**************
**************
“I can’t believe she would say some shit like that to me! He’s my son? No, I don’t believe that. Not at all!” he raged to his mother as he paced back and forth across her kitchen floor.
“Why not?”
"This is all so stupid, Mama! Three years! Anytime in the past three years, she could have told me! She’s hiding something, and I think it’s the truth.” Justin slammed his body into one of the chairs and propped elbows up on the table. His head sunk into his hands.
Justin had gone straight home from Yancey’s apartment the previous night. He had waited until the next afternoon to say anything to his mother, opting not to go to church. All night long he had tossed and turned in his bed. A child. His child. He knew Yancey wouldn’t lie to him; he knew that. Justin hadn’t yet figured out why he had driven to his mother’s and told her that he thought Yancey was concealing the truth of her child’s paternity. One thing was for certain, though. He wanted her to hurt just like he was hurting.
**************
Around two o’clock, Yancey opened her front door to answer her doorbell's persistent ringing. In front of her stood Justin’s mother.
“Hey, Yance,” the curly-haired blonde said, showing only a hint of the warm smile that Yancey had grown accustomed to seeing constantly when she was dating Justin.
“Come in, Mama Lynn. You’ll have to excuse my mess. I was just about to--“
“Yance, this place is spotless. Don’t worry about a thing. Anyway, I didn’t plan on being here too long.” Lynn took a seat on the couch, placed her purse down by her feet, and sat straight up with her knees together, her hands clasped over them. “I talked with Justin today.”
Yancey sighed. She knew what was coming. “Mama Lynn, I didn’t want to tell him the way I did.”
“So why did you? My child is hurting, Yancey, and I can’t help but to think you’re to blame for that.”
“I know it was wrong of me to throw that on him the way I did, but the way our conversation was flowing, I felt like I had no choice. He was asking so many questions, like why hadn’t I told EJ’s father? What was taking me so long? Mama Lynn, I didn’t get pregnant on purpose, especially not at the age I was--“
“Nobody said you did.”
“Yes, ma’am, but you’ve got to know that I had no intention of bringing up my child without him knowing his father. When I found out, Justin wasn’t around much anymore, doing his singing thing. He was off doing something that he had been dreaming about for years, Mama Lynn. He told me that he wanted to make it more than anything. I thought that meant more than be with me, too. And using a child to keep him here wouldn’t have done anything but made him hate me. I figured that, just for a little while, Justin wouldn’t have to know about EJ. Just so he could accomplish at least some of his goals.”
“You knew you were pregnant when you left for Mississippi?”
“Yes. I was just past my first trimester then, I believe.” Yancey closed her eyes and briefly relived the moment her parents discovered her predicament. They had been disappointed, of course, but she remembered above everything how understanding they had been even in the beginning. Even with EJ coming along when he did, her life had been so much easier than others. It was no wonder she was having such a hard time dealing with this.
“There is so much that you and Justin need to discuss; I don’t really think I can speak for him. I believe what you say, and despite what Justin said to me this morning, I know he does, too--“
Yancey inhaled sharply. That had been one thing she had not thought about. Never in her wildest dreams did she think Justin would deny EJ. “He said I was lying to him?”
“He just needs some time... Can I see him? EJ, I mean?” Lynn asked cautiously. She so wanted to see this child, just to be sure.
"Yes, ma'am. I'll be right back." Yancey went to EJ’s room and led the small boy to the front room by his hand. EJ stood directly in front of his grandmother and stared unabashedly at her. “Say hey to Mama Lynn, baby.”
“Hey, Ma Lynn,” EJ said. He grinned immediately after Lynn bestowed her smile on him.
Lynn's eyebrows raised and her mouth dropped open. EJ looked just like Justin when Justin was a young child, especially when he smiled even though those dimples were obviously Yancey’s. The eyes were darker than Justin’s, but they still held those piercing, insightful qualities that Justin's possessed. He had Justin’s curly hair, although with EJ’s current style, it was hard to tell. “Why do you cut his hair?”
“It got too long for me to deal with. It grows so fast. I could hardly wait until his first birthday to cut it.” At Lynn’s confused look, Yancey explained, “It’s like an old wives’ tale. It's supposed to be bad luck if you cut the baby's hair before the first birthday. If you cut the fingernails before the first birthday, the child'll be a thief. My mama told me. Oh, and no setting him on the table because he'll be late walking.”
“Oh,” Lynn laughed. “I get it."
She stood up from the couch and gathered her purse close to her. Her face held a thoughtful expression as she spoke. “Yancey, I want you to talk with Justin as soon as you get a chance. This thing has got to be resolved.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Lynn bent down to talk to her grandson. “EJ, would you like to spend the day with me sometime?”
EJ looked up at his mother, who smiled and nodded. He beamed at Lynn.
“I think that’s a yes.”
“Great, sweetie. One day? Next week maybe? Is that all right with you, Mommy?” Lynn looked up at Yancey.
“Perfectly fine.”
Lynn said her goodbyes and left the apartment, fully intending to visit Justin at his home and talk to him about what she had just seen.
**************
Justin opened the door for his mother. “Hey, Mama.”
“I just came from Yancey’s,” she announced unceremoniously as she walked past him. “I saw him.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes, and I don’t know why you’re fighting this.”
Justin ran a tired hand over his face, watching as his mother plopped down on a chair. Lynn had never thrown herself onto a seat in her life. What was going on?
“I’m not fighting anything. Are you upset with me?”
“I sure am. I saw that boy today, and, seriously Justin, I fell in love with him. First sight. You should march right over there, resolve things with her, and get to know your son--“
“That’s exactly what this is all about, Mama,” he tried to explain. Lynn waved her hand impatiently, not wanting to hear it. He moved closer to her and kneeled at her feet. His eyes, so much like hers, looked up at her, tears forming. “I caught just a glimpse of him last night, before my mind told me that she had a child and a boyfriend and no room for me in her life. After that, I shut down, from fear of losing her all over again, until she told me the news. I didn’t know how to take it, so I walked out on her. I still don’t. All night last night, my mind kept going back to that glimpse, Mama, of that little boy. I do believe he’s mine. And I want to get to know him.
“I would love to go over there right now, but I’m scared.”
Lynn placed her hands on either side of his head and looked into his eyes. She saw the truth behind his words, each one ringing with a painful sincerity that twisted knots into her heart. “Why are you scared?”
“He doesn’t know me, Mama. I can’t go over there and just try to jump in like I’d been there all the time. She took that away from me, and I can’t get those years back.”
“He’s only two and a half, Justin. A baby. It doesn’t matter.”
“It does! I never imagined having a child that I didn’t know about. I always imagined being there for my child’s first everything. His first steps, first words, hell, even the first time he turned over in his crib. I wanted to raise my child, be there. I’d planned on being there all the time, so I could experience all that.”
Suddenly Lynn felt that she understood part of Yancey’s motives. “Justin, you couldn’t have been there all the time and still have had the career that you have.”
“Honestly, Ma? I probably would have made my career secondary.”
Lynn looked into her son’s eyes again and was saddened yet proud to see that he meant every word he said.
Number of reviews: 20
Print:
Chapter or Story