HE’S FUCKING MARRIED?! MARRIED?! Yup here laying in my hand is a marriage certificate. He married that twit Britney?! And didn’t bother to tell me?! What-the-tiahejfnuwrsgnlfvhsitng. Ok see that? Can’t think straight. I wanna just jump in my car and drive right over to Chris’ to give him an earful but no--no I’ll stay right here and stew in my own juices until he return. How could he not tell me this?! I mean we’ve been together for almost a year and not once has he told me that he was married. Maybe they got a divorce but then again if they did he wouldn’t be a chicken shit and not tell me. Girl you wouldn’t believe all the things that are swimming through my mind. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I love him, even though I’m fuming about this. Then there’s the other side of me. The angry black woman side that’s ready to go buck wild all over this. Better be lucky that damn doorbell is ringing because the thoughts playing over in my mind right now are edging towards not good.
"Coming!" Damn will they let up on that doorbell. We’re in an apartment, its not like the wait will be that fucking long. Throwing that shitty piece of paper to the side, I head to the door when there’s no other than my great pal Britney!! I hope you can tell I’m being sarcastic here. "What do you want?" I said flatly. Right now I’m not in the mood to deal with this bitch.
"I need to see Justin."
"Well he ain’t here."
"But its important."
"Call him then" Still to this day I don’t understand why he still talks to her. If he disliked her so much, why is she still around?
"He’s not picking up."
"Well then sounds like you’re SOL."
"SOL?"
"Shit out of luck, goodbye." I try to close the door but this fool blocks the door. Apparently she don’t want that little bony ass arm of hers because I’m about to break it off if she don’t move.
"Then I’ll wait."
"I don’t want company."
"But its important!!" she whined. Damn Justin wasn’t lying when he said he whine is horrific. That it is, but maybe it’s a power move. Have an annoying voice=get your way. Which she did because the twit is now sitting on my couch like she live here or something. "Can you like get me some water or something?" Be nice Isabella, Papa Ray taught you to be courteous even to your enemies. So I get up off my duff and give her some water. "No ice?" AAAAARRRRGGG Papa Ray taught you to be courteous even to your enemies I tell myself again. Get up, get her some ice. No one likes hot water. She takes a sip, with the ice mind you and scrunches up her nose. "Don’t Justin got a Brita?" Papa Ray said what again?
"If you want CRISP water, should’ve stayed ya ass home" I snapped.
"What’s got you all riled up? Normally you’re snaking around like a happy house cat." Wait a second, did she just call me a cat? Huh? Is that supposed to be some kind of southern term?
"What?"
"You heard me, you just waltz around here like you and J are just so durable. Let me tell you something sweetie, its not gonna last."
"Oh really? What makes you say that?"
"Cuz he’s still in love with me." HA! This girl is on crack right? He’s still in love with her….that couldn’t be true. He’s with me right? He’s in love with me. But then again he didn’t bother to tell me that he was married. Interesting huh? Now she’s playing on all my insecurities. This little country bumpkin is actually getting next to me.
"Honey he’s already given me a pre-engagement ring ok? We’re gonna get married soon and you’re gonna be nothing but a forgotten past."
"Aw how cute!" she squealed, "a promise ring. He did the same thing to me right before he slipped this diamond ring on." Whoa, bling bling! Ok I know that’s a retired phrase but there’s really no other way to describe that rock on her hand. Justin gave her that? What’s up with my promise ring then? He better get me something way bigger than what she rocking or they’ll be hell to pay.
"That’s nice Britney but it really doesn’t serve much of anything anymore now does it?"
"How is that? It still serves its purpose when we’re still married." Ouch, there goes my heart falling straight to the floor like a ton of bricks. Still married? So he doesn’t tell me that he was once married now you’re telling me that they still are? Some wouldn’t believe Britney but that devious grin on her face is kind of like rubbing in my face. I know on the inside she’s say ha ha ha ha ha, your ‘man’ is still bound to me.
^*^
Well I’m feeling good, won myself $150 tonight. Patriots won with a field goal. I think I’m going to grab some S.Carters. Gotta give Isabella a big smooch on this one. She’s the one who told me they’d win. I’m just a smiling my ass off, but when I walk into the apartment that smile turned so fast. There’s Britney with this grin on her face and Isabella looking straight pissed. Oh my gosh, did she tell her?!
