This sucks.
My one day off, and I, Justin Timberlake, have NOTHING to do. So, me and my fantastic life, are sitting here, on my $1200 couch, watching MTV. You would think that someone like me would have no interest watching MTV, but I’m still a 23 year old guy. I like watching videos of girls shaking their asses, and shows about “7 strangers picked to live in a house”. It amuses me. But yet, I’m still here, staring at the ceiling, hoping it will change if I gape at it long enough.
“At 6, we’re showing a block of Newlyweds, at 7, Direct Effect, and at 8, Made. But up next, TRL!”
Now that caught my attention. I may be a day dreamer, but those three letters, representing those 3 words, showing those 10 videos could grab the attention of a 90 year old man whose brain is programmed to only hear things associated with BINGO. I mean, come on. It’s the show that can jump start someone’s career, end someone’s career, or add some sugar and spice to someone’s career all in one. In the old days, when someone signed a record contract, all they could think about is how they want to make their dreams come true. Nowadays, the one thing that crosses their mind is “I’m gonna be number on Billboard, Rick Dee’s, and TRL!” I guess my momma was right when she said “Over time, generations change.” When I was younger, I always danced to Michael Jackson’s “Bad”. I didn’t know that 15 years later, we would see how seriously he took those lyrics.
Because I'm Bad, I'm Bad…Come On, I’m Bad
You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad…You Know It
You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad…Come On, You Know
And The Whole World Has To Answer Right Now
Just To Tell You Once Again,
Who's Bad . . .
Sorry. I couldn’t resist. I mean, generations change, Michael and “Bad”, his charges in court… ya know?
All right. Nevermind.
Anyway (I warned you… my mind tends to wander easily), back to my initial thoughts. TRL can basically control your career. Is that a good or bad thing? For someone with a good video, it could launch them into superstardom. For someone with a bad video, it could send them down the long road of One Hit Wonders.
I mean, to some chubby 13 year old girl with acne, it may only seem like a TV show, to see if her favorite singer would be number 1. But to the musician, it’s definitely is a bigger issue than that. I mean, you remember when J.Lo made history because she had a number one album, movie, single, AND video on TRL. I mean, it’s like the American Bandstand of the yesteryears.
“Today on TRL, we have a visit from Chingy, a premiere of Britney Spears’s new video, and your Top 10! Stay tuned. TRL starts NOW!”
The minute they said her name, I froze. My heart stopped it’s beating, and my veins turned to icicles. What’s the chances of me watching TRL, which is rare on its own, the SAME day Britney’s video is premiering? I guess it’s more than I thought.
Damn her. Damn her for doing this to me. I perfectly fine living my life the way it is now. Cameron and I are doing great. Just great. I don’t need to see her video. She’s probably hoping I’m watching this, weeping in the end of our relationship. That was like 2 years ago! I’m fine. I really am. I am. I am.
Oh, fuck it. If I was over her, I wouldn’t be glued to this couch, waiting for any sign of her video, her voice, her face, anything. I hope to god she’s not there. Oh crap. I swear, I let her do this to me. I fell way to deep and now she’s like my slave master. Worst part is… she doesn’t even know it.
When she cheated on me, I forgave her. I knew in my heart that those weren’t her true intentions, and that it was an accident. She was drunk. I get drunk sometimes. And the next morning, I can’t remember anything. I thought she just went too far, and got sucked into some guy’s spell.
I always fell into her innocent-yet fun trap. Her smile could hypnotize anyone. I mean, she brainwashed America to fall in love with every single teen queen who hits airwaves. Even if they lost their fame in the long run, she’s the one that paved the road. If she can program 250 million people into liking something, than there’s no doubt that she can convince me-hopeless romantic Justin- that what she did was a “total accident”. So I guess it was an accident the second time too, right?
And the third time?… But the fourth time, I was on the ball, and I broke up with her. I couldn’t be with someone who cheated on me 4 times, I mean, don’t you think she started some kind of pattern? You’re probably thinking, ‘oh god, what an idiot’. But seriously, she is very convincing. Not only in sexual ways, but in umm… other ways too… you know? Fine. Fine. You caught me. She was tempting. She was beautiful, sexy, amazing, and… tempting. I mean, to what guy wouldn’t she be? She’s like a goddess, with her body, and her incredible brown eyes-
Alright! Alright! Would you stop letting me get off track?!? Lord, I’ll never get anything said here…. What was I talking about again?
Anyway, since I kind of lost my IMPORTANT train of thought, I’ll just think of something else.
“Alright… what we’ve all been waiting for…” the DJ said, obnoxiously loud.
Phmph…Yeah right. I haven’t been waiting for this. I could get up right now and go to the post office or something, if I wanted too.
“The premiere Britney Spears’s new, sexy, deep, amazing, and mysterious new video… EVERYTIME!”
Well if ya put it that way…
The soft keys of a piano started to play, as I saw her. All dolled up in her short skirt and sunglasses. Her skin as bronze as ever, and her small pout. When her eyes were revealed, I saw a similar sign of depression in them as I had seen many times before. I remember hearing somewhere, that this song, was Britney’s comeback to “Cry Me A River”. Why hadn’t I heard it before?
The video went on, and my shock value increased with every second. The video was so metaphorical, and intelligent, and mystifying, and beautiful. Almost like a piece of art. It was so incredible, and truthful… so…Un-Britney.
As the final scene ended, I tried to keep my male hormonal issues in check, as she came rising out of the water in the bathtub, naked, with a smile on her face. I tried to keep the true meaning of the video in my mind, before I could even thinking about how my manly man areas were reacting.
Was this song to make me feel guilty? Feel guilty for writing my song? Feel guilty for making my video? Feel guilty for breaking up with her? For dating Cameron? For saying mean things about her in public? If that was her plan, then again, the famous Britney Spears Guilt Trip plan was working, free of charge.
At the moment, there was nothing more I wanted to do then take her out of the TV, and have my way with her right there. Convincing and pleading her to take me back. I wasn’t even seeing her in the flesh, and I was already getting my weak-fall into Britney- old self back.
Oh motherfucker… I hate this. I wish I never tried out for that stupid show, and met this stupid girl, and fell in love with this stupid girl, and break up with this stupid girl, and make a video about this stupid girl, and sit here and watch a video of this stupid girl, making me feel guilty for what I did to the stupid girl. This was STUPID!
I think you got my point… Stupid… yeah… I’m pretty sure you understood.
But just in case you didn’t get the picture. Britney was the stupid girl, who I stupidly fell in love with, and stupidly broke up- Alright… you get it.
I sighed, and leaned back against the couch. What’s some way to get this off my mind. What about whistling?
Alright, this is stupid. Let’s turn the station. I clicked the TV over to the TV Guide Channel.
“Next, we’ll show you a sneak preview of Britney’s new video, and let’s just say Justin might be feeling majorly guilty about his little “Cry Me A River” escapade.”
Hmm… yeah Justin probably is feeling pretty sad about it now. I never would’ve thought that…
Rolling my eyes, in frustration and annoyance, I changed it to VH1.
“Next up is the “The Fabulous Life Of: Britney Spears”, and ladies you won’t want to miss how much Justin made her life fabulous…”
Oh really? I thought that Justin dude, was just a little puppet for her? Hmm… never thought he would’ve made her life good or worth living. No… Never.
Even more frustrated, I changed the Weather Channel. Nothing there with Britney.
“Up next on our Weather Features, we have footage from a Britney Spears concert, with horrible weather conditions, of raging winds, and rain, that almost had to cancel the show. We’ll be back with that and more, after this.”
Did I tell you how much this sucks?
Number of reviews: 3
Print:
