How Did I Fall In Love With You?
Based on and containing the song performed by The Backstreet Boys

He paced the floor restlessly, checking his watch every two minutes, growing more agitated by the moment.

He growled out loud, his hands raking through his hair in frustration. She was never late, so he couldn’t believe that she would be less than punctual on today of all days.

Finally letting the worry take over, he snatched up his cell from the table, flipping it over to access the keypad.

He absently looked up as the door was thrown open and Joe walked in, box in hand. JC’s finger stopped dialing her number, eyebrows rising up as the package was thrust in front of him.

“What’s this?”

“It’s from Kate.”

“Where is she?” Worry laced his voice as he set his cell phone down, still not reaching out for the medium sized box.

“She told me to give this to you. I think it’ll explain everything.”

And so JC sat, still not even half dressed, with the box in his lap, hesitating before slowly ripping the paper wrapping away. He lifted the lid off, and moved the tissue paper aside to find the letter lying on the top of a few other items.

He bit his lip as he ran his fingertip underneath the seal of the envelope, his fingers clumsily pulling out the folded paper.
 

Hey Josh,

By now you know that I’m not there. I’m so sorry for skipping out on your big day. I can’t apologize enough. I just don’t think I could take it, being in that church and watching while you commit yourself to that . . . wonderful woman. (Obviously, that isn’t what I wanted to say, but I can be nice. She’s your woman.)

He shook his head with a small smile, despite the blatant jab towards Laura. The rambling was just so . . . Katie. He let his eyes travel lower over the familiar flowing cursive.
 

Anyway, I really don’t think I could handle it. I don’t know if it’s just because it’s you, or maybe it’s all me. I’ve looked for that kind of love my entire life. For the first time, I’m jealous because of what you have. I thought I might have found it once, but, like all good things, it left in the blink of an eye.

Oh, God. I told myself I wouldn’t get sappy here, but I’ve gone and done it anyway. I just wanted to let you know that I wish you the best from here on out. And that she’d better be good to you. I hope you’ve found that happiness you were always looking for.

There’s some good news on my part here. I got a promotion this week. I’m leaving for the New York offices this afternoon, to act as producer on the debut album for Storm, one of Jive’s new groups. Wish me luck. I’ll need it.

I guess it’s about that time, huh? Have one of the guys give you a big hug for me and take care of yourself.

There’s so much more I wish I could say to you, but I’ll just mess it up if I try. Please don’t think badly of me for leaving it at this.

Oh, and please don’t just toss the box aside like you usually do. Get the present out and look at it first.

Look me up if you’re ever in the Big Apple, okay?

All my love,

Katie

He had to swallow back the lump that had formed in his throat as he folded the letter carefully and slipped it back into the envelope to set it aside.

He pulled out some more tissue paper until he found a new Sony Discman with a Post-It note attached to it.
 

This is to replace the one I broke last month. Hit ‘play’ and dig a little further.

He slipped the headphones over his ears and pressed the button, piano music instantly filling his ears. He shook his head when he couldn’t place the melody and dug to the bottom of the box.

Right when his fingers closed over the edge of what felt like a CD case, her voice filled his ears, making him jump.

He gripped the case and let the box fall to the floor, spilling tissue paper all around him.

His eyes trailed over the cover, at least, what he could see of it.

Another Post-It was stuck across much of the picture.
 

Surprise. This is my baby. I hope you’re as proud of me as I am of it. Everything I’ve ever wanted to say is on here, in the only way that I can say it. Skip through the songs if you like, but I think the titles speak for themselves.

He crumpled up the note and tossed it to the side, his fingers trailing over the cover.

She’d been on the beach for the shot, in a long light purple dress, her hair crimped and hanging around her shoulders. She wasn’t looking at the camera. They’d caught her walking, facing out over the ocean as the sun came up, her eyes closed and a gentle smile gracing her features.
 

She’s beautiful.

He turned the case over, his eyes trailing over the track listing. He stopped on the last track and he could feel his heartbeat increase as his thumb pressed the button to skip ahead.

Another piano introduction, and then she began.

Remember when we never needed each other
The best of friends, like sister and brother
We understood we’d never be alone
Those days are gone, now I want you so much
The night is long and I need your touch
Don’t know what to say,
Never meant to feel this way
Don’t want to be alone tonight
What can I do to make you mine?
Fallen so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?
I hear your voice and I start to tremble
Brings back the child that I resemble
I cannot pretend that we can still be friends
Don’t want to be alone tonight . . .

He dropped back down into his seat, his hands covering his face as he tried not to cry.

She’d been there all this time. Everything he’d ever wanted, all in one package. She had loved him, accepted him, and embraced him from the very beginning.

And he’d turned his back on everything she had to offer, gone to someone else.

Thinking back, he started to realize that those glances, those smiles that she gave only to him, ever since they were little, had always held just the right amount of love and support to get him through.

He hadn’t realized it then, but he saw it now. He knew now that she’d had the same feelings that he’d had for the longest time.

