Written by Aysia Anderson
(Based off of the song performed by India.Arie)
Just breathe, Talleah reminded herself as she stood before the grand staircase of the hotel. Distinguished gentleman and refined ladies circulated around her appearing to be more perfect than perfect should have allowed in their tailored suits and elegant dresses. An overwhelming feeling of regret swept over her as orchestral music floated throughout the air and her tear-blurred eyes took in the sight of the hierarchy. She had no place amongst these people.
“Why did I come here?” she asked herself and had just about decided to leave when her eyes fell upon her reason.
Standing behind the stone columns of the railing above her he suddenly embodied all of her dreams come true. He stood tall in a black and silver pinstriped Armani suit with his dark blue eyes searching the floor below. She couldn’t help but to wish, as she looked up at him longingly, that she was the person he was looking for.
Carefully the young woman found her footing on the marble stairs and began her ascent. She hoped that it wasn’t obvious to all of the patrons that she wasn’t used to walking in stilettos as she held the bottom of her dress in her hands in order not to trip over it. She’d give anything to trade them in for her comfortable pair of ADIDAS sneakers. As beautiful as she had been made up for the evening she felt less like her true self than she ever had before but she was doing this for a reason. She was doing this for love.
As Talleah met the halfway point of the insane amount of stairs Justin took a deep breath. Why was he standing there waiting for a woman that would never come? Hadn’t she said that what he wanted and what she wanted were two completely different things? Why was he wasting his time?
His jaw set tightly as a small hand folded perfectly into his as if it were always meant to be there. He felt a mix of contentment and sorrow at her touch and swallowed his pride as he turned to face her. She was so beautiful standing before him staring up with large doe-like brown eyes. In routine their lips met and he began to walk with her toward the entrance of the ballroom.
I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity
Talleah’s brows furrowed in wonderment as she finally reached the top of the stairs and made her way over to the spot where Justin had been. How had she lost him in such a short period of time? She had only looked away from him for what seemed to be a moment to ensure that her footing was right on the stairs but now he was gone. Had he seen her and vanished? Had she really gone through all of this trouble in vain?
“Pardon me, miss, but are you alright?” An old man with a trimmed white beard asked with a look of concern on his face as his wife stood at his side chatting with another woman of prestige, “Miss?”
Talleah blinked slowly as she clued in that he was speaking to her and apologized for not answering immediately. Her cheeks were damp with unnoticed tears leaving behind watery streaks of black mascara. She knew that she felt broken by Justin’s sudden disappearing act but she was unaware that she was physically showing her emotions.
“Here, dear, take this,” he handed her his handkerchief from his breast pocket as his wife turned to see what he was doing. Instead of looking down her nose at the young woman as she was expected to do she opened her beaded designer handbag and pulled out a compact. With a warm smile she handed it to the young woman, whom thanked her graciously, and waited for her to dry her eyes before accepting the compact back and replacing it in her purse.
“Are you here with someone, young lady?” She asked gently.
Talleah shrugged her shoulders coyly as she fidgeted with her fingertips that were covered in black satin gloves that stopped just above her elbows. “I was invited by someone but we had a bit of a disagreement earlier. I just feel so out of place right now as if I shouldn’t be here at all.”
“You’re here for a reason. Just follow your path and everything will be fine.”
I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
He couldn’t stop thinking about her even as he stood at the side of another woman. She was the only thing on his mind. He wanted to be there with her listening to her whisper scandalous secrets into his ear. He wanted to be laughing with her as her intoxicating laughter filled the room. Every moment that he ever shared with her was memorable. She brought out something inside of him that he couldn’t explain.
Still, she had made her decision, hadn’t she? He had given her the choice between spending the rest of her life with him and choosing another path alone. Her decision hadn’t been in his favor and though he wished that he was with her he also wanted nothing to do with her. The pain that she had caused him was unforgiveable.
“Eleanor, how is it that you ended up with this handsome man as your escort tonight?” The extravagantly dressed middle-aged woman in denial that her best years had passed, whom had been chatting up his date for what seemed like forever, asked while throwing a wink in his direction.
“I’ve been asking myself that all night,” Eleanor laughed, linking her arm with his and running her free hand over his bicep through his suit jacket. “I was simply dumbfounded when he called and handed me an invitation.”
Eleanor was a cute little thing with red hair and ivory skin. The powder pink dress that she wore kept her conservative but the hair flowing over her shoulders in huge waves gave her a hint of mystery. She was attractive but she wasn’t what Justin truly longed for. She was simply a distraction and the furthest thing from Talleah on the spectrum. They were like night and day both physically and mentally.
“I hate to step on toes, dear, but Justin you know very well that you could have rang me.” The older woman stated.
Justin forced an uneasy smile, “I don’t think Mr. Hughes would have appreciated that.”
“What Mr. Hughes doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” She flirted blatantly and stroked a perfectly manicured hand over the underside of his chin just as her husband came to join them.
“Ophelia, leave the poor boy alone. You’ll make Eleanor jealous.” The old man secured an arm around his wife’s waist.
“At least someone would have been shaken up tonight,” she shrugged and let her eyes travel the length of Justin’s body despite her husband’s warning.
Suddenly a scoff escaped from Eleanor’s lips and they all turned to her direction, “What is she doing here?”
Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing
The second that his eyes caught the picture of what his date had already seen he felt faint. There she was standing in the doorway in an elegant satin strapless gown with her hair pinned up into a classy French twist. The bustier-like top was patterned in large vertical black and white stripes while the bottom was the purest shade of white he had ever seen. As breathtaking as she was he wasn’t impressed by the gesture. Reinvention was not a tactic that he approved of in regaining his good graces.
When her brown eyes finally fell upon him he noticed her take in a deep breath. He was locked into place as she nervously made her way over and his date pleaded with him to continue socializing with the other guests. Common sense told him to listen to the young woman that he had arrived with but his foolish pride forced him to ignore her pleas and stay put.
“Talleah, why are you here?” were the first words to escaped his lips as she came to a stop a few feet away from him and rose a questioning brow.
“You invited me,” she shook her head.
“That was before our disagreement, right?”
“You wouldn’t answer your phone when I called you so that I could finish saying what I had to say.”
“Somehow,” he nodded his head, “that should have been a clear sign that I didn’t care what you had to say nor did I want to see you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, my date and I have people to see so I’d appreciate it if you stayed away from me.”
Talleah’s chest heaved with each painful breath that she took as she watched helplessly as he and his beautiful acquaintance turned their back on her. She didn’t deserve this and even if she did how could he do what he was doing? After all, hadn’t he been the one to bring up the seriousness of their relationship and their future together? Had she not seen him staring out desperately from the second floor in search of a familiar face? Was she not that person?
I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here
“Justin, please don’t walk away?” Her voice was strained with desperation as she reached out to him. “Please, don’t do this?”
“Don’t do what, Talleah?” His voice rose in anger and he had to take a moment to check himself because he could feel the eyes of the elite shifting into their direction as he turned back to face her. “Don’t do what? You’re the one that chose this path so maybe you should learn to deal with the decisions that you make.”
“You’re right and I should but this was one decision where I couldn’t have been more wrong. Just let me explain myself.”
“Talleah, right now, at this point I’m not sure that I want to hear anything that you have to say. I honestly don’t know if I want to have anything to do with you ever again.”
Her head dropped at his words and her eyes went back to her covered hands where her fingers were once again fidgeting. She couldn’t stop the tears from forming as she stood before him and all of the people in the ballroom feeling like a complete fool for showing up in the first place. She had nothing more to lose.
“Justin, I know that I hurt you and if there was any way that I could go back and change the way that things turned out then I would but you and I both know that it’s impossible. You asked me to be someone that, at the time, I just could not be. You wanted someone mature and ladylike to stand at your side and represent the perfection that you are but that was not who I was,” she struggled to breath as she forced herself to look up and into his eyes, “it’s not who I am.”
“I never asked you to be anyone that you weren’t…”
“I know that I didn’t say everything that I needed to say at the appropriate time but right now I’m trying to get it right. It’s possible that all of these stipulations were all in my head but that’s not what’s important right now. I need you to hear me. I need you to see me.”
If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respect's the spirit world
And thinks with his heart
“Justin, you are everything in this world that I have ever or could ever hope for in a man. You’ve forced me to really look at myself and that’s something that I’ve avoided for so long. I don’t know just exactly who I am and I may never know but I know the person that I am when I’m with you.” Talleah swallowed back a sob. “I know the girl that laughs at your jokes and takes part in your midnight runs to the park to go on the swings and jungle gyms that we’re too old to play on. I know the girl that’s figured out a way to make you smile in the morning even when you’re grouchy and otherwise anti-social. I know the girl that is no longer content sitting in front of a television unless you’re laying on the couch with your head on her lap as her fingers run through your hair…and I know the woman that’s finally come to realize that the man standing before her right now is the one and only person she has ever and will ever love in her life.”
Justin shifted his jaw as his eyes studied the wood paneling of the floor and his mind sucked in all of the information that was being thrown into his direction. This was a woman that had always been his friend but the second that things got too hot had decided to run away. This was the same woman that would give her body to him every night but had been unwilling to give him her heart. He didn’t know what to make of it. How could he trust her now?
I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can
“Please don’t doubt my words because of the mistakes that I’ve made in the past? I am well aware that I can’t erase all of the pain that I’ve caused in your heart but I swear to God that if you give me one last chance I will do everything within my power to make it up to you.”
All eyes in the ballroom fell upon Justin.
“All you have to say is ‘yes’ or ‘no’,” Talleah bravely took a step closer to him forcing him to look into her eyes. “If you say the word then I’ll leave you alone and you’ll never have to see me again another day in your life if that’s the way that you want things but if you say yes…”
“If,” he overemphasized each of his words, “I say yes?”
“I’ll do anything in the world that you ask me to,” her voice was barely above a whisper as the tears slid from her eyes and over her cheeks.
“You’ll do anything?”
“Yes,”
I am ready for love
Here with a offering of
My voice
My Eyes
My soul
My mind
Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love…
“I want you to be nothing more and nothing less than who you are,” Justin cupped her face in his hands and stared so deeply into her eyes that she felt as if he had ensnared her soul, “because the person standing right here in front of me is all that I’ve ever wanted. It’s not the dress or the hair or the jewelry, Talleah, it’s you.” His hands slid to the back of her head where he removed the bobby pins securing her French twist freeing her long black hair. Once he was satisfied he dried her tears. “Are you ready to let me in…?”
I am ready