"Hey guys….." I said slowly.
"Hello Justin" Britney smiled. Ok something ain’t right. Isabella is not looking at me at all. I bypassed that bitch over to Isabella.
"Isabella I can explain."
"Exactly how Justin? That you didn’t tell me that you were married or that you were still married?" Whew so she didn’t tell her huh? But wait a second she still told her that we were married. Quickly Isabella jumped from the couch and I followed. It was almost like Britney wasn’t there but she was. The sole audience of our soap opera. Steadily Isabella begins to throw clothes into her overnight bag which is making me more than worried.
"Isabella wait please--just hear me out." Ok she stops, that’s a good sign right? "Look I understand this is all much but hear me out. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. It wasn’t that it slipped my mind or anything--its just that we’re in the midst of getting a divorce Isabella."
"And that’s supposed to make it all better Justin? You didn’t even bother to tell me! I thought you loved me."
"I do! I do love you" here I go, that romantic chump within believing that love can conquer all but at the moment its failing completely. I hate that I’m hurting her, I hate that I’m making her cry and I hate that I’m making her upset.
"Apparently not as much as you love Britney" she chided.
"Isabella--"
"No Justin, I can’t believe I wasted 6 months with a married man." now hold on a second here. These past 6 months for the two of has been great and just because of this she considers them a waste? What the hell? They weren’t a waste for me. Actually they’re the happiest I’ve ever been. But a woman scorned--well you know the rest.
"Isabella you don’t mean that."
"I do mean it Justin. Look I love you, I love you more than possibly any man I’ve ever loved but I’m not going to sit about here and be second fiddle to your WIFE. Its called adultery and I’m not going to be a part of that." This coming from the woman who was raised by a bunch of gay people. Ok….right. I’m trying hard right now to not let my anger get the best of me but I can’t help but be angry. I love this girl and she wants to leave because of this bitch sitting on the couch?!
"You are not second fiddle! Who have I pledged my heart to? You! Me and Britney aren’t even together, how could you say that?"
"How could I? The marriage certificate and that huge diamond on her finger is more than enough reason to say that Justin!" Isabella walked over and grabbed her bag and hoisted it up on her shoulder. "Until the divorce is final we don’t need to see each other. I’ll take the day off to get my stuff while you’re at work. I’ll leave the key on the drawer."
"Come on Bella don’t do this."
"I have to" she cried. She didn’t even bother turning around to look at me when she left out. Just grabbed her bag and left. You know what, no I’m not going to let her leave. I love her too much to let her walk out of the door like that! We belong together! She’s my soul mate, this shit is not happening. But never underestimate an angry woman. By the time I gathered myself she was gone. And who’s still there chessing? Oh come on take a wild guess.
"Now that that’s all out of the way we can talk."
"I don’t want to talk to you right now, I gotta get my girlfriend."
"Justin now is not the time!"
"NO YOU ARE NOT THE TIME!!" Ohh right now I could just wrap my hands around her throat and choke the living mess out of her. Britney always seem to find some kind of way to destroy my life. What in the world did I see in her besides her nice rack? First it was bad when she cheated on me with my best friend, then turn all freaky deaky making out with the two chicks she works with (which would’ve been hot if she wasn’t like my moms age and if the other wasn’t a slut) now this. She just waltz up in here and destroy the one good thing in my life. Thanks ho.
"Oh you better make it the time!" The look on her eye means only one thing…shit.
^*^
Thought it was good,
I thought that we were tight,
Heard a sweet words every day and night,
You wanna give your all to me,
There's no place you would rather be,
Than with me.
How could you believe that you could tell me lies?
All I had to do is look into your eyes,
You can deny but honey you will find,
Before long (before long),
I'm gone (I'm gone).
See I'm not that type of girl that you can mess about (mess about),
I don't have that type of heart that you can just break down,
And I'm not that type of fool to be cool in playing around,
So if gon' try being that type of guy,
It's goodbye (it's goodbye).
"Aw Isabella I’m so sorry" I tried to comfort her as much as I could but doesn’t seem to be working. I love the girl but she’s just a ruining my shirt I just bought from Guess. Only good thing that it was on sale.
"I can’t believe he wouldn’t tell me something like that."
"I know, maybe he had his reasons. I mean you did say he said that the divorce is underway. Maybe he wasn’t going to say anything until it was all concrete."