And now he was too late.

I want to say this right, and it has to be tonight
Just need you to know
Don’t want to live this life
Don’t want to say goodbye
With you I want to spend the rest of my life
What can I do to make you mine?
Fallen so hard, so fast this time
Everything’s changed, we never knew
How did I fall in love with you?

Or was he? “Joe!”

Joey stuck his head back in the room. “Hey man, you’ve got, like, ten minutes. Get dressed.”

“What time is her flight, Joe?”

“What?”

“Kate’s flight. What time is Katie’s flight?”

“In forty-five minutes. Now get dressed. People are waiting.” He pulled his head back out of the door, a knowing grin spreading across his face as he nodded to the other three.

“Like heck they are.” JC pushed his way through the door, still in an extreme state of undress, and turned to Lance. “Can I borrow your car? I’m blocked in.”

“No way, man.” The younger man laughed at the threatening look he received. “Not with the way you drive. But I’ll give you a lift.”

“Great.” JC grabbed his jacket sleeve, pulling him down the hallway. “Which airport, Joe?”

“Lance knows.”

“Wonderful.”

They raced through the back door of the church, and made a beeline to the car.

Two doors slammed shut, and right as the ignition was turned on, the two rear doors opened, and the backseat filled.

“This isn’t a family affair.” JC craned his neck around to see Justin holding out a pair of jeans.

“We thought you might like to get dressed before you grovel. Although, something tells me that naked might win some bonus points.”

He grinned as he took the clothes. “I need to call my mother and let her know what’s going on. That it’s off.”

Chris handed him a pair of sneakers and reached for his cell phone. “Let me. I have a feeling she won’t be that broken up about it.”

The phone beeped as he pushed buttons, then “Hey Mrs. C. He’s with us and we’re going after her. Yeah, he’s getting dressed as we speak. No, he’s not coming back. Do you want to handle it, or should we deal with it after this is finished? Okay, I’ll tell him.”

JC cast a disbelieving look over his shoulder. “You guys brought my mother in on this?”

“She says good luck. And it was more like she brought us in on it. Apparently, Katie wasn’t very convincing of her drive to go to New York. She started crying before she even got finished telling your mom about it, and the rest just kind of came out. You know she loves you, right?”

“My mom had better love me.”

“Not your mom, you moron. Katie.”

“Yeah, I know Katie loves me. She has for a while.”

Lance glanced over at him. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Are you just going after her to get her to stay, or is there more to it?”

“Lance, I just blew off my own wedding, stood up my fiancée, and threw away a chance with a great woman. What do you think?”

“I don’t know. Just how great a woman was she?”

JC shook his head as he answered. “Not as great as Kate.”

“So you really care for Katie, right?”

“I love Katie. I’ve loved her for as long as I can remember. Satisfied?”

“Hey, that’s good enough for me. But I’m not the one you have to worry about convincing.”

“I know.” He swallowed nervously when they passed the sign announcing the turnoff for the airport. He closed his eyes, said a quick prayer for luck, and took a few deep breaths.

Everything’s going to be okay.

He raced through the terminal, glancing quickly at his watch.

Five minutes.

She had to be here somewhere.

“Attention passengers. American Flight 6598 to New York is now boarding at gate 3H.”

He looked up and caught the sign identifying her gate and took off in a dead run, pushing several people out of the way with hurried apologies.

His gaze traveled quickly over the seating area, praying to see her amongst the waiting passengers.

Several people moved over to stand in the line boarding the plane, and he caught a glimpse of a familiar figure between the bodies of two older ladies.

He moved around them quickly, to find her sitting on the edge of one of the chairs, her elbows resting on her knees and her face in her hands.

He breathed a sigh of relief and took a few steps closer, gathering his nerves as he did.

Her hair spilled down over her shoulders, and she repeatedly tucked it back behind her ears to keep it out of her face. With each movement of her hand, he saw the tears that were streaming down her cheeks.

Then her shoulders rose as she took a deep breath, and she stood with a shake of her head, leaning down to pick up her carry on bag and ticket before moving to join the line of passengers.

It was now or never, and he steeled his shoulders, gathered his nerves, and walked steadily up to her.

She gasped and turned when his hand touched her shoulder, her eyes widening when they rested on his face. “Josh? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be . . .”

“Surely you didn’t think I’d take all of that and not do anything about it,” he interrupted, his eyes roaming over her head and out the window. “You thought I’d ignore all that?”

“Well, I kind of figured that you would,” she admitted. “I’m so sorry for ditching you today, for ruining it for you, but I just couldn’t do it. You know, watch while you . . . well, it doesn’t matter now, does it?”

“Doesn’t it?” he questioned, his eyes meeting hers. “I listened to track fourteen.”

“You did, huh?” She shifted restlessly from one foot to the other, quickly averting her eyes to the side. “Not my best work, but I figured it belonged there.”

