WHAT CAN MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY
I peered out of the tiny plane window seeing a green and brown landscape below me. It was a company jet that her dad's company was flying us to Hilton Head with. The jet was fancy, expensive, and new.
I had a feeling I was going to really like this trip.
Not because of the expensive, luxurious pampering I would be getting, but because Meredith was now 18, her birthday was the day before.
And we were going to be spending a lot of alone time on a beach.
It was going to be romantic.
I was ready to give her birthday present. I was ready to spend a week of relaxation with my girl.
I felt something pushing against my knees and looked down at them, to see two bare feet pushing against my khakis.
I used the feet to guide me to the owner. My eyes traveled up the smooth legs to a pair of olive shorts. A red tee then began and I kept moving my gaze until my eyes met two deep brown eyes staring into mine, eyebrows connected.
"What are you doing? I've been trying to get your attention for the past 5 minutes." Said the person sitting across from me, facing me.
"Ohh, sorry. I've just been thinking about how much fun this is going to be."
Meredith stretched her arms over her head and yawned. "I'm ready for my massage." She nodded sinking in her seat and letting her feet rest in my lap. I looked down at them and back up at her, but her eyes were closed and she showed no signs of moving them. So I gave in, and shut my own eyes.
-------
I could NOT believe it. This was WAY too much. It was like Mr. Williams WANTED me to take advantage of his daughter.
Her parents had a room a floor below us, and we had connecting rooms.
I mean, I could just walk right into her room anytime if I wanted to.
It was pretty cool.
After we got all settled in, I realized that this was really just going to be a vacation for Mere and me. Which was fine by me. She said she was going to go down to the lobby and find some cool stuff for us to do.
I just stood in my room, waiting for her to get back, and unpacking my stuff. I was in the bathroom putting up all my stuff when there was a knock at my door.
I walked to it and looked through the peephole.
Suddenly, I became nervous, sweaty, and queasy.
Her dad was standing there.
I contemplated not opening the door, but he knocked again.
I took a deep breath, put my hand on the handle and pushed downward and pulled it open.
"Hey, Justin. Meredith isn't in her room is she?" He asked kindly. I sighed; thinking that was all he wanted. HOPING that was all he wanted.
"No, sir. She went down to the lobby." He nodded slowly and I stood there biting my lip, shifting my weight, praying that he would go away.
"Do you mind if I come in, I want to talk to you about something."
Just great. He was going to give me the, 'touch my daughter and I will kill you' speech. And I was so frightened. I was VERY VERY scared.
I was taller than he was; more fit, but still, I was terrified.
I cautiously sat on the edge of my bed and looked at him like a deer in headlights as he relaxed into the chair by the table in the corner of the room.
After a long, too long, moment of deadly silence, he spoke. "You know why I'm here Justin."
I looked at him shocked and tried to say something, but nothing came out of my open mouth.
I looked like a fish, gaping for words.
"I really don't know how I feel about you and her. I don't know exactly what you two are. I know you are close, but just how close I don't know, and I DONT WANT TO KNOW. But, she's my baby. Ya know? She's daddy's girl. And I just want you to know that I'm trusting you with one of the 3 most important things in my life. Don't you dare hurt her."
"I know sir. I'll try-"
He interrupted me, making my mouth clamp shut. "No, you won't TRY anything. She cares a whole lot about you, which's no secret. I just don't want you to think this is some fling. Because to her, its not."
I was stuttering because I was scared, but at least he wasn't physically assaulting me. "Mr. Williams, I-I, really truly care so much for your daughter. I won't hurt her. I promise, I won't do anything to harm her."
"Are you sure?" He looked at me through the slits of his eyelids, trying to figure me out.
I took a shaking breath and fought with myself whether to speak my feelings or not. I decided to be truthful. "You might not want to hear this, but I love Meredith. I love her more than anything."
I couldn't tell if the silence after my statement was good or not. But it was there.
Finally he removed his concentrated gaze from the floor to me. "Have you told her that?"
I shook my head shamefully no.
"You might want to do that." He smiled at me and stood up. I looked up at him. "I think she would really like to hear that."
He looked at the floor and then placed a firm hand on my shoulder. "She needs to hear that."
I nodded, trying to figure out what all this meant. "Well, me and my wife probably wont see you guys at all. I told Meredith to check in with us everyday. But this is her vacation; this is her time as an adult to be on her own, kinda. Take care of her for me. If you need anything, you know where our room is." He walked to the door and I followed him and held it open for him.
