“It’s been two weeks three days long I’m all alone since you’ve been gone I can’t keep myself from asking why just wanna see my reflection in your eye.”
Justin stood up for the first time ever since his breakdown. For the past couple of days he had locked himself up and isolated himself from everyone including the guys. He blinked his eyes once again as he tried to focus. Moving towards the table he forced his weak emaciated body to walk on the cold granite tiles of his bedroom. His long lanky body was now thinner, his face was shady, hair all ruffled up and still wearing what seemed to be a couple of days old wifebeater and a oversized baggy black sweatpants. Grabbing the nearest piece of paper and pen he began to sit down and scribble some melody into the sheet music.
“Just know that I’m with you what you feel I feel it too”
He sung the melody passionately filling the room with his rich falsetto voice. He stroked the keyboard with pain and anger.
Flashback:
“Justin you know I love you right?”
“Of course I love you too baby” he said puckering his lips together.
“Um… Justin” She stuttered barely in a whisper.
“Are you okay baby?” he said wrapping his long muscular arms around her tiny waist.
“Yeah! Justin listen I can’t do this anymore” Ashley replied taking Justin’s hands off her waist.
“What do you mean?” he retorted grabbing Ashley’s hands with his own.
“You and me. This little relationship we have isn’t working at all. I need someone to be with 24/7 and look at you your career is getting bigger and bigger by the minute; you have millions of fans wanting to grab your sexy ass, your tour, your show this is insane Justin. I can’t do this anymore. I love you and God knows what I’ll give to spend every waking moment with you but I hardly spend anytime with you and when we do someone always steals you away from me. Your career gets the best of you Justin.” Ashley tried to control the tears that were ushered from her deep dark eyes.
“Baby please don’t do this to us. We had such a good thing going on. I love you and you love me that’s all there is to it” Justin said as he’s knees grew weak.
He felt a deep sinking feeling in his stomach not wanting to hear what’s coming next. It was as if his world was falling apart. Sure, he had money, fame, fortune, everything but at the end of the day he wasn’t Justin the superstar he was just plain old Justin and only Ashley could make him feel this way. He needed her in his life. She was his sanity, best friend and lover. She was the only one who understood him and loved him not for money but for who he really was.
“I’m really sorry Justin. Maybe someday but not now.”
“What did I do to deserve this?” He said brushing his hands through his long black hair.
“Justin it’s not you. It’s me. You’ve been a perfect gentleman all throughout but there’s just something missing.”
“Ashley just look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me anymore. Then I’ll stop this already”
“I can’t. Goodbye Justin.” She said as she rushed out of the door sobbing.
End of Flashback
“I’m feeling lately I’m going crazy wondering how I’ll go on with out you I keep on trying slowly dying thinking how I need you here with me” He scribbled down his sheet music.
He turned of the keyboard slightly caressing his throbbing temples trying to sooth the residing pain. He walked passed the keyboard grabbing a bottle of aspirin and some cold water from the fridge. He let the water flow freely down his throat and succumbed to its refreshing taste. Feeling much better, Justin walked back to the keyboard dropping his mug at the sight of the picture up against the wall.
Flashback
It was Christmas. Justin was holding a bottle of Bacardi running around the room acting like a little boy who was ecstatic to open his presents. It had been the very 1st time Ashley got introduced to Justin’s parents and she was very nervous of the impression she would leave them. Ashley paced around the room trying to straighten up her dress. Suddenly the 2 collided and feel on the living room floor. Justin was the first one to recover so he helped Ashley up. Ashley suddenly saw Justin’s cheesy smile so she looked up and saw a mistletoe hanging on the roof. Justin licked his lips slowly bending over to meet her own. He kissed her passionately and when she realized what he was doing she started to kiss back. Ashley felt a sudden surge of heat and lust for the man in front of her. She deepened the kiss and Justin grabbed her tiny waist letting his tongue slid through her opening exploring every area of her mouth and memorizing each and every corner of her mouth. Ashley slowly pulled away to grasp for air and bended back for another deep enticing kiss. After a few more short kisses they pulled away and saw a flash. Months later Justin’s mother sent her the picture.
End of flashback
Justin slowly cracked into a smile remembering how much he loved every single part of her. He loved her long shiny black hair that swayed along with the movement of the wind, her deep dark eyes which he could easily read so well and was a mirror to her heart, her long seductive lashes and her thin curvaceous body. To Justin everything about her was perfect. He could look at her for hours and be still mesmerized by her beauty; he could spend hours babbling about every single detail about her. It was too much. How could he have lost his one and only true love? How could he have lost the most important part of his life? The one he would spend eternity with. The one he envision growing old with. How could he every wake up knowing that the person who made everything wasn’t laying right next to him? Was she gone forever?
“I’ll wear your shirt the scent of you reminds me of the time that we became two there’s nothing else that feels the same everyday there’s sun it feels just like rain.”
He stroked the keyboard once again much harder than the first time trying to ease his pain out.
He needed her. He’s life without her just wasn’t the same. Everything felt so empty and he would give up all the mass of achievements just to have her next to him.
