Chapter 10: The Healing
I wake up with that same blah feeling I told you about earlier. I’m starting to get used to that; is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Wait a minute, I know that smell. It smells like…..Justin. I roll my head to the side and there he is curled up in a chair with a blue blanket draped over his tall frame.
I wonder how long he’s been here. Looking at him almost makes me forget about all the drama of the past few days. But of course reality creeps back into my mind and let me tell you something; reality bites.
I can’t believe he’s really here. I wonder who called him. It was probably Sandra; I bet she told him everything. Nosey bitch. I don’t want him here, to see me like this. I know him and he’ll only blame himself for this.
He’s moving now; he’s waking up. He yawns and stands up to stretch causing his t-shirt to raise a few inches and show of his well defined stomach. “You’re awake.” He states plainly. “How are you doing?” He asks. What a stupid question. How am I doing? How does it look like I’ve been you dumb f**k?
Justin sits down on the edge of my bed and I scoot as far away from him as possible without falling off the bed. He reaches for my hand but I pull away. I feel the urge to curl my knees up to my chest but don’t or more like can’t. “My God, Zee, what happened to you?”
Way to make me feel better. He’s great with words isn’t he?
“Please don’t push me away Mackenzie.” He pleads, making me feel bad for the thoughts in my head. “We’ve come so far; don’t throw all of that away.”
This time I reach out and grasp his hand. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
He swallows thickly and moves closer to me. “What happened?”
I close my eyes as I tell him about what my mother did to me. It hurts so badly to talk about it. “I’m too much of a burden for her.” I cry. “Dr. Jones told me that I should cut her some slack. Cut her some slack!”
Justin moves up to sit next to me in bed and I instinctively lean into him for comfort. He’s like my security blanket. Just knowing he’s here makes me feel ten times better.
“She said that it’s hard for my mom to get used to seeing me like this.” I laugh bitterly. “It’s like they don’t even take into consideration how difficult this is for me. I mean I’m the one who can’t even get up to go to the bathroom or dress or bathe herself. How hard do they think that is for me; to go from being completely independent to…to this?”
He wraps his arm around my shoulder as I cry even harder. I sniff and look up at his caring face and whisper, “I tried to kill myself.”
“I know.” He whispers back. He brings my left wrist to his mouth and kisses where the white bandage is wrapped.
“I don’t know what I was thinking.” I say, finally realizing all that I would have been throwing away. Sure at the time I didn’t think I had anything to live for but just sitting here with him….gives me strength to go on. He makes me want to show my family one day. I want to walk just so that I can one day walk away from them the way that did to me.
“It’s over now. I’m here and everything is gonna be alright.”
~*~*~*~
“How the hell do you let something like this happen? Do you even watch your patients?” I yell furiously pacing Dr. Jones’ office like a mad man.
“Mr. Timberlake, please try to calm down.” She says evenly.
“Calm down? She tried to kill herself!” God, my heart hurts; literally hurts. I feel nauseous just thinking about how she must have looked when her mother found her; sitting slumped in that cold bathtub surrounded by blood. I shutter.
“I know that.” Dr. Jones replies. “We have already taken the correct measures to ensure her protection by disposing of any and all sharp objects that could be used to induce self-inflicted wounds.”
What, is this supposed to make me feel better about the situation? Cause it doesn’t. She sounds so scripted. She doesn’t really care about Mackenzie. She’s just the patient in room 207; not a person.
“And what about her mother?”
“What about her?”
“Are you going to keep her away from Mackenzie?” I say in what my mom would call a ‘duh’ tone.
“I can’t do that.” She sighs, leaning back in her reclining leather office chair. I’m sure she’s frustrated with me. And you know what I could give a flying f**k. I am so angry right now I could….I don’t even know what I could.
“Why the hell not? She’s the reason Mackenzie tired to”no she did hurt herself.” I don’t understand. Why doesn’t she see what’s wrong with this?
“I can’t forbid a patient’s family from visiting.”
“So you’re just going to let her keep coming and messing with Mackenzie’s head? She’ll never get better that way and you know it.”
She sighs again. That’s all she’s f**king done since I got in her f**king office. I stand still in front of her desk with my fists clenched in anger so strong I’ve never felt before.
“While she is in this hospital, I dictate what is best for her and she needs her family, friends, someone around her.”
“What if I took her?”
TBC....(Reviews are always appreciated....hint...hint :) )
Number of reviews: 140
Print:
Chapter or Story