Chapter Eight: You Are My Sunshine
Ella sat nervously in front of a dressing room mirror…her bangs had actually been combed down and pushed away from her eyes with pins, the makeup she wore was light and airy, leaving her natural beauty to make the first impression before having the time to study the way she had carefully lined her eyelids and lips. The clothing she wore was simple, a tunic dress over a pair of jeans and flats to compliment her height against Cole’s. Today was their “lunch date”. It had been a few days since she had talked with him, but he had called as promised and invited her to a meal that he had planned himself. It would take place inside of the venue due to the fact that they wouldn’t have a weekend show anytime soon, so there was no time to stop long enough to actually go somewhere around a town. She had been surprised that he had invited her out. She thought he might have just been humoring her, but when he had called, clearly eager to spend unnecessary time with her “ her confidence had risen slightly. Ella glanced beside her and surveyed the curling iron that wasn’t even plugged in; she then looked down at her straight locks and then back at the curling iron…no way. She had once tried to curl a Barbie Dolls hair. It didn’t work. Ever since “ she had been nearly scared to death of the things and didn’t want to bring them near her. Cole wasn’t worth even that.
Not seeing her enter the room, Ella nearly jumped out of her skin when Nicola pinched the sides of her waist and then plopped down onto the countertop beside her, “Scared you” Nicola stated playfully.
Just now regaining her breath, Ella nodded with wide eyes, “Um “ yeah you did!”
“Sorry” Nicola apologized, “So “ hot date?”
Ella laughed, “Is that what it’s called?”
Nicola nodded, “Hate to break it to you honey, but these days…yes “ that’s what it’s called”
Ella stared at her reflection and then looked back towards the door before saying anything else, “Cole is the only guy, that I…he’s the only guy that I’ve really felt something for since…since-”
Nicola put her hand over Ella’s and sighed, “I know”
Ella batted her eyelashes smoothly and then shook herself of the emotions that were piling on her. Placing a smile on her face, she titled her head back, threw up her hands in an exaggerated motion and breathed in, “How do I look?”
“You look beautiful”
“Why, thank you” Ella said, “I don’t quite feel very beautiful today. My feet look big”
“You’re feet ARE big”
Ella rolled her eyes and stuck out her leg, “yes “ they are…but they are a part of me “ and I need to love them more than I do”
“We all have things we could work on” Nicola said with a distant smile. Ella noted how pretty she looked…elegant and proper- the Nicola everyone knew and loved. But her facial features were torn, and it didn’t take a brain surgeon for anyone to realize that she was facing a tug of war between the two men whom she had grown to love.
“Have you talked to Clay about anything?” Ella blurted out, unable to think about it any longer without actually saying something about it.
Nicola whipped her head around and shushed Ella, “I don’t want to talk about it”
Ella groaned in defeat, “You never want to talk about it!”
“NEITHER do you” Nicola retorted, taking her bag in her hand and attempting to look angrier than she was, kissed Ella on the cheek before speaking lowly into her ear, “don’t say anything. You’re dates here”
“OH!” Ella stated, the nervousness she was trying to hold down, making an appearance in her tone. She heard Cole and Nicola exchange “hellos” before a pair of footsteps echoed their way through the room. When she finally felt his presence beside her, she turned to face him and smiled, “Hey! Cole” she scolded herself mentally, wasn’t it supposed to be ‘Hey Cole!’ or ‘Cole! Hey!’…No, she just had to say, ‘Hey! Cole’ as if she was scolding him…’Hey! Cole “ if you don’t stop, you’re going to get in BIG trouble’…What a loser.
“Are you okay?” he finally asked after watching her lips turn into a sneer, “should I come back-“
“NO!” Ella said a bit too loudly and excitedly. What was with her voice today? It wasn’t listening to what SHE wanted it to do, “Sorry” she finally mumbled, looking up into a pair of glasses covered eyes, before smiling and shaking her head, “I’m really nervous”
He laughed, “WHY are you nervous? You’re going out with a band geek for goodness sakes”
Ella shrugged, “I don’t know-“ for once she was rendered speechless and when his eyes met hers again she smiled, “I don’t know!”
