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It was four o'clock Monday afternoon, and Yancey was on her way to her parents’ house from work. For eight hours a day, she was a caregiver at the McClintock Center for Mentally Retarded Citizens, providing personal, direct care to the clients on her building, either assisting with or actively doing everything from bathing to feeding the middle-aged women, who ranged from mildly to severely handicapped. There wasn’t much skill involved or education required for the job, so the pay wasn't much, and the pay she did receive barely covered her rent, utilities, and food. Still, it was the best she could do on six weeks' short notice, and most days after work she perused the classified ads in hopes of finding a better job. Yancey thanked her mother everyday in prayer and in person for taking care of EJ during the day. Yancey also thanked her parents for wanting to double whatever she put aside for law school every month; she had promised to pay it all back one day.
Yancey pulled her car into the driveway, just behind her father's car, and parked. She noticed an E-Class Mercedes Benz, sparkling with apparent newness in all its midnight-blue glory, parked alongside the curb in front of the yard.
“Somebody is ballin’ big time,” she muttered as she walked to the front door. As was her habit, she knocked before turning the doorknob. “Mama? EJ? Daddy?”
She heard no feet running to meet her at the door this time. Instead she heard boisterous laughter coming from the living room. Curiosity got the better of her as she moved down the hall towards the noise, wanting to see why her father was home in the middle of the day and why the laughter accompanying his sounded so much like Mama Lynn's.
She came to a stop at the entrance of the living room. The sight that greeted her would have normally made her laugh, but today it made her blood run a tad less warm.
EJ was sitting in the middle of the room, banging on the kiddie drum between his legs, the drum he'd gotten for his last birthday. Yancey could tell he was getting ready to sing the lyrics to his favorite song, "Jesus Loves The Little Children." The way his body swayed from side to side as if each erratic beat was synonymous with perfect rhythm, his eyes partially closed in concentration, showed his mother that he was about to put on the performance of a lifetime, just because of the special guests who were watching him intently.
Lynn was sitting on the couch, a cautious smile on her face. Yancey wanted to smile in answer, but the man sitting next to Lynn threw all of Yancey's thoughts and feelings into limbo. The plans she had started the previous night on exactly how to work Justin into her son's life slowly--if Justin wanted to be worked in, that is--were completely thrown into the air. Justin had interrupted her plans, however unintentionally, and was next to his mother on the couch, being entertained by his son's singing and drum-banging.
That damn boy, Yancey fumed silently as she made her way into the room into plain view of everyone, plastering a small, fake smile onto her face.
"Hey, Yancey. We didn't hear you come in," her father whispered in greeting, not wanting to disturb EJ's musically-induced reverie.
"I did," Justin piped up, his eyes momentarily leaving EJ to look at her. "I saw when she came to stand at the entrance there, too. Good afternoon."
She blinked furiously, resisting the urge to roll her eyes in his direction. She felt as if she couldn't possibly explain in words how much she did not want to see or talk to him at that particular moment. "Hello, Justin. Hey Ma, Mama Lynn, Daddy."
EJ's eyes opened all the way at the sound of his mother's voice. He abandoned the small instrument and reached up to her for a hug. She went to him, now smiling genuinely.
"Hey, Little Man. What's going on?" she asked, instinctively smoothing his hair. Time for another haircut, she reflected mentally.
As EJ talked extensively--as extensively as his toddler vocabulary would allow--about his day, Yancey tried to catch her mother's eye. Ada saw this and purposely avoided any eye contact with her daughter. She didn't want to tell her daughter that she had invited Justin and Lynn over to the house. Yancey probably thought they had shown up uninvited. Well, let her think that, Ada thought.
"That's good, baby. So you were playing drums for the nice man and Mama Lynn?" Justin heard her ask. He felt his eyes narrow, then tried to calm himself. 'Nice man'? What about 'Daddy'? Why was she stalling on introducing him to his son? He had spent the last two hours in the Jacobs' house, talking with a very receptive and lively EJ. They had eaten supper together, and they had even played with a few of EJ's toys right there in the living room.
"Mama, can I talk with you for just a minute. In the kitchen," Yancey asked in statement form after EJ patted her cheek to indicate that he was finished talking to her. He ambled in the direction of his grandfather and "Ma Lynn", who were speaking quietly to each other.
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"What are they doing here?" Yancey hissed once they were inside the kitchen and out of earshot of those in the living room.
"Wait a minute. Just who do you think you talking to?"
Yancey realized that her tone was a bit harsh and cleared her throat. "I'm sorry. But why are they here?"
"What other reason would they have to be here? Justin wants to get to know his son. They've been here since about two. You should see the two of them together, Yancey, they're so c--"
"Ma, there was a way I wanted to go about this. This wasn't it."
“Everything doesn’t revolve around you and your little schedules, Yancey!” Ada snapped. “EJ’s father is in the next room, waiting to be included in his son’s life. And what’s stopping him? You are. You’re worried about how this will affect you--and don’t say otherwise because I know how you think--and although I believe you already realize it, ain’t none of this about you. It’s about that baby in there who deserves to have his father in his life.
“I didn’t raise any of my children to be selfish. Please don’t start acting like it.”
