WAITING FOR A LIFETIME
I had been staring off into space when Chris finally yelled at me to pay attention. Something, he RARELY did. It was usually JC or Lance, but Chris? I turned my head to give him a look.
"Listen, I know your girl is coming up today, but FOCUS, Justin. We got a lot of crap coming up in the next weeks and you need to know what's going down." Lance quipped.
"SOR-REE!" I didn't mean to have an attitude. It was just easy to dish it out.
They continued to talk about our hectic schedule between November and December. And I continued to let my thoughts drift to her.
She was coming up for the weekend to see the guys and me. It was about time!! I had to beg her father to let her come. Thank God it was a long weekend at her school, like Teacher workday or something.
One of our PR assistants Valerie was going to pick her up from the airport. She had left about an hour ago and should be back any minute.
So I was a little anxious.
"All right, everybody got that?" JC asked looking around the room. Everyone nodded, I included and Joey hit me on the head as he went to leave. I was going to retaliate but Valerie came into the room with a cell phone to her ear.
I jumped up and ran to her.
She silently gave me the phone and turned around to walk away. I was a little confused. "Hello?"
"Justin." Her voice was sad and disappointed, yet I had to smile at it.
"What girlie? Where you at?"
"I'm not coming."
"WHAT?!?" I was beyond outraged. My best friend was coming up here. I needed HER!!!!
"Dad changed his mind and said that I couldn't go up there."
I slumped into a chair, my back to the door. "What? He cannot do that!"
"Uhh, actually he can." I looked up and Chris was there giving me a look, I waved him away and was left by myself in the room.
"Meredith, I need you here. God, don't do this to me." I begged. I pleaded. Yet she said she couldn't come.
I was devastated.
"I'm sorry Justin. But, I have to go, OK?"
"Please, Meredith. PLEASE!"
"I can't do anything about it J. I just cant." She sounded down. She needed me too. I just knew it.
I gripped my hair with my free hand and rested my elbows on the table. "Fine then, I'll call you tomorrow or something."
"All right. Bye...Oh and Justin?"
"Yeah?" I just wanted to die.
I heard the phone click off and almost jumped when I felt someone's warm breath on my ear. "It's good to know you miss me."
I turned so sharply in my chair I almost fell out of it. "MEREY!!!!!!!!"
I tackled her. Literally.
It felt so good to have her in my arms again. She belonged there, no matter what I always felt that way. I could hold her for forever.
"Its called Oxygen Justin. I kinda need it to live." She giggled that soft giggle I was in love with.
God, she confused the hell out of me.
"I'm so glad you are here." I stated into her hair. Her shampoo was great. She uses that Thermasilk stuff. I don't know how or why, but it just is soo amazing smelling. I'll never forget the day I asked her what shampoo she used. She looked at me like a dog with two tails and 6 legs.
I didn't even TRY to mask the eagerness in my voice. "It seems like I've been waiting a lifetime for you to get here."
She pulled away and her eyes smiled at me mischievously. I realized she had tricked me and I slapped her shoulder playfully. "That's mean. You meany."
"Uuu, good one, Timberlake." She rolled her eyes with a wonderful straight smile.
"But you are! That's mean, you don't call someone up and tell them you aren't going to be able to come see them just to get a reaction."
"Well what if I told you something else to get another reaction." I looked at her confused and she continued. "I get to stay the whole next week, 7 full days with your bestest friend."
My eyes lit up at the thought, but I new better than that. "See, that just mean. There is no way you dad would let you do that."
"Yeah, on normal circumstances, but SOMEHOW, one of the freaks at our school was messing with some chemicals in the science lab. Some toxic stuff spilled in the room and they had to evacuate the building Thursday."
"Oh my gosh." I never really went to high school, but this was kinda odd.
"Yeah, but it gets better. So they were cleaning up the stuff and they found aspetos in the walls. So we got out of school for this next week as they clean all that up. It's SO refreshing to know that I go to a school that will give me cancer later on in my life. Cause you KNOW how much I LOVE that place."