“Well, Ella “ you just so happen to be making me nervous as well, because I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to steal words out of your mouth”
“Learn something new everyday, don’t we?” she kidded, looking around the room with Cole watching her carefully, “um “ are you ready to go?”
“Waiting on you”
“OH! Right!” she said loudly, laughing flakily and turning around to grab her bag, “um…yeah, I’m ready now”
He nodded and smiled, “Glad to hear it”
Ella nodded, “SO “ where we going?”
“Well “ we didn’t have a lot of choices” Cole chuckled, “I tried to actually get out of the venue, but things are so tight that we’re both stuck…so I planned a picnic on the rooftop”
Ella grinned, “Really?”
“Complete with potato salad and pimento cheese, with cucumber sandwiches!” He said excitedly, pointing to the basket he had placed outside of the door.
Ella’s jaw dropped. She couldn’t control the expression she had on her face. And she had actually thought Cole was near perfection “ no…no. With a lunch like THAT “ he was far off. When she finally managed to gather up the courage to say a monotone “Yum”, he was already buckled over laughing.
“Just kidding, gosh, now I know what NOT to do with you”
Ella breathed out and gestured upward, “thank you GOD!” with a shake of her head she continued to giggle, “I was so grossed out, you know…but um, since this is apparently a very touchy subject on my behalf…what did you bring?”
“Cheeseburgers and French fries from a vendor in the venue” he winked when she smiled appreciatively.
“A man after my own heart”
“Glad to hear it” he said with a flirtatious smile, “Come on…”
The two of them walked side by side through the hallway, their bodies nearly touching as they traveled towards the rooftop. Ella was close to being on cloud nine; she had finally found someone who connected with her on so many different levels - if she only knew him on deeper levels…if…if she only knew how much he was capable of.
----------------------------------------------------
“She’s on a DATE with Cole?” Justin asked curiously, the inflection in his voice rising when his thoughts were spoken out loud, “Like “ like…a date-date?”
Nicola nodded, “that’s what the kids call it these days!”
He paused, as if deep in thought, his eyes showing a flash of shock before he brought them back to their normal size, “Oh…”
“Oh?” Nicola said with a tweaked smile, “that was a melancholy answer”
“It’s a melancholy day,” he said with a shrug, bending over to absentmindedly loosen the drawstring of his sweatpants, “Where did they go?”
“I’m sworn to secrecy” Nicola said, putting her hands over her head when Justin gave her an offensive look, “Don’t act all pissed towards me “ Cole wanted to shoo you away “ he said you were nosey”
“He said that I was nosey?” Justin asked with an irritated air about him, “I don’t know how he could come to that conclusion…he’s the one always snooping around”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I don’t know…he just always, he always watches her “ like she’s God’s only gift to man…” Justin said with a sigh, “it’s kind of freaky when you experience it firsthand”
“Hmm…I think you’ve been close to giving off that look “ don’t crucify the man for getting to her before you had the chance” Nicola said, braving his defense mechanism with a boisterous tone and sudden newfound confidence in speaking to him about personal issues.
“That’s a stupid idea,” Justin muttered, kicking the ground with his perfectly white sneaker.
He said the statement rather softly, and it shocked Nicola as she blinked in recognition. Facing him so that his eyes were staring right into her own, she looked at him and nodded, “You really like her, don’t you?”
Justin looked at Nicola for a moment before turning around, “I have an interview...”
She scoffed, “Right”
He swore under his breath, “I do! It’s via satellite”
“Go then! Run, Justin “ I would hate for you to be late for the millionth time in you’re life” she spat towards him as his back was already facing her. She shook her head and watched him walk away. That boy was going to miss out on something valuable if he didn’t open up his eyes soon enough. She, however, couldn’t exactly talk about him without stepping on her own toes. She had been ignoring Gavin for two days now - hadn’t spoken an unnecessary word to him. It was easy to tell that he was irked with her, and for good reason…but she just couldn’t force herself to be with him, because she knew that the moment she let her guard down…something irreversible would happen. And she just wasn’t prepared to deal with that.
----------------------------------------------------
“The tour’s going GREAT “ I’m just so incredibly hyped up and…wow…you have no idea what a dream come true this is for me…” Justin said excitedly, his mile wide grin stretching across a television screen as he spoke to a room full of fans thousands of miles away.
