Justin hobbled around his suite, refusing to allow me to help. After a few hours' contemplation, and cleaning up my office, I’d given Justin a call. He sounded relieved to hear me, almost as if he was happy that I called, which made me happy in return. Vicious cycle, ain't it? Before I even knew what was going on, I’d made a plan to sneak out of Brit’s interviews for the night.
“That seems really painful,” I commented, sitting on his couch. “Are you sure you don’t need to get that checked out?”
He sat next to me and shook his head defiantly. “I’m a man. I’ll be okay.”
Geez, what’s up with guys and their pride?
I was still a little anxious to see what exactly this was about. Justin usually called me when he needed someone to talk to and he never gave me notice. While I knew that I’d listen to anything he had to say, I really wasn’t sure if I could stomach listening to hours of Britney’s stupidity. It’d taken me nearly an hour to convince her I had something to do.
We sat there a few more minutes enjoying the Mu Shu pork and Lo Mein noodles we’d agreed on earlier. The cheesy Sci-fi movie Justin had rented was predictable and boring. My eyes were beginning to glaze over, but I wasn’t complaining- J had scooted closer to me and we ate from one another containers leisurely. Just as the hot scientist was about to save the helpless female lab technician from the slimy, brain sucking alien, Justin turned the TV off and looked at me.
“I’m sorry,” he stated quietly, his exhalation punctuating the simplicity of it.
I looked at him, puzzled. “Did that door hit you in the head, too or did you forget already? We went over this.”
“No, not that,” Justin looked at me with a saddened look. Not just in his face and features, but in his eyes. “I’m sorry for never acknowledging you before all of this. All these years you were right under my nose and I was just being a conceited ass.”
“Well, your nose is pretty big. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was just blocking your view.” I once again felt a little uneasy. He was looking at me as if he’d never seen me before, and only hoped that he couldn’t feel me heartbeat with our close proximity.
“Ha ha, very funny,” his tone slightly amused. “Either way, it shouldn’t have taken me this long to realize that you’re such a great person. Who knows how many interesting things I’ll never know about you?”
I was a little more than confused as to where this thought stemmed from, but I humored him.
“You could start now. What do you want to know,” I asked. I turned to face him, putting a little distance between as I tucked my legs under me.
“What’s your favorite color?”
The awkward silence was now replaced with our laughing and discussion. Not just any discussion, but a bona fide conversation that friends would have. For the first time since… well, since I’d known Justin, we sat there and had a conversation that wasn’t based around Britney.
Random questions were thrown around for the next two hours. We found the answers to questions such as, “Got any siblings”, “what’s your least favorite holiday” and “why do we drive on a parkway” very amusing. Maybe we’re just dorks, but it seemed to entertain us.
“What was your first pet?”
“I had a goldfish named Bubella.”
“What?” he chortled. “Kitten and Bubella forever.”
“I was torn between Bubbles and Cinderella, so I combined them.” I glowered at him, but it only pushed him to laugh harder. “I was four!” I whined and pouted for mercy, but he began to guffaw instead. I shoved his shoulder dramatically. “Are you ever going to stop calling me that?”
“What, Kitten? Not a chance, unless you like plain old Cat, or kitty.” His face suddenly lit up and he grinned, mischief playing in his eyes. “I could always settle for p-”
I nearly choked on my orange soda, knowing exactly where his dirty mind was headed. “Change of subject. How’s the album going?”
Still amused by my squeamish reaction, he mellowed enough to answer me. “Great. Actually, we’re working on choreo now. Marty is awesome.”
“I can’t wait to see you on stage. I know it’s going to be really entertaining.” Grinning, I added, “Who knows, it might even be good.”
“Whatever, girl. You’re gonna’ love it! Ooooh, there’s this one part that I just learned where I go to my left, and I do this little grapevine into a passé- but more manly,” he stressed, his eyes lit up like Christmas bulbs.
I simply nodded, not really sure what he was talking about. Everything was so technical, but he understood it perfectly and seemed proud to share it with me. Even though I tried my best to seem interested, I couldn’t follow him and he understood- either that, or he saw me nodding absently. I was grateful because, no matter what the reason, he stopped using French words.
“Here, why don’t I just show you,” he insisted, already pushing off from the comfy leather. Limping towards the center of the floor, he waved off my attempts to stop him. “It’s simple really, but it looks so cool.”
Well, the first millisecond looked really great until a sudden, sickening pop resounded through the room. Justin grimaced in pain as he fell to the floor with a thud, clutching his throbbing ankle. I rushed to his side. Small tears were collecting at the corners in response to the intensity with which he scrunched them closed. His forehead was riddled with wrinkles and his face was flushed- a pale pink hue covering his skin. Even his breathing was fierce. When he began muttering curses, I figured that he was ready enough to tell me how he was feeling.
