Ok has anyone heard that song? I love that song, its been my favorite for awhile now and its picking up here in America. Anyways this story is based off the song and the UK version of the video. Here's a link if you wanna check it out http://today.launch.yahoo.com/player/player.asp?cid=505&ps=&sx=ondemand%2Exml&vid=1095801&bw=undefined&fs=&referer=undefined&resize=1 newwindow]today.launch.yahoo.com/player/player.asp?cid=505&ps=&sx=ondemand%2Exml&vid=1095801&bw=undefined&fs=&referer=undefined&resize=1 or hear track here http://groups.msn.com/MisteeqHeaven/audio.msnw thanks!
Now this is why I hate fucking clubs! You get up out of the comfort of your home, apartment, condo, car or cardboard box wherever you live, dressed your best, polished only for some fool to spill his damn cheap two dollar bill beer all over your fake Louis Vuitton outfit or if you’re really hitting it up the only piece of Donna Karan you could afford from Marshall Fields. And then when you complain you’re called a prissy bitch. Well excuse me for not liking the feeling of dampness for the rest of the night. Yes it will be for the rest of the night cuz yo’ chicken head friends (we all have a few and they know exactly who they are!) want to still party while you’re miserable, wet and dejected because someone just called you a bitch. That word is pretty hurtful and there’s not a woman in this world strong or not that can convince me that being called a bitch does nothing to their self esteem even if the lowlife that called you that looks like he’s got a pot to piss in. So with the conjunction of getting sticky from the beer, a ruined outfit, no numbers and being completely miserable doesn’t do enough then you have to fucking sit there and watch everyone else have a good time while you’re stuck in you’re measly little world with this watered down $6 dollar cosmopolitan. Six bucks for the damn drink along with standing in that long ass line just to get in for free to hate every minute of sitting there? I’m sure by now you’ve got the gist of why I absolutely, positively without a shadow of a fucking doubt hate clubs. Hell even trips to the gyno are better than this. At least you get felt up and told that you’re pretty much fine for the next six months. Here you don’t even get that. You get some lame ass Bob Marley reincarnated looking fool breathing down the back of your neck. I WANT OUT OF THIS PLACE!!!!!!
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He deserved it. That bastard deserved getting knocked in the mouth. Ok well he deserved that….maybe he didn’t deserved getting those kicks to the ribs but anybody he hurts my ma gets an ass kickin’ that’s for sure. Sorry but that’s how it is. My mother’s been divorced twice. She thought she had found someone in this guy Norm. I should’ve knew off the bat he was bad people. His name is Norm! What the fuck kind of name is that?! Anyways, I knew from the get he wasn’t nothing--a nobody. Not good enough for my moms but I have to respect her choices in men because well she’s an adult just like she respects mine. But we have this equal footing. I can respect them all I like, doesn’t mean I have to like them. Just like I didn’t like Norm. Always something about him I couldn’t put my finger on and I found out tonight when I came back home from hanging with my boys. Big ass black eye showed me what was wrong with Norm. Bastard couldn’t keep his hands to himself. Now that’s my mama. We don’t see eye to eye on everything but nobody and I mean nobody fucking touch my ma like that. So ol’ boy can’t keep his hands to himself? Well neither can I. Oh he’s gonna have a matching black eye just like he gave my mom with a few broken ribs and maybe a broken arm if I did it just right. Normally I’m not a violent guy, but come on you just don’t hit women! Yell, scream, punch a wall, bite a pillow whatever but hitting is off limits. And back to my previous point, plus that was my moms dude. So I handle business and I did just that. Caught that fool off guard but no one was more caught off guard than I was when one of that fools neighbors called the fucking police on me like I’m some criminal. Hello! He’s the one that gave my mom the black eye, I was just returning the favor. But I’ve had a few run ins before. Don’t get any ideas, I said I’m not violent. Yeah whatever I don’t care if you don’t believe me, I’m not! Back to the story, see got me all off track trying to convince you--anyways sirens are a big no no, so I’m out of there. I’ve delivered my citizen’s justice now its time to scram. I’m not too familiar with this neighborhood. They could really afford to put some damn street lights around here. I’m running all over the place trying to find an escape, got a damn rottweiler barely chained to a fence barking at me and shit. Ohh wee I should make a return tomorrow to beat his ass just for me being lost. Then I find sanctuary! Well not as in the church but a club.