“Thanks Justin “ we are all really excited about seeing the show…any “on tour” secrets you want to share with us before you go?” an MTV VJ spoke into a headset while looking at Justin who was positioned comfortably in a velvet chair, his legs crossed and his demeanor friendly.
“Um…” he paused for a moment and cringed, “To tell you the truth “ I have been a BORING guy on this tour” he said with a laugh, “I don’t got any of my boys’ with me to uh, you know, do the whole party thing…I’m surrounded by estrogen and I guess I’m falling a little deeper into my feminine side” he shook his head, “These women got me watching chick flicks and goin’ shoppin’ for cosmetics and things…I don’t know man, its crazy “ from sixty all the way down to eighteen “ they’re all here just…doin’ that girl thing” he finally finished. A playful look suddenly coming forth on his face, he sighed and nodded his head with a sorrowful expression, “I tell you what though “ I ain’t never cried like a baby until they popped in Simon Birch for the ninetieth time “ it gets to you man, it gets to you!”
Damien, the current VJ, shook his head and laughed, “I don’t know, Justin “ surrounded by women? That can’t be too bad!”
“You aint met these- Ah! No, I’m gonna shut up “ who knows WHO is watching this right now. Catty is all I have to say, Cat-tee!” He annunciated for exaggeration and smiled as he finished up the rest of his goodbyes. As soon as he was disconnected from the satellite, he fell further back into the chair and let out a groan. His mouth was numb from the constant grinning.
“You’re different in real life” a familiar voice spoke up as she inched her way towards him, sidestepping the few technicians who were looking at her suspiciously while they began taking down all of the equipment.
“I thought you were on a date” Justin said, trying to hide the fact that he was glad she had sought him out.
“I was “ he got a call from one of his band members…they uh, were having some kind of problem “ but I didn’t mind…we had a wonderful time “ and I think I’m in love” she giggled and fell alongside Justin in the oversized chair he was sprawled out in, “like “ I don’t know…he’s just so…like…ME”
“Impossible” Justin said, inching away from her as she squeezed into the space, “you can’t be in love already…you’ve only known the guy for a few weeks”
“Hey now, Mr. Romantic “ you’re the one always telling people about ‘love at first sight’ and stuff like that “ where’s you’re inner Italy?” Ella asked, looking at him with curious eyes as he kept his gaze straight ahead.
“I just don’t think it’s logical…you barely know him”
“Well, you barely knew ME before we got the chance to be friends” she said, elbowing him roughly at her statement, “don’t be so…difficult”
“But I’m not claiming to be in LOVE, there’s a major difference there” Justin said, irritated at her nonchalance towards the situation.
“I thought you be kind of…you know…’Wow “ ELLA! I’m so EXCITED for you’ but no…all I get is…’Ella “ come on, REALLY “ he’s a douche bag…’ You could be friendlier, Justin”
“I didn’t call him a douche bag,” Justin said with a whine.
“That’s because you didn’t know how to pronounce it” Ella fought, urging his side again with her elbow, “Come on, Justin! Act HAPPY like you did on satellite”
“There’s a difference between being happy and being irritatingly hyper”
“Right now you are being neither…you’re kind of being…cruel and uninterested in what I have to say, which is a new thing for you because usually you act SOMEWHAT interested in what comes out of my mouth. I mean, what if I told you that I saw the most BRILLIANT piece of sunshine today and it reminded me of YOU…not Cole, not Nicola, not that really gorgeous guy who works in the sound booth…. but YOU “ not everyone gets the chance to be related to sunshine”
Justin turned to Ella for the first time and let a half smile erupt on his face, “Sunshine made you think of me?”
“Yes” Ella said seriously. She cleared her throat and tilted her head back before closing her eyes, “You are my sunshine…my lovely sunshine…you make me happy…when skies are gray” she paused to laugh at herself and continued, “You’ll never know my dear…how much I adore you, please don’t steal…my sunshine…from me”
An uninvited air of silence entered the room and Justin looked at her for what seemed like hours before finally letting a smile embrace his features, “you have the lyrics a little different that I’ve heard…and you were TERRIBLY off key-“he was cut off by her elbow, once again in his side and he began laughing at her clearly shown annoyance with him.
