Chapter 16: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
It’s been three weeks since I’ve heard from my son. He called the day he left to let me know he got in alright, but that’s it. Every time I call I get his voice mail and he always calls when he knows I’m not home.
It’s tearing Mackenzie apart. She didn’t even talk to him the only time he did call because he claimed he had a meeting to get to. I tried to talk with her to figure out what is causing this rift between them but she didn’t give me much to go on. Mackenzie said she wasn’t quite sure herself why they were fighting so she didn’t know what to tell me.
I told her to just try to call him and straighten things out. She said she tired multiple times but just like me she always gets his voice mail.
So due to these circumstances I am currently standing outside my son’s hotel room waiting for him to come to the door. I can hear shuffling and giggling; a woman giggling. I don’t even want to know what I just interrupted.
Finally Justin swings open the door and nearly falls backward when he sees me.
Surprise, surprise.
“Who’s there baby?” The giggly girl I heard earlier calls out.
“What are you doing here mom?” He asks ignoring his play-pal’s question and allowing me to enter. He checks down the hallway before closing the door.
I don’t think I need to tell you who he’s looking for.
“I was worried you might be dead.” I answer sarcastically, dropping my duffle bag to the floor and glancing around his messy room. He’s always been a slob. There are clothes strewn every which way”both men’s and women’s”the bed is unmade, and uh, I won’t even start on the bathroom.
“Justy, look what I found”oh!” The young woman quickly cover’s her scantly clad body with the twisted sheet of the bed. “Who are you?”
Rude little skank….
“I am Justin’s mother. Who are you?”
“Ma, this is Ashley.”
I raise a brow at Justin before asking”no telling Ashley, aka, giggles to kindly leave me and my son alone. After she dresses and leaves I launch into him.
“So this is why you haven’t had time to call? You’ve been too busy f**king this girl?”
Please excuse my language but I’m a little upset right now. And what I mean by a little upset is f**king pissed off. Justin rolls his eyes and I suppress the urge to slap him across the face. I need to remain calm or at least as calm as possible.
“Mom I was not…..it’s not just sex.” It’s my turn to roll my eyes. I know my son and he’s no virgin; he’s a player. I don’t particularly like this but it is a known fact. “Is something wrong Mom?”
“Yes, Justin there is.” I reply taking a deep breath to try to composed myself. I feel like a volcano ready to blow. “When was the last time you spoke to Mackenzie?”
“Mom, I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
“Justin Randal Timberlake! Do you think I care about what you do and do not want to talk about right now?” I tried not to yell but that just isn’t gonna happen. And yes I played the middle name card. “Do you have any idea where Mackenzie is right now?”
“Well I’m assuming””
“Did I say you could speak?” He shakes his head and sits down on the edge of the bed. Boy does this bring back memories of when he was a little boy. He was a trouble maker; he was good at convincing his friends to do anything against their parent’s wishes. He never was one to disobey me, which was good. “She is back at the rehab center Justin. She thinks she’s not welcome in my home.”
I wait for him to say something. He’s just sitting there staring at his bare feet. “You have nothing to say?”
“I didn’t know I was allowed to speak.” He says with and obvious attitude. I’m waiting for a damn good explanation. “She’s better off there anyway.”
“I don’t even know what to say to that. I did not bring my son up to”what’s really going on here Justin?”
He runs his hand over his freshly shaven head. I really wish he would grow his curls back out, but that’s beside the point. “I’ve just been thinking about what you said the other day.”
“What did I say?”
“You know, about how I should watch how I act around Mackenzie. That a relationship is the last thing she needs right now.”
“That’s why you’re avoiding her? Because you’re afraid she might have feelings for you?” I ask gently taking his hands.
He lifts his head and my heart breaks when I see tears streaming down my baby’s face. Now I feel terrible for yelling.
“No,” He whimpers shaking his head, “I think I have feelings for her.”
~*~*~*~
It’s been two weeks, four days, and twelve hours since I last saw or heard from Justin; not that I’m counting or anything. I just don’t get it. I don’t know what I did wrong.
Did I act like an ungrateful bitch before? If I did it wasn’t intentional. I was feeling sorry for myself like always and I took it out on Justin. I would give anything to be able to take that back. He didn’t even really say goodbye when he left.
And when I try to call him he doesn’t answer. He’s either extremely busy or he’s screening his calls. I think it’s pretty obvious he’s screening.
So here I am; back at the rehab center. I don’t know why I ever left. I should have known something like this would happen. Lynn tried to get me to stay but I just didn’t feel right about it. I mean I can see her allowing me to stay if I was at least speaking to her son but I’m not.
I’ve gotten used to it here anyway. I’m back in my old room”no roommate this time, I’ve got Kate back as my nurse and the best part is Enrique is back to being my physical therapist. I’ve really missed him. We’re starting that aquatic therapy he told me about before I left.
He reminds me of Justin; I hate that. This whole place reminds me of him. How could it not? He used to come hang out with nearly everyday here for hours.
God, I’m so f**king pathetic! Things aren’t good here. I’m not used to it. I’m used to him being there for me when I need him.
And I need him, now.
TBC.....
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