I sat in the car, halfway down the block, thinking. The last hour replayed inside my head.
"Just as a joke, you know."
God what an idiot I was! Why didn't I tell her the truth? Why didn't I tell her I was one-fifth of one of the world's most famous pop groups who had throngs upon throngs of rabid girls following us everywhere?
"Probably because you're one of the least modest people on the face of the earth." I answered with a shrug. Sure, it makes sense now, but deep down inside, I still felt guilty. Like I was robbing Hannah of... something.
"You know, if you keep talking to yourself out loud, the guys are going to really start questioning your sanity." Sighing, I set the thin piece of white paper with her numbers scrawled across down on the passenger seat and thrust the gear into drive.
Call me selfish, but I didn't want her to leave. It was like I was losing her a second time, even though she had no idea who I was the first time around. If there was just some way....what, some way you could convince her to drop out of school and move onto the tour bus? No, something told me that would NOT sit well with her or her parents.
I backed the SUV into the driveway, where JC and Justin were busy shooting hoops. With a baby blue baseball cap pulled backwards to cover his massive curls, Justin whooped as the ball swished in, landing with a thud on the concrete.
"I'm money!" he said, holding his arms up in a victory sign.
"And Romeo arriveth once more." JC said as he came around to the driver's side, abandoning Justin and all his glory, "So, how'd it go?"
"We had a picnic." I replied in short, quickly closing the door.
"Whoa, a picnic? Dude, come on... details, details!"
I was already at the garage door. Before I could escape for good, JC stepped in my path and pushed my shoulder back.
"Yes, a picnic. You want details, huh? We had PB & J on white with the crusts cut off, Cherry Coke, she told me she was leaving, and brownies. There, satisfied?"
I shrugged his hand off my shoulder and slipped into the house. Stomping across the floor, my mood getting darker by the second, I flung my shoes into the entryway.
"Lance, are you alright, sweetheart?" I heard mom say, but I did nothing to acknowledge it. Instead, I threw open my bedroom door.
"Hey man. Sorry about the mess, just did laundry." Chris confessed, a sheepish grin on his face. I looked around. There were clothes everywhere.
"Fuck it." I said between clenched teeth.
"Whoa, who peed in your cornflakes, dude?"
I threw him an evil look. What? That was the breaking point, "GET OUT!" I shouted, pointing to the door.
"And REER to you too." he hissed, scraping at the air with his fingers," Pre menstrual syndrome getting you down? You know there are medications for..."
"OUT!" I was not in the mood for his cynicism. All I wanted... was to be alone.
"Lance! Open the door, man!" JC said, pounding his fist against the laminate.
With a pillow stuffed over my head, all the voices, all the problems seemed to fizzle into nothing.
-----
"You are going to talk, if you like it or not."
"Oh really. Like to see you try." I replied.
It was a few hours later, and I had come out of my room to see four confused faces and one concerned. Ignoring them all, I walked past and into the den where the TV was already turned to the sports channel. Sitting down at the very end of the couch, I paid no attention as the guys came in.
"Two can play this game." Chris said with a snicker.
"No man, don't."
"Something has to get him out of this funk." he whispered.
"Don't waste your time." I replied.
Moments later, I felt someone sitting next to me. I turned my head to see Chris's face contorted in one of the strangest faces I had ever seen.
"And this is supposed to do what, exactly."
Chris threw up his hands in defeat. Shrugging, I went back to the tube.
Just then, Busta came waltzing into the room, his little nothing of a tail wagging back and forth. Being the smartass he was, Justin smirked and lowered himself down to his hands and knees. He barked right in Busta's face.
"Are you gonna take that from him?" Chris asked, motioning to Justin.
In answer, Busta let out a loud yelp, and washed Justin's face with a bath of slobber.
"Thanks man, love you too." Justin said, one eye closed as he patted Busta's head.
There were a few seconds with only the sounds of the tennis match on TV filling the room. I wasn't in the mood to talk, but something told me that I wasn't going to get away with it.
"So she's leaving you, huh?" JC finally spoke up. I let out a deep sigh and looked down at my hands.
"Yeah. Going back to school tomorrow."
"Did you tell her how you feel?" Joey asked, sitting down next to Chris.
I shook my head, feeling more stupid by the minute. Justin scoffed.
"You need to march right over there and just grab her and say, 'You're all I ever wanted, you're all I ever needed. So tell me what to do now when I want you back' and then break out into the dance. Works every time." Chris suggested, nodding like he knew what he was talking about.
"Oh right, and then I should go into a cutesy little rendition of Drive Myself Crazy. Oooh, or maybe I'll Be Good For You?" I asked sarcastically.
"Hey man, that's my song!" Justin interjected. JC nudged his arm.
"Chill."
"By Jove, I think the lad's got it!"
And this is your brain on drugs. I smacked him in the face with a throw pillow. But I found myself laughing anyways.
"Uh I don't know, you guys. I mean yeah I want to tell her... but isn't it too soon?"
"No, it's gonna be too soon when she's halfway back to Atlanta and you're still here being miserable." JC said knowingly. He had a good point.
Time check--8:30. Good, she'd still be up. I took the paper out of my pocket, took a deep breath in, and picked up the phone.
"Hey man, I wanna be his cheerleader!"
"Get back in here!"
Punching in the numbers, I sat back and waited as one ring went by. Then two. Three...
"Hello?"
"Uh h-hi. Is H-Hannah home?" I stammered, biting my lip. Please let her be there, please let her be there.
"Yes, just one moment."
One hurdle cleared, I thought. Mentally, I was going over what exactly going to say.
"Yello."
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. Not even a sound.
"Is anyone there?" she asked.
"Hi." I managed to squeak out. Okay, you sound like a teenager, "Uh hi Hannah... uh, it's Lance."
"Hey, what's up?"
"Um... well, I-I kinda wanted to tell you something."
"Sure, you can tell me anything."
Stalling, I averted my glance from the bulletin board to where the guys were waiting by the kitchen door.
"Go Lance go!" Chris cheered quietly, pumping his fists in the air.
"Lance? Are you there?" Hannah inquired, a hint of urgency in her voice.
"Huh? Oh, sorry... yeah, I'm here."
"Soo... what's up?" she giggled.
"Uh, what I wanted to say is... I love you." and I hung up.
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