Lynn is now inside talking to her. Outside, you stand praying that your mother can persuade her to let you come in. If she can’t do it, no one can…you already tried using your goddess’ mother.
Candice: *incoherent sobbing*
Lynn: "I know sweetheart, but he really loves you."
Candice: "no…"(sniffs)"…no he doesn’t!"
Lynn: "yes he does. If he didn’t love you, would he stand outside of your door everyday for a week?"
Candice: (sniffs) "maybe."
Lynn: "no, he wouldn’t."
Candice: "he’s just trying to be nice."
Lynn: "so, I guess he was trying to be nice when he locked himself in his bedroom for three months."
Candice: (begins to cry) "h…he did?"
Lynn: "yes. And he refused to come out if he couldn’t be with you."
Candice: "well, that’s what he gets for cheating on me!!!"
Lynn: "he didn’t cheat on you."
Did she just tell her the one thing that you asked people not to say?!?!?! You told everybody not to utter those five words! Leave it to your mom to say them! Now you’re going to lose the most precious and pristine thing god created. Just turn around and head towards the elevator. There is no way she will li…
Yay! She opened the door!
Lynn: (whispers) "go get her tiger!"
Ever since the day she met her, your mom has been saying off the wall shit. No time to think about mommy! Go in there and get your goddess!
Upon entering, you are surprised to see that her condo is in the same immaculate condition as it always is. Your bedroom looked like they held World War III inside. You expect to see her laying in a pile of soggy Kleenex and all disheveled, just as you were just a week and a half ago. But she isn’t. She’s sitting there on her couch in a baby pink poncho and a pair of Fetish jeans, her hair is feathered (and red, she never did like to keep her hair the same way for too long), and she’s wearing her favorite socks (sheep - but they look like clouds from a distance). And, instead of it smelling like someone has died (like your room did), it smells like her favorite scent “Love Spell”…just like always.
Someone took this better than you thought.
You slowly walk in and close the door. Instead of sitting next to her on the couch, you opt to sit in the chair next to it. There’s silence, because you don’t know how to start…that, and you don’t want to piss her off by talking while she’s watching “Passions”. She breaks the silence by turning the television off and tossing the remote on the coffee table. You now realize how serious this is…not that you didn’t know before. She turned it off while Lindsay Korman’s character was talking…she’s a huge ‘Teresa’ fan, and would never turn from “Passions” if her favorite character is talking.
There is another brief moment of silence before she speaks.
Candice: "why’d you do it?"
Why’d you…didn’t Lynn tell her?!?!?! Oh, you got it.
Justin: "don’t do this to yourself. I heard my mom tell you that I didn’t cheat on you."
Candice: "well then, why didn’t you come to me sooner and tell me?"
Justin: "because I couldn’t. once I crawled into my bed, I couldn’t move anymore. I didn’t know how to tell you after that."
You walk over to the couch, sit next to her and take her hand. ‘Bout damn time!
Justin: "listen, I’m really, really, really sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. All I wanted was to p…"(catches himself)"…didn’t my mom tell you what happened?"
Candice: "no."
You tell her what went down that dreadful day that almost destroyed you all’s will to live. After she processes it, Candice laughs at the mental picture of you being tackled by Britney.
Ah! There’s that angelic laugh that you would have killed to hear just a mere week and a half ago.
Candice: "I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to tell me what happened…when it happened."
Justin: "it’s okay."
Make your move now!
Justin: "here’s your chain."
As you pull the ring box out of your pants pocket, you purposely drop it on the floor. It rolls under the table, and you get on the floor to reach under and retrieve it.
Candice: "butterfingers!" (giggles)
Justin: (on floor) "only around you baby!" (chuckles) "I got it!" (now on one knee) "before I give this to you, I have something to say."
Candice: "okay."
Justin: "I wanted to tell you this on your birthday but…"
Candice: "better late than never…Adonis."
She just called you her nickname for you! Don’t fuck this up!!!
Justin: "right. Um, ever since the first time I laid eyes on you, I knew that you were the one…my one. I mean, at first all I wanted to do was hit it, and maybe call you the next day."
Ya big dummy! Don’t tell her that!!!! Jeez! Now she’s gonna say no!
Oh, she’s laughing. Thank your lucky stars!
Justin: "but, as the day went on, I realized how much I wanted to get to know you. And finally, I got the chance to at the Cosmo party. When you kissed me up in V.I.P. I felt like I got to see into your soul, and like you got a chance to see into mine. Now, I don’t know what you saw in my soul, but I saw the woman that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with in yours." (takes a deep breath) "so…I was wondering…"(slowly opens box)"…vous fera m'épouse, Candice Ilana Scott?" (opens box all the way)
Candice: (crying - gasps) "I…h…m…"(nods)"…uh huh!"