He smiled and turned down the hallway. "Night Justin."
"G'Night Mr. Williams." He was a few paces away when I called out. "Hey, umm...." He stopped and turned, raising an eyebrow at me. I chuckled and looked at him.
He was a lot nicer than I gave him credit for.
"Thanks."
He nodded and turned back around, heading for the elevators. I stood in my doorway, looking at him as he walked away.
I realized how much he and Meredith were alike, and different.
I shut the door to my room and walked back over to my open bag and finished unpacking. I was about to set my suitcase on the floor and I realized something else.
Her father had basically just given me his blessing.
And it dawned on me.
She was 18 and out of high school, I had her parents blessing, we were able to spend a week alone together, I loved her, she loved me.
So, what the hell was I waiting for?
-----
It was the next day around 4 in the afternoon. We had gotten up early, gone shopping in the resort area, and then of course she dragged me to the spa to get a massage.
Man, that junk felt awesome.
So, we were SO relaxed we had nothing else we wanted to do, except to lay out on the beach.
It was amazing, the only people at this resort were people that Meredith's dad worked with, we were the only people there under 25.
Which was ideal for me.
We laid there on our white lawn chairs. I was on my back, eyes close, sunglasses covering them, listening to the small stereo we had brought out with us.
I was being lulled to sleep almost by the sounds of James Taylor, when she turned her head from her arms and looked at me.
"Hey Justin?"
I turned my head and opened my eyes behind my sunglasses. Being that my eyes were shielded, I had a perfect opportunity to check her out. She as looking real nice in her navy bikini. It wasn't string, it wasn't conservative, and it wasn't provocative.
It was just her.
"Yeah, babe?" I smiled at her.
"What do you want to do tonight?"
"I don't care." I shrugged.
"Would you want to go for a walk on the beach after dinner?"
"I'd love that."
She smiled and turned her head back the other way. I figured now was as good of time as any, so I reached in my bag I had with me and pulled out a tape. I put it in the tapedeck of the stereo. When the music cut off, she propped herself up on her elbows and looked at me
"What are you doin?"
"This is your birthday present. It's not much, but hopefully you will like it." I paused before pressing play. "It's how I feel about you."
She turned on her side and sat up on the lawn chair looking at me as the music filled our ears.
I had gotten all the guys together and made our own version of the Temptation's "My Girl".
Yeah, I'll admit it. It was cheesy. But it was sweet. And we sounded REAL good.
It was basically the same music as the original, just our voices. I couldn't help it and I stood up and offered her my hands to take. She stood up and I brought her out into the open sand and began dancing with her and singing along with the song.
"Well, I guess you'll say, what can make me feel this way? MY GIRL MY GIRL!!! Talking bout my girl." I brought her close to me and rocked us back and forth as she giggled against me.
I twirled her out and back in, dancing now, with her back to me and my arms around her. Whispering the song in her ear. "I've got sunshine on a cloudy day with my girl, I've even got the month of May..."
She turned her head to stare into my eyes. She smiled and whispered a thanks. I nodded, pressing my forehead against hers. "That was the prefect birthday present."
"Well, It wasn't much and-" She shushed me by tilting her head up to mine and kissing me briefly on the lips. When she pulled away she spoke, "I said it was perfect." We stared into each other's eyes. She was waiting for me to do something or say something. And I just stood there.
I grinned sheepishly and squeezed her tight in my arms, before pulling away. I realized I was chickening out. That would have been a perfect opportunity to tell her, and yet I pulled away.
I looked at my watch and back up at her. "It's almost 5, you wanna go in and get ready for dinner?"
She nodded at me silently and sighed disappointed as she grabbed her towel from the chair and wrapped it around her, collecting all her other stuff.
God, what was I waiting for?!?
------
I carried my tennis shoes in one hand and her delicate hand in my other. She had her flip-flops, dangling from her other small hand. My feet, sunk into the wet sand as we walked down the deserted beach, being lighted by the few hotels and resorts along the way.
She squealed and jumped towards me when a wave, rushed over her feet, wetting the bottoms of her Capri pants.
"Darn it." She mumbled giggling at her soaked pants legs. She looked up at me, "oh well."
I pulled her away from the water. "Come on, let's go sit down."
