Chapter 25: Coming Home
(December 23)
I feel like I’m going to f**king puke. I didn’t sleep at all last night nor did I eat all day today. I’m just so freakin’ nervous. And it’s so wrong; I mean who gets this nervous over visiting their own family? Spending Christmas with your family is supposed to be joyous not nauseating.
My Mom called be four days ago reminding me to come home and visit them for Christmas--like I could really forget. She claimed that they’ve missed me like crazy, especially during Thanksgiving. At first I was still kind of shocked that she still wanted me to come and then I started to cry. I was so mad about how they’ve basically disowned me since my accident but that all changed only a few moments after I hear my mother’s voice. I hadn’t realized how much I’ve missed her and my dad and brother and little sister.
As I’m now waiting for someone to come answer the door I’m really starting to regret my decision to come. What if they can’t take seeing me like this? They’ll treat me different…like I’m some kind of freak. I wish Justin was here with me. I would have asked him to come but he’s spending the holidays with his family. He told me that I should only go if I though I was ready for it and that if I wanted him there to just call and he would fly out on the next plane. I assured him that I would be fine.
“Mackenzie,” My mother’s tear-filled voice greets. She opens the door completely and steps out to hug me. I must say I’m surprised with this open display of affection she’s showing. Tentatively, my arms raise and wrap around her, squeezing her back just as tightly. “You look wonderful.” She smiles when she finally pulls back.
Wow, I even got a compliment. She calls for my dad to come help me inside since I can’t make it up the steps. When he comes out he barely looks at me. He just picks up my chair, with me in it and drops me off just inside the doorway. He moves to walk away but my mother stops him. This is exactly what I was afraid of.
“It’s good to see you.” He says over his shoulder before walking out of the room to retire to his office. I feel tears building and I’m again wishing I never came. I’m not ready to deal with rejection again. I bite my bottom lip when it begins to quiver. My mom kneels in front of me, taking my hands away from my face when I try to hide my tears.
“It’s just hard for him to see you like this honey,” She whispers soothingly rubbing her thumbs over the backs of my hands. “It’s hard for all of us, but we’re trying. I know you think we’re being terribly selfish and mean but we’ve been keeping our distance so that we wouldn’t hurt you.”
Well that didn’t work. I pull my hands from hers and quickly wipe my tears. I will not cry over this; I won’t give him the satisfaction.
“Kenzie!” I smile covers my face as I see my baby sister run down the stairs with the biggest smile on her face I think I’ve ever seen. When she reaches me she jumps into my lap and throws her arms around my neck. I hold her tightly to me, reveling in how normal this feels to me. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too Noodle.” Me and Dan have always called Aubrey Noodle because she’s a ballet dancer and is so flexible”like a noodle. “Will you help me take my stuff to my room?”
“Okay,” She smiles widely, grabbing my small suitcase and taking off upstairs. Shit, I forgot my room was upstairs. I can’t exactly get up there by myself.
“Danny!” My mother calls loudly. That’ll clear out your ears. My brother comes sauntering into the room looking at my mother expectantly. “Will you help your sister upstairs please?”
He rolls his eyes and lets out an exasperated sigh. I didn’t realize I was such a burden to him. He walks to me, not looking at me once and silently lifts me from my chair. I hold my arms around his neck to stable myself as he starts up the stairs. I try to speak to him but from the way his jaw is set and he keeps his eyes forward I can’t bring myself to. He’s acting like he hates me. Why did they ask me to come home if they were planning to treat me like…..like….this!
“Thanks,” I whisper after he sits me on the bed. He nods in acknowledgement before quickly leaving the room.
Wow, I haven’t been in here in long time. It sure does bring back a hell of a lot of memories. My mother hasn’t changed a thing since I left for college. The same posters dress the walls and my closet and drawers are still filled with old clothes I chose to leave behind. I don’t recall my room being this blue before. Everything is light blue and pastel yellows and greens. Justin would love it.
