I'm fat.
Seriously.
I'm not the typical skinny bitch who stands in front of the mirror and pinches her flat stomach, desperately trying to grip the 'fat' that is stacking up on her belly, before frowning at her reflection and moaning in distress.
My fat is undeniable. No pinches needed. Just one glance and you'll think to yourself 'geeze, she needs to lay off the twinkies' and I'll simply think back, 'yep. . . and devour chocolate instead'.
I'm a rare find, really. I'm one of a few fatties who isn't suffering from DFFS, also known as 'Desperate Fat Female Syndrome'. It's a sad thing. The women with this suffer through endless nights of starvation and face-stuffing before they drown themselves in tears and start all over again.
Such a vicious cycle.
A cycle that I choose to never submit myself to. I mean, what's the point? If you're fat, you're fat. If you're skinny, you're skinny. Boobs, no boobs. Ass, no ass. It is what it is and no amount of plastic surgery will eliminate that annoying little voice in our heads that tells us there's something wrong with the way we look. That's just life for you. Cruel, merciless, and unfair.
Take it or leave it. That's what I say.
I guess that's what attracted him to me in the first place. The guy this story is going to be about. You know. . . the typical, hot white knight that came crashing into my life, leaving me in permanent euphoria. . .
Right.
Let's just be honest here; there is no White Knight. He does not exist. He never will exist and he most definitely never existed in the first place. It's a hard fact to live with, but suck it up and move on.
That's another thing I say.
This guy I'm talking about is far from perfect, quite annoying, and has the disgusting habit of burping my name at least five times a day. He's tall, scrawny, has a big head, smiles too damn much, laughs like a witch, and never seems to understand that everything cannot go his way. . . Not as charming as you may have hoped, but he is who he is.
And besides, I love him anyway.
Don't be fooled. This isn't some sappy romance or some dramatic tale of forbidden love. This is just life. Real life. How things work and how we live and love, whether we like it or not.
So, just sit back, relax, and try to enjoy the ride. It'll be funny. It'll be sad. It'll be boring, but it'll be honest, real, and true.
Just the way I like it.
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