JC sat in his living room in the middle of the floor, still donning his classic black and white tuxedo, surrounded by hundreds of wedding gifts as he stared down at his engagement picture. Tears streamed down his cheeks, falling helplessly onto the glass frame. He lifted the bottle of champagne to his lips again, feeling the now warm liquid burn it’s way down his throat. Today was supposed to be the happiest day of his life. He was going to marry Lindsay, his high school sweetheart, the woman he’d loved since he was fifteen. JC thought everything was perfect. The wedding was planned, the invitations had been mailed, the caterer paid. Even as he stood with his best friends waiting for the ceremony to begin, he still had no idea what was going on in her mind.
We promised that we’d share our lives
And nothing could tear us apart
But I feel that something has gone wrong
I must try to find a way
To tell you what I want to say
That I feel that something has gone wrong
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
JC stood at the other end of the aisle, waiting for his angel to walk towards him so they could be joined in marriage. Lindsay was everything he thought he wanted and needed in a woman. She was beautiful, successful, intelligent, funny, sexy as hell, she was perfect to him. As he stood proudly, waiting for her to come to him, you couldn’t keep the smile off his handsome face. This was it; the moment he had been waiting for for the last two years. Suddenly, instead of his love walking towards him down the aisle, he saw Lindsay’s sister Pam coming towards him instead. Her face was a mixture of worry and sadness all rolled into one.
“JC,” she whispered in a hurried voice.
“What are you doing here Pam? The wedding is about to start.” he whispered back.
“She’s gone.”
“What?” he asked, not sure he quite understood what she was saying. Tears were not falling from Pam’s soft green eyes, eyes so much like Lindsay’s.
“She’s gone. She asked us to leave her alone for a minute. When I came back to get her she was gone. I’m so sorry JC.”
“She’s gone…” JC said loud enough for the entire audience to hear. There was an audible gasp as JC calmly walked from the sanctuary.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*End Flashback*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I don’t feel the flame again
I don’t want to have to pretend
That I’m still in love with you
See me
Free me
Let me go
I will not promise you
The things that I can’t do
When I can’t afford to live in love that’s through
Forgive me I have sinned
I’ve made a broken dream
And this has to end
I hope you understand
JC was startled when he heard someone walk inside his house. He turned his teary gaze towards the door, surprised to see the woman who broke his heart. He let out a bitter laugh and looked away
“Look who finally decided to show up.”
“JC, please, let me explain.”
“Oh, please do,” he said as he took another long gulp of champagne before standing to face her a little shakily. “Please tell me when you decided to crush my heart in front of all of our friends and family. I’d like to hear it,” he never took his eyes off her as he drank once more. Lindsay looked away from him, almost unable to stand the hurt in his blue eyes that always looked upon her with such love. A single tear slipped down her cheek as she finally found the courage to meet his eyes.
“JC, we’ve been together since we were fifteen years old. Eleven years, JC. That’s how long we’ve been together. We were each other’s first everything, how do we know we are exactly what each other needs for the rest of our lives?”
“That’s not it and you know it. How long Lindsay? How long has it been since you stopped loving me?” JC asked, his eyes glistening with more tears. Lindsay didn’t want to have to admit to him that she no longer was in love with him, but she should have known he’d see right through her. After eleven years, you could read your partner like a book.
“About a year,” she managed to choke out. JC laughed softly.
“A year? Wow, how could I possibly have been so blind?”
“It has nothing to do with you…” she began, but JC cut her off.
“WRONG!” he yelled as he threw the champagne bottle into the fireplace. “It has every damned thing to do with me. Tell me what I said or did to make you stop loving me, Lindsay. I want to know what I did wrong.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, JC. It just happened.”
“Oh, that explains it then. It just happened like magic right?” Lindsay didn’t say anything as tears continued to stream down her face. “I want you to tell me the truth Linds. Is there someone else?” Lindsay looked up at him with wide eyes full of surprise. She looked down at her hand that still wore his engagement ring and nodded slowly. “Bitch,” JC murmured angrily.
“I met him when I went out with my friends about six months ago. His name is Justin. He’s a stockbroker in Manhattan. He’s a really good man, JC. I don’t know if it will last, or if he’ll make me happy. The thing is I want to try.”
“Well, that’s obvious Lindsay.” He was quite for a moment, then spoke again, “I do have one more question for you. Do you think things would have been different if we hadn’t lost our baby last year?” Lindsay bit her bottom lip and looked back down at her hands again. JC eyed her confused for a moment, then realization finally hit him. He let out a choked sob, “No. Please tell me you didn’t.”
“I’m sorry JC, I just wasn’t ready to be a mother.”
“You…you had an abortion?” he asked, praying that she would deny it, but she nodded her head instead. “Oh my God, Lindsay! How could you do that?!”
“I couldn’t go through with it. I had realized I wasn’t in love with you anymore, and I just couldn’t have a child with you. You were just so happy and I didn’t want to hurt you that way. I didn’t want you to ever know what I had done.” JC angrily wiped fresh tears from his face.
“Get out. I never want to see your face again.”
“Please, JC…”
“No! I don’t want to hear anything else you have to say. You’ve never told me anything but lies. I don’t think you ever loved me. If you did, there was no way you could have done this to me.” Lindsay slowly removed the diamond from her hand and held it out to him. He looked down at it for a moment, then shook his head. “No, I don’t want it. Keep it. No, better yet sell it and go buy yourself a conscience.” He turned away from her. When he finally heard the door shut behind him, he collapsed to the floor and let his tears fall freely down his cheeks. He cried for everything he lost, especially the innocent child that was taken from him. He built his world around her, and now everything was broken and shattered all around him. JC didn’t know how to pick up the pieces, but he knew somehow he’d get through it and he would live again. Somehow he would.
I don’t feel the flame again
I don’t want to have to pretend
That I’m still in love with you
See me
Free me
Let me go
We promised that we’d share our lives
And nothing could tear us apart
But I feel that something has gone wrong…
Song Credit: "Broken Dream" by: Anggun
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