“Then you SING it, pretty boy” she spat, folding her arms to his appreciation.
“Only if you stop hitting me “ you’re too lanky to be flinging you’re elbows into peoples bodies” he shook his head and rubbed his side, intentionally making sure that his arm rubbed into her side, “how does that feel?”
“Pretty nice actually” she said with a smile, “to the right “ to the right, up, no, down” she laughed and then edged him, “go on “ sing!”
“You mean, sing it correctly?”
“Just sing” she said, rolling her eyes and letting her head fall back onto the chair.
“This is my version…” Justin finally said, joining her in leaning back before singing, “You are my sunshine…my only sunshine…you make me happy, when skies are gray…you’ll never notice, how much I love you” this time, he was the one to pause, but not in laughter. He looked at her for a few moments, her hair falling in her face with no strategy whatsoever before deciding to continue,”…please don’t take…my sunshine away”
“Not bad…although, I noticed a hint of nasal congestion during that last…um, fancy thing you did” she attempted to imitate him, “awaahaihayeah” she giggled, “you know…the fancy thing?”
Shaking his head, Justin wagged his finger in front of her face, “NEVER, and I mean “ NEVER “ do that again”
Ella smiled, “it wasn’t that bad, was it?”
“It was horrible “ even worse than the time you paraded into my room singing church hymns” Justin said gently, “I hate to break it to you “ but…well…you cant sing”
Ella sighed, “Correct yourself “ I cant sing WELL “ but I can sing as much as I want to…and I will” she said, “whoever said that you have to sing well in order to open your mouth, was clearly just…close minded and…unfair”
“Sorry to…offend” Justin said, “so um “ in all friendliness “ how was the date?”
“It was everything I wanted it to be “ he was really different, you know “ like…I don’t know…we just click” Ella said, “I haven’t really had that feeling for anyone in a long time…its been awhile”
Justin nodded, sickened by her sappiness, “I see…well…I, uh, I’m glad to hear it!”
Ella nodded, “yeah…yeah, it was um…fun! So “ what was on you’re agenda for today, I mean…”
“I…had sound check “ I…did an interview and…I chatted with a few friends…played some basketball…and then I did the whole MTV thing as you saw…”
“Yeah “ you were a lot more enthused live on television than in real life…I don’t know what it was, you just kind of have this…’I’m a guy with absolutely NO problems whatsoever’” persona when you do interviews and then in reality, you’re rather quiet...and a lot more…laid back”
Justin nodded, “I’m not always quiet” he said with a smirk.
“I know you’re not “ sometimes you’re a loudmouthed candy ass jerk who thinks he owns the earth and all of its oceans” Ella said loudly, “I’m not sure which one I like better…or if I like one of them better at all…”
Justin shrugged, “I don’t know…either. I guess that’s one thing I don’t like about me…I, um…its almost like I have two different me’s…and its hard to distinguish one from the other” he sighed, “You’re the same person ALL the time…honest, blunt, annoying, ignorant, stubborn, intelligent, dorky…” he was elbowed again and he stopped with a laugh, “You know what I mean?”
“I guess” Ella muttered, tugging at the collar of her shirt as he brought up how ‘real’ she was. He didn’t even have a clue that she was hiding something from him, or from anyone else who wasn’t from her past, “well, I, uh…I’m going to go…see…if…perhaps…I can…serve water tonight!” Ella got up from her stance on the chair, using her strength to get up from the incredibly cushiony material, “I suggest you get up too, laziness” Ella said with a wink towards Justin, who was reclined comfortably.
“Laziness - you’re calling me…lazy?” Justin said with a disbelieving shock, “I don’t even think so”
“Believe it” Ella said with a smile, “bye Justin!”
----------------------------------------------------
“How’s the project coming?” a deep voice said over a telephone line, waiting only to hear good news from the person they were talking to.
