Chapter 25: Dreaming of You
“Hello?” I smile instantly takes over my features at the sound of his sweet voice. It’s been nearly two months since he left and a week since we last spoke. Needless to say I’m missing him like crazy.
“Hey.” I answer shyly clutching an old sweatshirt he left at my place to my chest. I burry my nose in the soft material, catching the smallest whiff of him. His scent is starting to dissipate from the fabric so the usual comforting I get from it isn’t quite there.
“I feel like I haven’t talked to you in ages.” He mutters sleepily. He sounds tired and I almost feel bad for calling; I forgot about the time difference. Too bad, I need to hear his voice right now. I’ve had a trying day and I could really use something to get my mind off all that and Justin is just the man for the job.
“It’s been a week today.” I blurt out not realizing until after the words leave my mouth just how pathetic I sound. He’s going to give ten tons of crap about this now. He always used to when he was touring and he would call me at the hospital. Why don’t I ever think before I speak?
“I know,” He answers back sadly. “I wish you were here with me.”
I’m silent for a few seconds as I wait for a smart-ass comment. I get nothing. Awe, he really does miss me. “Me too.” I whisper sweetly suddenly feeling like I’m going to cry. Its bad to be away from your boyfriend but it’s ten times worse when your boyfriend is your best friend and really your entire support system. I’m really starting to regret the whole, I need to get my life back on track and I can’t follow you around like a groupie speech I made before he left. The life of a groupie really doesn’t sound all that bad right now.
“I miss you baby.”
I’m not even angry he just demeaned me be calling me baby”that’s how much I miss him right now. I can’t take all this sadness. I was calling Justin in hopes he would cheer me up and at the rate this conversation is going I’m going to be balling within the next few minutes.
"I'm missing you too…..like CHOCOLATE!!" I laugh into the phone, trying to lift the mood. I made fun of him for days after he said that to me. Apparently he says that all the time. It was just too cute and I couldn’t resist.
“Hey, don’t be stealin’ my words.” He laughs back.
“So how’s your movie going?”
Justin’s currently working on his first feature film. It’s called Edison and he plays a young journalist by the name of Joshua Pollack. His character uncovers an elite unit of corrupt cops and turns to a reporter and district attorney for help when he gets in over his head. The reporter is played by Kevin f**king Spacey and the DA is played by f**king Morgan Freeman. I just about died when he told me who he was going to be working with. Oh and LL Cool J and Dylan McDermott and Piper Perabow are also in it. I am just so excited for him!
“Awesome,” He replies enthusiastically, “Everyone has just been f**kng awesome!”
“Did you me my autographs?”
“Of course. I got the entire cast to sign a movie poster.” He better have. Every time we talk I pester him about getting those autographs and he says that he’s afraid he’ll look like a dork if he asks. I don’t care if he looks like a dork. I love Kevin Spacey and I want his autograph.
“Good.” I smile. I can’t wait to get my hands on that poster.
“I told them it was for my girlfriend but Kevin didn’t believe me so he’s been giving me hell all week about it.” He groans. I can’t believe he’s on a first name basis with Kevin Spacey.
“Isn’t my happiness worth it?” I reply cheekily. I gasp in offence when he doesn’t respond. “Hey!”
His loud cackle fills my ears and causes a shiver to sneak up and down my spine. “I was thinking.” I scoff in return, “Kidding baby, just kidding.”
“Yeah, whatever.” I roll my eyes although I know he can’t really see me. “So any love scenes with this Piper chick yet?”
“So how’s your therapy been going?” He asks, not so smoothly changing the subject.
“Did you tell them that I said your lips, under no circumstances, are allowed to touch hers?” I push, not allowing him to skate around this one.
“I can’t tell them that,” Oh yes he can. “And I haven’t even filmed a scene with her yet. Cool your jets woman.”
Yeah, I’m jealous. I’m not afraid to admit it. I mean what woman in her right mind would actually enjoy watching her boyfriend make out with another woman”even if it was all staged for a movie? I don’t want to see it. And no, I don’t really expect him to actually go up to his producer and say that, but I just want to let him know how I feel about the whole situation.
