“Rayna… Rayna… Where are you going?” Josh ran after her, she stood in the middle of the road, in the pouring rain. Rayna stared off in either direction the road went, tears were mingled with the downpour.
“Get away from me!” she swung her purse at him, its contents flew everywhere, and she sat down on the lines separating the lanes. “Just get away…” she sobbed and hugged her knees to her chest.
Josh grabbed her arm, and tried to pull her up. It was to no avail. He looked quickly to the left as a loud blast of a horn jogged his senses. “Rayna get up! Get up!” he gripped her upper arms, and pulled her out of the way of the oncoming transfer truck. Just as he swung into the other lane, it sped on by, horn blaring as it disappeared from sight. “Rayna what is the matter with you?”
She looked at him, sniffling, still crying. “Just leave me the hell alone! I want to go home! I don’t want anything to do with you anymore Josh! Why don’t you understand that! Just GO AWAY!” Rayna screamed and began to pick up various items that had spilled from her purse.
Josh stood there, watching her. He couldn’t make her stay, as much as he wanted to. Slowly, he went back into the bar and grill. He plopped down in a stool, and looked at the bartender. “Gimme the strongest thing you got…” The bartender grunted, and handed him a drink. Josh stared at it, before he began his latest drinking binge.
Rayna drove home, speeding on the slick roads, hugging every curve, barely able to see through the thick sheet of water and tears. Why? Why did I ever fall in love with him? I knew it… I knew from the beginning nothing would ever come out of it… He can never love me… It’s the only way… The only way… She was lost, lost in her thoughts and in the past…
“Hey…” a quiet voice stared at her from the aisle of the bus, Rayna smiled.
“Hi…” she smiled at him slowly.
“I’m Josh,” he stuck out an awkward hand.
“I’m Rayna…” she looked at him. He was about her age.
“I was wondering um… if I could sit with you? All the other seats are taken…”
Rayna nodded, and picked up her pocketbook. “Yeah, sure…”
Josh sat next to her, his eyes fixed upon her face. “So are you from around here?” he had noticed her accent didn’t sound like most of those from Orlando.
“No, I’m from the mountains, up in North Carolina. Why do you ask?”
“Your accent…”
If I had only told him that NO he couldn’t sit with me… We would have never… Never… … Rayna forced the thoughts from her mind. Her memories were too strong right now, too many, overcrowding her concentration. That day on the bus had started it all… If only I hadn’t let him sit down… She looked out into the night, her eyes still moist but no longer spilling salty tears of heartbreak… A heartbreak she could have avoided…
“It was a mistake…” Josh quietly repeated Rayna’s sentence as he pulled on his shirt.
“Yeah, a mistake…” Rayna buttoned her jeans and frowned at him. It was a mistake to him, not to her. But how was she supposed to let him know that?
“I’m sorry Rayna… I shouldn’t have… Shouldn’t have started this…” Josh pushed his hair back, and glared at himself in the mirror.
“It was just as much my fault…” Rayna remembered that SHE had been the one to kiss him, not the other way around. She hadn’t been able to control herself… But he hadn’t stopped her either…
“I shouldn’t have let it happen…” she muttered. Two weeks ago they were best friends, only friends, and then that night… Now the awkwardness had sunk in. For her at least. How was I supposed to tell Josh that I loved him? How?Rayna frowned, and turned onto her road. Now… Now… What do I do?She slowed down and turned into her driveway. Her purse was much lighter than it was when the night began; Rayna started up the steps, and put the key in the lock. She listened sadly as it clicked. Best friends… Gotta remember to get my key from him…
She slowly went back to her room, and undressed. Her clothes were still rather wet, and she was beginning to get cold. Rayna entered her bathroom, and turned on the water in the shower. She made sure it was hot, nearly unbearably so, and stepped in. Rayna felt like washing it away, scrubbing away her past, washing off the filth, getting all traces of him eradicated. It was all a mistake… A mistake… Rayna shook off the thoughts that threatened to overtake her again, and stepped out of the shower. She pulled on her robe, and went into the kitchen. Her hands worked quickly as she put on a pot of coffee.