“Not too good “ she’s not a wealth of information like I thought she would be “ I thought she would want to TALK about Justin…but NO, all she wants to talk about is the experiences she had when she was five…and I have to make up all these cheesy lines about being awkward and different and just like here! It’s torture”
“Well, get MORE out of her, Colton. What I’ve seen so far out of you just isn’t going to cut it. You’re going to have to get DEEPER into this girl, break her damn heart for all I care…that’s what he did to me”
“I know…it’s just harder than it seems…hey “ I have to go. I hear someone coming…I’ll call you if something changes”
“Talk to you soon, Cole “ please…get SOMETHING”
Cole hung up the phone and buried his head in his hands. The project he thought was going to be a piece of cake had turned into a major disaster. The girl who never stopped talking, never told him anything useful…and he had a pop star’s image to ruin.
----------------------------------------------------
Ella chomped down vigorously on an apple. She rolled the fruit around in her palm and looked towards Nicola who was talking on the phone with Clay. She possessed some sort of happiness that she hadn’t seen out of her in quite awhile and it was somewhat refreshing to know that even though she was talking to Clay, there was a spark in her.
“Love you too, baby…” she whispered into the phone, biting down onto her lip before clicking it off, “I’m in love again” she announced as soon as she was sure Clay wouldn’t have the possibility of hearing her.
“And how did this come about?” Ella asked with an inquisitive look on her face, “weren’t you just as tired of him yesterday as you are excited about him now?”
“I have flushed my brain of Gavin and all his charm” Nicola said convincingly, “I haven’t talked to him for quite awhile and…and…well, I must admit that it’s refreshing to talk to MY stiff-necked, pocket protector possessing fiancé”
“Oh” Ella said numbly, “I’m going to be happy for you even though I have no idea how you can be entranced by him”
“Ella, you of all people should know that who you are entranced by, is not your decision” Nicola said, “I love him, because my heart tells me that it’s right”
“I’m glad that you’re following your heart, Nic…I am. Because in complete honesty “ I want you to be the happiest woman alive”
“The same goes to you, Ellie”
“Ah, Nic…my fairytale will come…” Ella said with a distant longing in her eyes, “maybe its already here “ I mean…Cole is a great guy and we share-“
“Ella, I wasn’t talking about Cole and you know it…”
“Who else is there?” Ella asked, dumbfounded as to Nicola’s idea, “I mean…the only other guy I talk to on this tour is…JUSTIN? Ew…”
Nicola laughed, “and what’s so wrong with him? You guys have incredibly spellbinding conversations “ so much that if the two of you are talking in a roomful of people, it’s apparent that you both think you are the ONLY ones inside of it”
“We’re grand friends, Nic…I don’t know why everyone insists that we complicate it so much…we’re just US and we don’t get sidetracked by the lust factor…”
“Maybe you should…” Nicola said teasingly, “the boy’s been looking pretty good lately!”
“Shut up!” Ella said, already laughing at the thought. He was a handsome guy…but…I mean…he had a big nose! A big nose and big feet just couldn’t mix…it would be a mix of…bigness. Sighing to herself, she pushed a pillow back against the couch and sprawled out with a loud groan and stretching of her arms, “Sleep…I…need…sleep” she closed her eyes and sighed…sleep.
Hours Later
The shrill ringing of a telephone was the source of Ella’s awakening. She had been fast asleep for three hours, her ‘nap’ going straight through the middle of Justin’s show. She could have sworn that she had turned her cell phone off. With a quick blinking of her eyes, she opened up her cell phone and breathed into the receiver, “Hello?”
“Ella “ your mother…I just rushed her to the hospital” her father’s familiar voice spoke into the phone.
Ella nearly dropped the phone, “Dad?”
“You need to get here, Ella…fast”
Nodding, as if he could see her, Ella tried to force her tears away, “okay…okay…I’ll…I’ll be there as soon as I can, dad…is she going to…dad, is-“
“Just come, Ella…come quick. I’ll call you with more information as soon as I can.”
Ella got all the details that she possibly could from her father before hanging up the phone. What was she going to do? Nicola was dancing, Cole was running around with his band and Justin of course was singing his heart out. What…she couldn’t even comprehend what was going on around her as she dialed an operator in order to get a flight out of the city they were in. The whole situation was stressful and she could already feel the toll it was taking on her body as she fought with the attendant on the other line. The way it was looking at the moment, seemed to be that due to the time of year and the huge events going on in the area, all flights were booked until the following afternoon, even then it was going to cost her a fortune that she didn’t quite have…things never happened at a convenient time. Not that rushing your mother to the hospital was ever really that convenient. She searched for all the optimism she possessed inside of her and shook her head clear of the frantic thoughts running through it, “its going to be okay…” she whispered to herself as she walked out of the room towards the backstage area - she would just have to wait there and tell them what happened…tell them why she was crying…or why she was fighting the urge to fall in the floor and just…give up.
