This did not just happen to you! Instead of killing Britney, you go upstairs to your bedroom and lock yourself inside. After an unsuccessful two hours of trying to persuade you to come out of your room…or to let her come inside and tape the two of you having sex…Britney leaves. Later on that evening, your mom calls to congratulate you.
If only she had something to congratulate you about.
Justin: (sniffs) "hello."
Lynn: (excited) "hi sweetie! I’m not going to keep you on here long. I just wanted to call and congratulate the happy couple!!! Let me talk to my future daughter-in-law!"
Justin: "I would, but she’s not here for you to talk to. And there isn’t a reason for you to congratulate."
Lynn: "what?!?! Why?!?!"
Justin: "she dumped me mommy."
Lynn: "WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Justin, don’t play with my emotions…and the two of you better not be trying to ‘Punk’ my ass!!!"
Justin: "we’re not. There isn’t even a ‘we’ anymore."
Lynn: (shocked) "w…well, what happened?!?!?!?!?!"
You tell her what happened. She hops on the next flight to L.A. Once she arrives she rushes up to your room and consoles you. As she is consoling you, Lynn makes a call to Lance and asks if she could borrow a few of his antique knives and guns…for Britney. In the middle of his packing, Lance realizes that if your mom goes to jail there might not be a chance to get you and your lost goddess back together…so, he stops.
Luckily you and the guys are only in the process of preparing to make a new album, so you don’t have to go out into the world and act like a part of you hasn’t died. Another plus is that you don’t have to leave the house…which is good, because you’re now a month into the breakup, and haven’t even left your room. Trace and your mom try to pry you out of your room everyday…with no avail. Joey even brought his kid by to try and get you out of there. Normally you can never refuse your adorable little goddaughter, but times have changed and you are now miserable out of your mind.
You look and feel horrible. You barely eat, and you never sleep. All you do is sit in your bed and write songs about her. You’ve tossed all of the pillows off of your bed, but one. This one pillow is what you use to cry on, because it’s covered with the pillowcase from that night she spent in your hotel room…yes, you did steal it, so. All you think about is her, the times you spent together, the first day the two of you met, how much she loved you, and how much you love her.
Finally, you leave your room around month three of your self-imposed exile from the rest of the world. Armed with only your heart, the ring…and a fresh change of clothes…you emerge from your bedroom and begin planning a way to get your Caramel Dream back. Lynn and Trace are amazed and delighted to see that you finally are wearing the same smile on your face that you used to wear when you were with your goddess.
Justin: "mom, call Jordanian and order a jet! Trace, call Applebee’s and order some grub! I’m getting my Goddess back!!!"
Lynn: (hugs him) "aaaaawwww, I’m so proud of you!!!!!!!!!" (kisses his cheek) "So, how do you plan on getting her back?"
Justin: "um…"
How do you plan on getting her back? Feeling defeated, you almost crawl back up to your room, but Trace stops you. It finally hits you!
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