“Club 24/7?” I say to myself. That’s a pretty lame name for a club…but then again I wouldn’t care if the club was called Pooponyourface/7 I need somewhere to hide, fast.
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Look at her, look her over there just a shaking her ass like she in some damn 50 cent video. Bitch probably on welfare, probably scraped up $10 cover charge to get in. Listen to me!! I’m so mean!! That girl could be in college to be a doctor…but really would a doctor be shakin her ass and tata’s like that? No. That’s it, I’m out of here. I’ve got just enough from my lame desk job to cover cab fare. But I don’t want to leave my friends without telling them that I’m leaving. I don’t need them blowing my cell with their constant cries of where am I. I’m home, that’s where! Or least about to be home. I find my friend Audrey basically bumpin and grinding against this fine ass boy. Damn…she always get the guys. Its because she looks all sweet and innocent but I know…I know. I’ll let you conjure up what you want with that one. I know if she’s rubbing up against some guy like this I can’t imagine what my friend Krystal is doing. She’s the ho of the group and it almost makes me nervous that if Audrey is getting dirty how bad Krys is getting. Ok that’s a whole ‘nother story.
“Audrey, I’m out of here!”
“What? What?!” Why? I’ll tell you why! I stink, my shirt is now pasted to my boobs and these damn shoes I thought I looked so cute in are killing my feet!
“Oh I’m getting sleepy” I lied.
“Quit lying, you don’t go to bed till 5 in the morning every night.” She would catch me in a lie right? They’re still dancing like I’m not even there which reaffirms that I need to go home before I lunge myself over this balcony unto the marble floor beneath us. But knowing my luck, it’ll turn into a mosh pit and I’ll be saved.
“I just wanna….” I just wanna what? Wait what was I about to say? Seriously my brain just froze. Just as I turned my head to leave I must say with all honest the finest and I do mean finest white boy just stepped up in the club. Granted there are other white people here but I mean he is just breaking the mold right there. We’re not even close and I feel shivers and tingles throughout my body just looking at him. Dag….
“You just wanna what?” Audrey asked.
“Get some” hopefully I didn’t say that too loud.
^*^
Though this club got a whack name I must admit its some fine tail in this box. You got a bit of everything, asian, black, Hispanic, white, Arabic and if I’m not mistaken the sexy bartender looks like she’s Indian. Damn I stepped in the right place. Music just right and it don’t really look like I got much competition on the male front so basically any girl is up for grabs. I’m gonna have to stop by here more often. Hmmm.. I try to make my way through the thick crowd of dancers to somewhere a bit further from the door when I get this distinct feeling that someone is watching me. Well I know I’m watching a lot of people but its like that feeling. You know what I’m talking about. No I’m not paranoid! Ok well I am a little bit, the police could be following me so I’m allowed to be a little bit if I wanna. But no I know for sure someone’s watching me….and then I find her. Standing about 20 feet away whispering something in this girl’s ear that’s basically dry humping this guy in front of her. Has anyone ever told her that three’s a crowd? Not a bad looking lady. Not bad at all…. Man when Ginuwine sung In those jeans my gravy he was talking about her. Curves out of this world that would make a man go crazy, preferably me. Tank top looks like it glued to her chest so I can tell off bat that she’s working with something upstairs in the chest department. They’re not all that big but I’m a booty man so that really doesn’t matter in my book. I can already tell that she got a big one. Ass so big you can see it from the front. Wait, wasn’t that in a song? And above all she is dead gorgeous. Not like any of the girls around my way. But then again all the girls around my way are these uppity I think I’m better than you kind of girls. Just looking at her you can tell she’s down to earth. I gotta meet her, I just gotta. My navigation is set and I’m making my way to stake my claim when all of sudden….
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…This fool walks up to me!!
“You wanna dance?” No Cedric the Entertainer or whatever your name is I do not want to dance with you. No, I got my sights set on white chocolate making his way towards me. Not some dolled up, alligator wearing, Cash money wanna be. Now stop looking at me like that. If he rolled up on you, you’d be thinking the same way.
