who would take care of her, protect her. 

A man who would respect her, cherish her.  Love her. 

A man like himself. 

But he knew that it wasn’t possible, that she’d never see her ‘good buddy Joey’ in that way. 

And it killed him more than she would ever know. 

I will love you more than that
I won't say the words
Then take them back
Don’t give loneliness a chance
Baby, listen to me when I say
I will love you more than that 

She sighed again, her lips twitching with whatever dream she was lost in. 

He lifted his hand from hers, allowing his fingers to trace the curve of her cheek, pushing a few stray hairs out of her face. 

She turned her head, moving so that his hand cupped the side of her face. 

His thumb stretched to move lightly over her lips, testing their softness, and he found himself unable to tear his eyes away from her. 

For just a moment, he let himself imagine that she was his, that the hugs and laughter meant something more to her. 

That he wasn’t alone and longing for her. 

But she wasn’t his and he did long for her. 

He swallowed hard, choking back the misery that was rising in the back of his throat. 

Then he leaned down, pressing a kiss to her forehead, his lips moving against her skin as he whispered.  “I’m right here, Leah.  I’ve been here since the beginning.  What I wouldn’t give for you to see me . . .” 

Cutting his thought short, he forced himself away from her and off the bed, walking across the room to pick up his cell phone from the dresser before heading for the sliding glass doors leading out to the balcony. 

His reflection glared back at him in the glass before he allowed his eyes to trail over her and around the room, finally coming down to rest on the phone in his hand. 

The conversation from earlier rang in his ears. 

“I’ve just got something here I need to take care of.” 

There was a pause, then Steve’s voice carried over the line.  “It’s Leah, isn’t it?” 

A sigh escaped.  “Yes.” 

“Joe, don’t go there.  As long as you act like a welcome mat, she’s going to take full advantage of you.” 

“You know very well that I don’t care.” 

“Be careful.  Don’t get in any deeper when you know it won’t go anywhere.” 

“Whatever, man.  Bye.” 

She shifted on the bed, the sound drawing his gaze up to watch her curl into herself, hugging his pillow to her chest. 

He sighed, shaking his head as he slid the door open and stepped outside, leaving the door open a crack so that he could hear if she woke up. 

****************************** 

As soon as he was on the balcony, she allowed her eyes to drift open. 

Surely that had been a dream.  She couldn’t have heard what she thought she’d heard. 

I will love you more than that 

The words of his song seemed to ricochet around the room, forcing her to acknowledge them. 

His words.  To her. 

Granted, he’d thought she was sleeping at the time, but he’d still said it.  Or sang it.  Whichever, it really didn’t matter. 

He’d touched her face and her hand, leaving behind tingling places on her skin. 

Her hand came up, her fingers lightly touching her lips as if testing the prickly sensation she still felt there. 

She looked down, taking in the rumpled comforter, the place where he’d been lying just a minute earlier. 

And she knew without a doubt that she had to be the blindest woman on the planet. 

How had she missed this?  How could she possibly have missed him? 

She could feel the stinging of tears forming again and breathed deeply, attempting to calm herself, taking in a deep breath of him.  The familiar mix of his cologne, soap and shampoo escaped from the pillowcase, filling her senses. 

The smell was comforting, and she could feel herself beginning to relax as she breathed it in again. 

Over and over again, she’d run to him.  For anything.  Whether she was feeling hurt, scared, confused, or happy . . . she’d known exactly where to go.   

If she just needed a laugh, or if she needed a shoulder to cry on, he was there. 

When it had seemed that her entire world was falling apart around her, he had opened his arms to her, held her until the tears were gone. 

She’d just never thought that he was doing it out of anything more than friendship. 

He’d never said anything, never made a move.  He’d just been there. 

“Trust me . . . I know all about it.  Nobody is immune to this kind of pain, Leah.  It happens to all of us.” 

His words flowed through her mind, making her breath catch in her throat. 

She had hurt him. 

It didn’t matter that she hadn’t had a clue. 

She’d hurt him.  Just like Matt had been hurting her. 

That thought alone was enough to make her want to crawl at his feet and beg for forgiveness. 

In the end, she was no better than Matt Kinsey. 

The only difference between Matt and herself was that he had known exactly what he was doing to her, while she’d been in the dark. 

