I think I'd be a cowboy if I wasn't working in the call centre, because I really love horses. One time me and Dad and Momma went down to visit my auntie and my uncle called Todd and Agnes in Texas, where they have a ranch. And one day Todd got me up on an old and friendly horse called Peanut and showed me how to sit and how to use the reigns to steer. Then he let me have a little ride around the ring and at first I was worried I might fall off and break something but because Peanut was so nice and gentle with me I soon forgot to be worried and had a lot of fun.
The one thing I don’t understand about Cowboying is where the cows are because I didn’t go near one at all that day. But maybe it was the wrong time of day or something, or maybe it comes from Europe, because I know they always seem to get our words mixed up a bit. It’s all good though, I really enjoyed myself.
And then Agnes made this really really nice apple pie to have after roast dinner that night and I was so hungry after riding around that I ate all of my dinner and I could have eaten half of the pie if I was allowed. Mom smiled and said your cheeks are red and did you have fun riding and I said ''Yes. Lots of fun, and I wanna be a cowboy now'' and everybody laughed. Later on that night Todd came in my room and gave me his lucky cowboy hat and I said thanks and he said he was really happy that I had come round to visit and that he was surprised by what a wonderful young man I was turning into.
I get that a lot from family members who I haven't seen for a long time or never met, because I think they think because I'm autistic I should be in a lot worse condition, or dead soon, but I'm not and won't be. I think people think that because of Dustin Hoffman in 'The Rainman', and I hate Dustin Hoffman because of that. He either didn't research his role at all or did research his role but chose to ignore it because it wasn't so geared towards an Oscar win. It really annoyed me when I found out he won an Oscar for that because he is really shit in it. If I knew an address for the Oscars I would write in and complain.
A lot of people think that about me, and also of some of the impressions I give sometimes. People think I'm stupid because I can't understand some things which others understand straight away and need to get them explained to me a couple of times. People also think that I'm incompetent because I can't do some things that everyone else finds really easy.
But I can do one thing which no one else seems to: when I hear a song I can remember all the notes and words to it with just one listen, Dad even tested me once and I could re-sing a whole Lynrd Skynrd album with just one listen and he went ''wow'' and told Mom to come in and I showed her too. But I could never be a singer because I get stage fright and freeze when I'm on stage, I don't like it when everyone looks at me because it makes me think I'm doing something wrong. Momma and Dad did ask if I wanted to be a singer and said they’d support me whatever I choose which was nice, because it’s nice to know you have support. Sometimes I don’t feel that from everyone else, so it’s good that I have such a wonderful family.
Other than working at Work and being a cowboy I don't think I could do anything else, I'm content where I am and doing what I'm doing. Although, it would be nice to be normal, and not have to worry about what everyone thinks of me. I'm at a horrible point where I'm good enough to know there’s something about me that makes me different, but not good enough to know what it is. Like I have the highest IQ in the whole of Tennessee but I was put in a class four years lower than everyone else my age at Jeter because it was ''more my level''. But maybe that’s a bad example, because Mom agreed that that was stupid and wrong and pulled me out of all my classes and I haven't been there since. And that's something I'm definitely not gonna complain about.
If I do have to do something else, I hope it one day shows autism to be what it truly is. But I'd rather be a cowboy.
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