“No I do not, beat it.” I didn’t mean to be that rude but man man is getting closer and closer! I don’t want him to get the wrong idea. This is not my date. It will never be my date. Not if you paid me one billion dollars. Well for a billion…wait no! Not even a billion. But he’s not getting the picture. He’s still standing all close, making my nauseous from his noxious cologne. What the hell is that he’s wearing? Shit smelling like my daddy’s boots after a long hot day.
“Beat it? How the fuck you thank (yup he said thank not think) you is?!” See this is another reason why I don’t like clubs. People can’t handle reject. If I ask someone and they so no I keep stepping, this guy here wanna argue. Like his argument is gonna totally convince me to step with him to the dance floor and become his love slave. Homie please.
“I thank (had to go there) I’m a little preoccupied at the moment? So step.”
“You thank you all that cuz you light skinned” yeah that’s the argument a choice. My lack of pigment makes me think I’m holier than thou because I’d rather not dance with someone who looked like they stared in Johnson family vacation. Damn and ol’ boy is getting closer. I’m getting nervous! I’m mean nervous nervous. First of all he steps in the club looking all good with his Sean John, stud in his ear so you know he got money and by some sheer miracle he’s coming my way and--why exactly his this dude still here?! Hasn’t he noticed by now that my attention is elsewhere? Like over his shoulder anxiously awaiting his arrival. But wait what if he’s not coming for me? What if there’s some prettier girl behind me? Like the booty shakin girl? He might have seen that ass and became transfixed while lowly ol’ me with my beer drenched shirt and Ceddie before me is pining after him. He probably not even coming this direction. Probably going to the bathroom and I swear if this dude don’t go on….
“Will you please leave me alone?” I begged like that was gonna get me somewhere.
“I ain’t doing shit! Leave you alone, let me tell you something bitch--”
“Call her bitch again and I will fucking gut your insides out.”
^*^
I’m a white boy so saying some crazy shit like that is believable. You know how we do. We go crazy on that ass, dress up in hockey masks with chain saws and shit. Only Candyman was black so its fathomable that I could be just as crazy as Jason and Mike Meyers. And boy did he get the point. When he turned around he had the look of horror on his face. Quickly he deserted the beautiful young woman that managed to get my attention from afar. And I must say up close she is even more striking. Don’t I sound like a romance novel character? “Sorry about that, I would never do anything like that. I just wanted to scare the shit out of him to leave you alone.”
“Thanks I appreciate it” she smiled. Wow she has one of those Colgate, Crest, Aqua fresh and all of the above smiles. That smile could light a small country and just between men and you I instantly feel a thump in my heart. My heart just skipped a beat….that’s funny coming from someone that just beat the shit out of someone. Like two awkward teens we’re scanning one another up and down. Good thing I dressed up pretty nice for hittin downtown with the guys because she’s looking at me like I’m looking at her. And you know how I’m looking at her….yes you do. I’m looking at her like I could throw her down in middle of floor not caring who’s around and getting that. But surprisingly I want more than just some wam bam thank you ma’am kind of lovin. Never really been that type of guy and today ain’t the start. This is the kind of girl you wanna lay on a bed full of rose petals surrounded by a warm glow of candles, soft love music with the window cracked so a soothing gentle breeze can flow across your bare bodies in the midst of making love. Yeah told you I sounded like one of those romance books. Guess you could say I’m a romantic kind of guys but if you tell my boys that I’ll deny it for the rest of my life. Everything from her head to her toes I get a good look at. Gotta make sure I’m looking at the woman I’m bringing home to momma expertly just in case I miss something cuz I don’t wanna go home waking ma up in the middle of the night about a girl with a mole if she don’t have one. While I’m just a staring a crowd of people kind of push us together. So close her breast are basically mashed against my chest. Nice. I catch a whiff of a mix of Escada Island and beer? Interesting but nevertheless probably the best smelling beer I’ve ever smelt.
^*^
Suddenly my song Scandalous starts to play. Now I’ve liked this song since ‘03 but since its just arrived in America everyone else is getting onto it. This is the kind of song that you can’t help but dance to and I find myself in what little room I have dancing against this guy. It was involuntary I swear!