“I’m right here, Leah.  I’ve been here since the beginning.  What I wouldn’t give for you to see me . . .” 

His words weighed her down, made her very soul twist in pain, and she pressed her face further into the pillow, trying her best to muffle the quiet sobs as a new wave of tears came. 

Time and again, she’d run to Joey, looking for that comfort that only he could give.  Every time, he’d been standing right there, ready to hold her until the storm had passed and she was calm enough to handle it herself. 

He’d been there.  For her.  Offering his time, care and concern.   

She’d taken every gift, taking a piece of him with her every time she’d turned to walk away. 

Now she realized that he had given her more of himself than anyone else ever had. 

And all she’d given in return was pain. 

The faint sound of his voice floated in from the balcony, drawing her attention to his soft shadow on the outside of the glass. 

There he was, sitting out there, probably finishing up his call to Steve, while she was in here, trying her best to put everything in perspective. 

She sighed and rolled over to face the wall, thinking back to the very reason that she was in his room, lying here on his bed. 

Matt.  Matt Kinsey and the way he took pleasure in ripping her apart. 

Now that her tears were gone and she was looking back over the situation, she couldn’t understand why it had gotten this far. 

She’d stayed with him for so long, so many months wasted, taking blow after blow to her pride and her heart. 

Why?  Why had she put herself through that torture? 

Matt had certainly never given her any reason to stay. 

The only person who’d ever made her feel like she was in the right place . . . was Joey. 

Her eyes widened, the puzzle pieces clicking into place in her mind. 

It was a vicious cycle.  Matt would hurt her, break her down.  She would turn and run to Joey.  Joey would comfort her, make everything right, give her that security she longed for.  Then he’d sit back and watch while she walked away, back to the very thing that was hurting her.  And it would start all over again. 

Her brain had equated Matt’s abuse to being the cause of Joey’s affectionate attention.  As long as she stayed with Matt, then she could fall back on Joe for everything that she was lacking. 

It wasn’t a pretty picture and she couldn’t help but get angry at herself.  She’d fallen into that pit that so many other women fell into – thinking she was in love with a man who couldn’t have cared less about her, when really she was just trying to grab hold of the very thing that was standing right in front of her. 

She wasn’t in love with Matt, had never been in love with him.  She’d been in love with the idea of having someone who cared enough to try and wipe away any pain she was feeling.  And she’d taken advantage of that, blinded herself to what Joey was feeling for her, because she’d been afraid that if Matt wasn’t in the picture, then Joey would figure that everything was all right and disappear as well. 

It was so confusing, so jumbled up . . . that it actually made sense. 

The sound of laughter carried in from the balcony, pulling her to turn so that she could see his legs through the glass.  He was sitting out there, rocking the white metal chair back and forth on its hind legs.  She could just picture him with the phone up to his ear and wondered what his brother had said to make him laugh. 

Her body turned over so that she was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling, trying to sort through the thoughts still flying through her head. 

She didn’t love Matt.  And that was okay, because he most definitely didn’t love her. 

If he had really meant what he’d said . . . then Joey just might love her. 

Maybe – just maybe – she could hang on to what they’d had before, but without the whole complication of Matt. 

Joey had become an essential, a vital part of her existence.  And she wanted to keep him.

By all rights, she knew that she didn’t deserve him.  She’d never deserved him, not even as a friend.  But she’d been blessed enough to have him, even if it was just for this little while. 

After everything she’d put him through . . . she really didn’t know why he’d stuck around this long. 

If she was honest with herself, she knew that he deserved better and that she should give him the opportunity to find the best person for him.  She should let him go, allow him to forget her and find someone worthy of loving him. 

Yes, that’s what she should do. 

But just the thought of letting him walk away sent her stomach tumbling, her heart twisting. 

No matter what it was that she should do, she was almost positive that she couldn’t bring herself to just turn and walk out forever, letting him live his life without her. 

She loved him too much to leave him behind. 

That last thought made her breathing speed up, her eyes widen, and she sat straight up on the bed. 

In one split second, her brain relinquished control and her heart finally took over. 

Her eyes moved around the room, landing on various objects as memories drifted through her mind. 

The first time she had gone out with the group, he’d gotten her to dance with him, only to end up laughing at how many times she stepped on his feet. 