She said yes!!! She said yes!!!! She…said…YES!!!!!
You slide the ring onto her finger. The two of you stand up and she jumps into your arms. She wipes the tears from your face and you do the same to hers. You kiss her.
Candice: "I love you!"
Justin: "I love you too."
Candice: "and I’m sorry that I was bitch to you last week."
Justin: (laughs a little) "that’s okay."
Candice: "guess what!"
Justin: "what?"
Candice: "we’re getting married!!!"
Justin: "yup! You wanna set a date?"
Candice: "no."
Justin: "why not?!?!?!?!"
Candice: "because we’re getting married on April 12...better known as Candice Ilana Scott Day!"
Justin: "you mean: Candice Ilana Scott-Timberlake Day."
Candice: "yes, I do!"
Justin: "I do too."
You seal it with an Eskimo kiss. The two of you then head to her boutique to tell everyone. In the car ride over, the two of you share your three months of misery.
Candice: "so when can I see all the songs that you wrote for me?"
Justin: "next week, when we go house hunting."
Candice: "okay. I missed you."
Justin: "I missed you too." (kisses her hand) "you took this well."
Candice: "what are you talking about? I was miserable. I locked myself inside of my condo for three months. I never left, them heifers and their keys are the ones that kept coming in. all I did was lay on the couch and cry…and clean like a mad woman."
Justin: "oh! I thought that you were cool about it, because your place looked like it normally does."
Candice: "that’s because I cleaned it…after I smashed in my dining room table."
Justin: "wow! And I did was go upstairs to my room and cry."
Candice: "I did too, after picked the glass shards out of my hands and put all of your shit into a box. I didn’t clean it up until last month."
Justin: "oh. Goddess, I am truly sorry that I put you through all of this."
Candice: "it’s not your fault. It’s all my fault."
Justin: "no, it’s our fault."
Candice: "oh, so now it’s my fault!"
You laugh as you park the car. You walk around to her side, open the door for her, and place a soft kiss on her forehead. As you open the door to the boutique for her, Candice skips inside and shouts:
Candice: "GUESS WHAT EVERYBODY! I’M GETTING MARRIED!!!!! Woo-hoo!"
She does a little dance. The place is now filled with excited squeals and other feminine noises of excitement. All of the women crowd around her and gaze in amazement at the size of her ring…hell, you did too when Jacob showed you.
Candice: (sings) "don’t be fooled by the rock that I got! I’m still, I’m still Candi from the block!"
Tiffani: "I think you should change that to Icey from the block!" (laughs)
Charisma: "really!"
Arianna: "hey, let’s go ice-skating on it later!"
Mari: "yea!"
Justin: (laughing) "oh god. Ladies, it is not that big."
Trace: "the fuck it is! Hey, I’m having a party next week and I need some ice for the libation."
Carmen: "since she’ll be there anyway, you ain’t even gotta ask."
Candice: "yup!"
Candice stays at the boutique to work, and of course you stay there with her. While there, you all call your families and tell them the good news. Before she could call her fourth uncle, Candice gets a flood of calls on the boutique’s phone, the office’s phone, and her cell phone as well as dozens of e-mails and two-ways…she always said that her grandmother held water like a sieve. You call all of your family as well. Before you get a chance to call your father’s parents (whom were third on your list), they call and congratulate you…you always knew that your granny held water like Grandma Liz (Candice’s grandmother). Not only is your cell phone jammed with calls, but your two-way is jammed with messages as well.
The two of you bought a house in Hoffman Estates. Although your wedding is only a week and a half away, Candice still refuses to stay there with you. She doesn’t want any of your bad habits to make her rethink marrying you. Smart woman…because some of your farts are deadly!
Candice: (nudges him) "baby."
Justin: (half sleep) "hmm."
Candice: "it’s time for you to take me home."
Justin: (sleepily) "you are home."
Candice: "you know what I mean."
Justin: "give me a minute."
You doze back off. She actually sits there and waits a minute. After the minute is up she leans into your ear…and gives the loudest belch.
Justin: (startled) "what the?!?!?!?!"
There’s that giggle!
Justin: "oh, so you want to have a burping contest, do you?"
Candice: (giggling) "no, not really."
Justin: "and why is that?"
Candice: "because, I’d kick your arse!" (gets up) "now come on and take me home."
Justin: (salutes) "yes ma’am!"
You did it, you finally did it. You set out to get your goddess and make her yours for all of eternity.
Oh, and finally after almost three years, you do get to ‘king’ that. You don’t know what it is, but you’ve only been married to her for two weeks and she has turned you out. Isn’t the virgin supposed to get turned out? Must have been the stripping classes that she took…not that she needed them.
The End
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