It was at that moment that I truly hated Britney. I had never known Justin to be bitter or remorseful; he always believed that things happened for a reason. All of the crap Britney had put him through had turned him into someone different; Justin was always the type of guy that loved to be around his family and friends. Now, although he had called me over, I wasn’t sure that he really wanted to be around anyone at all.
He sat near the balcony, looking out from time to time. I sat across from him in the plush love seat. We stayed like that for about 5 minutes: I would take a glance, he would take one, and then we would catch each other’s attention for a second and look away.
“If I remember correctly, I told you to call me when you needed to talk; so I figured that’s what you wanted to do when you asked me to come over.”
Justin nodded, but he continued to gaze out at the view of New York. “Where do I start?”
“Um…I don’t know. What are you thinking right now?” I honestly didn’t know what I was doing. However, I did know that it couldn’t be easy for him, so I thought a neutral question might help.
“Why is the sky blue?”
“You know what I mean.”
For the first time since I’d entered he looked at me and sighed deeply. “This is really weird.”
“What’s so weird about this?”
“It’s not you, it’s just that…Britney and I never really got to talk about anything other than work; either that or we-” Justin’s voice faded out and I understood. “It became a purely physical relationship.” Believe me, I should know: they always shared a hotel room next to mine.
Justin nodded in agreement. “I mean, when we first started going out, it was great. We were on tour together and I got to have my friends and my lady. I never had to choose. And, god, everything was so pure. She would freak out if I even said I was horny or if I joked around with the guys about that kind of stuff.
“Then, out of nowhere, we were so infatuated with each other. Anytime we could spend time with each other, we were having this mind blowing sex. That didn’t matter though cause we still had those pure moments of love.” Justin smirked and looked over at me. “You probably don’t want to hear this, do you?”
I have to admit, the thought of them like that wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but I knew that it was important to Justin to get it off his chest. I forced myself to listen and urged him to continue.
“The magazines started talking about how wonderful we were together and Britney was always saying how great our relationship was. Suddenly, everyone thought of me as the poster-child for great boyfriends.
“I can take the tabloids and the rest of the scum saying stuff about me, but the worse part was Brit. She expected me to live up to all of the stories that had been made up. She only wanted to know the ‘perfect’ me. Suddenly, the real me wasn’t enough.” Justin leaned over, his elbows on either knee and his face in his hands.
He stood up and faced the window once again. I stayed on the couch for a little while and waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. I moved behind him and realized that he wasn’t talking, not because he didn’t want to, but because he couldn’t. A small tear ran down his cheek. I wrapped my arms around him and felt him tense, almost as if he had forgotten I was in the room.
I wished that I could stay there with him until it was all over; until the magazines and reporters and tabloids forgot about it, but I knew it was impossible. I wanted to go back to the old days when I could make Britney apologize for her stupid antics. This time however, Justin didn’t want an apology; he just wanted to get over her.
We stood that way for a few minutes before I was brought back to reality with the musical ring of my phone.
Looking at the LCD, I sighed, but answered it anyway. “Uh-huh…I can be there in 30…I know…extra ice, not too much chocolate…okay…I’ll meet you there Brit.”
I felt guilty for leaving him there like that. I suppose I was more worried than I needed to be: I just had to remind myself that he could take of himself.
Justin winced at the name and wiped his face as discreetly as possible. “Thanks,” was all he said as I walked out the door. It was more than enough for me.