Flashback
Ashley opened the door. At first she was surprised that the house was dark since Justin said he would be there. Ashley was about to leave until she saw candles glowing everywhere and rose petals scattered on the floor. She began to follow the rose petals but when all the roses came to an end there stood Justin. A single roses step in his mouth. It was the first time they made love. The love they made wasn’t just a one night fuck. Justin being the perfect gentleman made everything extra special. The bed was surrounded with rose petals, soft sentimental music in the background, a bowl of strawberries and a can of whip cream on the bed side and candles illuminating on the surroundings. Everything was perfect. They made sweet passionate love, each one caressing the other and memorizing each and every part of the others body. To Justin it was almost like he would die of making love. The room was filled with passion and heat Justin never felt when he had sex with other women. It wasn’t just fuck it was genuine love. The night ended up with Ashley cuddling close to Justin laying her head peacefully on Justin’s bear chest. The next morning Justin woke up with a smile. He felt like he was the luckiest man on earth. He looked at her sleeping figure and brushed a hair from her face. Ashley woke up feeling his hands on her. She grabbed his shirt from the floor and began to sway her curvaceous hips trying to entice Justin to join her in the shower.
End of Flashback
Justin already had tears in his eyes. He wondered if he could ever feel the love that she had given her. If he could ever share a love like this once again. He blinked his eyes a couple more times and shook the idea out of his head. He forced himself to stop thinking about her but he just couldn’t he still loved her and wanted to forgive her no matter how much pain she had caused.
“If you think this is easy for me well your wrong sometimes I’m weak and baby I’m not that strong”
He scrawled on his paper.
He couldn’t take it anymore. He needed Ashley in his life and needed to get her before it’s too late. He tried to be strong but he couldn’t be strong anymore. All the emotion was eating him up inside.
“Your in New York and I’m in LA there’s so much to tell you words I need to say but your phone keeps ringing.”
He was already sick of being alone. Everything he saw reminded him of her. He finally decided to call her and bring her back in his arms. He punched the oh - so familiar numbers and let the phone ring but no one answered. He threw his phone shattering the mirror. At this point he didn’t care for anything else except to be with her. Feel her breath, watch her every motion. All he needed was her. He got his paper finally writing the last verse of the song. He shoved some clothes into a duffel bag grabbed his passport and changed into fresh new clothes. He smothered his hair with gel and washed his face. Feeling the cool refreshing water pass through his skin. He opened the door and suddenly he couldn’t breath. His body tensed up as he saw the vision in front of him. There she was the love of his life. The couple stood silently for a few moments just looking at each others eyes trying to interpret their feelings. Brown eyes to black.
“Ashley” He finally choked out in a whisper. He hugged her stroking her long black hair.
“Justin” Ashley called.
“Don’t leave” Justin whispered in her ear once again still hugging her tiny body.
“I won’t” She replied.
He traced her lips and finally leaned over and placed a deep kiss on her lips.
“Justin I love you. I’m sorry for leaving you. I’m so sorry” She sobbed leaning on Justin’s shoulder.
“It’s all the past now baby. We all make mistakes. I love you and that’s all that matters. Please say you’ll marry me” Justin said
The rain was already getting stronger. Ashley and Justin’s body was soaking wet.
“What?” Ashley’s eyes grew big unable to believe what Justin had just said moments ago. Justin suddenly dropped down on he’s knees grabbing a red velvet box from his pocket.
Flashback
Justin, Jc, Lance and Chris were all at a jewelry store getting ready for the upcoming Asia awards
“Jc” Chris called.
“What is it?” He replied. Chris suddenly flashed a 24 carat gold heart pendant.
“Isn’t this” Lance said raising his right eyebrow.
“Yes it is” Chris replied
“But I thought it fell in the ocean in the end” Lance said doing his best Britney impression.
“Well baby I went down and got it” Chris said coolly
“Aw you shouldn’t have.” Lance said pretending to wipe a tear. Then they both burst laughing hysterically. Jc had to laugh himself. They were so hilarious that people were hyperventilating at the prank that they had just played. The whole store suddenly grew quiet as everyone looked at Justin. Justin was holding a tiny white band with silver diamonds on it. He suddenly saw curious stares but he shrugged it off. He saw the ring and fell in love with it. He just knew he had to buy it for Ashley.
End of Flashback
“Justin!Justin!” Ashley said trying to get his attention.
“Ashley will you marry me?” he said for the 3rd time.
Ashley suddenly leaned over and kissed him.
“So I guess that’s a yes.” He said cockily.
Ashley just simply nodded.
“Yes! Oh my gosh! I’m getting married! Alright!” Justin said swinging Ashley all around.
“Dork! Way to ruin the moment!” “But you love me and that’s all that matters” Justin smirked.
“On the contraire my dear fiancé I love Ashton Kutcher but you will do.” She replied
“Oh your gonna get it!” he said lifting her up to his shoulders
“Bring it on!”
END
~ Without You : Justincase featuring Michelle Branch
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