Chapter 5: Progress
“What’s up Sandy?” I ask Mackenzie’s roommate tossing my breakfast on the table. She looks up from her drawing pad and smiles brightly at me. She’s too adorable. Why can’t Mackenzie act more like Sandra?
“Mackenzie’s doing physical therapy this morning.” She replies seeming to ignore my question.
Shrugging off my jacket I move to sit in the chair adjacent to her bed. “What do you mean?”
“She’s doing the parallel bars today.”
Wow. This is a shock. Last time I spoke with Mackenzie she was hell bent on not leaving her bed.
I’m….I’m….what’s the word I’m looking for? Proud? Yes. I’m proud of her. I can’t help the smile that comes to my face. Maybe I’m finally got through to her.
I ask Sandra for directions to the physical therapy room and headed there.
~*~*~*~
I hate this. I clench my jaw tighter to the point it feels as thought I’m gong to shatter my teeth. Tears are stinging my eyes and I can feel a sob creeping its way up my throat.
I will not cry.
I will not cry.
I will not cry.
I’m gong to cry.
I grip the parallel bars tightly from my seated position in my wheel chair. I wonder if it was this difficult learning to stand the first time around when I was like two.
“Just grab a hold of the bars and pull yourself up.” My physical therapist, Enrique tells me. Right; I’ll just grab hold these here magical bars and jump up and run a marathon. “I’ll be right here behind you to help you balance.”
I don’t want to do this. It’s pointless.
“Come on just one more try.” Enrique pushes.
I close my eyes tightly and bite down hard on my bottom lip. Willing the tears away and using all the strength I posses I heave myself on the bars. I feel my body move up to where I’m standing.
I’m standing!
I open my eyes just as my legs give out and my body falls limp in Enrique’s hands.
“You did it!” I look up quickly at the sound of his voice.
What the f**k? Can I not do anything without him showing up? Enrique lowers me back to my chair and stupidly invites Justin to come in. He’s got a big stupid grin on his face I secretly want to return but don’t dare. I will not encourage him. “I can’t believe you stood.”
My breathing is still labored and I can feel sweat running down my forehead. I’m exhausted and don’t feel like dealing with Mr. Timberflake today. I seriously don’t get why he bothers coming here to see me everyday. I have been nothing but rude and unwelcoming to him since I met him.
“Mmm…Mss. Mackenzie, you never told me you had such a cute boyfriend.” Enrique replies with his always adorable Latin accent. I see him looking Justin up and down and the uncomfortable look Justin has on his face and I want to laugh. If Enrique hadn’t suggested Justin was my…ugh…boyfriend I probably would have flat out laughed at Justin’s priceless expression.
“He’s not my boyfriend.” I breathe out finally gaining some control; over my breathing. “He’s open territory.” I can’t help but add with an evil smirk and encouraging wink.
Enrique wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and grabs Justin’s hand to pull him farther into the room. I can tell Justin is uncomfortable from the way his eyes are darting around the room. I can’t suppress the giggle that escapes me.
“You,” Enrique begins giving Justin yet another once over with his eyes, “are one fine specimen.”
“Uh, thanks.” He replies glaring at me only making my giggles worse. “Do you think you could give us a moment?” Enrique agrees and leaves the room after throwing Justin a flirtatious wink. “Did you enjoy that?”
I bite my lip finally calming my giggles and nod my head. I hear him mumble something under his breath but don’t quite catch it. I can feel him moving closer. He’s now kneeling in front of me with his hands resting on the arms of my chair to keep me in place.
“I was a little surprised when Sandra told me you were in here.” I roll my eyes at the sound of my roommate’s name. “Needless to say I was shocked when I saw you stand.”
“I didn’t really.” I find myself saying. “It didn’t last but about two seconds.”
“Hey,” He whispers moving his right hand to cover my own. “I was so proud of you.”
I don’t lthink I ike the way he’s looking at me.
“I felt like a…a proud father watching you stand. So what if it was only a few seconds, it’s progress.”
Okay so I know you are probably thinking ‘what in the world? Why is she letting him get this close to her all of a sudden?’
I guess I should tell you that my brother stopped by this morning. I hadn’t seen by brother since a week after the accident. When my mom called and told me he was coming I was ecstatic. Like I said before, me and my brother have always been super close. He’s only a couple years younger than me so I always related to him the best. So when I found out he was coming I figured he would finally bring me out of this slump I was in. He would tell me to get my ass in gear so that I could hurry up and get home and back to work with him.
Oh how wrong I was…..
He couldn’t even look at me. His eyes just kept on wandering around the room looking at anything but me. He didn't talk at all besides basically saying hello, how ya doing, and see ya before he split. Dan practically sprinted out of the room.
He’s ashamed; I know it.
Well, Justin is here and he’s not afraid to look at me or touch me. When he looks at me he doesn’t look at me with pity, he looks at me like I’m normal. He goes out of his way to just try and get me to smile. Like right now. He’s proud of me.
Dan’s ashamed, but at least Justin is proud.
“I'm sorry.” I blurt out. He furrows his perfectly shaped eyebrows. I know he’s waiting for an explanation but I just don’t feel like giving it to him. I’m emotionally and physically drained.
I don’t know what made me do it but I pulled him to me and wrapped my arms around his neck. I can tell he’s shocked because it took him a few minutes to slide his arms around me. Feeling tears coming I burry my face in the crook of his neck and let them flow.
I won’t push him away anymore. God, please just help me get though this. I just want my life back.
TBC..... Please, please, please review.....
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