“Mommy says your dating Justin Timberlake,” Aubrey prompts, jumping on the bed next to me excitedly. “Is that true?”
I laugh at her enthusiasm. “That’s true.”
She lets out a squeal. “Oh my God! I want to meet him!”
“You will.” I assure with a smile. I forgot what a huge Nsync fan she is. She has posters of them covering just about every inch of her bedroom”or at least she used to. I think Justin was her favorite too. I remember her telling me that someday she was going to marry him. I don’t know about that but if Justin and I last maybe she can at least say that he’s her brother in law.
“I would just die if I got to meet him,” She gushes. “Do you think he would give me his autograph?”
“I know it.” I laugh, hugging her to me again. I love how it feels like I never left when I'm around her. It’s as if Aubrey doesn’t even notice my handicap and I’m just the same big sister I’ve always been. The only difference is that I’m dating her crush. “I showed him a picture of you and he said he thought you were gorgeous.”
“He did not!”
“He did so!” I giggle.
“Do you know if he’s going to go back with Nsync?”
I shrug. I really have no idea. Justin’s never really talked to me about that before. I mean sure he’s mentioned doing things with ‘the guys’ and thrown out some names every now and then but that’s about it. I guess I would like to meet them someday and this Trace I’ve heard so much about.
“You never asked him!” She exclaims as though that’s just the absolute worst thing in the world.
“We don’t talk much about that.”
“Is he a good kisser?”
“Aubrey!” I can’t believe she just asked me that. My baby sister shouldn’t be asking me about stuff like that. She shouldn’t know anything about kissing. Boys should still be icky to her.
“What?” She asks innocently just as my cell phone starts ringing. She quickly hops of the bed and to my purse, pulling out the phone and handing it to me. “Is it him?”
I nod and flip open my phone. “Hello?”
“Hey baby,” He greets smoothly. I can just hear the smile in his voice.
“What did I tell you?” I scold playfully.
“Sorry cupcake.” He teases. I roll my eyes and look towards Aubrey who is sitting anxiously next to me trying to eavesdrop on my conversation. She’s not too sly about it either. “Are you there yet?”
“Yep.” I answer smiling at Aubrey, hoping she’ll get the hint to leave.
“You’re not alone are you?” He asks.
“Nope,” I answer back with yet another one word answer. I can’t exactly talk to him about my dad and brother shunning me in front of my baby sister. I’ll have to call him back later tonight when I’m alone. Too bad he’ll probably be too busy with his wonderful family. “My little sister is right here with me.”
“Ah,” He chuckles. “Can’t talk when the little sis is hanging around huh? Well you can just give me a yes or a no. Are they treatin’ you right?”
I bit my lip, suppressing the urge to burst into tears and beg him to come out here and get me. “Yes and no.”
He makes a displeased sound letting me know he doesn’t like my answer. “Is it everyone or just one person?”
“Two.”
“Your mom and dad?” He asks and I clutch the phone tighter.
“Dad.”
“And brother right?”
“Yeah.” I sigh, somewhat glad Aubrey is lurking so that I don’t have to get into it with him. I just know he’ll give me an ‘I told you so.’ That is not what I need. I need my family to accept me for what I am. And maybe for Justin to be sitting next to me instead of my sister. “I miss you.” I whisper, changing the subject.
“I miss you too.”
“How’s your Mom?” I haven’t seen Lynn in ages.
“She misses you and wishes you were here too.”
“Tell her I miss her too.” I smile. Seeing that Aubrey is starting to get bored I decide to wrap up our conversation so I can spend some more time with her. Granted I’ll probably be spent talking about Justin the whole time, but it’s still boding time. “I hate to cut this short but I just got here and””
“I understand.” He interrupts. “Call me later tonight?”
“Promise.” I assure before we say our goodbyes and hang up.
“What did he say?” Aubrey asks frantically, “Did he mention me? You never told me he was a good kisser or not?”
This going to be a long week…..
TBC......
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