Dear Kamal,
I’ve decided to be the better man in this situation (although frankly, it isn’t that hard). I hope all this causes you to look into yourself a little deeper, and figure out whether picking on a less than perfect guy like me makes you tough and cool. I don’t think so, but from what I gather you don’t care about my opinion, so I’ll try to keep this short.
Believe it or not, I’m sorry to hear you had so much trouble after I went off. At first I thought HA! The asshole deserves it! But now, when I think about it, I realize you couldn’t help it; you’re just a simple man from a simple town, who never feels the need to achieve anything other than a decent salary and an okay wife. If you get that, good for you, I wish you the best. And then when I really think about it, I realized why you picked on me and it isn’t because of my problems (despite what you may think) it’s because when you looked at me and looked at the way everyone treated me, you got jealous. I have brains, brawn, beauty, humor and a wonderful personality. I have a great potential, and people are willing to help me grasp that potential, people are willing to help me with anything actually and I don’t think it’s because I’m different, I think it’s because I’m nice: I say please and thank you, I say sir and ma’am, people always appreciate that. And okay, yeah, having autism does soften people up and will people to accept me but there is so much more to it than that. There are plenty of autistic people who would shut everyone else out and live in their own little world (hell, that’s what we’re renowned for) but I didn’t, I actually tried, and people appreciated that.
What I’m trying to say in a slightly indirect way is that I don’t want you to feel guilty, but I do want you to be a bit more open-minded, and if you see someone else higher than you and you feel jealous, use that as incentive to work harder and reach higher.
With sincerest regards,
Justin Timberlake
P.s. Everyone knew you stole that bagel.
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