All those times they’d stayed up late with a bowl of popcorn and a good movie, usually ending up throwing most of the popcorn at each other and falling asleep before the movie was over. 

That one time she’d woken up first, surprised to find herself in his arms, hugged closely to his chest as he slept . . . and that contented feeling she’d gotten from watching him sleep.  The warm, happy feeling that she’d quickly stowed away to the back of her mind.  

The irritating way that he would move around as she was trying to take the measurements for his wardrobe and the innocent grin he would give her when she glared up at him.

The way he would touch her, tenderly, softly, as if he were afraid that she was going to break. 

The way his eyes lit up when he smiled. 

The way just being around him made her feel like she was at home. 

The more she thought about it, the more sure she was of it. 

She loved him. 

Not only did she love him . . . she was in love with him. 

The realization dawned slowly on her, spreading a warmth through her body like she’d never known. 

She was in love. 

With Joey Fatone. 

Her eyes darted back over to the glass, straining to see him through the curtains. 

She turned, pulling herself to the edge of the bed, leaving the soft comforter so that she could walk to the sliding doors, opening them quietly. 

He was silhouetted against the deep red sky, leaning back in the chair, his hands covering his face as he talked . . . to himself. 

She leaned against the doorframe, facing him, listening intently to what he was saying, each word sending a dart directly into her heart. 

But she couldn’t blame him one bit for needing to vent.  The situation called for it and she wondered how many other times she’d driven him to letting loose on himself. 

Then she shifted her stance, her watch clinked against the metal framing . . . and he heard her, his hands coming down until he could look directly at her. 

The only thing left for her to do was hope that she could explain herself to him. 

And that he would forgive her. 

****************************** 

“ . . . How hilarious is this?  I’m the one who’s supposed to be the partier, after anyone in a skirt, and I’m sitting here pining away over a woman who doesn’t even realize I exist until she gets hurt.  She’s got me on a leash and she doesn’t even know it.”  He talked away, not even caring if Chris and Lance were still listening from the next balcony over.  He was getting it off his chest and it felt good.  “She’s not going to come around.  I should just let her go and move on.  I know that.  I’ve tried to keep her at a distance, to not be so attached, but then she comes to me with that look on her face and . . . it just starts all over again.”  He sighed.  “I don’t know . . . even now, part of me still hopes that maybe she’ll leave him and I’ll have a chance.  And then I have to figure in that if he’s not around to hurt her anymore . . . then she’s okay to be on her own.  She won’t need whatever it is she keeps me around for.  But the other part is screaming that I’m a raving lunatic for waiting this long and that I should just go out with the first woman who looks at me the right way.” 

His hands were already covering his face and his fingers moved to massage his temples, dreading the headache he felt coming on, finally venting out his anger in his next sentences. 

“Leah’s an awesome woman and all . . . but is it really worth all this?  Is being with her really worth the trouble she’s putting me through?  Is she worth it?”  He groaned.  “At this point . . . I really don’t think so.  Nothing that involves this much work and pain could possibly be worth it in the end.” 

The clinking noise next to him caught his attention and he pulled his hands away, looking over at the door. 

His eyes widened when he saw her standing there, watching him with an odd look on her face. 

“Leah . . . I . . .”  He stuttered, taken aback.  “How much of that did you hear?”

“Enough.”  She shrugged, her eyes meeting his.  “More than enough, actually.” 

He closed his eyes, fighting down the sick feeling rising in him.  “Wait.  You don’t understand . . .”

“Yeah, I think I do.”  She interrupted him, moving out of the doorway and stepping closer to him.  “I heard everything, Joe.  There’s not too much for me to not understand.” 

“I . . . I didn’t mean that last part.”  He shook his head, raking a hand through his hair roughly.  “Look, I can explain . . .” 

She held up a hand to stop him.  “No.  It’s all right.  You don’t have to.”  She gestured toward the table next to him.  “Could I borrow your phone for just a minute?” 

“Uh . . . sure.”  He passed the device to her, trying to gauge the expression on her face as her fingers brushed his in the exchange. 

“Thanks.”  Her face was a careful mask, unwilling to give any of what she was feeling away. 

She flipped the phone open, her thumb flying across the keys, turning on the speaker phone function before dialing the familiar number. 

