~~~**
Chapter 2
Kate looked at her surroundings and sighed. Who would of thought that the day after she lost her sister, she would be sitting at a press conference. The guys were canceling their tour, and had decided to take a year off. She sat in one of the chairs behind the conference table where each of the guys were seated. JC had stayed really quiet; Chris had only had little input. They had decided not to tell the press about Molly quite yet. But, the press could tell, that something was wrong.
“Why are you guys taking a break? Are you breaking up?” a reporter asked from the audience.
“No. For the third time. We are NOT breaking up. Personal affairs have arisen, that we refuse to speak of at the time. We feel it’s best to take some time and spend it with our families.” Joey spoke.
“Don’t you guys think this is a bit selfish, and un-fair?” Kate’s head snapped up.
“How dare you.” Kate spoke before she even knew the words had left her lips. Everyone’s heads snapped in her direction.
“Excuse me?” the same reporter asked.
“I said, ‘How dare you’.” Kate repeated, as she stood up.
“Katie-”
“Chris, I know we said we weren’t going to say anything yet, but you don’t deserve this shit.”
“Do you care to explain your outburst? And who are you?” the same reporter asked. This got her fuming.
“ My outburst? You don’t even know what I have gone through in the last 48 hours, what these five men have gone through. So the next time you want to be an ass, go do it to someone else. These guys don’t need your bull shit.”
“ Care to explain why you are so upset?” the reporter continued to push her buttons. The guys of Nsync sat to the side, shocked by how Kate was acting.
“ I’ll tell you. My name is Kate Kirkpatrick. I am Chris’ sister. My older sister,” she paused as tears began to fill her eyes. She felt someone grab her hand, and looked down to see JC’s hand holding hers. She looked at JC, before turning back to the press, “ My older sister, Molly, died yesterday, after being hit by a drunk driver.” she felt the pressure on her hand lessen, she looked at JC, and he looked at her, tears filling his eyes. She squeezed his hand. He returned the gesture.
“It may be unfair to the fans that they paid for the concert tickets to a tour that was just cancelled. But, don’t you think it’s unfair to Chris for him to lose his baby sister? Don’t you think it’s unfair to Justin, Joey and Lance, for losing a friend? Don’t you think it’s unfair for me, for losing my best friend? Don’t you think it’s unfair to JC, who just lost his future wife? So you tell me? Is one measly tour more important than losing her?” Tears rolled down her cheeks, as she looked out at the reporters. “I’m sorry. I can‘t do this.” With that said, Kate ran out of the room. She ran down the hallway, and around the corner. She slid down the wall, and cried into her knees. She felt someone sit down next to her, and bring her into their arms, as she continued to cry.
“It’s ok. Let it all out.” she heard JC’s voice.
“It’s not fair. Why her? What did she ever do?”
“Shh, Katie, I know.” she could tell he was trying to hold back his own tears.
“ Why did she leave us? Why?” Katie asked, as her sobs got louder and stronger. JC was quiet as tears finally fell from his eyes.
**
That Night…
JC walked along the beach, his toes squishing in the sand, lost in his thoughts, in memories. He still couldn’t believe she was gone. It seemed so surreal to him. He kept thinking that he’d hear the front door open to his house, and her yell out ‘Honey? I’m Home’. But, today, as he listened to Kate talk to the press, he realized that he’d never hear her say ‘I love you’ or ‘You really need a hair cut’ again. Those thoughts hit him hard. He realized for the first time in the last two days, that Molly was gone for good. She was never coming back. He’d never be able to watch her as she walked down the isle towards him. He’d never be able to make love to her again. He’d never have a child call him daddy, and Molly mommy. He’d never be able to hold her hand as she brought the most important gift into the world. He’d never be able to laugh with her, cry with her, or celebrate with her. All he had now was memories.
JC sat down on the sand, and buried his face in his hands, as he finally let all the pain he was feeling, loose.
~~~** 2 days later….
Kate sat staring in space, as she sat in the room her and Molly used to share, before they both moved out. She was sitting on Molly’s bed, holding Cuddles, Molly’s childhood stuffed dog, tight in her arms. Unknown to her, tears were rolling down her cheeks.