“Do you wanna dance?” Please let him say yes…please let him say…
“Yeah” he says huskily. He soooo didn’t have to say it like that. The beat is hot, the bass is bumping in the floor and his warm body is slowly but surely grinding up against mine. Tightness or not I’m not about to half ass it on the dance floor so I go for it, get my grind on. Work them hips! Put some motion in the ocean. Yeah that was crappy anyways I got to work and surprisingly ol’ boy wasn’t too slow himself. At first I went a little easy on him believing that myth that white people can’t dance. Now hold on before you get a ‘tude might I remind you there are some white people out there that can dance better than black people any dance. Uh hello Wade Robeson for starters? My girl Audrey know how to throw down and I noticed how Christina Aguliera put something in that onion she call an ass in Dirrty thus proving that white people can dance just as well if not better than some black people but you still are sometimes a little apprehensive until they do their thing. Sorry but it’s the truth and let me tell you he did his thing. And I did mine…..a little too well because if I’m not mistaken something is poking me in the back. Woo! Dag now we both all hot and sweaty dancing against each other. Got my imagination on full speed, good grief! Then all of a sudden…
^*^
I pull her over to the side. You can smell a cop a mile away. Just because I know this doesn’t make me a bad person. You just know. Damn and just when the dancing was getting good! Had lil’ man all worked up and everything then they had to come. Surely they weren’t as dumb as I thought they were, coming into a crowded club cuz they assumed I ran in here and they were right. I did, ran right up in here and found myself a princess. Oh I ain’t letting go that easy no sir ree! I pulled her over to the side just behind a pillar so they could look all through the club so they wouldn’t see me.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“Cops.” Ohh…maybe that’s not a good thing to tell a girl. Especially on the first night, first impression. I looked around the pillar, oh shit I think they’re coming over here. “Forgive me” I said quickly before I clamped my mouth over hers. I knew she had soft lips! I knew it! And I was right, her soft full lips hit the spot more ways than one. There goes lil’ man again. Standing straight up too, I hope I don’t poke a hole in her stomach but it’ll be all her fault because she’s moving her tongue around in ways no other girl ever has with me. Slowly her hands descend up onto my face as if I’m gonna let go. Oh hon I ain’t going nowhere. I open my eyes for a split second to see the boys in blue heading out. Ha ha assholes you didn’t find me and I’m right under your nose. And just for calling the cops on me ol’ Norm is getting his car windows busted out. Don’t need any swollen knuckles cuz then I won’t be able to caress her skin like I plan on doing tonight or a many night for that matter.
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So the cops are following him huh? Dangerous….and as idiotic as this is about to sound, man that is so hot. You know good girls like bad boys right? So the cops are after him, I wonder why? I’m almost giddy to find out. Unless he really meant what he said about gutting people. Then he kisses me again. And I totally forget about all of that. All I can think about is how those lips would feel in other places. Ok bump this now its really time to go.
“Are you busy tonight?” I asked.
“No” ugh then he licks his bottom lip. Let me tell you, this boy has the lips of a King! Ugh!
“Do you wanna be busy tonight?” Yeah that sounded stupid but I can’t think straight after all of that, I just can’t!
“With you yeah.”
“Then let’s get out of here.” Grabbed my coat faster than you can say shazam and high tailed it to a cab that was sitting out back. But there’s just one thing, one thing we haven’t even addressed yet. “Um….”
“Its Justin” he smiled.
“Isabella.”
“Isabella I like that name.” Then there’s silence. A long awkward silence because what is there else to say. You’re coming home, we’re gonna go ape poopy between the sheets, maybe smoke a cigarette afterwards (even though I don’t smoke looks like the kind where it’ll be that good you have to smoke afterwards) and go for more. Yeah not a good conversation huh? “Oh and Isabella?”
“Yeah?”
“A one night stand just ain’t enough--we’re gonna get to know each other in more ways than one sweets. Count on it” he smiled. That smile if gonna be the death of me. So we’re gonna get to know each other in more ways than one eh? Well I can’t wait.
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