This past month working with Justin was really good. She had learned so much from him about the business. Audrie had been dating JC the entire time they were in New York. It seemed like a good thing that JC had a home out in LA. It would be good for Audrie to have that kind of man in her life. As for herself she really didn’t want a relationship. She was happy being single and really getting to know herself. Since their dinner date a month ago she hadn’t opened up anymore. They talked about random things that night but never about her. She was afraid to reveal her real story and wasn’t sure that Justin would really understand her. Not that his opinion mattered to her but in some ways it did. Ana didn’t know why but Justin always gave her this look like he liked her. Ana never really understood that because she knew she wasn’t his type. She’d seen the type of girls he was into and it sure wasn’t her.

Justin didn’t know why but he knew she was pulling away from him. Since they had gone to dinner she really went out of her way to talk about everything and anything other than herself. He honestly didn’t know why he cared about her so much. Did he really care for her or was it just lust? He had dated some of the hottest women in the business. He wasn’t saying Ana wasn’t hot. She was she had this natural beauty to her that none of those woman had. Ana would come into the studio with jeans and t-shirt no make-up or her hair done and she could care less. All she cared about was putting her music out and that it was good. He saw her passion for music like those close to him. He had never seen a female like her in a real long time. He knew that he really wanted to get close to her but he wasn’t sure how.

"So Aud do you have plans with JC today?"

"Yeah he has to head back to Florida for a bit so we wanted to hang today. Why did you want to do something?"

"Nah its cool girl hang with your man I am happy for you. I think I’m going to chill here and work on some songs."

"Girl please go out do something experience New York be a fucking tourist. You have the rest of your life to write music. But you only have one first time in New York. We have been here a month and all you’ve done is go to the ESPNzone."

"Aud calm down you are actually yelling at me."

"Look I’m sorry I love you. I am sorry that you got hurt the way you did. Believe me that’s something you didn’t deserve. Really though I know its going to take time and the right person. I want you to be happy and be ok. You’re just shutting everyone out and it’s not good."

"Aud I know you want what’s best but."

"No, no buts this time you need to do something cause this shit isn’t healthy. Don’t think I don’t hear you crying yourself to sleep cause I do. I know your hurting."

"Aud I’m sorry but I am not ready to open up to anyone. If you hadn’t been there when it happened I’m not sure I would’ve ever opened up to you. I’m used to shutting myself off to the world that’s going on around me. At times I find that I am completely oblivious to life. Do you know that I wouldn’t even realize life was going on if you weren’t around me. When were back in LA I wasn’t living my life I was a zombie. My body did what I had to do but it was like I wasn’t even present." Ana had never opened up to Aud the way she was at this moment. Before everything happened with Chad she was like an open book. Ana wore her heart on her sleeve now she was more guarded like the queen herself. When she met Timberland that month that was the most she had ever seen her happy. It was like her best friend was there but she was a lost soul. But it was true if she hadn’t gone to Audrie right away and explain the Chad thing she wouldn’t understand her this well.

"Ana I have nothing but love for you but you need to do something. Girl this is the greatest thing to happen to you. You really are living your dream now live it. You’ve worked so hard for this and you’re not even enjoying it. You realize that at the end of this month your whole life is really going to change."

"I think JC is here for you now."

"Hold on this Isn’t over yet."

"Girl just go please I don’t think I can take anymore of this conversation."

"I mean it Ana your ass better not spend all fucking day in the room."

"Hey JC have a good time with her."

"Oh I will did you want to come?"

"No I think my girl wants you all to herself. Have a good time ok."

After that fight with Audrie she was completely exhausted. They very rarely fought but when they did it was always about this. No matter how far she had come that night was forever inbedded in her brain. All she wanted to do was get past it and move on. Especially now this was one skeleton that she had in her closet that she never wanted to get out. Now she wasn’t sure she would have much of a choice cause Audrie was right. Her life was changing and soon she would become a public figure.

"Audrie are you ok?"

"I am sorry Jayce, Ana and me had a fight before you got there."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I wish I could but I can’t. This is the same fight we’ve been having for the last four years. The only way we can move on is for her to move on."

"Well J was going to stop by her room after we left. Do you think we should call and tell her?"

"No, I actually think J is going to be perfect for her. I know she likes him but she will never admit it."

"Come on let’s enjoy our last day together in New York. Maybe tonight all four of us could all go to dinner together."

"Jayce you really are great."

Ana was thinking hard about what her best friend had just told her. She really wanted to make the best of this and she knew she wasn’t doing it sitting in her room. The streets of New York scared her but she wanted to be a tourist and do all the tourist things.

"Um who is it?"

"Ana it’s Justin."

"Um hey did we have studio time scheduled?"

"Actually no I was just stopping by in hopes that we could get to know each other. Hey maybe I could show you around New York?"

"You know what Justin I think there are some things that you need to know about me."

"Are you sure?"

"I know that this past month I have been shutting you out. I’ve talked to you but I haven’t really talked to you."

"Yeah well I have noticed that but I didn’t want to push you. If you are not ready for this then don’t."

"Actually Aud and I had it out early. Because honestly I am here but I am not really living this experience."

"Why?"

"I guess what I am trying to tell you is that I am ready to tell you my past and my reasons."

Flashback

Wednesday May 10, 2000

"ana dammit are you read to go or what we have to meet Gil and Bob at the bar!"

"Dammit Chad I am coming give me like two seconds please. Besides it’s my day they will wait for me."

"I know its just we said we’d be there and we are already running late."

"I’m here baby. How do I look?"

"Oh hun you are gorgeous."

"Ok let’s go meet the boys already."

"Good."