Yancey was speechless. She’d spent her childhood being spoiled by her parents, but they had never had to speak to her in a manner such as the one her mother had just used. Her first reaction, as always when someone spoke harshly to her, was to cry, but this time she managed to contain it.
“Are we done?” Ada pursed her lips and folded her arms across her chest as if she knew there couldn’t be any answer other than 'yes' trying to make its way through Yancey’s lips.
“Yes, ma’am.” What else could she say? She wouldn’t dare argue with her mother.
“Good. Come on back to the living room so those two can get to know each other.” Ada spun on her heels to leave.
“I want to talk to Justin first. Can you send him in here?” Yancey asked just when her feet prepared to follow Ada.
Ada waved her hand in acknowledgement of the request but did not turn around. She continued through the entryway and the door swung back and forth until Justin made his appearance moments later.
“Your mom said you wanted to see me.” He took a seat at the kitchen table, motioning for her to join him there. Instead, she crossed her arms and moved farther away.
“I wanted to talk to you. We have to talk about some things before I call my baby--“
“Our baby,” Justin corrected, smiling.
“Before I call him in here. First of all, I want to apologize.” She stopped, hesitant about continuing.
Justin saw the uncertainty in her face. He half-rose from his seat, to comfort her like he had done in the past. She waved for him to sit back down as soon as he stood from the table.
“I want to apologize because I caused you to miss two years of… our son’s life. I apologize for any heartache you may have been feeling the past couple of days. I want to explain, as best I can, why the two of you were kept apart for so long.”
“We don’t have to talk about that right now--“ he began.
“I need to. Remember the other night when I said I thought our lives were going in different directions? You were on your way to fulfilling your music dreams and I was going to college. When we broke up--“
“You broke up with me,” he reminded her, just so she kept in mind that the decision had not been totally mutual.
“When that happened, I already knew I was pregnant. You were hardly around anymore, traveling here and there, trying to get your record deal like you’d always told me about. With a child on the way, I knew you’d probably think I was holding you back, so I kept quiet. I thought I was doing it for you.”
Justin idly noted the tiny red dots that were beginning to pop up in his vision. He retorted angrily, “Why didn’t you talk to me about it instead of refusing my damn calls and breaking up with me over the fucking phone?”
He softened his tone when he saw her bite her bottom lip. He remembered how she had always done that to keep her eyes from tearing. “Having a child with you wasn’t on my mind at the time, because we were young, but I’d have appreciated you telling me you were pregnant. I like making my own decisions.”
Yancey could hear in his voice that nothing she was saying meant anything to him. Why couldn’t he see that she’d done what she had because she’d loved him? Apparently he was not in an understanding mood.
The room got quiet, the air thick with more unmade apologies and three-year-old unresolved issues.
“Hey,” she said, just to hear any sound in the room other than the irritating whir of the refrigerator and the occasional piece of ice dropping from the icemaker.
“What?” he answered distractedly. He had been partially lost in thoughts he felt he shouldn’t be having. Did she realize how cute and sexy she looked just standing there in her work clothes?
“I guess it’s time. For you two to officially meet, I mean.”
Justin snapped out of his lustful daydream. “Wait, I’m--I’m not ready.”
“What do you mean you’re not ready? You just left him a few minutes ago. And my mama said you’ve been here with him since two o’clock.”
He shook his head. “It’s not the same thing… I’m about to be introduced to my son for the first time. I want to make a good impression. I need to--I need to… I don’t know, do something to prep--Wow, this is harder than I thought it would be.”
Yancey repressed her desire to smile at his nervousness; it was quite cute, really. Something came to her mind so abruptly it startled her. She was really about to do this. She couldn’t wait to see Justin’s interaction with their son. Don’t worry, she said to him in her thoughts as she went to retrieve EJ. You'll be great with him.
She was gone no longer than half a minute and led EJ into the kitchen by his hand, her steps quick and abbreviated to accommodate his short stride. Upon her reentrance, she saw that Justin was no longer seated at the table. He had moved to lean against the sink, the anxious fingers he was tapping on the counter belying the pretense of coolness and calm that he was trying to portray.
She did not tell him that she doubted EJ would know what “Daddy” would mean. It would probably be just another word to him. Yancey prayed, for Justin’s sake, that EJ showed some reaction to the news. She knelt down so that she and her son were eye to eye. “EJ, you know I’m your mommy. And you know what that means, don’t you? It means that I love you a whole lot. Well, this--“ Yancey motioned for Justin to come closer, and he came to stand beside them. “This… this is your daddy--“
“And that means I love you, too,” Justin blurted out, uncertainty written all over his face. Yancey’s hand found his and squeezed it, a sign of her silent encouragement.
The memory of what happened next would always remind Yancey never to underestimate her son’s intelligence level again.
EJ broke into a broad grin and reached up to Justin, wanting to be held. He soon was sitting on his father’s left arm, his own arms wrapped around Justin’s neck. Justin did not feel like a stranger to him; Yancey could sense the familiarity her son felt. EJ leaned in closer to Justin’s face and spoke with a knowing smile in his voice. “Daddy.”
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