She sat, curled up on the couch; a hot mug in her hands, wearing the silky pajamas Josh had gotten her the year before for Christmas. He remembered how much I loved them… He remembered from months before, me tugging at them, looking at them, wanting them…Rayna shook her head, and stood up. She put her mug in the sink, then went and sunk into her bed.
Josh stared into yet another empty glass. He had been cut off at the bar long before, and had caught a cab home. He sat at the built in bar in his kitchen, drinking himself to oblivion.. What did I do that was so wrong? I don’t… He put his head in his hands. . I’m too damn drunk to worry about this... Josh got up, and stumbled to his bathroom just in time to hang his head in the toilet. He hated how his mind worked when he was drunk... What did I do wrong? Josh pushed himself up, and headed to his bed.
He lay there, tossing and turning in his sleep. Dreams plagued him, in everyone he let Rayna slip away… He let her die… He killed her… Every time, it was his fault she was gone in some way or another…
“I hate you!” Rayna yelled as he tried to chase her down.
“But… Rayna please! Just stop! We need to talk!”
“You don’t care! I’m nothing to you!” she wheeled around to face him.
“Rayna, I do care… I… I love…”
Josh shot up out of the bed, and immediately clutched his head in his hands. “Damn hangover…” he muttered as he padded to the kitchen slowly. He rummaged through the cabinets until he found some coffee. He put it on and then went into the living room. Josh flipped on the TV, and sat down. He muttered to himself as he waited on the coffee to finish brewing.
The phone rang, interrupting his thoughts. He got up to answer it before the ringing increased the pressure on his head. “Hello?”
“Hey Josh, man where are you? You were supposed to meet up with me and Chris earlier, remember?”
“Yeah, sorry about that… Went out with Rayna last night, and you know, shit went down and now I’ve got a hangover from hell.” Josh rubbed his head. “Sorry Justin, but I’m not gonna make it.”
“Nah man, it’s fine. We might swing by later, that cool?”
“Yeah,” Josh muttered. “Listen I’m gonna jump off of here and try to get sobered up or something.”
“Good idea, you sound like hell, see ya later.” Justin hung up the phone, and Josh did too.
He headed back into the kitchen and grabbed his favorite coffee cup. He filled it up to the brim, ignoring the cream and milk. Black coffee was what he needed this morning; he couldn’t remember ever having such a bad hangover. “Dammit Rayna… Why did you have to go and be a bitch like that last night? I didn’t do a damn thing to deserve this…” he said to himself as he took a swig of the hot coffee. It burned his throat, but he ignored it. Josh knew he needed this pick-me-up more than the comfort of his throat. He sunk back into the chair and stared at the screen. He sat his coffee on the table next to the chair and rubbed his temples. He leaned back, and closed his eyes, trying to will himself back to sleep.
Rayna sat up, and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Her body ached; she was exhausted, and miserable. Why do I have to be so damn dramatic? Why didn’t I just leave well enough alone…Rayna pushed back the covers and climbed out of bed. She knuckled her back and went into the kitchen. . I don’t even feel like eating... Rayna sat down at the table, and picked up her cat from the floor. “Xander, I do believe you’re the only friend I’m going to have left after everyone finds out about the stunt I pulled last night,” she scratched him behind the ears, and kissed his nose when he began to purr. “So, Xander… do you think maybe I should try to patch things up with him?” Rayna scratched his ears, and smiled when he meowed. “I’m going to take that as a no. Because I don’t feel like dealing with that stubborn, pigheaded, horribly sexy and amazing man today…”
Rayna stood up, and dropped the cat to the floor. “I have to get dressed… I give up. I’m going over there…” Xander meowed at her loudly before skulking off.
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