I was standing at my locker when he came up to me.
I couldn’t believe that he was coming right up to me!
Me, of all people!!
Looking right at me!
I thought then that he wasn’t really coming up to me.
I mean, how would he even know my name?
He didn’t even know I existed.
He was the most popular guy in school.
I was a nobody.
Well, a nobody compared to him.
He was a jock; I hated sports.
I was convinced that he was just walking down the hallway, looking around.
That was, until he stopped and said, “Hi, Bernadette.”
I froze.
I could hardly believe he knew who I was, let alone talking to me.
I wanted to die right then and there.
Instead I turned to him and said, “Hi, Josh.”
He asked me, “So, did you do that math homework that we had?”
So that was it. He wanted to copy my homework.
I should have known.
I mean, why else would he want to talk to me.
Me, being a nerd and him the most popular guy in school.
I sighed a little and said, “Yeah, I did.”
“Did you think it was hard? That last question was tough.” He replied.
“Yeah. I guess it was a little hard to do.”, I said as I closed my locker door. “Did you need any help on it?” I added just so he would continue to talk to me.
“No, I think I got it, but thanks for offering to help.” He paused and then said, “Would you mind if I walked with you to your next class?”
Would I mind if he walked with me to my next class????
No! Are you out of your mind???
I was so shocked and excited that he asked me that, I could hardly find my voice.
Somehow, I don’t know how, I managed to say, “Sure, that’ll be fine.”
He smiled at me and started to walk beside me.
“So, um, I was wondering.”, he began. “If you weren’t doing anything on Friday night if you… um… would like to go out with me?”
I couldn’t believe it.
Was he asking me on a date???
Josh was asking me on a date.
After I got over my shock, I said, “I’m not doing anything on Friday night.”
“So is that a yes?”
I smiled at him and said, “Yes.”
“Alright. Cool. I’ll pick you up at your house around 8. Alright?”, he said as we reached my class.
“Yeah, that’s fine. See you.”
“See you later.”, he said as I entered the classroom.
I walked over to my desk in a daze, sat down and sighed real loud.
Well, at least loud enough that my two closest friends, Tiffani and Stefanie heard me.
They turned to me and Stefanie said, “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing’s wrong with me. In fact, you wouldn’t believe what just happened to me even if I told you.”
Tiffani said, “What happened?”
And then I proceeded to tell them all that had happened with Josh.
It felt like forever, but Friday finally came. And I was so nervous I could hardly breathe. I went through school in a daze. I don’t remember anything about it, except that at lunch, Tiffani, Stefanie and I were talking about my date that night. I was still a little shocked that Josh asked me out of all people.
Finally school was over and I only had to wait about 4 more hours until my date with Josh. While I was waiting, Stef and Tif came over to help me get ready. They were going to help me style my hair because I could never get it to do what I wanted it to on my own.
After we were done, I thought my hair looked cute. I was wearing a white headband with a butterfly on the side with my hair curled all around it. My headband matched the color of my dress. I always wanted to wear that dress with my hair that like.
Stefanie and Tiffani left around 6:00. Stef had a date with her boyfriend, Drew and Tiffani wanted a ride home because she had to babysit. Before they left, however, they told me to call them tomorrow and give them the full details. I promised them that I would and then they left.
I finished getting ready and dressed and finally my mom came into my room and told me that Josh was downstairs.
Josh was sitting on the couch talking to my uncle when I came down the steps. When he saw me, he stood up and said, “You look beautiful.”
I blushed and murmured, “thanks.”
He smiled and I swore I saw him blush a little when he said, “These are for you.” And then he handed me a bouquet of pink carnations with a red rose in the center.
I took them and then said, “Thank you. They’re so pretty.”
My mom said, “Here, let me put them in water for you.”
I let her take them and then I said to Josh, “I guess we should get going.”
“Yeah.”. he said. We walked to the door and my mom said to us, “What time are you coming home?”
Before I could answer, Josh said, “I’ll have her home by midnight, if that’s okay with you?”
“Yes, that’s fine. Be careful.”
“We will, mom. See you later.”, I said as we walked out the door and to his car.
When we got to the car, Josh did the sweetest thing for me.
He opened the front door of the car for me.
How sweet is that????
It nearly made my heart melt.
I thanked him as I got in the car and he shut the door and went around to the other side of the car.
As he was driving, it occurred to me that he never told me where we were going.
So I asked him, “I forgot to ask you where we were going tonight.”
“Oh, We’re going to go to Ashley Brook’s house. She’s having a party. Unless, you want to go someplace else. It’s up to you.”
“No, that’s fine. It sounds like fun.”
When we got to Ashley’s house, everyone was looking at us.
I could imagine why.
I mean, here was Josh, who was perfection.
Everyone liked him.
He was here with…… a nobody.
At least a nobody in their social circle.
To say they were surprised was being modest.
They were shocked.
Everyone continued to stare at us and I was getting very uncomfortable. I looked over at Josh and he must have seen the panic in my eyes because he took ahold of my hand and whispered in my ear, “It’s alright. Just relax.”
I nodded my head and let out a breath of relief.
