“Justin, I just can’t do this anymore.” Jen’s word caught Justin off guard.
“What do you mean? You can’t do what anymore?”
Jen was making the most selfish decision of her life. She was leaving the only man she loved because he couldn’t be there for her when she wanted him to. She knew that things would be hard when she got into the relationship. Her and Justin had met after N Sync had been out for awhile. They met at a concert in Houston. Justin saw her in the audience and for some reason her face just stuck out in the crowd. She wasn’t jumping up and down and screaming. She was looking right into his eyes and Justin felt she was looking into him. Her green eyes pierced his soul. He thought he was the
only one who had that power when he looked at someone, but that night he met his match.
“Justin…I can’t keep pretending everything is ok when it isn’t.”
“What do you mean Jen?!” Justin’s head was spinning. There was no way she was sitting there telling him she wanted out. It just couldn’t happen. For once he was happy, for once he could say that he was truly in love. “Jen…you have no reason to do this!” Justin began to get angry when her words began to sink in.
“Justin I need more. This isn’t how I thought it would be. I didn’t think that the only way I would see you was through a t.v. and the only way I could touch you is if I flew across the country. I want more…I want the fairy tale. I want you to come to my rescue for once. I can’t come running to you everytime that you're hurting. Justin I hurt too.” Tears welled up in Jen’s eyes as she relived all the moments when she wanted Justin to be there and he wasn’t. When her mom died he promised he would come to the funeral, but at the last minute called and said he couldn’t. Johnny had booked
something and the group couldn’t turn it down. He wasn’t there when she needed him the most, but she was right by his side whenever he was going through personal shit. Whenever there was a tabloid rumor, whenever they didn’t win an award, when his hard work was belittled…she was right there.
“What do you expect me to do Jen? What do you want me to do?! It’s not like I have a switch to turn the fame on and off. I can’t say worship me when I’m onstage, but don’t come near me when I’m off. You should know better than that. We have been together over a year and never once did you complain! How the hell am I supposed to know if something is wrong if you never tell me!”
“Justin you have enough problems on your own you don’t need to deal with mine on top of it.” Jen layered her words with sarcasm and it hit Justin where it hurt.
“What is that supposed to mean?!” Justin was yelling and when he got mad there was no stopping him so Jen just backed off.
“Justin, I’m not saying this is forever, but it’s what I need right now. If this is meant to be it will be.” With that Jen got up and left the room. Leaving behind an incredible man who knew her better than anyone else. A man that could look into her soul and who could make her feel like the most amazing person. He was her soul mate. She knew that, but Justin needed to grow for things to be as wonderful as she wanted them to be. The only way for him to grow would to be without her for awhile.Justin couldn’t grasp what had just happened. He had to have Jen. She was his life, his air, and his soul. He knew she was right about some things, and he knew he had to change, but he wasn’t sure how.
~ Two Months Later ~
Jen watched him move smoothly across the stage. He had no idea she was here, and that’s exactly how she wanted it to be. She didn’t want him to know how much she missed him, how much she needed him. As much as Jen tried to tell herself she didn’t hate herself for what she did to Justin, she still felt horrible. Even though in her mind she knew it was best it still hurt like crazy. She was standing in the same exact venue, the same exact row, and the same exact seat as she had been when she first fell in love with Justin. Jen desperately wanted Justin to look into her eyes the way he did that night, but there was something missing. He gaze was far off and distant. He didn’t look at anyone in the crowd. He just stared at the back of the house the whole concert. “I wonder what’s wrong.” Jen thought to herself. She couldn’t possibly be the reason for the empty look in his eyes.
~ Justin’s Point of View ~
“Keep your head up Timberlake.” The thought kept running through Justin’s head. He didn’t want to look into the audience, as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t. This is where it all started. This venue a year and a half ago.
Justin was scared to look into the crowd. He didn’t want to look out there and maybe see something in someone’s eyes like he saw in Jen’s. That would freak him out, there couldn’t possibly be someone else who did that to him. As much as Justin knew no one could take her place he was still afraid.
It was almost time for their new song. It wasn’t on an album, it was a song Justin wrote one night after Jen had left him. The song got a great response from the other guys and from the crew so the group decided to incorporate it into their show. It was loved equally as much by the audience. “How’s everyone feelin!” JC’s voice echoed in Justin’s ears. Routine…it was all so routine. “We have a special treat for you tonight. This is a song my man Justin wrote, and we decided that we would share it with you all to make the show a little more special.”
“What’s up Houston!” The crowd roared as Justin opened his mouth. “I wrote this song after someone very special broke my heart. I actually met her at this venue.” Justin could remember the exact place she was sitting that night, and as much as he didn’t want to look he did. There sitting in the
seat was Jen, her eyes full of tears. Justin was taken aback by the sight, but he knew he had to keep going. “Well…here it goes. I hope you like it.”
We started following a certain description.
We started simple and fair once again
Before there wasn't any need for an answer
Things were much different then
But now you question who I am.
Who I am inside
Now there's nothing left to hide
So here it goes
This is my letter
Jen couldn’t control the emotions she was feeling. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she realized the magnitude of Justin’s pain. She had no idea he felt the way he did. It tore her apart to see him on the stool singing these lyrics with more feeling than any other song he had ever sung.
Hope you're alright
It's been rough for me
Thinking all night
About the places I'd be
If I maybe, just did a little bit more
You might've let me, become a man for sure
And if I might, express one concern
It seems an issue
All day at every turn
What's the next step, the latest hole in my life
What's next for me to learn
Justin felt the lump in his throat. He had to get through this song, he had to let Jen know how he really felt. This was when he was his most honest. He couldn’t say it so he sung it. He sung with everything in him.
Engulf myself into a permanent mystery
No one day just as the next
Not for me
It's so confusing when I look at my history
I just can't handle that yet
But now you question who I am
Who I am inside
Now there's nothing left to hide
So here it goes
This is my letter
Hope you're alright
It's been rough for me
Thinking all night
About the places I'd be
If I maybe, just did a little bit more
You might've let me, become a man for sure
And if I might, express one concern
It seems an issue
All day at every turn
What's the next step, the latest hole in my life
What's next for me to learn
Justin finished the song and finished the show. The entire time he didn’t take his eyes off of Jen, he couldn’t bring himself to. It had been two months since he looked at her and it seemed like forever. As soon as the show ended Justin sent Lonnie out to get Jen. He had to see her right away. He couldn’t wait any longer.
Jen walked into the room with her head down. She couldn’t bear to look at Justin after realizing what she had put him through. She didn’t know she could cause someone so much pain. “Hey.” Jen managed to mutter. Justin ran up to her and wrapped his arms around her. Jen wasn’t expecting that all. She slowly wrapped her arms around him and began to sob. For the first time in their relationship he was there for her. He didn’t want anything from her, he just wanted to hold her and be there for her. For the first time she was being rescued and she now knew she always had the fairy tale, it just had to be woke up.
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