Well exactly how is Justin gonna pull himself out of this one? Here I am standing here about 100 feet with Bitchney(sorry couldn’t refrain from saying it) at a children’s park staring at Cooper. Cooper Timberlake--wait no Cooper Davis, Justin and Britney’s son they gave up for adoption. Just when I thought I heard it all, I find out that he’s had a son that he gave up for adoption. So he couldn’t raise his own kid? This I’m not believing. He has a good job! A great mom who I’m sure would help him out and Britney though I must hate to admit this seemingly couldn’t be that bad of a mother right? So adoption? The reason? I’d so like to hear that one.
“Cooper was just too much for us. Justin was just too busy and I mean with my up and coming life--” Silence built up between the two of us. We both watched little Cooper running around with the rest of the kids. He looked so happy. Whoever adopted him was making his life great, yet I still couldn’t let the things Britney told me brush off my shoulder. That was the reason for adoption? Yeah and putting yourselves in front of a child is so right? I mean gosh Justin could’ve take shorter hours or midnights. And britney? What’s her excuse? Because he life was on the rise? What the fuck kind of excuse is that?
“Sounds kind of selfish if you ask me” Now she really looks offended by that one
“How?”
“He would’ve been too much? You put yourself in a position to have a child and then you throw it by the wayside because he didn’t fit in Justin’s schedule or your up and coming lifestyle? What kind of shit is that? Did you not think of the consequences when you laid down and opened your legs? Kids happen and if you were that liable not to have an abortion you should’ve went on and raised him.”
“You don’t know any thing about me and Justin’s life and don’t begin to start!”
“You know now I’m glad I don’t. You’re just a lazy bitch that tossed a kid off to someone else because you were too worried about yourself and Justin isn’t any better. You want him so bad, keep him cuz I’m through.” I could no longer stand there watching this child, this beautiful little boy running around with two parents who were lazy as all fuck. I just couldn’t do it anymore. As soon as I got into my car off went the promise ring. Promise my ass, I don’t care how beautiful it is right now Justin is completely, #1 on my shit list.
^*^
Mama ain’t talking to me, Chris acts weird around me, Josh is pretending that I didn’t even say anything. Isabella, I can’t even get in contact with her. Right about now I feel absolutely feel like shit. Then my phone rings, please let it be Isabella…
“Hello?”
“Hi J” Shit its Britney. Just when I thought I couldn’t be more in a sour mood.
“Hi Britney” I mumbled.
“What’s wrong?” What’s right? Um nothing!
“Nothing, what do you want?”
“I was wondering if maybe you’d like to come to my cousin’s party. I know you’ve had a hard few weeks,” yeah thanks to you, “and I was thinking that maybe if I get you out of that house for a while it’ll lift your spirits up some.” Right now only one person can lift my spirits and she’s not even talking to me. So nothing can lift my spirits by at the moment nothing in my life matters. I haven’t shaved in weeks, I probably look like a bum and I’ve lost the perfume I used to sniff to remind myself of Isabella. Life stinks for me right now.
“Yeah sure whatever.”
“Great!” She sounds a little too happy about this. We’re not getting back together. Speaking of that I’ve been hounding my damn lawyer about speeding up this divorce so no we’re definitely not getting back together. “We’ll have fun, count on it.”
^*^
You got a hot date on your arm
You got good looks and plenty charm
You got a nice ride and everything
Ain't nothing wrong with you
You got a good job - respectable
You got a nice crib - you got it all
You're so well dressed and well behaved
But you just don't turn me on
Girls say I'm crazy and that I should go with you
Think your so amazing, that's the only thing to do
They say I'll be sorry, you'll regret it if you don't
But they don't need to worry - I know exactly what I want
I like a man with a hip hop style
I like a man with a drop top ride
I like a man who is independent
Uh, uh, say it again
I like a man with a hip hop style
I like a man who can drive me wild
I like a man who can take control
Uh huh huh huh, that's all
Yeah those are all the things I want but here I am sitting at a table with this loser Krystal set me up with. I guess she decided to take some sympathy on me and started talking to me again. I told her everything that happened with Justin. Oddly enough she looked like she was smiling when I told her that but I brushed it off. That’s when she convinced me to go out with her ‘friend’ Joey. Now don’t get me wrong its not like he’s ugly or anything, he’s just not my cup of tea. He’s not really my type at all but I put myself out there. I can’t just sit in the house all day and wither away because I’m not with Justin anymore. He took me to his father’s restaurant, Fatone’s which is really nice. Not as good as my daddy’s cooking though. Everything is decorated nice, a lot of maroon and paintings on the walls. Oh hell who am I kidding, I’d so rather be out of here! I’d rather be at home repainting my nails. Need a new top coat.