We then made our way over to his friends.
“Hi guys.”, he said. “You remember Bernadette, don’t you?”
“Yeah. Aren’t you in my science class?”, Justin, one of Josh’s friends said.
“Yeah, I am.”, I said back to him.
“That’s cool.”. he replied.
Josh then introduced me to all of his friends.
That took a rather long time.
At first, he seemed to be having fun.
Well, at least when we were with Justin, Lance, Chris, and Joey.
It wasn’t until we talked to other people that he seemed to look distant. Like he wasn’t even there. I was beginning to feel like I didn’t fit in and I wanted to leave, but then Josh would rub my hand or smile at me and then the feeling would fade.
We moved around the place like that for a little while longer and then Josh whispered to me, “Let’s get out of here. I had enough if this. Did you?”
I started to say yes, but the music was playing so loud that I felt like I couldn’t even talk, so I nodded my head.
He saw me nod and we headed over to where Justin, Chris, Joey, and Lance were.
He told them that we were going to split and he’ll see them later.
I said goodbye to them as well and then we left.
When we were in the car, he asked me if I was hungry.
Since I didn’t eat anything since lunchtime in school, I was starving.
Instead, I said, “Yeah, a little.”
“I am too. Let’s go get some food. Any special place that you want to go to?”
“No. Nowhere special.”
“Okay.”
We drove around until we found the first place open or at least one that didn’t have a long line.
The only one that we found was Denny’s. He parked the car and then we went in the restaurant.
After we had ordered our food, there was a silence between us. After about 5 minutes, he looked at me and said, “I’m sorry about the party. I thought that it would be fun.”
“It was fun.”, I said.
He gave me an incredulous look and said, “Don’t lie.”
“I’m not lying.” When he continued to stare at me in this way that he knew I was lying, I said, “Fine. Maybe I was lying just a little, but it was interesting.”
“Yeah? What was so interesting about it?”
“Well, I never knew one person could have soo many friends.”
“See, that’s just it, I don’t. The only real friends I have are Justin, Lance, Chris, and Joey. All of the rest are just acquaintances. Know what I mean?”
“Sort of.”
“Sometimes I feel as if people only talk to me because I’m popular, you know?”
“Actually, I don’t know because I’m not popular.”
“But, that’s what I like about you. When someone talks to you, they’re not thinking ‘now that I’m talking to her, everyone else will think I’m cool.’
They’re thinking ‘She’s a really cool person’. Basically they’re getting to know the real you.”
“Oh. I see.”
He smiled at me and then said, “Can I ask you a personal question? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
“Sure.”, I replied.
“When we first arrived at the party and everyone was staring at us, why did you back away like that? It looked as if you wanted to run away from there.”
“I guess, its because I’m not really used to people staring at me like that. I just got nervous and felt like I didn’t fit in.” I paused then said, “I guess, you don’t get that feeling much, do you?”
“Yeah, I do. I feel that way whenever I’m around someone other than Justin, Chris, Joey or Lance.”
“So you feel uncomfortable around me?”
“No. You make me feel as if you care about the real me, not just my popularity. I have never felt this comfortable with a girl before.”
:Wow. That’s some strong emotional words coming from a jock.”, I said teasing him.
“Yeah, well not all jocks are stupid.”, he said with a sparkle in his eyes. “Just like not all shy, reserved girls are what they seem.” And he laughed and leaned over and kissed me on my cheek. When he saw me blush, he smiled at me.
“And what is that.”
“Like you care about me… a as a person and not just my popularity. Does that make sense?”
“I feel as if you know me better than anyone else, even though we just met.
And then our food came.
After our food came, we pretty much stopped talking about deep stuff like that. We just talked of the regular stuff like what music we liked, school, and other things.
We left Denny’s around 11:30. Josh wanted to get me home on time so that I wouldn’t be in trouble.
When we got to my house he walked me up to the door.
“I had fun tonight.”, he said.
“I did too.”
“Would you like to go out again?”
“Yeah, I would like that.”, I said as I smiled at him.
“Cool. I can’t go out tomorrow though because I have a football game, but what about Sunday afternoon? Maybe we can go on a picnic or something?”
“That sounds nice.”
He smiled, and then said, “Cool. See you Sunday then.”
He then kissed me on my cheek and walked off the porch.
I walked into my house and up to my room.
He kissed me!!!
And he wanted to see me again!
I was so happy!
That Sunday, we went on a picnic and Josh asked me to be his girlfriend.
He also gave me a real kiss too.
It was kind of cute the way he did it.
We were sitting on a blanket eating lunch when he said, “You have a piece of cheese on your face.”
I wiped my face with a napkin, but he said it wasn’t off. So I started to wipe it again when he stopped me and said, “Here, let me get it for you.”
He then leaned in and kissed me. When he pulled back from the kiss I asked him, “Is it off now?”
“Yeah, it is.”
I said, “good.”, a minute before I started kissing him again.
I had thought that my life was perfect. I had everything I had ever hoped for.
I had someone who I was beginning to care a lot about, and who I had thought cared for me too.
Josh told me that I understood him in a way nobody had ever understood him before.
