Chapter Four
The car roared to life as I closed my eyes and turned on the radio. I was heading over to Justin's and that certain day kept playing in my head. I told him that I didn't know and told him that I had to go. And now here I was having to face him to finish the assignment. Luckily this wasn't going to be just me and him, alone in his house. The rest of the guys were going to be there for a cook out.
Chill out whatcha yellin' for?
Lay back it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
you will see
I unconsciously reached forward and turned it up and listened to it intently. I always liked the song, but I never got the lyrics to it, and my mind was rambling on with the situation with Justin at hand. I definitely needed something to distract me.
I like you the way you are
When we're drivin' in your car
and you're talking to me one on one.
But you've become
I started thinking about the day that Justin and the rest of the guys got their contract with Lou Pearlman and Transcon. I didn't notice it then, but from that day on Justin slowly changed, He was a monkey, a puppet that he let people boss around, and control. I sighed as I turned onto the highway and headed towards his house.
Somebody else round everyone else
You're watching your back like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool you look like a fool to me
Tell me
I finally turned into his driveway and got out of the car and headed towards his back yard. "Oh, my god.... the devils child is here."
I smiled and rolled my eyes at Joey. "Nice to see you too Joe."
"How you doin' Liz?" He hugged me tightly.
"Better on some days... worse on others."
"And today is?"
I smiled at Lance and hugged him. "It's a good day."
I spotted Chris and JC chatting up a storm and Justin flipping the burgers. "Excuse me, but I have some torment to give out." I smiled at them as I snuck my way over to Chris and JC. Justin spotted me and I winked at him and he shook his head with a smile on his face.
"But you don't get it Jace, I'm in the gutter here."
"It's your own fault. How could you do that to her?"
"I don't know." Chris sighed as he raked a hand through his hair. "I said the wrong name... I mean how could that happen?"
"Did she notice?" I asked as I jumped on his back.
He growled but laughed loudly. "How's Lizzy Borden doing?"
"I'm just great, thanks for asking." I smiled as I ruffled his hair. "So what's this about you calling Samantha by some other name?"
"I called her Daniel."
I cringed. "Ouch."
"Yeah.... Can you get off?"
"Certainly, JC?"
He came over and turned his back to me so I could hop on. "Such a charmer, you are JC Chasez."
"Okay, then how come I don't have someone?" He asked softly as he held onto my legs, making sure I didn't fall off.
"Because the women you try to get are stupid, immature and.... bimbos."
He cringed and walked towards Justin. "Is that so?"
I tensed up and shook my head. "Can we please go sit down on the bench?"
"I thought I could haul you off to Justin." He said as he kept walking towards him.
I quickly hopped down and pushed my hair out of my face. "Thanks, but no. I want something to drink." I smiled as I walked to the house and went inside.
I leaned against the counter with my back towards the door and I raked my hands through my hair quickly a few times to calm my nerves. I was avoiding him, I knew it and most likely by now, so did everyone else.
"Penny for your thoughts?" I felt his chin on my shoulder and his arms around my waist and I closed my eyes tightly.
"It'll cost you more than that."
"You're avoiding me, why?" He asked softly. I could hear the slight pain in his voice and it made my heart ache.
"We need to talk." I replied without looking at him or even moving from the position we were in.
"Let’s go upstairs." He moved back and took my hand as he led me up the stairs and into his bedroom.
I went over and sat down on the bed as he shut the door behind him. He walked over to me and kneeled in front of me with his hands on my knees looking up into my eyes. "What's wrong?”
"Us." I said softly as a tear escaped.
"What's wrong with us?"
"We... I... you..."
He smiled softly as he brushed the tear away with his thumb. "Take deep breaths and just tell me."
I took a deep breath and it all came out in a whoosh. "I love you, and I just lost my heart to you. And I'm scared you don't feel the same way. I know it doesn't matter because I could live with just being your friend, but there's that pat inside of me that'll always want more. More from you, more from me.... More of us together.... More than just a friendship." I sighed as I collapse backwards and looked straight at the ceiling.
"I don't know why this is all coming out all of a sudden. I don't know if it's because of Mr. Jacobs’s stupid assignment or what." I sat up and looked at him. "Please don't tell me I just made a fool of myself."
He licked his lips and shook his head. "No." He said softly. "No you didn't."
"What'll we do?"
"I..." He sighed as he stood up and sat beside me on the bed. "I don't know Liz."
"I shouldn't have said anything." I stood up to leave but he grabbed onto my hand.
"You're right. You shouldn't have." I looked at him in disbelief. "I should have.... a long time ago.”
That's what started it all. That's when we sat down and discussed everything. We learned a lot about our history with each other. For example... When we were fifteen and it was valentine's Day... I got a secret admirer card in the mailbox. When I said something to Justin that day about it, He shrugged and acted happy for me. That day when we talked, I finally found out who my admire was... it was him.
So... fairytales do come true, huh diary? Tomorrow is when I go in front of the class and present my project. I'm not sure if I should do it because of Justin and the fact that his PR and management could be really pissed. But he just smiled and shook his head when I told him I was worried. He told me 'You do it and I know you'll get an A’
So... goodnight diary and I'll make another entry tomorrow when I find out what my grade is for this most wonderful assignment.
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