“I’d have to disagree,” his hands dove into his pockets. “Just one question, though.”

“Yeah?”

“Who did you write it for?” His eyes were fixed on her face, on the tears threatening to fall from her eyelashes, and had to keep himself from reaching out and pulling her to him.

“You have to rub it in, don’t you?” Her eyes became angry as she met his gaze. “I was so stupid to give that to you. I shouldn’t have put that song on there at all. You want to hear it? Fine. It was for you. For a long time, everything was for you. I gave so much to you. I gave you my all, but you couldn’t have cared less, could you? I was a constant, a buddy, a convenience for you to keep around for whenever you didn’t have anybody else. And I was the idiot who thought that things could change, that you could see me as more than your good friend Kate. I couldn't have been more wrong.”

She started to walk away from him, to rejoin the end of the ticket line, but he grabbed her arm, pulled her back.

“Don’t insult yourself. Why couldn’t I . . .”

“Right. Exactly. Why couldn’t you? Why didn’t you? I’m done putting myself down. I won’t hope anymore. When it happens, it happens, and this time, crap happened. But that’s life. And I have to get over it. I have to get over you. I’ve never felt so jealous of anyone, until I started envying you. I used to wonder what exactly I thought would happen, then I’d start to daydream about scenes in the movies and all that crap. But this isn’t a movie. Pain happens and it cuts deep. But nothing hurt worse than when I realized that you would never feel what I felt.”

The tears were streaming freely now, and she made no move to wipe them away.

He moved closer to her, his heart beating double-time as he took a long look at what he had unknowingly done to his best friend, the pain that she had gone through.

“What did you feel Katie? Tell me.”

She gave him an amazed look. “You seriously don’t know? After all this, you still don’t know anything about me, do you? Okay, I’ll spell it out for you. I fell for you, Josh. I fell hard. I was so in love with you that I couldn’t see straight. And you completely ignored me. It wasn’t supposed to happen that way, you know. God, why did it happen like that? Why did I have to love you?”

She tried to turn away again, but he held firm, turning her around and pulling her into his embrace.

She looked up at him in shock and was about to push him away when his lips crushed against hers, deafening her protests into mumbles against his mouth.

He pulled away and smiled down into her shocked eyes. “My turn. I tried not to notice you, Katie, because I thought it would complicate things, and I didn’t want that. You should have said something sooner. Why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t think you wanted to know.” She leaned her forehead against his chest, sighing miserably. “You just didn’t seem to care.”

“I don’t think I could have cared more.” He tightened his arms around her, freeing one hand to turn her face up. “It would have been so much easier to fall together, don’t you think?”

Her eyes widened. “What?”

“I’ve loved you for a long time, Katie. It just never seemed to be the right time or place to mention it. And I didn’t want to lose you as a friend if you didn’t feel the same.”

“Let me get this straight. I love you, you love me, but we were both afraid to say anything?” She paused as he nodded his head. “And now that we actually get it out in the open, it’s too late. I’m supposed to be getting on a plane in a few minutes, and you’re supposed to be getting married. Figures.”

He laughed as she leaned her forehead against his chest and groaned. “I’m not getting married.”

“You’re not?”

“I’m here, aren’t I? I opened your gift with about ten minutes to spare and I cut out of there as quick as I could. My mother kind of figured it would happen that way. She and the guys know me better than I know myself, I guess. I heard that song and I was off and running.”

“But what about Laura?”

“I can see things clearly now, and I know that I was using her as a fill in. I figured if I couldn’t have you, then I’d try to find someone who could at least try to measure up.”

“But you could have had me.”

“I didn’t know that. I just knew it was driving me crazy to have you so close and not have you that I had to do something. The entire time, I was wishing she was you.”

“But she . . .”

“I’m going to lay it out on the table. Laura is a great girl. She’s pretty and all that, but she’s not you. I don’t want to spend my life wishing for something that I can’t have. I want and need you. I love you, Katie, and if . . .” His words were cut off when she reached up and pulled his head down so that she could press her lips against his.

She was insistent, and he sighed against her lips as he gave in and let her take whatever she wanted, pulling her tighter against him as her arms wound around his neck, holding on as if she was afraid he would vanish.

Never again, Katie.

She was his and he wasn’t going anywhere.

Two elderly women watched from their seats on the other side of the aisle, exchanging smiles before turning back to their newspapers, completely oblivious to the four guys huddled up just a few yards behind them, exchanging grins and high fives.

Kate pulled away slightly, pressing her lips against his cheek before resting her head against his shoulder.

“Just so you know, this gives me a lot of leverage against you, Josh.”

“How so?” He absently ran his fingers through her hair, watching it fall back down against her back, before smiling and pressing a kiss against her forehead.

“You didn’t have the guts to say ‘I love you’ first.” She grinned up at him, that old light of mischief lighting up her eyes. “So you have a lot of making up to do.”

“I do, huh?”

“Yep.”

He cupped her cheeks and kissed her softly once more. “Good.”