Sarah longingly looked out the window. She felt his hands slide around her waist. Smiling brightly, she spun around in his arms and stared up into his deep blue eyes. “I thought you weren’t going to come.”

His features were serious as he looked her face over, taking in every detail. “Why wouldn’t I?” She shrugged. Tucking a piece of stray hair behind her ear, he hugged her closer to him. “I missed you Sar.”

“I missed you too.” She pulled back slowly to look at his glowing face. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah I mean… I had a little bit to drink but not enough for you to be concerned over.” He grinned sheepishly, swinging her hand back and forth.  “Oh dear, does this mean I need to babysit you again tonight?” she laughed but the smile never reached her eyes.  He looked at her closely. “What’s wrong?” Sarah stared at him for a second. How did he…? She underestimates him sometimes. “Can we talk?” “Of course love,” he said, leading her out of the party and to the backyard. She played with his hands as she spoke to him.  “Do you think we’re lucky?” she finally asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Think about it. We have all this and… It’s just…” she sighed. “I saw something today.”

He looked at her with concern. “What did you see?”

“Well I was at the hospital today, you know doing the whole volunteer thing, and they had a shortage. So instead of doing my normal boring job of restocking the drawers with Lisa, I got to go to the children’s ward and…” her voice choked a little so he pulled her closer for a hug. “I just… it was so sad,” she whispered into his chest.  “I know baby, I know.” She pulled away from him, looking in his eyes. “I just… I don’t know if I can do it. Here I am, only weeks away from starting college and I don’t know if I can handle my major!”

“Look Sarah, hey! Hey! Sarah baby, chill out,” he said, trying to get her to focus on him. “You’re only 18 sweetie, you’ve got four years to figure this out. Take it one day at a time, you don’t have to decide your entire life right this moment,” he whispered soothingly. “I know… Thanks Jake.” She kissed him softly.
“Are you ok now?” he whispered after a few minutes of silence. She nodded against his chest. “Want to go back to the party?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

“Are you sure you’re ok?”

She giggled. “I’m fine! Let’s go back to the party.”

Two hours later the couple was finally trying to get out the door. He squeezed her hand as they walked into the warm Florida air. “That had to be one of the best parties ever.”

“Yeah.” She looked over at her boyfriend Jake. They weren’t your average couple; Jake was a cool kid. The rebel. He played bass in his band, got invited to parties, and even got detentions! She, if you couldn’t tell already, was a bit of a nerd. But she got lucky, Jake needed help with Math and she needed help with getting a social life. After a few study parties, and a few… not so studious parties, the two just hit it off. She never went a day without thinking about how lucky she was. “Maybe we should walk home,” she suggested. He looked down at the beer in his hand and threw it in a nearby garbage as they passed.

“Good idea. I’ll walk you home.”

“I don’t think so,” she laughed. “You’re way more drunk than I am.”

“I am not. Well, ok… well maybe a little,” he snickered, twirling her around and kissing her. “I’m so lucky to have such a beautiful girl like you to walk me home.” She rolled her eyes and started to pull him down the street.

The two walked down the lonely street hand in hand, the sounds of the party drifting further and further away from them. “I love living out here, away from everything. It’s so calm and peaceful.”

He nodded and led her out onto the main road. They had a long walk ahead of them, an hour at least. They didn’t mind though, they were together and they loved just being with one another. They talked and laughed, walking slowly like they had all the time in the world. It was only a few weeks before Sarah would go off to UF and Jake would be left back home. A strange sound broke the two out of their daze. “What’s that?” she whispered. Jake protectively pulled her closer.
 
“Get on the side of the road in the grass for a minute, let me go see what’s going on,” he said as he walked away.

“Jake… Don’t leave me here. Come on baby, you’re too drunk for this.”

“I’ll be right back Sar… I’m just going to go a little further up the road to see what’s going on.” She licked her lips as he walked away from her, rocking on her heels as her eyes and ears caught every movement, every sound. She heard the noise again. It sounded like a car engine. But where was it coming from? She looked around uneasily for the headlights but found nothing. Suddenly a car shot into view, coming down a side street and swerving horribly. But she couldn’t move, it was like her feet were glued in place. “JAKE!” 

His cell phone rang shrilly next to him as he waited impatiently. He finally picked it up on the eighth ring. “Hello?” he asked sharply.

“Jussstttinn! Buddy! Whater you dooooinnn?” his friend screamed from the other end.

“JC, I’m like, 10 feet away from you. Turn around.” Justin watched his friend swivel his confused head around to find him.  When he finally spotted his curly haired friend, he waved frantically at him. Justin rolled his eyes and put his phone back in his pocket. After ordering another vodka and Red Bull he leaned back in his seat and surveyed the bar. He was driving tonight so he should stay sober but he was young! Why should he be so careful? An hour later he had downed three more and was ready to make his way onto the dance floor. He wasn’t really into these kind of clubs lately, they all seemed to be too wild for him. He chuckled. Lately anything with more than twenty people or loud music seemed wild. He just wasn’t having any fun anymore. The guys were going out every night and he was getting sick of it. Yeah, it was fun the first few weeks, maybe even months to be able to legally go to bars and clubs and drink but there were only so many mornings of waking up hung over and not remembering a thing from the night before that he could handle before it all got a little old.