“Don’t call me woman.” I mumble grumpily.
“I’m sorry baby.”
“Justin Randall Timb””
“So what’s new with you?” He interrupts before I start in on him. He did it that time just to annoy me.
“Nothin.” I shrug.
“Same ol’ same ol’ huh?”
“Mmmm-hm.” I hum, hoping he’ll drop the subject.
“What happened?” He asks a knowing tone in his voice. Damn! I knew I wouldn’t get away with it. I used to like that he knows me so well but right now I really hate that quality.
“My Mom called.”
“Since when is having your mom call classify as nothing?”
“I just don’t want to talk about. I called you to get her off my mind.” I groan, tossing a pillow across the room in anger”meant towards my mother not Justin. I guess it’s more stress than anger or maybe frustration. I don’t know…my feelings are all jumbled right now.
“You know you have to talk about it now right?” He says. I hear blankets shuffle as he must be moving to a more comfortable position. I look to the vacant side of my bed and press my palm to the mattress. I wish he was laying right next me and not all the way in New York.
“She wanted me to go home for Thanksgiving.” I sigh knowing it’s no use to try to keep this from him.
“That’s in two days.”
“I know, that’s why I’m not going.”
“Good,” He spits, “They don’t deserve to see you.”
“I’m going for Christmas.” I sputter quickly. Now I just have to wait for him to blow. You see, Justin is still pissed at my parents for basically abandoning me at the very time I needed them the most. As far as he’s concerned he thinks I should just forget I ever had parents and adopt his. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still hurt and angry but they are my parents and I love them and desperately want back the relationship I had with them before my accident. I would give anything to have that life back.
“You’re f**king kidding me, right?” He booms. I can just picture him sitting up in his giant hotel room bed, clutching the sheets in anger. I shake my head at the mental picture I have of him. “You’re going to go spend the holidays with people who could give a flying f**k about you?”
I roll my eyes and switch the phone to my other ear. He is so dramatic. You see this is why I didn’t want to bring this up to him. “Don’t start Justin.” I sigh, “I want to do this okay? So don’t give me a hard time about it.”
“Okay”fine”I’m sorry.” He answers back shortly. “I’m sorry I don’t want to see them put you through that shit again.”
“Justin””
“The last time your mom rejected you, you tried to kill yourself Mackenzie. Do you remember that?” I’m silent as I try to control the tears that are threatening to fall. I don’t want to remember that. That’s when I was at my worst and it was a lot more than just my mom that put that razor to my wrists. “I don’t want that to happen again.”
“It’s not going to.” I whisper through my tears. “I have you to keep me sane.”
“I can’t be there with you though.” He sighs. Against my will a sob escapes me. My hand flies to my mouth to muffle my pathetic sounds from his ears. “Don’t cry baby.”
“This is why I didn’t want to talk about it. I knew you were going to do this.”
“I’m not trying to upset you Zee.” He explains, his voice sounding almost frantic. “I just want to make sure this is what you really want to do.”
“It is. They’re my family Jay, and I love them and want them back in my life.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” He asks gently. I let out a relieved sigh when he stops the parental bashing.
“No, go spend Christmas with your family.” I urge even though I secretly want him to come with me for support. I think I need to face them on my own. Plus who knows if Justin would be able to behave himself with all the built up animosity he has towards my parents and brother. I won’t let him come.
“Are you sure because””
“I’m sure.” I assure him.
“If you need me, all you have to do is call and I’ll be on the first plane out to you.” I smile at the worry and concern in his voice. He tells me this nearly every time we talk. He’s just a plane ride away and he has no problem spending the extra money on a last minute flight”how sweet is he?
“I know.”
“Look, its late here and I have to get up early tomorrow so I’m gonna go. I’ll try to call you tomorrow?”
“Okay, dream of me.” I smile, reciting our usual bedtime ritual.
“I always do.”
TBC.....
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