After several rings, just as she’d expected, the voice mail picked up. “You’ve reached the voice mail of Matt Kinsey.  Leave your message at the tone.” 

She rolled her eyes, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for the tone to end, then brought the phone closer to her mouth. 

“I know how your brain works, Matt, so I’m going to keep this short and sweet.  It’s over.  I don’t expect it to be a shock to you, but that’s it.  We’re done.  Finished.  Don’t call me anymore.  I don’t want to hear from you.”  She cleared her throat, fighting down the urge to just end it at that as her eyes moved over to Joey, her gaze locking on his.  “For so long, I thought you were what I wanted, what I needed.  I was wrong.  You aren’t the one for me . . . but I think I’ve finally figured out that there’s someone out there, somewhere, who’s going to be exactly what I’m looking for.  And that’s a completely different story.  For me.  My new story.  You and me . . . we’re an old story.  I’m closing the book and I’m never going to open it again.”  She sighed.  “I’m not angry . . . I’m not even going to dwell on it.  Just live your life and leave me to live mine.  I’ll be much happier without you.” 

Finally, she flipped the phone closed, cutting off the connection, her eyes still glued on his.  “Well, that was a first for me.  I’ve always wanted to break up with someone over voice mail.”  She gave a short laugh and a small smile.  “That actually felt good.  Really good.” 

“That . . . that was great.”  His throat worked to swallow and he tore his gaze from her, intently focusing on anything else.  “I think he probably got the idea.” 

“Yeah, he probably did.”  She moved toward him, stopping less than a foot away from his chair and putting the phone back down on the table.  “But I’m beyond caring one way or the other.” 

“He . . . he doesn’t have anything over you, Leah.”  Even as he refused to meet her eyes, he kept an overly positive note in his voice.  “He can’t hurt you anymore.  That’s awesome.”   

“. . .  if he’s not around to hurt her anymore . . . then she’s okay to be on her own.  She won’t need whatever it is she keeps me around for . . .” 

His own words came back to haunt him, overriding his mental process, forcing him to accept that it was actually happening.  His head throbbed as he realized that she was free and wouldn’t need him from here on out.  This time, she would walk away and she wouldn’t come back.  The thought left him with a pang in his chest.   

For the first time in his life, he could honestly say that his heart was breaking. 

“Yeah, it is.  But I still worry . . .”  Her voice brought him back to reality, to find her crouched down next to him, her hand resting on his arm.  “And right now, I’m worried about you.” 

“Leah . . .”  He sighed, shaking his head.  “I know what you heard, but you don’t have to . . .” 

“You’re right.  I don’t have to.”  Her hands came up to his face, moving his head so that he could only look at her.  “But I want to.  I . . . I need to, Joey.”  She gave him a trembling smile, allowing her thumbs to trace the shaved portion of his jaw.  “I heard your song, but I still have to wonder if . . . am I too late?” 

“Too late?”  He didn’t even try to hide his confusion.  “Too late for what?” 

She took a deep breath.  “For . . . for us.” 

“Us?”  He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her as he tried to understand.  “You want to know if you’re too late for us?” 

Her eyes became uncertain as she took in his shocked expression.  “Y-yeah, I do.” 

Out of everything that she could have said, this was the last thing that he’d ever expected.  He could feel the disbelieving expression cross his own face as he stared back at her, unable to make his voice work. 

His eyes locked on hers . . . and he said a prayer that she wouldn’t read him wrong, that she’d be able to do all the talking, because he was absolutely certain that he wouldn’t be able to form a single word. 

****************************** 

She couldn’t move as he stared at her, but one look at his face told her everything she needed to know.  A sad smile graced her features as she exhaled, shaking her head. 

Her eyes turned to the ground and she bit her lip as she accepted the reality of their situation. 

He’d given up on her, moved on.  She’d taken too long to figure it out. 

She’d lost him. 

Before she’d even really had a chance to have him, she’d let him get away. 

But she still had this time with him.  Outside, where they could talk openly, without an audience. 

At least she could explain herself before she walked back through his room and out the door. 

He deserved that much. 

