Okay so I usually hate sharing my life with people but I was told this maybe the best remedy to keep me smiling. I had better start from the beginning. My name is Samantha Ortana. I live in New Jersey. I am 22 years old; well I will be 22 years old soon. Anyway, my mom’s best friend happens to be Lynn Harless so I rather know her son Justin. Come on you know Justin Timberlake 1/5th of ‘N Sync. Currently I am dating no one, and I am fine with that. Boys are nothing but trouble. Most boys but there are always that exception like Justin, JC, Chris, ok all of ‘NSYNC. All six of us are like one big happy family. Which isn‘t a bad thing it’s just that I like...no wait let me change that to LOVE Josh then more of a friend. He is so amazing, sweet, and funny and... you know if I tell you all the things that he is I will die before I finish...LOL I made a joke...you know I’m gonna die... oh wait I am.(dramatic pause of silence).Back to JC, he has been there through the good, the bad and yes the ugly. He was the first and only person I told that I was dying. Yeah that’s right Justin who is my best friend in the whole world doesn’t even know. I will tell them I just can’t right now. No offense to them or any of their fans but they are honestly the biggest babies you will ever meet. If you tell them something, they don’t as if they will either:
A. Cry
B. Cry, tell their mommies
C. Cry, and tell their mommies and throw a fit or
D. All of the above and then pay someone to fix it.
Moreover, that’s what I fear. The guys all know that no matter who you are and how much that person(s) think it will help, I am not and never will be a charity case. I have leukemia but you know what the worst thing is I’m not scared that I am going to die. It’s not dying soon enough. Now I know what you all are thinking why she wants to die. All the people are not going to the news the same, but it is Justin that I am the most concerned about. Tell me what you would do if your best friend told you that you were dying. I am so scared to even think about what he is gonna do or say not only to me but to people around him and himself. Well anyway, tomorrow I will tell them. Thank you for listening but I need to get to bed. Good Night
~Next Morning~
Today is a very important day. Today is the day I am going to share my “secret’. I am leaving my house as we speak to go to Josh’s...I mean JC’s...you know what he is and will always be Josh to me. It is now 4:51 and I am suppose to be at his house promptly at 5 so I am gonna go get ready and leave. I threw on my favorite sundress, it is powder pink with lines of silver running all through it, and I out on my strappy white sandals and went outside to my car. My silver Mazda Protégé 5, oh how I love that car, I turned on the car and out from the speakers came blasting SWV’s “Weak”. It took 5 minutes to get to Josh’s so I arrived exactly 5:00. I was so nervous but I had to remember not to let it show. I walked up to the door and rand the bell and was greeted by Joey.
“Hey Sam, what up baby” Joey said as he gave me a hug.
“Nothing Joe, just waiting to spend the day with six of the hottest guys” I said with a sexy smile and a wink.
See that’s one thing I forgot to mention, the guys and I have this very flirty relationship, I play as if I want them and they do the same. I mean for the most part I am just playing, except for when it comes to Wade. I love flirting with him... anyway back to what was going on. I walked over to the couches and on one couch were Lance, and Joey. Josh and Chris were on a couch together. Justin was on a couch by himself. He immediately stood up when he saw me and enveloped me in the biggest hug I have ever encountered. When he finished hugging me, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked back to the couch he had just come from. I was ready to take the seat next to him when JC got up and hugged me, kissed me on the cheek. It took me by surprise a little but then he whispered, “It will be okay” in my ear. I then proceeded to take my spot next to Justin. This was it I was going to tell them. “I have something to tell you guys...I…I have leukemia and it’s not looking good for me right now. I went to the doctors and he said I probably won’t have too much longer”. I looked around to see what kind of reactions I was getting but that was just I, no one said anything. Everyone just has a catatonic expression on their face. Then I heard a very quiet “what can we do?” I turned my head to see who that voice belonged to. Just as I did I saw a look of fear and compassion in Justin’s eyes, a look I had never seen before. I looked straight into his eyes and replied “don’t act differently”. I was taken back when he got up from the couch and walked upstairs, he did not even say anything to me. I immediately stood up to go follow but was stopped by Josh’s arms and him saying “Just give him time Sam”. Time was the last thing he needed, he needed me, and with that I ran up the stairs to Justin’s room and stood outside the door for what seemed like 5 minutes. I had no idea what to say to him. I slowly opened the door to find Justin sitting on the edge of the bed with tears in his eyes. I could only stare, this is a guy who I have only seen cry once when his grandpa got sick. I walked over to where he was sitting and took the spot next to him on the bed. I still was so scared to what his reaction might be, but I took the chance and put my arm around his shoulder. He turned to look at me, and the tears started falling form both of our eyes. We spent the night together just holding each other crying. We both knew it would be a long painful journey ahead.
I woke up the next morning with a pair of arms around my waist it was a very good feeling. I turned over trying my hardest not to wake the sleeping body next to me. I somehow managed to slip out of his arms without even waking him. I walked into the bathroom and walked right over to the mirror. My face was still stained from my night of crying. Boy was this going to be a lot harder then I thought.