She was brought out of her thoughts, when there was a knock on the door. She looked up to see Chris, leaning up against the doorframe. She looked back down, the two stood in silence for a few minutes. They both knew this is what they needed. No words were spoken; they each knew how the other felt. Chris finally broke the silence, a few minutes later.
“Do you remember that time you ran away?” Kate looked up at him. “ You were about 11, maybe 12. Molly, she was scared to death. Maybe more than mom was. She had come home, and saw that your favorite doll was gone, and immediately knew something was wrong. She cried. I mean, she broke down. Full out, heart wrenching sobs. That was one of the only times I really saw her cry. Molly never cried. She always said-”
“ Tears were saved for those, who actually had reasons to cry.” Kate whispered as Chris said the words. “ She never got her wish.” Kate said after a few minutes of silence.
“What wish?” Chris asked, confused.
“She always wanted to see dad again.” Kate said quietly. {A.N.: I know that Chris has a totally different dad than his sister’s…but for just this…let it slide. :0)} Chris didn’t know what to say. When they were younger, just a few years after Kate was born, right before Emily was born, their dad had left, and they have no idea where he had gone. Chris had the most memory of him, while as Molly had very few, and Kate’s were very vague.
“I want to find him.” Kate said quietly. Chris’ head snapped up, his jaw clenched at the thought.
“Are you crazy? Why on earth would you want to see him?” Chris asked, his voice raising.
“You can yell. You can scream, you can do anything you want. But, you’re not going to stop me. He deserves to know. And I’m going to do what Molly always wanted to do. I’m going to find him, and let him explain.” Kate said, as she stood up, and walked out of the room. Chris hot on her heels.
“You’re going to find the son of a bitch and let him explain? Explain what? Why he left us? Why he wasn’t there for Emily’s birth? Why he wasn’t there for us? Why he left mom? You actually think he gives a damn?” Chris yelled, as he followed his sister down the steps, and into the living room, where their mother , sisters, and the guys were seated, watching TV.
“Chris!” Kate yelled as she turned around. The others sitting in the room, immediately shot their heads in their direction, Kate hardly ever yelled, and when she did, you knew she was pissed. “You think I don’t know that? If you remember, I was there too. I was there with you when we had to search for pennies so we could eat that week. I was there when we froze in the winter cause we couldn’t afford heat. I was there, when mom took us shopping at Salvation Army. I was there too, Damnit.” Kate yelled.
“Then why the hell do you want to find the bastard?” Chris questioned, his voice just as loud.
“Like they say, father like son.” Kate fired back. “And, I already told you why I want to find him.”
“Oh, that’s right. Cause that’s what Molly wanted. Well, what makes you think he gives a damn that Molly is dead?” the room was silent. Kate looked at him, tears in her eyes, as she shook her head, grabbed her coat, and then ran out the front door. Everyone was quiet.
“You’re an asshole.” Chris’ head snapped at Emily’s direction.
“ Not now Em.” Chris said, his eyes shooting fire.
“Don’t you dare ‘Em.’ me.” Emily yelled, her voice full of attitude. “Kate is doing something, in which you should be behind her 100%, without thinking twice. This is one of the things Molly wanted, that Kate can still make come true, and you‘re trying to stop her? And Kate is right, he deserves a chance.”
“ He deserves a chance my ass. You were too young to even know what we had to go through when he left. Mom was pregnant with you, you didn’t hear mom cry. You didn’t have to see what we went through. And did you know that mom even thought of giving you up, cause she couldn’t afford to have you.” Chris’ eyes widened when he realized what he had just said. “Oh shit. Emmerz. I-” he was cut off by the sound of the door slamming, when Emily took the similar route as Katie. Chris looked around the room, and was met by disappointed glazes from his friends, and a look of disbelief from his mother. And before he knew, he too took the same route as his sisters, slamming the door as he left. The remaining six all looked at each other.
“I’m gonna go and see if I can find Kate.” JC said as he stood up and made his way out of the house.
“Yeah, I’m gunna go find Em.” Justin said, and then followed J.C’s path. Joey and Lance looked at each other, and nodded.
