Chapter 20 �“ Justin’s Plan?????.
Justin sat back on the bean bag he was perched upon. Looking at the anticipation on everyone’s faces, the silence in the room, he finally spoke “Okay, guys, I’m sorry �“ I haven’t got a plan at all, I don’t know what to do, I was hoping that something would either come to me when I was talking, or that one of you would butt in with a brilliant suggestion. I can’t, I just can’t let them get away with this, but mostly I want to know why they’ve done it. I mean, what could make them do this to me, that’s what I don’t understand. I’ve been sitting upstairs trying to think what could make the two people I’ve always loved and trusted do this, and I just can’t figure it out.”
There was a collective out letting of air at this point, no one had realised they were holding their breath again until he finished talking. Lance pointed out that he couldn’t go public, as by admitting he’d been blackmailed was admitting there had been a tape in existence, even if his mom had the wrong one. Chris made up a series of highly implausible plans involving FBI agents, running through sewers and undercover work plus several which involved Ruth and her sister dressing up in leather pants, for reasons unknown to anyone but Chris. Ruth reminded Chris that it was *NSYNC who wore the dodgy trousers, not her. Ray totally dropped Ruth in it at this stage by pointing at JC and saying that he thought it was just him that Ruth thought wore stupid trousers.
This resulted in JC bugging Ruth for 10 minutes trying to find out what Ray had meant by that comment and ended in Ruth putting on her Pop Odyssey DVD and scanning through the songs quickly making various comments about JC’s penchant for tight trousers during the tour, to the amusement of everyone in the room, other than JC who insisted it wasn’t his fault, as they had a costume department. To which Ruth asked if that was the same costume department that dressed them for the “This I Promise You” video because if so then she hoped they weren’t paying them much. Justin stayed quiet during this, mostly because him and Ruth had already had discussions about his red hat and he knew what she could get like on the subject of clothes. He’d finally agreed to stop wearing the hat during the concerts, much to Ruth’s relief as most of the argument had been spent with Ruth trying to explain the word Ponce and not actually about the hat itself.
Eventually they all calmed down and got to the matter in hand. How was Justin going to sort out this mess. Strangely enough, he had said he did want to salvage the relationship with his Mom, Trace could go to hell, but Mom’s are different and he did want to see what had happened to make her do this to him. Ruth and Ray were bemoaning the lack of flip-charts and light boards, they’d spent too many hours in project management training, Lance had his laptop up making random notes while Chris and Joey flicked balled up pieces of paper at each other. Justin was deep in thought, even Joey’s attempts to get paper in his hair weren’t getting a response, the ‘fro was starting to re-emerge, much to everyone, bar Justin’s amusement, as it had been over 6 weeks since he’d been near a hairdresser. JC and Paul were working on JC’s outside projects, whilst thinking about a plan too, but work was work and even on New Years Day, work needs to be done.
Ruth had put some music on earlier, Robbie Williams again at the request of the group who were trying to get to know his music a little better to see what ones they would use if he toured. Ruth had put the first album on, best start from the beginning in her opinion, until Angels came on.
I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate
And do they know
The places where we go
When we’re grey and old
Cos I’ve been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I’m lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel that love is dead
I’m loving angels instead
And through it all
She offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I’m right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know she won’t forsake me
I’m loving angels instead
When I’m feeling weak, and my pain walks down a one way street.
I love above
And I know I’ll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
She breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I’m loving angels instead.
Justin just sat there, a lone tear running down his face, as the song finished he bolted out of the living room and upstairs. Hearing that he had got into the bedroom and not the bathroom and therefore couldn’t lock himself in, Chris, Lance and Joey all looked at JC, who stood up and followed Justin upstairs. He was used to it now, whenever Justin had got like this on the road it was always his job to sort him out. As a little boy he’d looked up to JC and that adoration hadn’t ever fully gone away. JC was the older brother Justin didn’t have and even now that Justin wasn’t the overwhelmed teenager anymore, there were times when only JC knew what to say.
Upstairs-
“You wanna talk about it?” JC asked Justin, looking at him from across the room. Justin was sitting on the edge of the bed, totally still.
“Not really, No” he replied, and then continued “I just don’t get it. When I had something to fight them about I didn’t think about why, but now it’s over all I can think about is why? What did I do? I’ve always done everything my Mom wanted me too, even that stupid beauty pageant. I wanted it too, all this, the fame, the fortune, the music. I’ve always involved her, and I tried to involve Trace, I flew out to see him lots, I invited him out on the road. When I went solo I made him my PA. He’s been in every single album thank you, what more do they want from me?
JC decided it was time for him to speak his mind. Well, not just his mind, sort of a collective *NSYNC mind. “They’re jealous, but I, we, think they’re more frightened of losing you” he started. “All your life you need your Mom, but normal kids, they go to school, they go to college, or get jobs and leave home. Parents become someone you see in the evenings and weekends, or less than that eventually as you leave home, but you never had that, she was living with you, sharing hotel rooms with you at 14-15. Yes, she was there looking after Lance too, but there wasn’t the attachment there, he was older and not her son. Lance never had the media coverage you had either. Neither of you moved on from the childhood dependency, but you grew up, so you took her on as part of your management team, Britney came along as she nearly lost you to her, but your heart was broken and she took the opportunity then to take back what Britney had taken away from her, and was so frightened of losing it again, that since you went solo she’s done whatever she can to keep you. I don’t think she really knows what she’s doing.
Trace, well I’m sorry Justin, but Trace is as a$$hole. The first time he ever came to visit us he acted all superior because he was YOUR friend, and in his eyes, you were the star. He nearly had Lance in tears one night because he was teasing him so bad about only being a backing singer, Chris nearly put his lights out several times that summer, but Chris was 26 and Trace was 16, so he managed to control himself. He’s seen you grow away from him as you grew up, spending more time with us, with Brit. Brit’s out of the picture and for a time we were too, and you took him back into your life, full time, don’t you think he’d want to keep it that way, wouldn’t you, who is Trace without Justin.” JC finished up, he’d been watching the look on Justin’s face as he spoke, watching the pieces of the puzzle fall into place.
“So what am I going to do?” He asked.
“I don’t know Curly, I really don’t know.” JC answered.
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