“Are you having a good time?” he asks. Guys only ask that when its more than obvious that you’re not having a good time.
“Mm-hmm” I nodded, “I’m sorry if I’m being too quiet, just a lot of stuff on my mind.”
“Such as?”
“I’d rather not bore you.” Or offend you which I’ve been doing to people quite often recently.
“Well I know I’m having a great time” he smiled. Yeah, good for your buddy boy. “So tell me about yourself. I heard a few things from Krystal but I’d much rather hear it from you.” Ok what has Krystal been saying about me? He tells me a few things. Some right, some not. Was she trying to make me sound better than what I am? That crazy girl. From Joey’s description she made me sounds like some eccentric whore. “She’s really unique and REALLY knows how to have a good time.” It was something about that REALLY that disturbed me. Sorry I only know how to have a REALLY good time with people I’m in a relationship with or when I’m REALLY drunk, ya heard?
^*^
Tonight is the night I’m going to win Justin back. All this time he’s been caught up with that girl Isabella but he knows deep down he’s wanted me. I mean why would it take this long to get a divorce if he didn’t want me? Maybe that ex-girl of his was right. With some lawyers I’m sure I can get Cooper back and we can be a happy family. And Isabella can be a thing of the past. So far thing had to have worked just right or he wouldn’t have agreed to come with me to my cousin’s party. Now all I have to do is get the perfect with the perfect shoes to remind him what he’s missing out on. I mean look at me! I’m gorgeous! Yeah Isabella, she’s all right and all but her thighs are a little chunky and she has too much junk in the trunk. I don’t understand Justin’s choice in women at all. The only choice he made right was me. I’m skimming through all these dresses, great! I’ve found the perfect one. Ohhhh when Justin see me in this he is going to flip!!
^*^
Thinking with my dick again. I want to be so pissed at Britney but d-d-d-d-damn did she have to wear this dress? This super tight, super revealing hot pink dress, showing off her lower back, legs and valley between her breast? She did this shit on purpose. I know she did.
“Hey J” she smiled sauntering into my apartment. And she started to switch! How long has it been since I’ve had sex? Shit its hot in here. Britney comes on in and sits down on the couch. I can’t stop looking at her legs….no! Stop! Isabella, think of Isabella! Think of the one woman who has your heart. Not this leech before you that not only cheated on your in your bed (exactly why do you think we got a divorce huh?) cheated on your with two chicks and spent up most of your savings like water. This leech that is looking hot as hell before you….AH!!! I should’ve never agreed to coming to her to this party.
“Hey.”
“Well you look nice.” Then she bats her long eyelashes. What the fuck is up with her?
“Thanks, ahem--so do you.”
“So I was thinking we get there early? Spend a little time and come back here.” Come back here? For what?……….wait--damn. I know for what and at the rate I’m going, I just might be weak enough to do it. But I can’t! I can’t be unfaithful to Isabella even if we aren’t together. Gotta be strong Justin, gotta be strong.
^*^
I need a rude boy with some edge
I need a ruffneck makin' ends
I need a hot playa hustlin'
Now that's what I want
I need a T-shirt with some jeans, uh
That's just how it is
I need a good lover to do me right
Somebody that can turn me on
My girls say I'm crazy and that
I should go with you
Think you're so amazing, that's the
only thing to do, yeah
They say I'll be sorry, you'll regret it
if you don't
You don't have to worry - I know
exactly want you want
Boy I’ve gotta love Audrey to come to this lame ass party. Her family is throwing another one of their extravaganza’s in the backyard of their mini mansion. They have one like six times a year. I tried to only reduce myself to only going to 3, but no I had to tell her that I was coming to this one. Plus after being as nice as she has been to me I couldn’t really say no. And get this, this is the kind of party where you can’t come alone. So guess who’s here.
“Would you like to dance?”
“Sure Joey.” I so rather not but rejecting him for the umpteenth time, you have to say yes eventually right. Well lucky him I chose this time to dance.
I know just what I like
And I know when it's right
I don't need nobody else to tell
me, no oh
I just wanna be free
To be who I wanna be
Can you blame me?