"Chad have I told you I love you today?"

"Actually no."

"good cause I really do love you. I am the happiest I have ever been and I have you to thank for that."

Chad was a blessing in her life he really did bring the best out of her. He always knew what to say and how to make her feel better. Chad always understood her mom and why they never got along. She had always heard people talk shit about Chad but she didn’t listen to them. Like her family she figured they just wanted to see her unhappy.

"Baby you look great come on let’s go get our groove on."

"SURPRISE!!!"

"Oh my gosh Chad did you do all this for me?"

"Hey girl your boys and I helped too."

"Oh Aud this is wonderful. I have the greatest friends in the world and the best boyfriend ever."

Chad definitely had his skeletons in his closet and was happy she didn’t listen to them. Chad played on her naiveness and that she wasn’t as experienced as other girls. He knew slowly but surely he would pull her away from her friends. His main goal was to make her all his and no one else’s. Chad had always hated how Gil and her were so close. He knew if he had anyone to worry about it was him. Gil knew of his past and knew that he was the only one that could really ruin it. But how far was Chad really willing to go?

"Hey baby come dance with me."

"Babe I’m talking with my friends. I hardly get to see them plus I spend all my time with you."

"I said come dance with me." this was a side of Chad she had never seen. Of course she had heard he had a violent side but didn’t know it was true. He had always treated her with kitten gloves.

"Ok babe you don’t have to be so forceful."

"Well next time I say come I mean it."

"Chad baby come on this is my birthday. I just wanna have fun with you and my friends."

"Well if that’s what you want your wish is my command."

With that Chad had walked out of her party and she didn’t know what to do. Was she really ready to choose some man over her friends? These friends were there long before him and would be there after him. What if she made the wrong choice and whoever she didn’t pick hated her. That was a choice she was not making tonight.

"Hey what happened to Chad?"

"He got mad at me and left. Should I go after him Gil?"

"Nah girl let him cool down and you’ll talk to him after."

"Ok you’re going to have to give me a lift."

"How bout you stay with me we need some quality you and me time?"

"You know what sure we haven’t done that since high school."

Chad had stormed out over half an hour already and she wasn’t coming after him. She was going to learn a lesson tonight and it was going to be a good one.

"Gil we are so drunk who’s driving us home?"

"Girl come on I know this town like the back of my hand. Wait that mark wasn’t there yesterday. Ok so we are drunk I am sure I can make it to my house."

"Gil are you sure I mean who can we call? Your right let’s ride." This is not what Chad wanted. She was leaving with Gil the last person he wanted her to leave with. Wait where the hell was he taking her. She’s going back to his house this is not happening.

"Gil thanks for always being here for me. Chad has never acted like this before this is a side I haven’t seen."

"Oh baby girl come on let’s not let him ruin our night."

"You know what Gil you’re right tonight we are going to have fun."

"Good I just wanna hang with my best girl."

Chad knew what he had to do and he was going to make her his tonight. Chad didn’t care who stood in his way cause Ana was his and that’s all that mattered.

"Gosh I haven’t been here in forever. Where is your mom and sis?"

"Oh they are out of town we have the place to our self."

"Remember Gil I have a man and I would never cheat even if alcohol is involved."

"I know I would never do that to you."

Gil and Ana were just sitting there talking when Chad barged in. He was so full of rage and anger. Ana had never seen this look in his eyes before. She didn’t fear for her life it was Gil she was worried about.

"Chad baby calm down all we were doing is talking."

"Ana let’s go now!"

"No she is not going with you when you’re like this."

"Gil it’s ok I’ll go with him. I will be ok I promise."

"Ana don’t go with him not when he’s like this."

"Gil he wouldn’t hurt me I will see you tomorrow ok." what Ana didn’t know is Gil would see her but not like this. When Chad got Ana home he did the last thing she ever expected he beat her. Chad didn’t have any control over his anger. He saw her all bloody and barely breathing.

"Baby oh baby I’m sorry please baby." chad was scared his anger had gotten the better of him and now he was going to pay. He knew what he had to do but he knew either way he was wrong. This was the worst thing he had ever done and he was going to leave. He was going to do at least one right thing. He would at least call 911 but wouldn’t be there when the ambulance arrived. Would she ever really forgive him for what he did?

Ana didn’t know where she was or why she was asleep so long. She figured she must’ve been drunker than she thought. She felt really sore and every part of her body hurt. What happened to her? All she remembered was Chad coming in and how angry he was. Had he hit her?

"Ana wake up girl you have to wake up."

"Audrie is that you? Where am I?"

"Oh girl you’re awake thank god."

"Aud what happened I can’t remember a thing. Where am I at?"

"Hun you have been in the hospital for a week. You were oh girl how do I tell you this?"

"Where’s Chad if I am in the hospital why isn’t he here."

"They haven’t found him yet. Ana you were severely beaten so bad that you lost some blood. You have some broken ribs, your arm, and leg. Let me go get the guys. Gil has been here all this time he was really worried about you. He’s been blaming himself for letting you leave."

"It wasn’t his fault. Gil it wasn’t your fault."

"If I hadn’t let you go you’d be ok."

"Gil really if he did it to me now there is a good chance he would’ve done it eventually."

End Flashback

"So Justin that is the reason I am the way I am." Ana looked at him and she knew he didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t expecting him to know what to say. When her past came out most wouldn’t know what to say to her. She’d heard all the comforting words that you could say to someone. She didn’t need the comforting words what she needed was to move on. She needed to really let go of her past and she hoped she had just done that. She actually felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. This was a new day and she was going to start to live her life again. She wasn’t going to let her past run her she was going to run her.