He danced slowly with a girl who looked barely over the age of twelve as his eyes scanned over the crowd to spot his other band mates. Lance and Joey were already gone; they’d hooked up with two blondes within the first half hour out there and left almost immediately. JC was drunk off his ass dancing with a few girls in the corner and Chris was no where to be found. He wondered how the guy did it. Over the hill and still clubbing almost every night usually with more energy than his youngest friends. Justin backed away slightly as the girl tried to get a little more suggestive with her moves. It obviously pissed her off so she stormed away to find someone else. He spotted her with JC as he walked off the dance floor.

He made his way over to the couple after a few more songs, now sick of his surroundings. “JC!”

He turned around, grinning broadly and pulled Justin into a hug. “I missed you man!” Justin raised his eyebrows. The way JC got when he was drunk still weirded him out after all this time. He was always so in control and professional when he was sober.

“I’m gonna to get going. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Make sure you get a cab ok?”

JC nodded enthusiastically. “See ya!”

Justin shook his head as he walked out of the overcrowded dance club and into the beautiful Florida air. It was probably a little above sixty, perfect temperature in his opinion. He ducked his head down and traveled the length of the parking lot. It took him a little while before he got the keys to fit right. The new Mercedes shot out of the lot and onto the highway, speeding faster with each second. He knew he shouldn’t be driving but he just didn’t care at that point. Nothing really mattered much anymore.

He kept the radio off as he drove further and further away from the city. He liked the silence. His thoughts pounded at his head. He growled loudly, angry at everything. This had become routine for him lately. Go out, get drunk, find a girl and take her back to the hotel, then wake up the next morning feeling absolutely horrible and disgusted with himself. He knew people were getting worried, he couldn’t count the number of times his mother had called to check up on him. It was embarrassing to say the least when your mother would stop by at random times in the day to make sure you weren’t on drugs or to force you to eat something. He subconsciously looked down at his stomach. He’d lost more weight since his twenty-first birthday he’s ever lost.
Everyone kept warning him about getting sick- saying he needed to be healthy for the tour coming up, needed to be able to go up and sing every night. He didn’t even know if he wanted to sing anymore. It just didn’t give him the thrill it did before. He was sick of always being in the spotlight, always being looked at, watched under a microscope. Every mistake he made was blown up on the cover of the Enquirer the next day. He was living his life in fear of ruining his “image”. He just didn’t care anymore. Let them see him for who he is. He is human.

His eyes drooped as he stared out the window. He hadn’t slept in three days but that wasn’t going to stop him. He needed to get away. He needed it all to just stop. He just wanted to be left alone. Was that really too much to ask?

Sighing slightly, it hit him. He could just end it. He didn’t want to live this way anymore. He just couldn’t handle being a “superstar” anymore. All he needed was to be normal. The word seemed so far away. So unknown to him. He wasn’t normal, he never will be. Determination took him over and he pressed his foot down harder on the gas. He was going to die eventually, at least this way it would be under his control. Death seemed to be the only thing he could control.

The car shot down the empty highway, the passenger unaware of what was going on around him, only knowing that this was the end. It all felt so peaceful. This was the way it was supposed to be. He lifted his hands off the wheel. This was it.

Beeping sounds and the hum of the machines slowly woke the sleeping form in the hospital bed. The sunlight started to drip through the window as the morning creeping in. The monitors were hooked up to body parts the patient didn’t even know they had. Wires came from all over, the white bed sheets even and unwrinkled. An outsider would have no idea it was even being used. A young nurse no more than eighteen or nineteen years old moped into the room, sadly singing to herself as she refilled gauze, plastic cups, and cotton swabs.
“In all of creation
All things great and small
You are the one that surpasses them all
More precious than
Any diamond or pearl
They broke the mold
When you came into this world
And I'm trying hard to figure out
Just how I’ll ever live without…” She trailed off near the end, sniffling a bit.

“Where am I?” The nurse stopped and stared, her face falling.

“You’re awake,” she said coldly.

“What’s going on?”

She took a deep breath, her throat suddenly dry. “You were in a car accident.” The patient’s eyes closed as the events of the night before came flooding back. “Do you know who was in that car accident with you?” Their eyes opened again, now slightly teary. “I said do you KNOW who was in that car accident with you?” The patient winced. Why was this nurse being so cruel?

“Who?”

The nurse glared for a long time, anger boiling inside of her, tears welling in her eyes. “You don’t even know do you?” she croaked out.

“No, I… I really don’t know what you’re talking about…”

The nurse wiped away her tears, anger shining through. “It’s all your fault!” she screamed. “If it wasn’t for you and your stupidity none of this would be going on!  This would have never happened!” The patient shrunk back, petrified of the lady. “If… if you just decided to go down a different street then-“ she hiccupped a bit, “You’ve thrown my whole life upside down! It’s all your fault! You ruined everything!”

“What are you talking about?”

“WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?!” she shrieked. She didn’t have time to finish her statement. A confident doctor entered the room and put his hand on her shoulder. The nurse took a deep breath and cast one last angry stare at the patient before she left.

“I’m really sorry about all that,” the doctor apologized. “It’s fine,” the patient lied. “Why was she so angry?”

“She’s just… She knew the…” he sighed and sat down. “Do you remember what happened last night?”

The patient swallowed hard. “Kind of. I remember… I remember getting in an accident…”
“Well… There was another person involved in that accident.”

“And?” the patient asked, the fear rising in their stomach.

“The nurse knew the… She knew that person. They were very close in fact.”

“What happened? What happened to this person?!”

The doctor lifted his head sadly. “Mr. Timberlake… You killed her.”