I laughed at her sarcasm. She hated school. I never knew why, I mean most kids do, but she just HATED it. Absolutely was disgusted by it. The students, the teachers, the building, the rules, everything.
I'm glad I had a tutor.
"Come ere." I said simply bringing her into another hug. "I uhh, I've missed you, girl."
"I've missed you too Justin. I've-" She cut off, burying her head into my chest and holding me tighter. While I loved the way she was clinging to me, I knew that something was wrong. She was never THIS clingy.
The door swung open and I saw Lance look at her and me with a bright, shocked, and glad expression. He opened his mouth to say something to Meredith and I shook my head furiously. He mouthed, 'Is she OK?' All I could do was shrug.
When the door was quietly shut again. I pulled her away and sat her in the chair I was previously sitting in. I sat up on the table and rested my elbows on my knees, bending over so I could look at her sad eyes. "Meredith, what is it?"
"I- I don't know." She looked away, to the side. A habit she had when she was avoiding something.
I turned her head back with my hand on her cheek, keeping it there, so she couldn't look away. "Tell me."
"I've really, really, REALLY been missing you." She said the inevitable. "But...something's happened."
What was she talking about? She looked lost. "Babe, tell me."
She jumped up and started pacing the floor. "It's stupid. It's so, FREAKIN' stupid. I don't know WHY I let them get to me. I mean, dammit in a few months I'll be outta that place. Gone. I just don't know WHY they have to decide I can be their target. I swear its jealousy. But it still hurts!"
It hurt me to see her this riled up. It hurt me more that I didn't know what was going on. "What are you talking about?"
She continued pacing. "I was tutoring Casey Mitchell in Calculus. Out of the KINDNESS of my heart I told her to come by my house to study. She got there and was looking at all my pictures. And she saw all the pictures I have of you and me, and some with the other guys, too."
This COULDNT be good. "Oh god..."
"Exactly. And Casey Mitchell being the wonderful, caring person she is, decides to STEAL 3 of them. I don't know how, I don't REALLY care, but she printed them in the school newspaper and the whole school wants a piece of me now. I FEEL like I live in Dawson's Creek."
I didn't want to know. I knew this was bad. But I HAD to ask. "Well, what do people say to you?"
"I've been hounded in the hallways. Begged and bribed to get your and the other guy's photos, autographs, addresses, phone numbers...bodies. I've been picked on mindlessly, saying that they are fake photos and I am just some obsessed freak. I've been asked by Mr. Cutrup, Justin, THE PRINCIPIPLE, Why I decided to turn the school into a madhouse with my lie. He thinks I'm lying, Justin. And I haven't said anything. I didn't do anything. I just walked into school and the next thing I knew 40 people were surrounding me asking about our relationship." She sank to the floor and covered her face with her hands, sobbing.
I had no clue what to do or say.
It was all caused by me. I was to blame.
"I'm so, so, sorry." I whispered.
We just sat there. I wanted to go to her and hold her and tell it would be better, but I knew I couldn't do anything about it. All I could do was listen to her sob.
The door quietly opened and JC, Joey, and Chris stood there with smiles. They immediately turned to frowns when they saw us.
I was just as shocked as they were when she shot up and ran to them, hugging each of them like it was the last time she would get to. "What's going on?" JC asked while letting Meredith cuddle up to him.
It was like she was afraid that we were going to be taken from her.
"Some people, well, Meredith's whole school found out that she knew us and well, it hasn't been that pleasant." I spoke softly.
Lance entered the room and Meredith hugged him as well, lingering on him a bit. Her and Lance were rather good friends.
She told them the whole story, adding some details that she hadn't told me before. I felt so bad for her. She was such a smart girl. She said her grades were dropping and that this chemical spill thingy was the best thing that had happened to her all semester. It hurt me to see her this messed up. All because of me.
