To put it simply, Angela was heart broken. The man she loved had not only cheated on her, but had gotten the woman pregnant. How could she have been so wrong about him? She had missed him so much while she had been in California working with the west coast editor of the magazine she worked for. Between her flying places and him flying all over to record his new album, they were hardly even seeing each other. The only thing that got her through it all was the fact that they talked daily on the phone and through e-mail. Although the trip was mostly about business, she was glad some of her friends tagged along so they could go star searching.
She would have been lying if she had told anyone she didn’t love him. She loved him like she’d never loved anybody else. He was, to her, a godsend. Her prince charming, her Romeo, her sun, moon and stars. He meant the world to her. She was convinced she wanted to spend forever with him. She wanted to hear him promise her forever and always. She wanted to see a glittering sign of promise on her finger.
But that would never come.
He had promised her, at the beginning of their relationship, that he would never hurt her. He had told her that he respected her choices and decisions and he would never pressure her into something she didn’t want to do. In all honesty, he never pressured her. He always made her feel very comfortable. He treated her like a princess. When she had asked him not to make her tabloid fodder, he made sure no one stalked them down and photographed them. He kept their relationship a secret from the press, amazingly. She knew how brutal the paparazzi could be, but Justin assured her that he would do his best to keep her protected. He told her he’d move mountains to make her happy. For the most part, he succeeded in that department.
And then he went behind her back and ended up breaking her heart. All of the promises he made he kept, except one. The promise about not hurting her. His plan had backfired. She never would have known he had another woman on the side, had she not gotten pregnant. So this is what heartbreak feels like, she thought. Sure, she’d had her share of break-ups, but none of them felt like this. None of the pain from them measured up to this. All of the times she thought her heart had been broken, she had been wrong. This was the kicker.
She wanted more than anything for all of this to go away. She wished none of this had ever happened. She wanted to still be with him. She wished their relationship were back to the way it used to be. She loved being with him. She’d never been with anyone so perfect. Perhaps perfect wasn’t the right word. He was amazing. Sure, he had his flaws, but in her eyes, he was perfect. The epitome of perfection. He had an amazing body, a great sense of humor; he said the right things (not always, but for the most part), knew how to be sensitive, had a great personality, was actually a pretty good cook, the master of charm and was a beautiful person. His good qualities outweighed his flaws.
She knew that she shouldn’t still want to be with him. She knew that she deserved someone who wouldn’t cheat on her and go behind her back. She knew that he had caused her pain and she found it easier to dislike him when she remembered that. Despite the fact that she loved him so much, as the minutes turned to hours, she found it easier to not want to be with him. She knew that she had done the right thing by pushing his away.
She had let her walls fall away because of his bright blue eyes and dazzling smile. His charm had taken over because she was naïve. His perfection had taken her heart prisoner and as much as it broke her heart to push him away, she had to.
She refused to cry. She was better off without him.