So here I was, thinking everything was perfect between us, when things took a turn for the worse.
We had been going out for about a month and a half to two months when I found out the true reason why Josh had asked me out in the first place.
I stayed after school one day to see Josh’s practice. He didn’t know that I was there. I was going to surprise him.
The team got done practicing and they were picking up the equipment, when I went on to the field.
Josh, Justin, and Joey were picking up the stuff and had their backs turned to me.
They were in a conversation. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but it was kinda hard not to. They were talking so loud.
Justin said, “So, did you two do it yet?”
“No, we didn’t.”, Josh said with a little annoyance in his tone of voice.
“Then, why are you still with her if she’s not putting out? I mean, that’s all chicks are good for anyway. You should just dump her.”, Joey said.
“I agree with Joey.”. Justin said. “That’s the whole reason you went out with her in the first place.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. They were saying that the only reason that Josh was ever interested in me was because he wanted sex.
I was crushed, but I was also mad too.
How dare he use me like that!!
They must have heard me, because they turned around.
When Josh saw my face, he must have figured out that I had heard their conversation.
“Bernadette, I can explain….”
“You can explain??? EXPLAIN WHAT!! I think your friends did all the explaining for you.”
“No, I want to tell you….”
“You want to tell me what? What? Did they just make all that stuff up?”
“No, they didn’t.”, he said with his head down low.
“So, you don’t deny that all you wanted was to use me?”
“It started out that way, but once I got to know you…it changed.”
“Save it for someone who cares.”, I said and then I started to walk away.
He ran after me saying, “Bernadette, wait….. I love you.”
When I heard that I got so angry, I turned around to him and slapped him across the face.
“How dare you say that to me. You don’t love me, you’re just trying to see if I’ll forgive you because after all you want sex and a girl who isn’t liked by many people would give it to you, right? Well, guess what? I won’t and I never want to see you again.” After saying this, I turned and walked into the school building. I made it to the girl’s bathroom before the tears started to come down my face.
I should have known something like this would happen. I mean, that’s all my life is- one disaster after another.
Still I had thought that Josh was different.
Over the next two weeks, Josh tried to call me, talk to me at school or anywhere else that he saw me at, but I didn’t give him the time of day.
In fact, I wouldn’t even go out of the house, unless I really needed to.
How could I? Everyone knew what Josh had done and everywhere I went, people were giving me pitying looks.
I hated the looks his friends would give me the worst. Like they felt sorry for me. Except for Joey. Everytime he would look at me, I would feel as if he were saying that I deserved this. I couldn’t get what he had said out of my head. That all girls were only good for one thing.
God, I wanted to hit him so bad.
After a month of sitting in the house and listening to Tiffani and Stefanie telling me I should go out with them, I finally gave in.
I only really agreed to go out with them because I knew that where we were going, Josh or his friends wouldn’t be there. We went over to Tina’s, our other good friend’s, house. She was having a party.
While I was in the kitchen getting something to eat, Josh came up to me.
I nearly fainted.
Why was he here??? He wasn’t friends with anyone else here.
Tina didn’t even know him except for when we were going out and I couldn’t see why she would invite him to the party.
But I didn’t really care. As he was walking up to me, I thought this was a good chance to show everyone that I was over him, even though I wasn’t. But maybe, they would stop giving me those looks.
He came up to me and said, “Hi, Bernadette.”
I said hi back to him, looking in the fridge.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?”
I shrugged my shoulders and said, “Sure, I guess.”
“I want to explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain. You already told me.”
“No, I didn’t. Justin and Joey did, not me. Would you please just listen to me for a minute?”
“Fine, you have a minute.”
“Okay…. What Justin and Joey said was true. In the beginning, I did want one thing from you, but that was only before I got to know you. Once I got to know you, I started to care about you, and then I realized that I love you. I think I knew that first night at Denny’s but I was too stubborn to admit it. I’m sorry, for what I did, but if you would give me just one more chance, I would show you how much I love you.”
“I don’t think I can. What you did to me was degrading. I mean only dating me because you thought you could have sex with me. Why couldn’t you just get to know me without expecting anything in return?”
“Because I was a conceited asshole then. I’m not now. You made me change for the better, if you knew you were doing that or not.”, he paused and then said, “If you give me a second chance, I’ll show you how much I changed.”
I thought about what he said for a long time.
Just stood there and thought.
I was still a little angry about what he did, but now it wasn’t as much as it was. And I did miss him. I missed him so much it hurt.
Josh must have gotten the impression that I didn’t want to try our relationship again because he started to walk away.
I called to him, “Hey, Josh.” After he had turned around, I said, “I guess everyone deserves a second chance.”
He came over to me and said, “So is that a yes?”
I smiled and said, “Yes.”
He then picked me up and spun me around and when settled me back on the floor he kissed me passionately.
After we had pulled backed from the kiss, I said, ‘I’ll give it another try, if you promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“Don’t ever lie to me again and let’s take it slow. Okay?”
“Done.”, he said and he smiled at me and said, “Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the party that is going on in the other room?”
“I would love to.”
We went back to Tina’s party holding hands.
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