I was in wardrobe, getting ready for the show that night. She was lying on the couch on her side, watching me as I moved around the small room. We hadn't spoken much since she had told me the story. I didn't want to hurt her anymore.
AS if she read my mind she tried to ease my pain. "It's not your fault you know. It will pass. It's bad now, but they will all forget it in a few months. Maybe if I just pretend to be a teenybopper freak they will leave me alone. That way they wont be like grabbing at me and begging me. That's the worst part."
I stopped walking around and looked at her. "Yeah, but it IS my fault, Meredith."
"No, its not. You can blame yourself if you want. But its just your problem, because I don't blame you AT ALL. I blame Casey Bitchell."
I tried not to laugh, but I couldn't help it. "Bitchell, that's a good one, Merey."
She smiled at me brightly. "I know."
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later that night
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I watched her as she lay on her stomach, head at the foot of the bed, head propped up on an open palm. She was rummaging her hands through JC's hair, who was sitting up against the bed, watching TV.
Lance entered, followed by Joey into my hotel room and I forced my gaze away from her. "Does my room look like party central?"
"With Meredith around, it is!" Joey flirted, winking at her.
I shot him a glare of warning. He knew not to go after her. She was mine.
Well, not really. But I was possessive over her like a brother, or a boyfriend. But I wasn't that. At least not to her.
"Where's Chris?" Her sweet voice asked from the bed beside mine. She was still mesmerized by JC's hair. She said she had a thing for dark hair.
I wish mine were dark.
"He is getting ready, we are all going to a club downtown. You guys game?" Lance said looking at me then at Meredith hopefully.
She looked at me and scrunched up her nose. I nodded and turned back to Lance. "Nah, we are just going to stay here and chill."
"Oh man. All right, but later on in the week we will all have to. And I mean all, you included Miss Willis." Joey touched her nose and she lifted her head to bite at it.
Joey and Lance left the room and JC stood up to stretch. "Well, I think I'm going to go with them. Yall two kids behave." He smiled as he petted Meredith on the head and shot me a look.
I couldn't describe that look. It was encouraging and stern and amused and cautious all mixed together. When the door shut I looked over at her. She was quietly watching a movie on TV. I don't know what movie they were playing. I didn't care either.
As I watched her, watching the movie, I got a strange sense of courage and boldness. I hopped off my bed and leaped on to her and pinned her to the bed. I was lying firmly on top of her. She grunted when I pressed all my wait on her back.
"Uhh, what ARE you doing?" She asked tilting her head to the side to look at me. I smiled before kissing her on the cheek. She raised the eyebrow that I could see and a look of horror came across her face when she realized where my fingers were walking to.
"Please, Justin. I bed you, I haven't done anything to make you mad at me. Please...."
Too late. All I had to do was touch her sides and she squirmed. She was so ticklish. It was adorable.
I continued on with my attack. She had turned a while back, on her back and was facing me, pleading with me to stop.
Suddenly she stopped laughing, and I stopped tickling.
We stared at each other.
It was like I was someone else. I didn't know why or what I was doing as my head moved downwards. It all seemed so familiar. I all seemed so right.
I was a breath away from her pouty, beautiful, tempting lips. My eyes were already closed, hers were too.
"Don't..." She whispered firmly.
I looked up and saw her eyes were looking away and her head turned so she didn't have to look at me. She was avoiding me. That bad habit of hers.
I buried my face in the crook of her neck and wrapped my arms around her. I just wanted to hold her. "I'm sorry." I mumbled into her neck.
"Yeah, just don't let it happen again." Her tone confused me. It was firm and sure, yet disappointed and sad. Not disappointed that we had almost kissed, but disappointed that she had to stop herself.
She knew why and I knew why.
There were so many reasons.
But as each day passed those reasons seemed to become less and less important.
My emotions had been running wild the past few months. My feelings were becoming sharpened.
And my mind was more confused than it's EVER been.
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