"That doesn’t make it better Dre." Finally she moved up off my shoulder. Thank goodness, now lets survey the damage. Ugh she would be wearing that black tinted Revlon mascara. That’s gonna be something else to get out. "And it didn’t help that his fucking wife was just sitting right there basically gloating because I found out. I didn’t even find out from her, I found his marriage certificate. She just simply cemented it was all." I really hate to see this happening to Isabella. I mean she had been with a lot of losers and Justin seemed to be the right one for her. Then this had to happen. I can understand her worry about it all. No girl wants to be with a married man regardless that he’s getting married but he’s the best thing that’s really entered her life. That and the fact I was really looking forward to being her maid of honor.
"So you guys are through?"
"Yeah for the time being. Until he get his shit together, then we can’t be together."
"I understand." Good thing she gave her apartment to Isabelle or she wouldn’t have had any place to stay. She could’ve stayed with me but she would have to cork it of course. I love her but I refuse to listen to her cry all night which I know she will do. Just like she did when ol boy that looked like Method Man broke up with her.
"Well I’m gonna head over to my old apartment. Gosh I haven’t been there in so long."
"Are you sure you want to be over there all by yourself? Isabelle isn’t due back from Greece for another two weeks."
"Yeah…I just need to be alone." Thank heavens! Didn’t want her to say something ‘you’re right, can I stay here?’
^*^
Good love, loyalty, fidelity, trust,
You keep tellin' me it's all about us,
Boy don't think that I can't see you're playin' me,
Your love's not real, not real.
How could you believe,
You could play me?
Break it down, we're gonna get lively.
When a guy whispers sweet things in your ear,
The motives different, it seems to appear.
Take it down, feel the atmosphere,
Move on up, move outta here!
And that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m grabbing shit as fast as I can because I have the distinct feeling that Justin is going to pop up in here while I’m trying to get my shit and beg for me to stay. At the rate I’m going I’d be more than likely to say yes. Nope, gotta be strong! While I’m putting all my stuff away I never realized how much shit I moved here. Granted most of my stuff is still at my old apartment like furniture. But man I never knew I had that many clothes and shoes! Do I really shop this much? And why am I even thinking about that? Why? Because I’m trying my all to focus on something, anything to get my mind off of Justin and all the good times we’ve shared in this apartment. I wanna say that I’ll wait for him because I do love him that much to do so. But something deep down makes me believe that this is just the beginning of the end for us. Before I pick up my bag I glance once more over the apartment at everything. The one thing that grabs my attention is this picture of the two of us in his moms backyard. I really liked that picture because we look so happy in it. Hmmm not so happy now I guess.
See I'm not that type of girl that you can mess about,
I don't have that type of heart that you can just break down,
And I'm not that type of fool to be cool in playing around,
So if gon' try being that type of guy,
It's goodbye (it's goodbye).
^*^
If I know her like I think I know her she should be there right now getting her stuff. I’m doing about 100 on the freeway trying to get back to my apartment. Damn I would have to work on the east side right? I’m darting in front of, beside of cars trying to rush back. I’ve got to stop her. This is really my only chance. Every time I got by her apartment she doesn’t answer the door, phone goes to voicemail and when I come up to her job her bodyguard Audrey steps in the way. Boy if I told you all the names she called me….boy it’d make you sweat. I know now not to mess with her friend. But that’s beside the point. I gotta make her see that I love her, cherish her as lame as that sounds. Being in that apartment has been so depressing. I don’t have my bubbly Bella around to make me smile and laugh. My bed is so cold and empty. I miss holding her and being with her. I even miss the annoying things like tripping over her shoes and opening the window because she’s put on way too much pear Victoria Secret lotion. You know I caught myself smelling that lotion just the other morning just so I could pretend that she was there? And its only been two weeks! Damn I’m nothing without her! I have to make her see that this is crazy. That I’ll do my all to fix this, anything, everything. When I pulled up to the apartment I didn’t see her car. Maybe she parked around back. That elevator ride took forever and a day. When I got to my apartment I had just missed her. How do I know? I can still smell her perfume. She must’ve just left. Damn it! Now what am I going to do? Oh I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to get my shit right. Gotta get this divorce moving full speed, get Britney out of my life, marry this girl and tell her. Tell her the one last thing in my life that she doesn’t know.
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