“I’m sorry.”  She sighed, moving to settle on her knees in front of him, her hands coming down to run through her hair.  “I’m so sorry, Joey.  I just . . . I didn’t know.”  She took a deep breath.  “I know that I’ve hurt you so many times, but . . . but I just didn’t know.  Through everything, I couldn’t see what was right here, in front of me.”  She reached up, her fingers touching the side of his face as her eyes trailed over his features.  “My rock.  My anchor.  My own personal life-size teddy bear.”  She forced out a quiet laugh.  “The only guy I know who doesn’t care that I step on his feet when we dance.” 

She paused just long enough to gather her thoughts. 

“A few minutes ago . . . I finally figured it out.  I see exactly what was going on . . . what I was doing to you and to myself.”  She breathed deeply once more, desperate to keep the tears at bay until she was finished.  “I hate myself for it.  I hate myself for what I put you through.  But that’s just something that I’ll have to deal with.”  Her eyes began to water and she blinked rapidly against the sting as she moved to stand, her hands on his knees for support.  “I’m too late.  I know it.  My head tripped me up.  It took me too long to see . . . but that’s good for you, Joe.  You’re right.  I’m not worth it.  You deserve so much more than someone like me.” 

“Wait . . . Leah . . .” 

She heard him speak her name as she pushed herself up, the sound of his voice prompting her eyes to lock on his lips.  Memories of friendly kisses on the cheek and forehead came rushing back to her and she couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to really kiss him. 

Here and now, she had the opportunity to find out.  The worst that he could do was push her away, and that really wouldn’t make a difference at this point. 

So she went for it, leaning close to him and brushing her lips against his lightly before she pulled back. 

“Leah . . .” 

She saw his wide eyes, heard his deep breath, saw that his hands were fisted around the wire arm rests of the chair. 

Tilting her head back, groaning towards the sky, she cursed herself yet again for her stupidity. 

“And there I go again.”  She closed her eyes and shook her head before looking at him again.  “I’m sorry.  I just . . . I had to know what it was like.  And, well, there you have it.”  She straightened up, her eyes meeting his one last time.  “I love you, Joe.  But somewhere out there is someone who will take better care of you than I have.  She’ll see everything that you are, everything that you can be, without letting her head get in the way.”  Her throat worked to swallow past the painful lump lodged there.  “She’ll be worth it.  And she’ll make you happy.”  She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.  “Be happy, Joey.  You deserve that more than anything.” 

Then she pulled together all the strength she had . . . and walked away from him for the last time. 

She made it all the way into the hotel hallway and around the corner before the tears started to fall and she had to lean against the wall as she sobbed, fighting against the gaping emptiness that filled her. 

Her hands covered her face as she realized that – for the first time in a long time – she didn’t have anyone to turn to. 

She was alone. 

And the only person she had to blame was herself. 

****************************** 

“. . . You’re right.  I’m not worth it . . . I’m sorry . . . I love you, Joe . . . Be happy . . .” 

Her words flew around and around in his mind, nearly making him dizzy. 

And out of everything she’d said in the last few minutes, one little sentence had made everything perfect. 

“I love you, Joe.” 

She hadn’t stuttered, hadn’t tripped up on it.  She’d looked him right in the face and said it steadily, with no doubt of what she was telling him. 

“I love you.” 

His eyes slid closed and he breathed deeply, letting that one little phrase erase all the frustration and anger, heal the hurt and disappointment he’d been feeling. 

“Good Lord, you’re an idiot, Joe.” 

His eyes flew open to find Chris leaning against the railing of the balcony next door.  “What?” 

“She just offered you everything you’ve been waiting for and all you can do is sit there?”  The older man raised an eyebrow at him.  “What are you doing, man?  Go after her.  Don’t let her leave.” 

He sat up straight when he heard the sound of his room door closing, turning his head to look through the glass. 

“Go get her, Joey.  You can still fix it.” 

He was already on his feet as the words registered, practically running through the room.  Pausing just long enough to slip his room key into his pocket, he sprinted out the door, desperate to catch her before she got too far away. 

Looking up and down the hallway, he tried to remember if the crew’s rooms were to the left or right before shaking his head and turning left, hoping for the best. 

He rounded the corner . . . and there she was, leaning against the wall and facing away from him, her shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. 

“Leah . . .” 

His pulse pounding in his ears, he reached out, grasping her arm and turning her to face him, his heart giving a twist when he saw the tears streaming down her cheeks. 

All those times he’d held her as she’d cried over Matt, he’d sworn to himself that he would never do that, never hurt her, never make her shed a tear. 

