“Where are we going?” Justin asked.
“I’ll tell you when we get there.” Was all Madison said. She was gripping the steering wheel so tight, her knuckles were turning white, and she had to remind herself to keep breathing. Glancing outside, she was haunted by the run-down apartment buildings with their broken windows, and grafittied walls.
She hadn’t realized that she had parked the car and turned off the engine. Justin’s warm hand touched her face, “Maddy, are you alright?” He asked, concerned that the color had drained from her face.
She shuddered at his touch, turning her head to face him, “I’m fine.” She said, getting out of the car.
He quickly followed her out of the car, grasping her hand tightly. He followed her as she led him twenty feet down the street. Then he followed her into an old apartment building, then up the stairs, all the way into an apartment. “Maddy,” he began.
She turned to him, quieting him with her index finger grazing across his mouth. “I haven’t been completely honest with you, Justin,” she said. Tears began to brim her eyes, “my mother never left, exactly.” She said, taking a shaky breath, “she was thrown in jail.”
Justin’s eyes widened a bit, but he remained silent.
Madison let go of his hand, “this is where I lived.” She kicked the wall, “I lived in this shit-hole for five years. Every night, when my mom would leave, Joel and I would sit right here and we’d cry. We’d cry over and over again, but no one came. Celeste was too much of a crack addict to even remember she had two children at home.” She wiped at her eyes, and Justin’s heart began to break. “I didn’t tell you because I don’t want to be that little girl anymore, Justin. I love you, and I want you to be proud of me. I didn’t want you to know I was this piece of trash. But that’s what I really am.” She cried softly.
Justin walked over to her, his thumb wiping a few stray tears, “there isn’t anything to be ashamed of, Maddy.”
“Look around, Justin. There is a lot to be ashamed of.”
“Now that I know you grew up here, I have never been more proud of you in my life.” He said.
She cried softly, and leaned into his embrace, “I’m sorry I lied.”
He wrapped his arms around her torso, “I know you are.”
She sighed, “I thought you’d hate me. I thought I’d lose you.”
Justin let go of her, and placed his hands on her face, “I promise you, Maddy, I would never hate you. You’re never going to lose me. Ever.”
She glanced up at his eyes. The waves of deep blue sea penetrated into her own, and she felt safe in this old apartment. She felt comfort, and love. It didn’t matter where she came from. It never did. He was her life now. Her husband. Her one and only. How had she been so silly to even second guess him? They had each other forever.
His head dipped down, and his lips captured her own, sweetly and sensuously. “Let’s go home.” He said.
She nodded, “I love you.”
“Will you do me a favor?” Justin asked Madison as she sat down next to him on the swing on their back porch, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders.
“Anything.” She said.
“Tell me more about your mother.” He said, “I want to know.”
Madison sighed, and nodded. “I guess I was about three when she started. I don’t really remember. Whenever she was home though, it was weird. Different, I don’t know. She never worked after my dad walked out. I loved her though,” she paused. “I loved her, and I told her I loved her. I was only five, but I knew she was sick. Joel knew too. I guess that’s when I started hating her.” She wiped at her eyes. “I hated everything about her. I hated the fact that she left us alone all night. I hated the fact that Joel and I had to cry ourselves to sleep every night.”
“I remember the day she was arrested.” She said, “I bet you it was the one day she was actually clean, because she decided to take us to the park. We were so happy that day.” She trailed off.
Justin reached for her hand. “This wasn’t your fault, you know. She was the adult.”
“We were abandoned.” Madison said, “She left us every night to party.”
“Maddy…”
“What if that was me?” She asked.
He was confused, “what are you talking about?”
She looked at him, “what if I abandon my children?”
Justin squeezed her hand, “you aren’t your mother, Maddy. That would never happen.”
“It’s a scary thought,” she said, “but it could happen. I could screw up.”
“Don’t even talk like that.” Justin said, pulling her against him. “You have me. We will be great parents. Fun parents. Loving parents.” He promised.
She nodded.
Number of reviews: 6
Print:
Chapter or Story