“We’ll go find Chris.” Lance informed Bev. She nodded her head, and gave a small smile in thanks.
~~~**
JC sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. He had searched everywhere for Kate, and still hadn’t found her. ‘Where the hell could she-’ before he could even finish his thought, he spotted her car parked in the parking lot of a near by beach. He immediately cut through three lanes of traffic, which caused cars to honk, and drivers to yell obscenities. He quickly parked his car and got out, he walked down to the beach, and didn’t see her anywhere. This worried him. He began walking along the shore.
After about 15 minutes of walking, he finally spotted her. She was sitting on top of the huge rock, her knees brought to her chest, and she looked deep in thought. He quietly made his way over, climbed the rock, and took a seat next to her. They both sat quietly.
“How did you find me?” Kate asked, breaking the silence.
“I saw your car parked in the parking lot.” Kate nodded her head. Again they were silent.
“Emily got in a fight with Chris too, huh?” Kate asked. JC looked at her and nodded his head.
“How did you know?” JC asked.
“She’s over there.” Kate said as she nodded her head in a direction. JC looked around her, and sure enough, there sat Emily, seated in a similar position as Kate.
“This was our spot.” Kate began, “Mine and Molly’s” JC was silent, just staring a head, ready to let her vent about anything she needed to say. “We found it that summer when Chris met you guys. Do you remember the day where all of us came here? All of our families, our friends. It was the week before you guys left for Europe.” JC thought for a second, and then nodded his head, a small smile making the way to his lips.
“Yeah. I remember.”
“ Molz and I had decided to go discover.” Kate let a small laugh escape her lips. “We walked around for hours, but we finally found this spot, just as the sun was setting. And, I remember her looking at me, and telling me, this is our spot, no ones besides ours. It’s still hard to actually believe that she is gone. You know?”
“Yeah. I keep expecting to walk into our house, and hear her music blaring and her singing, or her watching TV; it just really hasn’t clicked yet. I mean I know she’s gone, but a part of me keeps wishing I’m wrong.” JC chuckled, “Wanna hear something pathetic?” Kate looked over at him for the first time. “I’ve been sleeping in the guest room, or at my mom’s. I can’t even try to step foot into our bedroom. Every time I pass the room, I can’t even look at the door. I just, I can’t.”
Kate sighed as she put her arm around him, her head settling on his shoulder. JC lowered his head so that his cheek was against the top of her head, and moved his arm around her back. Kate snuggled into his embrace, and sighed as she closed her eyes. His embrace felt so safe, and protective. Right now she felt as though nothing in this world could harm her, as long as she was in JC’s arms.
“ I swear, I don’t understand that boy.” JC’s voice cut through her thoughts. She opened her eyes, and looked up at him confused.
“Huh? Who?” Kate asked.
“Justin.” JC said as he nodded his head in the direction where they had both seen Emily earlier. Kate turned her head in that direction, and found Justin embracing Emily, as she cried into his chest.
“Ok, so what don’t you understand?” Kate asked, still confused.
“You don’t see it? Sorry to tell you, but that boy has been in love with your little sister for a long time now.” Kate looked at him shocked.
“But, they’re so young. I mean Em is barley nineteen. And, Baby J, well he’s Baby J.”
“Sorry to break it to you Katie, but ‘Baby J’ is all grown up. And, I’m pretty sure your little sister, is in the same boat.”
“You mean, you think she likes him too?”
“Hunn, I think what she feels for him, is more than the term ‘like’ holds.”
“You mean, my little sister is in love?”
“’Fraid so sweetie.” JC smiled.
“What is it with you Nsync people stealing my sister’s?” Katie joked quietly.
“We just have that irresistible charm.” JC smiled cheekily, as he tightened his arms around her.
“Charm my ass.” Katie grumbled, JC only laughed. His laughter soon subsided, as he watched the sun set. And, for the first time in last couple days, he truly smiled. He finally realized, even though Molly may be gone, she was still with him in a sense, and she always would be. And, right then, to JC, living without her didn’t seem unbearable, as long as he had his friends and family.
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