Two weeks pass by. It’s just another ordinary day with Michael. I think it’s become something serious. Something... I can look forward to at the end of a long day with painting. He loves my paintings.

I even did one of him.

He loves that one the most.

I’ve begun to love the way he smiles. My heart kind of jumps when he looks at me. Goes pitter patter when he touches my face. He does that a lot to me. It’s pure amiable

torture. Lock me up with chains and whip me baby, whip me.

Look at me. I’ve become some... love sick fool.

And the worst thing is whenever I’m with him I’m not just focused on him. I’m wondering about Justin. What’s he doing? Where he’s at? Where he’s going and all other things and questions ramming into the back corner of my head.

And no matter how hard I try I can’t get them to stop.

“Lauren you okay?”

I look at his hand resting on my knee and smile softly. Why do I have to feel guilty, down and depressed. I mean I have this lovable man sitting right in front of me. Who is here for me. ME. Can you believe that? Someone like me, Lauren Anne Nichols, she’s being the luckiest person alive right now.

And to think that that person is me.

Who would have thought it?

I lick my lips and slowly look up into his brown eyes. They’re so full of mischeif and wonder. “I’m fine.”

The waiter comes to our table and smiles lightly. “Anything else?”

I look up at him. “Margarita?”

He nods and walks away and Michael laughs at me. “Wasting away in Margarita Ville”

I laugh at the old tune that comes out of his mouth. “Something like that.” I nod.

It’s always something like that.

Two weeks, three hours and twenty-four seconds have gone by and I haven’t seen her. I still can’t believe she just spilt her guts like that, gave up the ring, and walked away. All in a matter of ten minutes.

Women sure know how to break a man down, don’t they?

I just came back from a doctors appointment with Dr. O. He checked my heart and said it was doing okay.

Like it was fine after having a surgery. That it was brand new. We all know that after getting something on your heart fixed it doesn’t automatically become brand new. It’s only brand new when you’re born or conceived.

He’s just selling me a crock of bullshit.

That’s all it is.

Thinking about something being conceived or born makes me think of Theresa. I see her face in my head every so often. I wonder if Britney is doing okay with her. She’s called every once in awhile. But I never answer. I fear I might hear a cry in the background, or a giggle, or a smooch to the forehead.

It’s heartbreaking.

I was thinking about raising her as my own. But I just... couldn't. I couldn’t. I couldn’t do that knowing very well she wasn’t mine that she was indeed someone else’s child.

It just wasn't right.

It wasn’t right.

So I guess that’s why I’m sitting on my counter talking to Jack and drinking all my troubles away. Jack’s been good to me over the years. He always listens and never back talks. He knows women. He knows them well.

Yeah, Jack has been good to me over the years.

I look at the Caller ID and frown. “Excuse me.” I stand up and walk away from him. I know his eyes are following me. He knows about Justin, the relationship we have, or had, or whatever it is we have or had. The point is he knows.

And I don’t think he likes it that i still think of him that way, that even when I’m with him, I think of Justin. I sigh as I lean against the wall that leads into the ladies room. “Hello?”

“Lauren?”

“Hey.” I smile. “I thought it was you.”

He sighs. “Not a happy call.”

“What is it?” My brows furrow and my legs begin to weaken. I already know before the words come out of his mouth.

“It’s Justin.” He sighs. I can just see him take a hand through his hair. “He had another heart attack.”

And my whole world is out of control.

It’s amazing how one thing can just change in the matter of a second. And how it takes a lifetime to fix something that’s completely torn apart.

Like a heart.

My eyes open slowly and I groan because my head is just pounding furiously. It must be really mad at Jack right about now. I roll over and hit something hard and warm. I flinch from the pain in my chest and roll back on my back. “Damn it.”

“Yeah.”

I know that voice. I know that tone of voice.

She’s not happy.

“Laur?”

“Justin how could you be so stupid.”

I feel her hand slap my arm. I can feel it and I heard it. It sounded like lightening crackling and thunder booming. My head is just.... spinning. “Do what?”

“Do what?” She growls. “YOU DRANK!”

“Ah.” I hold my head in my hands and roll on my side away from her. Hopefully she gets the hint. “Go away. We’re not suppose to talk remember.”

“I remember. But I’m still a friend. no matter what I'm a friend.”

“Please keep it down in here.” I turn over and look into the angry eyes of a nurse.

“What happened?” I ask softly. “Why am I in the hospital?”

“You’re been asleep for three days Justin. You had another heart attack. A more serious one. You keep this up and you’ll have to get a heart transplant.”

“Seriously?”

It’s not like I don’t believe her.

But I don't believe her.

She wipes her face and I finally see the tears. She gets on her knees and takes my hand into hers and rubs it against her cheek. “Please don’t do this. Please.”

“Do what?” I ask softly. I hate seeing her cry. It just tears me apart.

“Don’t wreck yourself because of us. Please don’t so that.”

I might seem like an ass right now, But I'm doing this for both of us here. Please forgive me god. “What makes you think I did this because of us?”

I can see the pain register across her face and she flinches. “I-- I...” She stands up and takes a few steps back. “I’m sorry. I just thought that--”

“You thought wrong.” That sounded harsher than I thought.

“Well.” She looks down at her hands and slowly her eyes meet mine again. “I’ll just, uh... leave then.” She grabs her purse and walks out, shutting the door quietly behind her.

I turn my back to the door and sniff, wipe my eyes and sigh.

You said goodbye.

And so did I.