For one. I can’t believe I hit the guy. Two, He’s my best friend. And three. I blame it all on Lauren and my emotions.

Jealousy can bring a man to his knees.

So I dropped Britney off at the house and I’m heading back to Lauren’s but I know she's not there. The way my knuckles hit his nose.... I know it’s broke. So I take the right towards the hospital and sigh as I fidget.

What can someone say after they punch their best friend, break his nose, break their trust. And all because of one girl and the emotions one man holds for her.

What can you say?

I don’t think there’s a hallmark card for that.

I park the car and walk inside and up to the receptionist desk. “Is there a JC Chasez here?”

She looks over the charts chewing on some bubble gum and popping bubbles. She’s aggravating me. “In the back.”

“Thanks.” I walk into the back and notice him leaned back with a doctor overtop of him and Lauren sitting beside him smiling. The doctor finishes and Lauren is still smiling as he hands he a sucker with a smiley sticker attached.

Dude, she’s not four-years old.

But she takes it in stride and smiles and shakes the man’s hand. He’s still yapping his jaws to her and she nods as he hands her a pen and paper.

Oh shit.

I feel like I should walk up to her and say something. But my feet are glued to the floor as I watch her write her number down and hand it back to him.

My whole world is just.... gone.

Shattered.

My eyes meet his as I hand the paper and pen back with my number on it. Michael smiles and shakes JC’s hand. I nod to whatever they’re talking about and watch as the emotions cross over his face. Anger, betrayal, sadness and finally, despair.

Hey. I never thought this would happen. I never ignored my fiancée I never ran off with an old flame. I never called this upon myself.

So why do I feel so... guilty.

I hand JC the box of earrings and run towards him. He shakes his head and turns around and runs off away from me. I’m running as fast as I can but no matter how fast I run he’s ahead of me. Always ahead of me. I’m reaching out to him but he’s just pulling farther and farther away. I stop as he opens the door and looks back at me.

It’s like the door is protecting us both from the demons that have burned us. Tears well in my eyes and he shakes his head. He places his hand to the door and I slwoly walk up to it and place my hand over where his is. We both smile miserable smiles.

We both know what we had is now gone.

Never to be resurrected and fixed.

What’s done is done. That’s that.

I mouth the words I love you and he nods and his hand slips from the door and he walks away.

It’s done.

I sniff back the tears as JC starts to walk towards me. “Goodbye Justin.”

I never really thought I’d cry over a woman. But Lauren is so much different. She’s not no ordinary woman. She’s unique and special. Tears are locking my view of the road as I pull over and get out of the car. I wipe at my eyes and lean against the hood and watch as cars fly by.

Her laughter is all my memories will hold right now. Her laugh, her voice, her touch. Her kiss. Everything that is her is in me. And I feel like a broken man right now without her here with me.

I knew it was over before. But not over. Not definitely. Now it’s for certain. She’s beginning to move on. She’s moving on.

I wipe my nose and sit on the roof of the car. Cars fly by and I just stare at the wide open blue Florida sky.

I don’t know where it came from. But anger just struck me. I hop off the hood and run and jump into the car and head towards home.

Burning tires in the driveway I fling open the door and walk down the sidewalk and open the door to the kitchen and walk into the living room. She’s laying there covered in a green blanket. “Hey.” She smiles softly. “How is he?”

I don't reply as I walk closer to her and lay on top of her and begin to make sloppy trails down her neck. “Justin?”

“No talk.” I reply quickly as I start to unbutton her shirt.

“Are you sure you want this?” She asks softly as I throw her shirt away from her. Me. Us.

I stop and look into her eyes. All I see is Lauren. I see her smile. Her eyes. Her nose, the way it would crinkle when she laughed. No matter h0w hard I try I can't get her out of my mind.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” she nods and I slip t the bottom of the couch as she straddles my waist and takes off her bra. She leans down after throwing the bra away from us. She licks my neck and I close my eyes.

Images of Lauren pass through me. The way her mouth hangs open slightly when we make love. The way she giggles when I touch her stomach a certain way. Just the essence of her.

I lick my lips and i can’t stand it anymore. I take her into my arms and begin what may be a huge mistake.

But at this point in time.

I just want to escape.

Escape Lauren.

I dropped JC off at his place after getting some aspirin at the store. My eyes are filled with tears as I stumble into the dark house. I manage to get to the living room and collapse into the chair. I look beside me and see the answering machine blinking. I push play and sit back and listen.

“Lauren. Hon it’s me. Just wondering if you were back yet. Give me a call.”

“I will Marissa.” I nod.

“Lauren Nichols. This is Mr. Turner from the state attorney. It’s time to discuss your mothers will. Please call me back at 923-375-6694. Thanks.”

“Great.” I sniff back my tears. The vision of Justin's face as he walked away wont leave my mind.

“You have a call from a person in the Florida state penitentiary. Press one to connect.”

I reach over and push erase.

My breath catches as I stare at the machine.

My dad called.