“What happened? Where does it hurt?” I ran my hand down his calf, placing it over his own. “Does it hurt to hold it?”
“It’s not my ankle,” he responded through clenched teeth. “Something in my foot. I don’t even want to touch it.”
“I’m gonna’ get you some ice, then we’re going to the emergency room.”
Sitting up as far as he could, he grabbed my arm and my attention. “I can’t go to the hospital. Can you imagine what the tabloids will spin it into?”
“J, have you lost your mind? You’re going either way. Besides,” I began rolling his sock down. He exclaimed with another group of expletives, tightening his fists in the process. “How do you plan on walking and dancing on it if you can’t even get your sock on and off? Now, I’m calling Eric to help you outside and after I can grab some ice, we’re on our way.”
“How long did they say you’d be in that?”
Glaring at the cast for a few seconds, he remembered my question and eventually sulked out, “At least three weeks. They say that it’s only a fracture, but the damn pop scared me. They better be right about it though. I have too much shit to get done.”
I shook my head. That boy is such a perfectionist and I could tell that thought of being sidelined was pure misery. “Take a break, dude. At least you can rest up before you have to promote.”
“I suppose,” he groaned, shuffling through the hall on his crutches. “I’ll be in the studio for a while. Finish up my background vocals and what not. Hey, you can-”
Our conversation was interrupted by my cell phone.
Do I even need to tell you who it was? Honestly, what other person has timing like that? Unlike most of her inane calls, Britney was waiting for me so we could watch our favorite movie “Cruel Intentions”.
Although I was annoyed, I had to admit that the thought was very sweet. Actually, she had been doing things like that lately; calling me to ask if I wanted anything while I was running errands or just to make conversation when she was bored. Suddenly we were getting along better and doing little things the way we used to.
Hearing the conversation, Justin offered to walk me down to the very private parking lot. According to him, it just wasn’t safe for me to be out this late in such a secluded place. We reached my car, but I stalled. I wasn’t ready for my almost perfect, almost Britney-free world to end so suddenly.
The setting was kind of eerie, it was so dark, but at the same time, it was soothing. As the darkness rushed over us, we didn’t have to worry about any of the stress or worries that plagued us during the day. It allowed us to take in the small details we usually overlooked; the way Justin shuffles his feet when he’s nervous, or the way I continuously twist my ring.
Moreover, the deep of night shielded our eyes and permitted us to take in feelings. All of our emotions seemed to pour out and encase us. We had a connection that was deeper than words or touch.
However, touching is always essential. I was compelled to kiss his cheek gently before heading towards my car.
“Becca, wait up for a second. Thanks for everything.”
I stopped and turned back to look at him, a little confused. “I’m not doing anything a friend wouldn’t do.”
“I just feel like I’m taking up your time with all of my extra baggage.”
“Don’t be silly, J.” If only Justin knew how much I looked forward to our mid-night phone calls and sporadic, but entertaining tête-à-têtes. (Ha, he’s not the only one who can spew out fancy French words.)
“But think about it. You’re being seriously jipped. I get counseling sessions for free. Now you’re nursing me back to health and you get nothing in return.”
“Just remember: confidentiality rules only apply to the professionals. I’m sure the National Enquirer would like to know all of your dirty little secrets.”
Justin’s jaw dropped in mock horror. “Please don’t tell anyone about me playing dress-up. I just thought the lace teddy made my butt look good.”
I nearly fell on the ground laughing. Finally Justin pushed my hair out of my eyes and caught my attention. “Would you come to dinner with me?”
“Isn’t that what we just did?”
“Well, yeah, but I-uh,” he shifted around for a second before he looked back at me. “I was thinking of something more formal.” I must have looked horrified at the idea, because he added, “It doesn’t have to be a date if you don’t want it to be.”
I thought for a minute and nodded. “Yeah, I would love to join you for dinner.” I began to walk to my car, but was stopped yet again.
“You never answered my question.”
“I said yes,” I joked in an exasperated tone. “What more do you want?”
Justin scratched the nape of his neck; more out of habit than need. “Do you want it to be a date?”
I looked at him incredulously. I honestly didn’t know how to answer. Now some of you may be thinking, “Duh…of course it should be a date”, but it wasn’t that simple of a question for me. In all of the years that I had known him, I had never really thought about us in that way. Besides, he was my best-friends ex!
In that one thread of a question, many choices were woven: my friendship, whatever this weird thing was between Justin and I, and most importantly, my own happiness.
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