Our feet immediately got covered in dry sand, sticking to the salt water still on our feet. I got to a place that was filled with soft, cool, white sand and plopped down, setting my shoes beside me. She stood for a moment, still holding on to my hand, looking up at the stars.
I looked up too, they were so clear and so many of them. I tugged on her hand to have her sit down. She sat down beside me, carefully.
We just sat there for a while, looking up at the stars and out at the waves, occasionally seeing the lights of a boat pass by out on the water.
My mind was filled with thoughts and words and actions on how I could get this across. I had never been one to stumble or worry about the right things to say to women. I had always been pretty straightforward and good at getting my feelings across.
But then again, this was the first time it really mattered.
She looked over a me and I turned to see if she was going to say something. Instead she reached down to the sand and picked up my hand.
She brought it up against hers and seemed to study and compare it to her own.
"Having fun?" I smirked. She smiled, still mesmerized by our hands and nodded. "uh huh."
I grabbed her hand with mine to stop her and took my other hand to lift her chin, and make her look directly at me.
"I need to tell you something." I spoke to her and she nodded, encouraging me to continue.
I took in a breath to gain my courage and some brains on how to blurt out what I needed to say. "I've been meaning to tell you this for a long time now. Ever since Valentine's Day." I whispered.
She tilted her head to the side and looked at me much like her dad had done the day before, like she was trying to figure me out.
"What?" She asked as if she had no clue as to what I was going to say.
And she didn't. She didn't have a clue that I loved her. I couldn't believe I didn't realize it before. She had absolutely no idea how I felt about her.
"You have no clue do you?" I asked almost amused by this.
"Huh?" She asked me, leaning forward as if she didn't hear me correctly.
I smiled and scooted closer to her, wrapping my arms around her. She shrugged, giggling, as she returned the embrace. I smiled contently in her arms.
My eyes closed, as I smelled her shampoo, her feeling right in my arms. I couldn't describe the feeling. It was like coming home after 4 months of a grueling tour, yet it was 10 times more refreshing.
I pulled away, slightly so that my lips were right by her ear. "I've been meaning to tell you..." I pulled father away, looking down into her brown eyes. I leaned forward, pressing our foreheads together.
I stared deep into her eyes. "...That I love you, so very much." I sighed, finally. There, it was out. My eyes closed and tilted my head to graze her shocked lips with mine. I unlocked our lips and opened my eyes to find hers, close to me, staring at me, crying.
"I've been in love with you, for so long." I whispered, wiping the wetness away from her cheeks.
She half sobbed half laughed and smiled. "You're serious?" She asked for reassurance. I scoffed and rolled my eyes to lighten the mood. "Duh."
She pushed at me but ended up clinging to me, her face buried in my neck as she held me.
"Thank you, Justin." She looked up and after darting her eyes between my eyes and lips, she kissed me.
In a way it was like our first kiss. It was the beginning of something beautiful, magical, and life-long. It was a new feeling.
And even though I didn't really know where it would lead, how it would end, if it would end, and how it would change my life. It didn't matter. Not now, anyway.
I was in love, and someone was in love with me. Not because I had money, not because I had fame, not because I was Justin Timberlake of Nsync. She fell in love with me because to her I was just Justin. Her best friend, across the street.
Her hand came to the back of my shaved head. Not to completely change the subject, but I really like this new look, well it's not new, now. Sorry, I'm getting off topic. Where was I? Oh yeah...
So her hand pushed my head to the side, forcing our lips apart. We gasped for each other's breaths, still very close to one another. "I've been needing to hear that, for a long time now." She whispered.
I nodded and leaned down to claim her lips again. After a slow, meaningful battle with her mouth, she pulled away, almost bringing me with her. She laid her head on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around my torso. "Will you do something for me, Justin?"
"What?" I asked, kissing her head, and looking out at the rolling, dark, sea in front of us.
"Will you just hold me?" She whispered.
I smiled and rested my cheek on the top of her head, wrapping my arms around her small body that was situated in-between my legs, with both of hers, bent, and hanging over one of my thighs. "Of course."
"Thanks." She said, sighing contently.
"Sure, babe." I closed my eyes and let my love for her, fill my body from my toes to the short hairs on my head. I couldn't think of anything logical or meaningful to say, so I just spoke what was on my mind.
"Anything. Anything for my girl."
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