----------------------------------------------------
Justin usually found himself on a high and completely wound up after concerts. He would always search for the friendliest face and just have a good, hollering time…but…this time it was different. Ella was the first person he saw as soon as he stepped off of that stage. She was holding most of her face in her hands, trying to conceal the fact that she was clearly disheveled. He shrugged off the crowd around him and immediately sat down beside her, “what is wrong with you?” he said, pulling her hands into his and prying her fingers open, “talk to me”
“My mom…Justin, I’m scared…I don’t know what to do “ she’s in the hospital, and he wont tell me, he just calls and says, come, come quick! But I cant come quick because all of the…all of the planes are full…and this cant happen ag- I have to say goodbye first, Justin…I have…I have to say goodbye to her”
“Hey…hey…calm down, Ella…calm down…listen “ it’s going to be fine. Your mom is going to be fine “ you’re going to get to her in time…I swear you’ll get there, Ella” Justin whispered, pulling her closer to him until he managed to get Nicola’s attention. He waved her over with his free arm when he saw her blonde head searching the crowd for Ella. As soon as she saw her friend, she plopped down beside them both and immediately wrapped her arm around Ella. When Justin saw that Nicola had clearly taken care of the situation, he pried his arm away from the now weeping girl and just looked on helplessly. He tried to imagine himself in the situation, and felt an immediate tugging on his heart at the thought that one day he would be the one getting the call about his mother barely hanging on to her life. He was getting choked up at the thought of it.
Clearing his throat, he kept his hand nearby Ella’s leg and continued to watch the two girls interact until Ella appeared from underneath Nicola’s embrace, a smile on her face, “I’m going to be fine” she announced to the two people surrounding her, “fine…I just need to…get on the bus and start packing…I think my stay on this tour is abruptly going to end…”
Justin ran a hand through his hair...that thought hadn’t even occurred to him. She was going to be gone? Like…a permanent type of gone? He watched her facial features and scolded himself for being so worried about himself when she was clearly in pain, “I’ll see if maybe I can get you an earlier flight out” he whispered to her.
Ella shook her head, “No, Justin “ I don’t need your help…I’ll get there…I just…I just need to…to do something” she laughed and groaned, “I can’t snap out of this…daze”
“Come on, I’ll help you get your stuff, Ellie…thanks Justin…”
Justin watched as the two of them began their trek towards the buses. He had interviews from early in the morning, all the way to the evening sound check before the show…if he didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to her now, he wouldn’t have the chance to at all. He wasn’t going to go rushing towards her while she was stressed with family issues, but…no goodbye? During his deep thoughts about losing her, Justin failed to miss the fact that she was standing right in front of him with one of those ‘I’m trying to be strong’ kind of smiles pasted onto her face. She nudged closer to him and he wrapped his arms around her tightly, “you’re going to be…you’re going to be okay, Ella” he whispered softly into her ear.
Ella shook her head, “I know I am, Justin. I’m not hugging you for confirmation of the fact “ I’m hugging you because I’m going to miss you like…like the sky misses the sun when she’s covered by clouds…”
Justin could feel her smiling into his shirt and if at all possible, he held her tighter and sighed, “And I’m going to miss you…well, I’m going to miss you like hell, Ella”
She laughed and drew away from him. With an assuring nod, he kissed her forehead and gave her a quick hug again before releasing her, “I’ll call you, Ella”
“You better, Justin…you better”
“Bye, Sunshine”
Ella’s eyes welled up with tears as she turned away from him, “bye” she whispered, trying to cement the image of him in her mind so that she would remember it clearly at every thought of him. Never would she have imagined that the pain of walking away from Justin Timberlake would be nearly as strong as the pain she was feeling about her mother. Put together, it felt as if the two of them were going to kill her.
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