But here she stood . . . crying over him, just the sight of her tearing him to pieces. 

“Oh, God . . . I’m so sorry . . .” 

He automatically moved forward, hugging her as he’d grown so accustomed to. 

She clutched at him briefly, then pulled back, stepping away from him and taking a deep breath.  “It’s okay, Joey.  I’ll get over it.” 

He shook his head, racking his brain for the right things to say . . . 

And coming up with a total blank. 

“No.  Leah . . .” 

Even now – now that he had her right in front of him, right where he wanted her – he still couldn’t put it into words. 

She smiled at him, then turned, beginning to walk away from him.  Again. 

His voice wouldn’t work, so he relied on actions instead, pulling her back to him and leaning down to capture her lips with his own. 

Her lips trembled under his, then parted, inviting him to move even closer, and she relaxed as his hands came up to frame her face, his fingertips gently erasing the tracks her tears had left behind. 

She fisted her fingers in the front of his shirt and sighed as he pulled away, slowly opening her eyes to meet his as he leaned his forehead against hers. 

He licked his lips, tasting a mixture of her and the saltiness of her tears.  “I hope that got my message across, because whenever you look at me like that, my brain shuts down completely.” 

“You’re going to have to work on that.”  She gave him a shaky smile and laughed softly.  “What message was that supposed to be?” 

“Everything that I should have said back there while you were having your moment of truth.”  He sighed, his eyes moving slowly over her face.  “That it doesn’t matter how long it took you to figure it out.  You aren’t too late.  You could never be too late, Leah.”  He smiled softly as she began to chew on her bottom lip.  “I’m so lucky to know you, to have you in my life.  You are worth it . . . I’d go through anything if it meant that I could have you near me.”  She released his shirt and he moved his hands down, catching hers so that their fingers were laced together.  “And nobody else is going to make me as happy as I am when I’m with you.” 

“For someone with no brain function, you just said quite a bit.”  She looked down at their hands, then brought watery eyes up to meet his.  “All that, huh?” 

He shook his head, his fingers squeezing hers.  “There’s more.  You said that you’d get over it . . . but I don’t want you to get over it.  Because I won’t.  Ever.  If you turn away from me right now . . . I don’t think I could take that.  If I have to watch you walk away from me again . . . it’d kill me, Leah.” 

She pulled her hands free, wrapping her arms around his neck.  “You don’t have to worry about that, Joe.  As long as you’re not pushing me away, I’m not going anywhere.” 

His hands flattened against her back, pulling her tighter against him, and he kissed her lightly, then pulled back a fraction of an inch, grinning into her eyes.  “It’s kind of hard for me to push you away when all I want is to hold you closer.  Now that I’ve got you . . . I don’t want to let you go.” 

“Then don’t.”  Her fingers moved upward, sliding into his hair. 

He took a deep breath.  “You said it out on the balcony . . . but I need to hear you say it again.” 

Her eyes closed for a moment, then she was staring into him with a smile.  “I love you, Joey.”  She bit her lip, then continued.  “Not only do I love you . . . I’m in love with you.” 

A brilliant smile lit up his features and he almost lost his voice again.  “I love you back, Leah.”  He felt her fingers tighten in his hair and he said it once more.  “I love you back.”  His gaze roamed over her face, skipping over her nose, cheeks and lips before finally coming up to meet her eyes.  “Can I keep you?” 

She nodded, her voice wavering.  “Yeah . . . you can.”  A blink later, another tear trailed down her cheek.  “I’m all yours.” 

His thumb brushed the droplet away and then she was pulling him down, pressing her lips against his once more, craving that feeling of completeness that only he could give. 

He tightened his hold on her and she found that perfect place against him, clinging to him even tighter.  His head tilted further to one side, his thumb pressing down on her chin to deepen the contact as his mouth moved with hers, generating enough heat to melt through even the thickest of ice.  

Two hearts, two souls came together – dancing, loving, beginning a new existence – and they both knew that right here, in this hallway . . . right here, in each other’s arms . . . right here, together . . . was exactly where they were meant to be. 

This moment, right here and right now . . . was the closest to Heaven that they would ever find on this side of life. 

And, from what Chris could tell as he peered around the corner with a grin . . . they weren’t planning on coming back down to Earth anytime soon.