Hmm not a really bad dancer….but he’s a little unbalanced. I don’t recall him having anything to drink so I don’t really know what’s going on with him. Now that he has my on the dance floor he’s not going to let me go. We’ve been out here on the massive dance floor for almost a half an hour when someone catches my eye. Shit
^*^
What is Isabella doing here?! How does she know Britney’s cousin? Oh wait…Audrey. Damn! Audrey is Britney’s cousin! Aw hell. Aw hell? Maybe this is fate. Maybe this is fate because she won’t even let me contact her. Now she doesn’t have a choice. Quickly I got up from my stool in just enough time to catch her.
“Hey man what are you doing?!” some clod she was dancing with asked.
“I need to speak to her.”
“Justin!”
“Hey man get your paws off her!” Now here’s funny part, we start to get in a bit of a tug of war with Isabella. I’ve got her right arm, he’s got her left and we’re just going back and forth as if she’s a rag doll. Isabella is red with embarassment because so far we’re making a bit of a scene here. Ok chubsy is not letting go so I do the only think I can think of to release his hold and that’s knock him the fuck out. Everyone gasped when he fell to the floor. Its not my fault I can punch so good. Now back to Isabella. I pull her over a few feet near the shrubs so we can have a bit of privacy to talk.
Are you ready for this one ladies?
Check it out!
We like a man that is independent
Won't be asking for your pocket money
or to pay rent
So stand up on your own and don't be
given' me no stress
Keep showin' me positions just to keep
my interest
I like the way your lips and your hair
look crisp
But I'm commanding everything
I'm doing in my midst
Eternally intelligent - that's how
a woman is
You better pull the right strings if you
wanna get with this
“Justin! That was uncalled for!”
“You wanna talk about what’s uncalled for?! How about the woman that I love not giving me a shred of hope. You won’t even give me a chance to explain!”
“Explain what Justin? The fact that you’re still fucking married or the fact that you gave your child up for adoption?!” BRITNEY! THAT BITCH!!! Leave it to her to tell Isabella before I could. I should’ve known that she would have. Fuck!
“Isabella let me explain please.”
“There’s nothing to explain!”
“Just hear me out please.”
“Fine” she sighed throwing her hands up. Good, good that’s something right? Not much but something.
“Look I never wanted to really give up Cooper. I loved that little boy but Isabella you have to understand not everyone was lucky as you were. You had four parents who were all emotionally and financially stable. I didn’t have the job I have now, I didn’t have the money. If Coop was to stay with us who knows how bad he would’ve been off? Still to this day I don’t have any insurance, what could I do with a child that needs to see a doctor every blue moon? Or a wife he could give a fuck about him? He needed real parents Isabella. He needed more than what I could ever offer.” And I truly mean that. I still see him, frequently actually but to be his parent was something that he didn’t deserve. Neither Britney nor I were stable enough to keep him. The Davis’ his adopted family are so good to him. He belongs with people that can do that. I think now Isabella understands and his lightened up a bit but I can still see the fire in her eyes.
“Ok Justin I understand that much but holding secrets like that is…its just not for us. I need someone who’s going to be completely honest with me. Not someone who’s going to harbor secrets like that.”
“Ok, ok, I can fix that.”
“Justin…you just can’t fix something like that overnight.”
“What does that mean?”
“That means you really need to get your shit together.”
“But what about us?”
“I’m not sure if there can be an us anymore Justin.” What?! No! I can’t let her go! I love her too much! We can work this out, I can change. I can be the man she wants me to be. Desperately I grab her and hold her as tight as I can. I don’t want to let her go, I don’t want her to leave me. “Just let go of me!”
“No please! Please don’t leave me! I love you.”
“Justin let me go!” she screamed.
“NO!” I held her even tighter until this chump she was here with slammed his fist into my face, sending me to the ground. The last thing I remember seeing was Isabella turn around and look at me before her long wine colored dress began walking away. Why did this have to happen? Why did everything have to blow up in my fucking face? I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be here, I can’t do this. I can’t go back to that empty apartment filled with sadness. I can’t go to mama’s filled with disappointment, I can’t go to my boys filled with shock, I can’t go to Britney’s filled with deceit. Where can I go?
“Justin? Justin stop!” I hear Britney’s voice telling me not to get in the car but you know what, fuck her. Since when has she cared for my well being? “Justin you’ve been drinking stop the car!” Hmm maybe I should’ve listened to her.
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