Chapter 8
Lance drew back a step.
“What?”
He hadn’t expected to hear those words so soon from her lips and wanted to be sure he had.
She grinned softly, obviously knowing what he was thinking. “I said I love you Lance”
His grin reached from ear to ear as he lifted her in his arms and spun her around. She giggled and he stifled it with a searing kiss.
“You just made me the happiest man alive”
He kissed her again. She didn’t resist. He didn’t think she would.
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“Okay…deep breaths”
Justin straightened his jacket for the tenth time in nervous anticipation. Any minute now Amber, the woman he had loved more than life itself, would stroll through those doors. He couldn’t believe that in a few mere seconds he would lay eyes on her for the first time in 2 years.
His heart was already pounding at a quicker pace than it had just seconds before. He shook his head, as he tried to get a grip on himself…and that was when he saw her….
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Amber hesitated outside the restaurant doors and took a deep breath. She considered turning back and heading for her car. She didn’t normally agree to meet strange men for lunch but Laura-Kathrine knew him and liked him and at times he reminded her a lot of Justin and made her laugh.
‘It’s no big deal’ she thought and with that she pulled the door open and stepped inside.
As the door closed behind her she began to look around the room and brushed her hair back off her forehead and behind her ear.
‘You’ll know me when you see me…how cryptic is that?’
As she glanced to the right about 3 tables from the center towards the back she saw him. He slowly rose, locking eyes with her. Her jaw dropped open and a hand flew to cover her mouth as he made his way towards her.
Those deep blue eyes she had so loved stared into hers unblinkingly, the way that had endeared him to her, the hair she had loved running her fingers through. Shaking her head she turned and fled from the restaurant. Justin, her beloved Justin was alive?
“Amber wait!”
She heard his voice behind her and the familiarity of her name on his tongue, the timbers of his voice caressing the name, brought tears to her eyes and made her run even faster. A hand clamped around her elbow and turned her towards him,
“Amber stop, let me explain”
Angrily she swiped at the tears falling from her eyes, “Explain!? You want to explain to me what you’re doing standing here…2 years after I went to your funeral, watched you lowered into the grave…2 years after you showed up at my house kissed me and made me think everything was okay, that you’d see me in a few days and then disappeared from my life forever…why I was never worth keeping in touch with? Need I continue…J…Jus-”
She turned away unable to say his name. Rubbing her temples she released several deep breaths repeating over and over as her tears fell
“It’s just a dream…it’s not real…wake up Amber”
Justin cursed himself for doing this to her and did the only thing he could think of; pulled her into his arms and held her close, rubbing his hand in soothing circles across her back.
The familiarity sent the all familiar jolt through his chest at how perfect she fit him and how good she felt there before reminding himself that she had a boyfriend and released her as he did he felt her hand cross his face and felt the sting of the blow as she stepped back.
“You wanted to explain so explain!”
Justin released a breath. This wasn’t how he had pictured their reunion. Or maybe he had but had sugar coated it in his eagerness to see her.
“I wanted to talk to you but for reasons I can’t explain I couldn’t…”
“Reasons you can’t explain how original!“ She scoffed throwing her hands in the air.
“I thought about you everyday since I left but you obviously can’t say the same” He was growing frustrated now and it was beginning to show.
“That’s not fair! I love Lance and he loves me! What did you expect me to do! wait forever for someone who wasn’t coming back! Who was supposedly dead!?”
Justin's anger suddenly dissipated. “You love him?”
Amber raised her head deliberately and stared him straight in the eye as she delivered her blow, “Yes. I do. I love him. And at least I know he won’t just disappear tomorrow”
Justin winced and reached for one of her hands which she quickly pulled away. He sighed in defeat. “That night at your house, the kiss, the words…it was all sincere”
“Gee thanks for clearing that up for me. Now at least I know it’s not just cuz you wanted to get laid before you left me” she lashed out.
Justin’s jaw dropped momentarily,
“What happened to you!? I never pushed you towards sex. It was never about that. I had... I had a hard day at work and all day the only thing I had on my mind was you. The day dragged by. That kiss wasn’t to get you worked up so I could get laid.
It was all my pent up frustration at not being with you and missing you that had been bothering me all day and was to serve to show you my love for you. Not to get you to “make love to me.” -he raked a hand back through his thick curls and sighed heavily before continuing-
“I got a page and I left to see what it was about. I can’t tell you the details but I never expected it to be as drastic as it ended up being. I never expected to have had to fake my death or be hidden from you for 2 years. The only thing that kept me from slitting my wrists in agony was my love for and thoughts of you and the hope that I’d see you again…When I finally got back.
I knew this would be your reaction to me if I just called you up. So I faked a screen name just so I could see how you were doing and talk to you. It was no longer enough and I had to see you again…Maybe it would’ve been better if I truly had been buried”
He could feel moisture stinging his eyes and forced it away. She was in love with another man. His bestfriend. She despised him now and spoke to him with venom. This wasn’t the woman he remembered; had fallen in love with…and it killed him that she no longer returned his love.
Amber swallowed and then said, “Maybe it would have…though…for Laura-Kathrine’s sake I’m glad you didn’t”
So saying she turned and walked back to her car in long, heavy-laden steps. Unlocking her car she slid inside and started the car.
Placing her hands on the steering wheel she rested her forehead against them and let the tears she had been fighting seep out in torrents. It had been so hard to talk to him the way she had; so cold. But if she hadn’t she would have lost it and she couldn’t let herself lose it in front of him.
The 2 minutes that he had held her in his arms had been too much as is. The familiarity of his embrace had set her heart racing, had been comfortable and familiar; as though he had never left and had sent her blood to boiling.
She refused to let herself feel that way about him, to feel those things again. She was in love with another man, a more stable man who loved her in return and who hadn’t left her alone for 2 years but who had been there to pick up the pieces.
Starting the car she dried her tears and made a vow to herself to avoid Justin Timberlake with every fiber of her being and to stay well away from his touch. She was Lance’s girl now and nothing not the return of an old flame who she had just gotten over would ever change that.
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